Outremer III

by D. N. Carter

  Master Roger shook his head no at him.

  “’Tis a debate we have oft argued over…but Master Douglas here served with your father a long time ago but left to serve alongside Brother Elek,” Master Roger explained as he sat himself down.

  “But you knew my mother too?” Paul asked looking back at Master Douglas.

  “Yes. She captured the heart of many a man, including mine. Do not take offence or insult for I loved your mother dearly. I always have and always shall…and Brother Elek, you do understand and realise he knowingly came to your aid that day?”

  “None taken,” Paul replied and sat down. His mind raced with a hundred questions why his father had never mentioned him before. It almost infuriated him that yet again he was learning something new about his father’s past. Perhaps the fault was his own? he wondered thinking back upon the many times his father had asked him to join in discussions about his past but he had refused preferring to be outside playing or making boats. Then the words started to sink in about Brother Elek. Slowly he looked up at Master Douglas.

  “What do you mean he came knowingly?”

  “He knew his time would end if he came to warn you about that arse Turansha…but he swore to us your mother had visited him in a dream and asked him to intervene…which I am pleased to see he did and consequently you stand before me alive and well. It validated what Elek believed,” Master Douglas explained.

  Paul immediately thought back upon when he believed he had seen and spoken with his mother and Elek in a dream state. A lump swelled in his throat as he recalled both that meeting and when Elek was killed beside him. Knowing that he had deliberately come to his aid knowing he would be killed filled Paul with a sense of guilt but deep appreciation at the same time.

  “So despite all you have seen and learnt, you do not believe in a God?” Paul asked as his mind fought to make sense of what he was hearing from this tall and enigmatic man sat before him.

  “I did not say I do not believe in a God. ’Tis the only one single factor I consider in all matters…what I do not believe in is religion. There is a massive difference. I understand how religion is used to convey codes and meanings…but I believe there is a better way. ’Tis a matter I have discussed many times with Master Roger here and previously with your very own father. ’Tis that contention between us that separates us,” Master Douglas said and gave a reassuring smile that solicited trust as he leaned forward and clasped his hands together. “Your father taught me one valuable lesson that has always stayed with me…one he claims he was told by a wise man who could grow no beard, make of that what you will, in a great land across the western sea.”

  “I am intrigued. What did he teach you?” Paul asked.

  “Your father told me the last time I ever saw him that we all have two sides to our natures, our very souls. He likened them to two hungry wolves of which only one can win dominance,” Master Douglas said and smiled as he rubbed his large hands together. Paul looked at him intently, trying to work out roughly how old he was. At least in his middle fifties he thought despite still having a full head of white hair that grew downward to a point in the middle of his forehead. “One wolf is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is good, full of joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth.”

  “And which wolf wins?” Paul asked.

  “Whichever one you feed the most,” Master Douglas replied and sat back up straight and looked at Paul in silence for a few minutes. “Now hear me, young Paul…you do not need religion to have morals…if you cannot determine what is right and wrong from what is within you, then you lack empathy. Morality is always doing what is right no matter what you are told or what your religion is. Unquestioning blind faith religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right. And the principal enemy of progress against advancement to lay fair and just laws, reduce the reasons for war, is religion. What of a God that tells me how to raise my own family, to exercise patience and tolerance yet hypercritically loses both and proceeds to then drown out his own creation and then again destroys them by fire and brimstone. ’Tis not so much God I have a problem with…’tis his followers in whatever form they kill and destroy in his name. We are all born as an unwritten book, our pages empty and naturally atheist at heart. Then religion steps in and fills the pages to the point we can longer read our own lives. And faith…’tis just a blind excuse to opt out of any personal responsibility for one’s actions and to evade the hard work of thinking and evaluating what everything in life is about. Religion is sadly too oft used by men in power to oppress the populace to the point whereby it becomes a self perpetuating lie that leads to many oppressing themselves willingly. Life has taught me that as long as men are willing to kill and maim in the name of their religion or god, then we shall all never know a world of true peace and without war! That much I do know of this world.”

  “You see why I wished for you two to meet,” Master Roger laughed.

  “Most people find Master Douglas intimidating and offensive in his views yet you laughed.”

  Paul nodded yes then looked at Master Douglas as he smiled broadly.

  “’Tis refreshing to see…and so like your father, though you do have your mother’s eyes,” Master Douglas replied.

  “I suspect you do not make your views known to many?” Paul remarked.

  “Oh he does and without reservation,” Master Roger answered. “He is lucky not to have been tried for heresy on many an occasion. Master Douglas here, like your father and Firgany, has tried to bring forward an attitude of openness and learning not restricted by dogma and fear…but all it did was put their lives in jeopardy. ’Tis a hard lesson to learn that most people simply do not wish to question too much that which they are told, especially by a God they have been told since birth is infallible.”

  “Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed by the masses,” Master Douglas said quietly and shrugged his shoulders.

  “That is very profound. I must remember that,” Paul remarked.

  “They are not my words but those of the Greek named Plato. You can learn much if you read his works,” Master Douglas replied and winked.

