by D. N. Carter
Alisha thought on her words and shook her head no slowly.
“And was it different with your husband?”
“Oh Lord now you will be embarrassing me,” Sister Lucy replied and laughed but she could see the need for answers in Alisha’s pained eyes. “Aye, my young lady, ’Twas different…but there was not that deeper connection, of our hearts becoming as one,” she explained but then laughed to herself, shaking her head. “But it did not start so romantically,” she grinned.
“Pray tell me why,” Alisha pleaded.
“’Twas rather unceremonious actually. The first time we ever made love my husband was away…oh the way my heart beat that night for Theodoric. We were in my chamber…having so deviously coerced him into the room. I had no intention of doing anything…I just wanted to be in his exclusive company,” she started to explain and laughed again. “I actually asked him to remove my necklace as I turned my back to him,” Sister Lucy said then paused as she smiled thinking back upon that time.
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“And…what?”
“Well, he approached me from behind, started to kiss the back of my neck, then raised my dress up over my waist…oh I nearly fainted my heart was beating so fast…and he took me, right there and then,” she laughed and bit her thumb nail.
“No?” Alisha asked surprised. “Theo did?”
“Aye. Turns out he thought I had said would you help me take off my knickers, not necklace!” Sister Lucy laughed.
Alisha laughed hearing her tell this. They both laughed and held each other’s hands for several moments. When Alisha stopped laughing, she realised that in that instant, that one simple small laugh had changed everything inside her. She looked back up at her dagger. She took a deep breath. If Arri could fight to protect his little sister, then she could, and she would fight for her now and their father…even if he never returned to her arms, Ailia would at least have her father alive. Filled with a new sense of determination, she stood up and looked at Sister Lucy, who could see a change in her expression.
“Lucy….do you still have Theodoric’s writing case?” she asked, her voice no longer shaking.
“Aye that I do, my girl. Why?” she asked, puzzled, and folded the small towel over her arm.
“You sound more like Theodoric daily,” Alisha replied and feigned a brave but pained smile. “I must write something for Paul. Have Stewart and Ishmael left yet?”
“No…Balian and Brother Teric argue ’tis too late and dark. They would miss or cover any tracks Paul has left. And the language, well! But why?” she asked again.
“And Nicholas?”
“He is with Theo…and you, my girl, as harsh as my words may now sound, you have broken two men this day.”
“’Tis not harsh…but true. But for now, please, Theo’s writing case.”
“What of your bath?”
“That I can do when I have finished what I must now do. ’Tis the stain upon my soul and within my heart that needs cleansing more this hour.”
It was past the midnight hour when Alisha walked toward the Templar guard room. She knew Nicholas was in there with Theodoric and Balian. She pulled the dark green fur lined hooded cape Princess Eschiva had given her tightly around her neck, to stop the freezing wind blowing against her chest. Upside stood outside the large ornate double doors looking cold and blowing into his hands, the odd snowflake blowing gently past toward the ground. Another Templar guard stood opposite. When she reached them Upside simply shook his head no, she would not be allowed to enter.
“Let me pass, for I do not have the time to go and drag Princess Stephanie from her chambers at this late hour,” she demanded, a small sealed scroll held tightly in her hand. Upside looked at his colleague.
“You are the guard…your choice?” he said to the other Templar.
Without saying a word, the guard opened the door and disappeared inside. Alisha shivered as Upside looked at her. He was about to ask if she was okay when Nicholas appeared, looking alarmed. Quickly he stepped down the three stone steps and simply stared at Alisha in silence. Upside frowned, puzzled. Before Nicholas could speak, Alisha pushed past him and stepped up through the door. Upside shrugged his shoulders, confused, as Nicholas followed after her.
Alisha heard Theodoric speaking inside the smaller room to her right, two large burning torches flickering away on either side of the door. Immediately she pushed it open to see him stood looking over several maps with Balian, Brother Teric, Master Jakelin, Ishmael and Stewart. She was confused as to where Tenno was, expecting him to be there; probably with Abi, she assumed. Thomas and Luke were sat at the table showing them various details on the maps. They all looked at her and stopped talking. As she walked toward them, Nicholas rushed in behind her followed by Upside.
