Outremer III

by D. N. Carter

  “You, my friend…you will now only need to learn the language…well done!” Thomas said and patted Nicholas hard on the arm. “Very well done.”

  “But…but I did…,” Nicholas started to explain.

  “You did well and all that was required of you…and more, Nicholas…do you understand me?” Abi asked. Puzzled he looked at her intently. “Now go, clean up and rest,” she ordered. Stewart acknowledged Nicholas and bowed his head to him. As Upside led Nicholas away, Tenno stood close beside Abi. “’Tis perhaps best you ask me later…if you can handle me again,” she said and smiled at Tenno. He took her hand and held it tightly.

  Inside Alisha’s chambers, Sister Lucy ushered Ailia into her side room to get her properly prepared for the day but she was so excited she was jumping up and down and all over the room. Sister Lucy quietly closed the adjoining door. Alisha stood nervously beside the large window as Paul removed his heavy fur lined cloak and placed it upon the bed. Alisha fiddled with her fingers and bit her bottom lip as she always did when nervous or apprehensive.

  “Are…are we okay?” she finally asked. “And do you,” she paused and took a deep breath. “Do you forgive me?”

  Paul walked over to her and clasped her hands in his. He looked into her beautiful eyes full of emotion and he simply wished to kiss and hold her again, but he knew that it would be some time before he could again, for to do so now seemed somehow wrong. He wanted to hold her again when she was ready and wanted him. As she looked at him, she wanted to show her love, but she did not know if he wanted her still that way after having lain with Nicholas.

  “My dear Ali…’tis I who should be asking for forgiveness. Look what I have put us through…and Arri…,” Paul said, his voice calm and reasoned.

  Alisha ran her hand through his hair and looked at him. It was Paul but somehow he seemed so different at the same time, and it was not just his beard.

  “Forgive you…I have said the cruellest of things and done the worst of things to you, yet you ask for my forgiveness,” she remarked as a tear ran down her cheek. “You are the noblest and kindest person I know…and… and…”

  “The only cruel thing you could do to me, is if you stopped loving me.”

  “Never!” she replied instantly.

  “I know this all seems and feels a little awkward, and we shall have to talk through all of what has happened, in time…but know this too. Tenno once told me that in his country, when something is broken, they do not throw it away or replace it…they repair it but they also fill the cracks with gold in reverence to it. We may feel awkward now…but if you feel just half of what I feel, we shall be okay.” Paul looked at her intently. Her almost white flawless skin, her eyes open wide searching his. “And I burnt all the parchments,” he stated, realising he had not informed her.

  Suddenly Alisha clasped her hands around Paul’s face and kissed him, her lips pressing firmly against his. He raised his hands to hold hers and kissed her back. Her heart pounding, after a minute she pulled away breathless and looked into his eyes searching his every thought.

  “And as Sister Lucy told me,” Alisha said still short of breath. “What comes easy won’t last…and what lasts won’t come easy.”

  “Amen to that,” Paul replied and held her in his arms tightly. He kissed the side of her head, just seeing the small scar still visible upon her neck. ‘Thank you, Lord,’ he said to himself and hugged her even tighter and just held her.

  Port of La Rochelle, France, Melissae Inn, spring 1191

  “Is Paul not being too needy or too forgiving?” Ayleth asked.

  “Some will say that…but true love, not the romantic idealistic love you hear of in songs and poems, especially those of the travelling troubadours, but real genuine belonging love, it does conquer all and do not let anyone tell you otherwise,” the old man answered.

  “What did Reynald have to say to Paul’s return then?” Gabirol asked.

  “He was still away, staying mainly in Montreal and raiding Muslim caravans. But he would be back in time for the fall of the first weeks of the New Year. That was something Paul was uncomfortable about and wished to make plans to travel back to France with his family as expediently as possible.”

  3 - 3

  “And what of Nicholas?” Sarah asked.

