by E. L. Todd
“Your chance?” she asked incredulously. “Aren’t you already sleeping together?”
“No…it’s complicated.”
“Fine. Whatever.” She flicked her hair over one shoulder. “Hope you score.” She walked out.
I put the groceries in the refrigerator then attempted to cook something. When I tried cooking chicken, it burned and was a total disaster. Thankfully, I had frozen lasagna in the freezer. I transferred everything to a regular pan so it looked homemade. Beatrice wouldn’t know the difference.
Beatrice walked inside a few hours later. “What smells so good?” She took off her jacket then left it over the back of a chair.
“Lasagna. I hope you’re hungry.”
“I’m hungry for something that smells that great.” She walked into the kitchen and looked into the pan. “You made this?” she asked in surprise.
“For the most part…”
She smiled. “Frozen lasagna?”
“I tried cooking but it didn’t come out good.”
“Awe.” She squeezed my arm then dropped her embrace. “This is fine, Conrad. I’ll cook tomorrow.”
“Ooh…I look forward to it.”
She served the lasagna and handed me a plate. Then she made her own. After we had our food and water, we sat at my kitchen table. She crossed her legs and ate like she did in a restaurant.
Staring across at her gave me a weird sensation. She and I acted like we’d done this a million times before. We were so comfortable around each other that everything flowed just right. She was staying with me at my apartment and it wasn’t awkward at all.
She looked around my living room. “Was it this clean before?”
“Uh…I tidied up a bit.” I shrugged it off.
She looked down at the table. “I can see my reflection.”
“I’m thorough,” I said with a laugh.
“Well, you did a great job.”
“Thanks.” I scarfed down my lasagna then had another piece.
“I’m hungry too,” she said. She only ate three quarters of her plate.
“I can tell,” I said sarcastically.
“Don’t tease me,” she said with a laugh.
“Too late.” I wiped my plate clean then released a satisfied sigh.
“Since you cooked, I’ll clean.”
“No,” I said immediately. “I didn’t even cook. I just threw something in the oven.”
“Fine. Let’s clean up together.”
That was a reasonable compromise.
We headed into the kitchen then washed the dishes and the counter. I splashed a little water on her and she screamed. Then she got me back, but only because I let her. When we were drying everything, the fight died down. She watched me out of the corner of her eye then smirked at me mischievously. I smiled back then nudged her in the side teasingly. She chuckled then stacked the dishes in the cupboard.
“What should we watch tonight?” I asked as I headed back to the living room.
“Something funny.”
“Well, I’m a comedy aficionado.”
“Then what do you recommend?” She sat on the couch then crossed her legs.
I sat right beside her. “How about stand-up comedy?”
“I like stand-up.”
I found something then played it on the TV.
She laughed while she rested her hands in her lap. Whenever a particularly good joke came on, she laughed so hard she snorted.
My head snapped in her direction. “Did you just snort?”
She laughed so hard her eyes were tearing up. “Don’t judge me.”
Her laugh was so hilarious that it was funnier than the joke. “My god, you’re cute.”
She wiped the tears from her eyes then calmed down. “My friends always tease me for sounding ridiculous when I laugh.”
“Add me to that list of friends,” I teased.
She swatted my arm playfully.
I put my arm over the back of the couch automatically, my arm touching her shoulders. I didn’t think about it before I did it. It was impulsive. Fortunately, Beatrice didn’t react.
As the show progressed, Beatrice moved closer to me then leaned her head against my shoulder. “Thanks for making me feel better. When I’m with you, I forget about the pain.” It was such a serious thing to say during such a fun time.
“When I’m with you, I forget about everything too.” I leaned toward her and gave her a serious look.
She looked back at me but her eyes were unreadable. She glanced at my lips then looked away.
Did she want me to kiss her? I wish I could tell.
Beatrice turned back to the TV and acted like we didn’t just have a moment.
I guess the answer to that was no.
When it was late, my eyes started to grow heavy. “I think it’s time for bed.”
She yawned loudly. “I think you’re right.”
Would she sleep with me again tonight? I hoped so. “I can sleep on the couch.” I thought it was best not to make assumptions.
“No, it’s okay.” She headed into my bedroom then closed the door. I assumed she was changing so I stayed in the living room. When my bedroom door cracked open, I knew I was allowed to enter.
Beatrice was wearing one of my t-shirts and it stretched to her knees. I knew she was wearing my shorts underneath, but seeing her in my shirt like that was the biggest turn on in the world. Forget porn and strippers.
“Is this okay?” she asked. She was probably caught off guard by the dreamy look on my face.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” I said quickly. I pulled off my shirt then removed my jeans.
“I’m going to brush my teeth and get ready for bed.” She walked into the bathroom and left the door open.
I came in behind her, just standing in my boxers.
Her hair was in a bun and she was brushing her teeth. Her eyes glanced to my chest but quickly looked away.
I grabbed my toothbrush and did my nighttime ritual alongside her.
Her eyes smiled when she looked at me in the mirror. I smiled back in the reflection. When she spit, hardly anything came out. She did everything gracefully, like she had no flaws or bad habits.
I finished brushing my teeth then washed my face.
Beatrice did the same then patted her skin dry. When her skin was absent of make up, she looked just as beautiful. Actually, I thought she looked better. Her eyes were brighter and her skin was flawless.
When we returned to the bedroom, Beatrice sank under the covers. “Your bed is comfortable.”
“Thanks. I like it.” I got in beside her and left the covers at my waist, exposing my chest and stomach. I was a little warm.
She stayed on her side of the bed.
I didn’t go near her, trying to feel her out first.