“When you leave to search for Paul, unless you take me with you, then I beg one of you take this message to him from me,” she explained and held up the small sealed scroll.
Nicholas looked at Alisha, his eyes searching for some response to his presence. She looked at him briefly, her eyes immediately averting his and toward Stewart.
“Let me take it….please,” Nicholas said, his voice full of pleading emotion. Upside shrugged his shoulders, surprised. “Ali…please.”
Stewart suddenly stormed around the side of the table, angered, pushing Thomas backwards. Theodoric grabbed Stewart, putting his arms around his waist, and struggled to hold him back knocking one of the main lanthorns, Thomas just catching it in time.
“How dare you make such an offer? I have stood these past hours and listened to you help plan this search and I have bitten my lip as I promised my brother I would…but this, no, ’tis wrong for you to do so!” Stewart ranted, his old rage breaking through. Thomas stood himself up and helped Theodoric hold him back. “He is only gone because of you and your self serving actions!”
Alisha’s hand started to shake as she held the scroll up. She took a deep breath and held the scroll higher and looked at Stewart, her eyes narrowing and shaking her head slightly, but enough to infer ‘no’ and he should say no more. But the look on Nicholas’s face told Brother Teric all he needed to know. He looked at Nicholas hard as he held his hands out to her as if to plead for the scroll.
“Stewart,” Alisha said sternly. “’Twas a time when we were in a very similar situation…do you not remember?” she asked and pushed the scroll out toward him. “’Tis not Brother Nicholas who is at fault for it was I who tried to seduce him.”
“You what?” Upside coughed. Nicholas looked at him, then slowly at the others around the table staring at him. Theodoric shook his head.
“Now is not the time for bitter recriminations or blame…we must find Paul. ’Twas madness letting him go,” Theodoric said, trying to calm matters.
“We could not stop him,” Stewart stated angrily.
“I am responsible and I alone. I am guilty for I led Nicholas to my chambers and ’twas I who kissed him.”
“’Twas more than a kiss…far more than we ever did!” Stewart stated through gritted teeth loudly.
“You stupid bastard fool!” Upside said, his tone deliberate and slow. He stepped forward and as Nicholas turned away from Alisha to look at him, Upside swung a powerful punch. Instinctively Nicholas raised his left arm to deflect it, but Upside’s fist still connected with his cheek. “You arse…you utter fucking arse! Have you learnt nothing from me these years?” Upside demanded as Nicholas nearly collapsed to his knees, but with his hand to his face he regained his balance and stood up slowly.
Alisha stepped closer to Upside and with her hands shaking placed her left hand upon his arm and ushered him back a pace shaking her head no to stop him.
“’Tis not him you should be hitting,” she said softly as Upside stared at her.
“No, he has every right, for I have dishonoured not only you, Alisha, myself and my Order…but all of you here, and the trust you had in me,” Nicholas said rubbing his cheek as it started to swell, his left eye already beco
ming bloodshot. “But Ali…you know the kind of man Paul is. You know he would take the scroll from me and know whatever you have written is true.”
“No…I forbid it. ’Tis rubbing salt into his wound. You will stay here whilst I decide your punishment and position within the Order,” Master Jakelin said, shaking his head disapprovingly.
“Master Jakelin, Brother Teric…there is no greater punishment you can inflict upon me than the shame and guilt I carry, for despite what Alisha tells this hour…’Twas I who led events to end in the manner they did,” Nicholas explained and looked at Alisha as tears welled in her eyes. A single tear fell from Nicholas’s rapidly swelling eye. “Master…you either let me do this and commission me with the charge of finding him, or I shall resign from the Order with immediate effect and go regardless. With that or not,” Nicholas explained impassioned and indicated with a nod at the scroll. The room fell silent as they all looked at Master Jakelin and Nicholas. Alisha lowered the scroll, tears in her eyes. Nicholas seeing this, he started to untie his sword belt. Brother Teric frowned at him hard as he untied his fastenings and pulled off his Templar Mantle. “There…’tis done,” he said as he threw the mantle upon the table, the maps blowing to the side as it landed. Nicholas started to refasten his sword around his waist.