  “He was accepted back into his Order by Brother Teric with open arms. And with hostilities increasing daily with Saladin, thanks to Reynald, he, along with Stewart, Brother Upside and most of the other Templars, was ordered to return to Jerusalem.”

  “Where was Master Jakelin at this time?” Gabirol asked, puzzled.

  “He had already left for Jerusalem along with Lord Balian.”

  “But all the time Paul was away…you say you do not know what happened or what he learnt?” Peter asked.

  “No for he never spoke of it nor wrote it within his journal…save the few lines as explained about the new Order. But he was most definitely somehow different.”

  “Where was Percival when Paul returned?” the Templar asked.

  “Percival…he had set out alone to search for Paul by travelling south. It was a dangerous thing to do, but he felt certain Paul was that way. And strangely enough he did find the old, but empty and long since disused, cave dwelling on Jabal Al Lawz that Kratos and Paul had used…it would be several days before Percival returned to Kerak,” the old man explained.

  “So, Percival, by whatever means finds Paul’s location, but he is not there… and yet by the time scales involved, Percival would have been there when Paul was there…but he wasn’t no?” Gabirol quizzed.

  “Maybe they were there but in a different time or realm as has been explained… yes?” Simon remarked. Sarah looked at him, surprised, but then nodded in agreement with him.

  “As I have said…he never explained nor revealed exactly what happened,” the old man answered.

  “I bet it was a Christmas little Ailia would not forget?” Miriam said and squeezed the Templar’s hand.

  “The best present she wanted was back with them. That was the only present she had prayed and wished for at the end of her bed every night…watched by Alisha, her heart breaking every time she saw her do it. Later that Christmas Day, Paul gave Alisha a small simple white gold pendant to attach to her small Mother Goddess pendant she still wore. ’Twas like a figure of eight symbol representing infinity… and he spoke freely and openly of Arri just as he had been advised to by Kratos.”

  “Did Paul return to the marital bed?” Ayleth asked, curious.

  “Yes he did…and as personal as it may sound, they did not resume physical intimacy. ’Twas agreed that it would prove later she was not with child, but also, there was an unspoken agreement between them, that the time was not right…but the closeness they shared as they simply held each other and talked was on a far deeper level of intimacy than they had ever experienced before. As ridiculous as this may sound, when twin flames reunite, the ‘one soul’ vibrational alignment is the ultimate joining of two people. It is and was in essence what the mystics would call the perfect ‘Alchemical Marriage’ because of the reunification of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine in perfect harmony. Paul had learnt this was possible from what Kratos had taught him and his gift to Alisha, the figure eight of eternal union, it being the perfect symbol representing this Divine Reunion of equilibrium. The purity of ‘one soul’ essence at peace and home with the divine source of all,” the old man explained.

  “That is beautiful,” Miriam remarked and smiled at the Templar as he pulled her close and kissed her softly on her shoulder.

  “But Alisha still made love to Nicholas. I find that too much to forgive,” Peter remarked.

  “Let me explain this as best as I am able without sounding crude or embarrassing our ladies here,” the old man said and paused as he sat himself up again. “The physical act of joining, is just that…physical penetrative sex, which ultimately is in itself very superficial. But deep emotional penetration of the heart, that is lov
e… which is far more significant and beautiful…and yet even deeper and further still is the third kind of penetration, that of when two consciousnesses meet, merge and truly become as one,” the old man explained and looked at all of them in turn. ’Twas that third stage Alisha and Paul shared.”

  They all sat in silence for a few short moments pondering the old man’s words, Miriam smiling and holding the Templar’s hand tightly as he smiled back at her.

  “So Paul decided it was time to return to France…back to here no?” the Genoese sailor asked, breaking the silence, and looked around the room indicating with his opened hands.

  “Yes, that was the plan,” the old man replied.

  “But I fear all did not go to plan?” Gabirol remarked.

  “Not quite,” the old man sighed.