  “Ah, I have his works my father left to me but I confess I have not read much,” Paul explained. He thought for a moment upon Master Douglas’s previous comments. “But your statement earlier that you do not believe in a God per se…how do you balance that with everyday life?”

  “’Tis simple for as I said, I do not believe in a hypercritical God who sits upon a white cloud and looks down upon us daily ruling us by fear…that rule and that fear is made by men who interpret the ancient scriptures then twist them to suit their own desires and cravings for control and power. That at least your father and I always agreed upon. But I do believe in the divine love of a greater consciousness…that our souls are indeed spiritual. I only ever ask people if they believe in a higher purpose…and to help others without expecting reward,” Master Douglas said and leaned forward looking at Paul intently as if studying every reaction in his eyes and face.

  “Then what was it that you did not agree upon?” Paul asked, not moving his gaze from him.

  “Your father believed, probably still does, that all of us are made up of good and evil equally, very similar to what I say about the two wolves within us…but I believe that some people…they are just pure evil through and through. That they have a soul that has never developed beyond service to self with no understanding or empathy. They are the type you cannot reason with no matter what ideology or logic you use…”

  “Ah…as my father once told me, morals are wasted on the immoral?” Paul remarked.

  “Oh…so perhaps your father has changed since last we met for that is a statement he would have never used before.”

  “I know that some people do bad things due to their own physical ailments… nothing to do with their soul,” Paul said as he re
called the Bull’s Head man he had killed years previously.

  “Perhaps…but a person like Turansha…his soul is truly dark,” Master Douglas said and stood up. He smiled broadly and offered his hand for Paul to shake. “It has been a genuine pleasure to meet you. I hope we shall become better acquainted whilst you stay here.”

  Paul stood up and shook his hand.

  “A strong firm grip just like your father. But now I must bid you all goodnight,” Master Douglas said and nodded at Master Roger. He nodded back in acknowledgment.

  “I look forward to further discussions with you. You bring a refreshing new attitude to things that interest me,” Paul replied as Brother Douglas broke his handshake and opened the door.

  “You have not heard anything yet…trust me,” he smiled as he winked at Master Roger.

  Paul turned to face Master Roger as Master Douglas left the room and closed the door quietly behind him.

  “An interesting and formidable character I think you will agree?” Master Roger said and offered Paul to sit down. “Now I understand we need plan to get you and your family out and away from the madness that is rapidly engulfing these lands. So please, sit and I will see how best we can do this with what few men I have left at my disposal.”

  “You need not have to. I have Thomas and his men, plus Abi, Tenno, Ishmael and Percival. But why do you have so few men?”

  “Because King Guy has ordered all knights and Orders to muster here. We as an Order are under obligation to oblige his said arriere ban. But you and your family, you need to be away from here…and you know full well why so I need not spell it out do I?” Master Roger explained and looked up at him. Paul was not sure if he was referring to his friendship with him and his father or the claimed fact that he and Alisha were of a certain bloodline. Either way, if he could help secure a safer passage for him and his family, he was more than willing and happy to accept it whatever the reasoning. Master Roger could see Paul was thinking and taking his time to respond. “Crimson Thread!” he stated and raised his eyebrows then smiled.

  It was early morning when Paul found his way to where Alisha and Ailia had been put up. Brother Teric led him to their room on the third floor of the Templars’ headquarters. Princess Stephanie, who refused to stay in the royal suit within the other quarter, had been given the room beside theirs and Tenno and Abi a smaller room opposite so he could be near. Ishmael, Percival, Thomas and his men had all been bunked in a separate empty billet. As Paul had followed Brother Teric it felt strange to be back within the headquarters again. He felt heartened that Master Roger would be assisting him to get his family back to France. His stomach rumbled and he realised he had not eaten anything since his arrival.

  “Thank you for escorting me. I had hoped to see Taqi again but I understand he sleeps well at the moment,” Paul said quietly as Brother Teric indicated which room to enter. The door opposite opened slightly and Tenno peered out from the darkness. He recognised them and nodded very slightly before closing the door again quietly.

  “Does that man ever sleep?” Brother Teric whispered and smiled. Paul smiled back and shook his head no. “’Tis a pity you cannot stay with us, my friend, for we are in sore need of men of your calibre. I would be honoured to serve beside you.”

  Paul looked at him, surprised and touched by his sincere remark.

  “If I did not have family here with a mad man out there somewhere who wishes us all dead, then I would stay…and the honour would be mine I assure you,” Paul replied then looked down at his Templar mantle. “This I am afraid I must return to your Master for I shall have no further need of it.”

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  “No…keep it. As a memento of your brief time within our Order. I am sure your father would approve. Something to tell your grandchildren one day eh?” Brother Teric said quietly and put his hand upon Paul’s shoulder. “You embody everything a true Templar aspires to be. You have even taught me things I never even considered. So thank you.”