“Lord, give me patience,” Upside said aloud, shook his head and started to unfasten his sword belt.
“What are you doing?” Master Jakelin demanded to know.
“If he goes, so must I as who else will look after him?” he answered and started to unfasten his mantle.
“NO! You cannot do this. Too much damage has already been done. If you cannot agree to work together and help find Paul…I shall go alone,” Alisha exclaimed, shaking from head to toe from both desperate emotion and the cold. Nicholas looked at Upside, deeply touched by his gesture but confused.
“I shall also go for I know of no other who tracks better than I…all modesty aside…for this is too important and time is not on our side,” Ishmael said and moved to stand with Nicholas and Upside.
Master Jakelin walked around the table and stood between Alisha and Nicholas, looking at them in turn intently. He put his hands upon his hips and looked at Balian, who shrugged his shoulders.
“Did you consummate fully the act?” he asked bluntly. Alisha’s eyes caught sight of Theodoric as he very slightly shook his head no. Stewart saw him and looked back. Both Alisha and Nicholas shook their heads no. “Then if that is so, there will be no risk of a child and no lasting harm done.”
“What? With all due respect Master, the damage has been done,” Stewart argued.
Master Jakelin walked over to Stewart and looked up at him.
“Brother Stewart…then it is my desire and my wish to make sure there is no further damage done. I cannot afford to lose some of my best men, that includes you…so we do what we as Templars always do,” he said and turned to face everyone. “We stand as always, alone, but together,” Jakelin spoke with authority and then looked at Thomas and Luke. “And you, sirs, you are but truly Knights Templar in all but your attire.”
The door swung open and Percival stepped inside, his face immediately turning to one of surprise. He sensed the tension in the air and looked at Alisha.
“Then please, Master Jakelin…I beg of you allow Nicholas to search for Paul before he becomes lost to us forever,” she pleaded and handed him the sealed scroll. “Please.”
“I can leave several of my men here to cover their absence if that helps,” Balian suggested.
“And what exactly is this,” Master Jakelin asked, taking the scroll.
“’Tis but words imploring his speedy return,” Alisha answered and looked at Nicholas. “And a prayer that he will find it in his heart to forgive us.”
Percival sighed and looked at Alisha and Nicholas, realising and instantly knowing what they had done. He closed his eyes briefly before stepping forwards and indicated for Master Jakelin to pass him the scroll.
“Did you know of this?” Master Jakelin asked, looking at Brother Teric and then Theodoric.
“I have already sworn every profanity known to man, and more to Nicholas. ’Tis true what he said earlier. No punishment we can give him will touch what he already suffers,” Brother Teric replied.
“Then please…,” Percival said calmly and took the scroll from a surprised Master Jakelin. “Here…take this,” he said, immediately handing Nicholas the scroll, who hesitantly looked at it, then up at Stewart and then back to Alisha. “I know Paul probably better than all of you present…so if you want this to mean anything, then it can only come by way of Nicholas.” Alisha placed both her hands to her face as emotion welled inside her. “Stewart…he forgave you of the same did he not?” Stewart reluctantly shook his head yes in agreement. “Then take up this commission with Nicholas and together honour it.”
“Who is actually in charge here?” Master Jakelin asked, bemused, as Nicholas took the scroll in both hands and closed his eyes. “And is there anyone else here who has kissed this woman?”
Thomas stood up fully and slowly moved around the table to stand beside Alisha. Gently he placed his hand upon her shoulder reassuringly.
“She is in charge…,” he stated and smiled. “When two hearts truly become as one, no power on earth or in Heaven can make it become undone! Let us put right that which has become broken…so yes, take this commission, Brother,” he said, turning to look at Nicholas.