  Crac de Moab, Oultrajordain, Kingdom of Jerusalem, January 6th 1187

  Alisha, Paul and Ailia had spent the last few days mainly alone as they talked through all that had happened to them and about Arri. The weather had been unseasonably harsh with snow and constant hail, the roads turning into quagmires that limited the activities of the knights and pilgrims. Percival returned in time for the New Year, but celebrations were very restricted with concerns over a coming all out war with Saladin rumoured everywhere. When Paul greeted him, they said nothing, just embraced with a hug and acknowledged each other. Time to discuss what had happened was not necessary between them. Nicholas had spent the time recovering and observing his daily prayers and vespers with a renewed sense of purpose and kept mainly out of the way of Alisha and Paul out of respect. The 6th of January was their wedding anniversary, a fact not lost on all present, but rather than keep the day quiet, Theodoric had organised a surprise celebration for them that evening.

  The main stone vaulted banquet hall was lit by many candles and lanthorns. Several large torches flickered their light across the main stained glass window, whilst a large fire blazed away in the main ornate open fire place. The fine drapery and tapestries hanging from the walls added to a sense of warmth and comfort. A large table ran the length of the hall, with Princess Stephanie stood at the head waiting for Theodoric to bring in Alisha and Paul. They had prepared a large feast and surprise for them and even Thomas and his men had all turned out in their finest robes. A very much recovered Nicholas stood with Upside and Brother Teric whilst Sister Lucy hurriedly finished off the centre table presentation of a sword set between two large branches taken from a bush grown within the castle’s own allotment. Several maids busied themselves finishing off the table. The main double doors opened slightly as Theodoric peered inside. Princess Stephanie smiled and nodded at him all was ready. Tenno and Percival stepped into the hall and held the two doors open as Theodoric led Alisha and Paul in, their eyes shut. Paul held Ailia in his left arm, but she had her eyes wide open in anticipation. Abi walked in behind them as Theodoric led them to the far end of the table where two high back chairs had been placed side by side. Sister Lucy helped Alisha to sit down, still with her eyes shut, as Theodoric took Ailia and sat Paul down.

  “You can open them now,” Princess Stephanie said aloud from the opposite end of the table.

  Ailia giggled as Alisha and Paul opened their eyes to see the hall and prepared table. Both smiled and looked at each other when a side door opened and Stewart backed out of the kitchen area carrying a large tray of food. As he approached, he smiled at them both.

  “I never got to attend your wedding day or give you a suitable present, so this eve, and as it is your wedding anniversary, we all gather to give thanks for your return and to celebrate you as a family,” Stewart commented and placed the tray down in front of them. “And we have some gifts to bestow upon you,” he smiled and stood up straight and took Ailia’s little hand and pulled her close as Thomas and his men all filed past and formed up in a long line. They turned their backs to them and started to pull up their cloaks. “Theodoric has a few words to say to you.”

  Theodoric walked around the table to stand beside Thomas, the only one still looking at Alisha and Paul. He clasped his hands together and looked awkward, unusual for him. Sister Lucy winked at him. He coughed and cleared his throat.

  “Erm…well, where to begin? First of all we must thank Princess Stephanie for allowing us to use this great hall,” he said as she bowed her head slightly and smiled at him. “I had a great speech all worked out but I am afraid that has gone out of that window,” he started to explain, Ailia looking over to the window. “Much has happened over the past few years and we have all experienced many things…but today, we would like to honour the two people who have without doubt touched and influenced all of us in this room in ways they cannot fully imagine, nor in fact even fathom.” Alisha looked across at Nicholas. He smiled and nodded at her. She squeezed Paul’s hand tightly and looked back at Theodoric. “You have both taught us so much about ourselves and it is impossible to put a value upon that or ever say thank you enough. You have given us purpose, direction, wise council and guidance in matters we can never hope to fully understand….and…and…”

  “What he is trying to say is,” Thomas interjected and moved forwards, “we owe you more than we can repay. Not in trinkets, gold or material wealth, but with a priceless treasure that beats in all our hearts. You give us hope.”