  Paul did not know what to say and was unaware that Alisha saw and heard all that was spoken between them as she looked through the door peep hole having heard them arrive unable to sleep wondering where he was. She looked at Paul dressed in his Templar mantle and armour. She had always thought how handsome and brave Nicholas had looked in his uniform, but now as she looked at Paul, her heart burst with pride and sorrow at the same time. He stood tall and upright. The light cast from the few small oil lamps set within the tiny alcoves along the corridor made him look older and tired, she thought. She would never forgive herself for what she had done with Nicholas but she would try to regain Paul’s trust no matter how long it may take, she swore to herself. Paul looked her way sensing her presence. He saw the small peep hole was open but as the room inside was dark he could not see her face. She stepped back a pace but then closed the small slide cover and quietly opened the door. Wearing a long dark blue night robe, she hid herself behind the door so they could only see her face as she looked at them. She smiled as they both acknowledged her.

  “Go, my friend, and rest,” Brother Teric whispered and ushered him toward the door just as Princess Stephanie opened her door. She bowed her head at them.

  “I heard talking. Sorry if I have interrupted,” she explained quietly as she fastened the bow around her waist tightly, the cream night gown hanging close to her figure.

  “’Tis only us, My Lady. Apologies for disturbing you this late hour,” Brother Teric said and looked at her. To him she was all and everything in a woman he had ever dreamt of. He held his gaze until she lowered her eyes, embarrassed. “My Lady…I am so sorry for I stare,” he quickly said and started to back away. He smiled at Paul and raised his hand. “I shall see you in the morrow,” he said and turned his back, walked a few paces then stopped. Quickly he turned around and walked back. “My Lady, I am so sorry I have lost all manners this eve. Forgive me.”

  “Brother Teric…do not be so silly. I disturbed you. Goodnight…all of you,” Princess Stephanie replied and stepped back into her chambers. Her eyes met Paul’s briefly. Alisha stretched out her hand and grabbed Paul’s hand. “Goodnight.”

  Brother Teric stood and stared at the door as she shut it. He turned to face Paul and laughed quietly embarrassed as Paul shook his head and smiled. Quickly Brother Teric turned and walked away down the corridor briskly shaking his head to himself.

  “That man is so in love with her,” Alisha whispered and pulled Paul into the room. “Just as this woman loves this man,” she said, leaned up and softly kissed him upon the lips. The room was dark save the early morning light just making its presence felt through the spaces between the wooden shutters. Ailia was asleep in the small bed set in the far corner of the room.

  “Taqi…how is he?” Paul whispered as soon as she broke the kiss and looked up at him, her arms wrapped around him.

  “He is fine and Attar remains by his side. But how are you for we have not had any time alone since your arrival?”

  “I am fine…especially knowing you and Ailia are safe.”

  “For now,” Alisha stated and pulled Paul closer, resting her head upon his chest. “I cannot ever express or show you how much I love you, Paul,” she said softly, her voice emotional. Paul smelt her hair as he always did savouring the familiar scent. He kissed the side of her head and put his arms around her and closed his eyes and they stood holding each other.

  “You know I have learnt that grief is the price we pay for loving…my love for Arri was so strong, the grief I feel inside will never fade,” Paul whispered as tiredness started to overwhelm him as he held Alisha. Just her physical presence beside him gave him a sense of calmness he could never feel anywhere else. She squeezed him tightly. “I love you and Ailia so much too that God forbid anything happens to you, the grief alone by equal measure to that love would kill me.”

  “Please, Paul…do not say such things. I need you to always live…no matter what happens to us. When we get home,” Alisha said softly and paused, laughing to her
self at the realisation she had called La Rochelle home. “When…we get home we shall set up a light upon the point to remember our Arri.”

  Port of La Rochelle, France, Melissae Inn, spring 1191

  “Ah I really feel for Brother Teric. Unrequited love eh?” Sarah interrupted the old man.

  “And unrequited love for Count Henry remember,” Simon stated, recalling what the old man had explained much earlier in his tale.

  “You have a remarkable memory, Simon,” the old man smiled. “But yes, unrequited love for him too with his love for Isabella, the sister of Queen Sibylla.”

  “What purpose did Master Roger have in introducing Paul to Master Douglas save the obvious fact he once knew his father?” Gabirol asked.

  “Paul’s father was not infallible shall we say…and Master Douglas knowing of Paul’s presence requested the meeting. It was Master Douglas who had argued with Paul’s father that there must be a better way to carry the secrets and codes other than the purely military arm of the higher initiates of the Templars. His fear being what if they were all killed in service?…but also because it restricted other men who perhaps were better minded and suited to carry the information. At the time Philip was more than a little over protective in the codes being held purely by men of military prowess and might. ’Twas the main contentious issue between them,” the old man explained.

  “But is that not the very same thing Paul now advocates and spoke of with his father, who seemed to agree with him?” Peter asked.

  “That is so…for Philip had changed much himself. ’Tis why he agreed the time had come to form a new order of architects, builders and Masons who would be entrusted with the secrets…’twas Master Douglas who inscribed upon a stone tablet at Balantrodach…‘and the nine shall remain hidden until the time awakens them. Then will man know of their great deeds’.”