Alisha shaking uncontrollably looked at them all in turn, her heart wanting to reach out to all of them in gratitude.
“Then I suggest sleep…for you will all need to leave as the sun breaks before any tracks are ruined,” Brother Teric stated. “Though in this weather you will be hard pressed.”
Nicholas bowed his head and clutched the scroll with both hands to his chest. In silence Master Jakelin left the room staring at Alisha as he passed her. Each in turn silently filed out of the door, Theodoric kissing her on the cheek quickly as he went. Percival backed out of the room and ushered Ishmael out leaving just Alisha, Nicholas and Thomas alone in silence. After a few moments, Thomas indicated to Alisha it was time to leave.
“Go now…rest and know we shall do our best to find him and bring him back,” he said softly and led her to the door. “Go get yourself warmed.”
Alisha nodded silently trying not to cry. She looked once more at Nicholas, his eye half closed from the swelling. ‘Thank you’ he mouthed to her silently. Princess Stephanie appeared stepping into view in the main guard room reception hall and looked at Alisha, puzzled, then at Thomas and Nicholas. Before she could ask what was going on, Thomas closed the door behind Alisha. Slowly he turned and walked over to the table and unfastened his belt, removed his sword and placed it upon the table gently and stood in silence just resting forward upon his hands, his head down low. Nicholas looked at him, puzzled. Thomas sighed heavily and shook his head.
“Are you unwell?” Nicholas asked.
“Oh you have no idea…I am sick all right…sick of this world and I am sick of carrying a love so deep in my heart it kills me daily,” Thomas started to say and stood up straight. He turned his head to look at Nicholas, who in that instant sensed his anger inside, Thomas’s eyes ablaze.
“If you wish to do me harm this hour, I will not fight back.”
“’Tis why I have laid my sword away for I know the anger that burns through me is strong,” Thomas replied as he turned and walked slowly toward him stopping just feet away. “But I know what Percival says makes sense. I also know Alisha has deep feelings for you and would never forgive me for harming you….but if my men learn of this, I cannot be responsible for their actions. They all love her…and I bet not one of them has not fantasised or wished they had her love…but they also respect and admire Paul too much…something you clearly forgot.”
“I did not forget…’tis why I stopped.”
“You stopped! If you did, then you are a far better man than I,” Thomas sneered, fighting to co
ntrol his anger as he stared hard at Nicholas. He stepped closer until they were just inches apart.
“I know you have your arming dagger. Use it if you must and I will gladly take the blade for you really cannot hurt me any more than I am already hurting.”
“So you keep saying…but I am so damn envious of you right now and my heart conflicts with my head…,” Thomas said and stood away from him, quickly clenching his fists. “Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck you again right now,” Thomas swore and shook his head. He rested his hands down upon the table again and looked at the maps still left open. “When my men and I left our homes, ’twas after one of our seers, some called him the last Druid, told us we would find a just and worthy cause in the Holy Land. But he warned us not to align ourselves to any one lord, king or side, for one day we would find a true king…a king who would lead, not dictate…but he would have a real queen. Not some inherited, swapped, bartered, negotiated or murdered for throne queen,” Thomas explained then stood up to face Nicholas again. “There were seventy-two of us who started that journey. Just eleven of us now remain, save Percival who joined us. ’Twas only when I saw Alisha and Paul that I knew we had found what we were looking for, only after we had stopped looking.”
“And what else did your seer tell you?”
“That we would be known as an army of kings one day for the sacrifices we would make…and for our trust, integrity and honour. Maintaining that has been nigh impossible…but Alisha and Paul, they gave us that example…and now if my men know of what has happened, it would crush their long held faith.”
“But surely, knowing we controlled ourselves and stopped…does that not count as a better demonstration of her virtue?” Nicholas asked defensively.
“You and I both know what you really did and how far you really went,” Thomas stated and rapidly stepped even closer to Nicholas again. “Pray the seed of your loins did not spill within her…”
“May the Lord strike me dead for I swear that did not happen.”