  Alisha looked down in sorrow feeling like a fraud almost. Paul took her hand in his.

  “Ali…look up. There is nothing to feel ashamed of here in this company,” Paul whispered.

  With tears welling in her eyes, she looked up at Thomas again and feigned a smile.

  “But what this old sentimental fool beside me does not realise or appreciate is that it was all down to him, that very first meeting we had and the many subsequent ones where he has almost bored us to death with his teachings,” Thomas explained and put his arm around Theodoric, who looked surprised. “This old ‘fat’ man here is the reason we are all together. I think no one would disagree with that?” Paul stood up and nodded his head in agreement. Sister Lucy put her hand to her mouth emotionally seeing how Theodoric was taken aback by his comments. “I am sure Alisha and Paul will not be offended if we make this also a celebration for him. He has taught us so much…and, as we are an army of kings as he keeps telling us…then an army needs a banner…its own sigil or emblem.”

  Upon those words, starting with Luke, then Mathew, followed by the rest of Thomas’s men, they all started to remove their upper clothing until just their shirts remained.

  “Hey, old, fair enough…but fat, no…and please do not expose your backsides and declare a full moon emblem, I pray not!” Theodoric joked but was clearly emotional.

  “No…’tis the emblem you have upon your back and as Upside also has,” Thomas explained. All of them then pulled their shirts up over their heads to reveal they all now had the same tattoo across their shoulders and down their backs of the tree-winged sword image. Beautifully executed with green, black and blue inks they all looked perfect. Theodoric gasped in surprise. For several moments he stood speechless, tears welling in his eyes. “Theo, lost for words for once?” Thomas laughed.

  Slowly Theodoric walked along the line of men, looking at their tattoos, shaking his head, overwhelmed with the gesture. Sister Lucy walked over to him and held his hand as he could not speak. Alisha looked at the sword set in the middle of the table with the tree branches set either side mimicking the tattoo image.

  “Well it looks like I will need a new bigger one doing now,” Upside stated, breaking the silence in the room.

  “In time, we shall have a small emblem placed above them denoting our origins…our homeland as you likewise have that small red flag upon yours,” Thomas remarked to Theodoric.

  “And…and you have this tattoo also?” Theodoric asked Thomas emotionally.

  “Of course. Who do think went first?” Thomas answered and turned his back to him and pulled up his shirt to reveal his tattoo.

  “An army of kings,” Paul commented as he started to walk along
the line. As he passed them, they each turned around to face him.

  “Aye…,” Thomas replied. “And we are your army…to serve you and protect you wherever you decide to go.”

  Alisha cupped her hands over her mouth deeply touched by his words and their actions but also painfully embarrassed.

  “Does that make me a princess?” Ailia asked excitedly, looking up at Stewart.

  Princess Stephanie walked around the table and knelt beside Alisha and took her hand.

  “An army of kings indeed,” she said softly and smiled at her. “And you as their queen.”

  “And these tattoos are a permanent reminder to each of us never to fail you again as we did with Arri,” Thomas said and stood up straight.

  “This is not right,” Alisha replied emotionally, shaking her head no. “This is your castle, your kingdom and I am not worthy of this, any of this. You all honour me too much…for I am no queen.”

  “Oh my dear girl, you are so much more worthy than this. This, this is all just stone…cold stone at that. I am no queen, and never will be, but you,” Princess Stephanie said and paused. “You always have been a queen…you just never realised it, but now you must acknowledge it.”

  “A queen of hearts for sure,” Nicholas whispered, Upside immediately elbowing him in his side and grinning.

  “I say we eat and drink…,” Percival said loudly and closed the main doors. As Thomas and his men started to cover themselves, Theodoric playfully punched Thomas muttering comments about old men and not to call him fat. “Are you okay?” Percival asked as he walked past Nicholas.