What the hell was going on? We did everything together, we ate together, we watched TV together…and now we slept together. That meant we were together, right?
Beatrice turned on her side and faced me. Her brown hair was scattered across my pillow. She looked like a vision, a fantasy. I’d give anything to be on top of her and press my mouth against hers.
It took all my strength to stay on this side of the bed. I just wanted to hold her in my arms. I’d become more obsessed the longer I was around her. Everything about her fascinated me. Now I needed her in a way I couldn’t explain. She was an innate part of me, something I couldn’t live without. I didn’t understand my emotions because I didn’t understand our relationship, but I knew I needed her in my life to be happy.
I couldn’t take the distance anymore. I scooted to the center of the bed then pulled her close to me. I got bold and grabbed her leg then pulled it over my hip. Then I hooked my arm around her waist, anchoring me to her. “That’s better…”
Beatrice stared at me before she rested her hand against my bare chest. Her fingers trailed over the skin lightly, gently touching me.
I knew she liked my physique. There was no way she didn’t. I’d seen
her sneak glances at me once in a while. She tried to seem indifferent but I knew it was an act. She was physically attracted to me like I was to her. And she was emotionally attracted to me too. She seemed to do a better job of controlling the first one, not so much the second. She and I were inseparable, and it seemed like we would never really be just friends. At least that’s how I felt. I never wanted to be just her friend. I wanted a lot more.
Beatrice closed her eyes, and a quiet moan escaped her lips. I’d grown accustomed to the nighttime noises she made in bed. That particular sound usually meant she was tired but didn’t want to go to sleep.
I stared at her beautiful face and my eyes lingered on her lips. They were so full and alluring. I imagined how they would feel against my mouth. They would be soft and warm, making me melt and shake at the same time. I’d had explosive chemistry with women before, but I knew it would be different with Beatrice. I’d never been this close with a girl, had an emotional connection as well as a physical one. I knew when I finally got to taste her, I wouldn’t be able to stop. Thinking about it made me hard, so I moved myself slightly so she wouldn’t feel it. The last thing I wanted to do was make her uncomfortable.
I kept staring at her mouth, my mind thinking things it shouldn’t. I just wanted her to grab me and dig her nails into my skin. I wanted her to cling to me desperately, too afraid to let go. I wanted an admission of feelings, a confession of emotion. I wanted her.
Unable to control myself, I leaned toward her and pressed my face closer to hers. She didn’t open her eyes, but I could feel her warm breath fall on my skin. Unable to wait, and certain she felt the same way, I lightly pressed my lips against hers.
It was a gentle touch, so light it could have been the touch of a butterfly. Her lips were warm like I thought they’d be. They were soft and full, making my heart accelerate the nanosecond our bodies touched.
I took a deep breath once I felt her, my body lighting on fire. All I did was press my mouth to hers and not move. I was too scared to do anything else. A gentle closed-mouth kiss was probably all she could handle.
But then her lips started to move against mine.
My spine shivered as I felt her lips brush across my mouth. They found me in the darkness, making every inch of my skin prickle. My heart kicked into overdrive and my desire came forth. I tightened my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me, wanting all of her. My mouth gently took hers, giving her purposeful and delicate kisses. I took her passionately, telling her how much I cared about her without actually saying it.
My hand moved from her waist and into her soft hair. I allowed myself to feel it, to touch the silky strands. I fisted it then pulled her deeper into me. She was an amazing kisser, better than I hoped for. I breathed hard into her mouth before I moved on top of her.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and anchored me to her, meeting my passionate kisses with her own. Then her tongue met mine, lightly dancing. A moan escaped my lips and I kissed her harder, letting my desire leak through my pores. I’d wanted her the moment I saw her, and I wanted to feel this intimacy for months since she and I became close. The embrace was a long time coming, and I was glad she was finally mine. Every guy in the world would hate me and I’d bask in that envy. I worked my ass off to gain Beatrice’s trust and confidence. Now she finally let me have her. Finally.
Beatrice abruptly ended our kiss then pushed my shoulder. “Stop.”
I froze and looked down at her. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“Just…stop.” She tried to push me off of her.
I moved out of the way, giving her space.
She sat up and caught her breath. She didn’t look at me, clutching the sheets to her chest.
I didn’t know what to do. What just happened? Did I mess this up? “Beatrice?”
She felt her lips with her fingers then lowered her hand. “I…I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight.” She got up and left my bedroom then shut the door.
What? I stared at the door, unable to process what just happened. What went wrong? What did I do? She kissed me back like she wanted me. Why did she stop herself? I pulled on my sweatpants then went after her. “Beatrice, why are you—”
“I can only be friends with you,” she blurted. “I already said that.” She didn’t look at me.
I sighed then sat beside her on the couch. I didn’t touch her. “Beatrice, don’t be scared. Don’t push me away.”
She pulled the blanket over her legs. “I’m sorry, Conrad. I already said I couldn’t give you more than a friendship.”
I sighed and tried to hide my frustration. “Well, we aren’t just friends, in case you haven’t noticed. We don’t act like friends and we don’t do things friends do. We’ve never been friends. And what’s wrong with that?”
She pulled her knees to her chest and shook her head. “I just can’t.”
“Why don’t you just try?” I asked.
“Conrad, no.”
My patience was waning. “Tell me why,” I demanded. “We’re perfect together.”
She fidgeted with her hair. “I just don’t do relationships.”
“You mean relationships with labels?” I snapped. “Because that’s what we are.”
She didn’t respond to my hostility. “Conrad, a friendship is all I can give you. If that’s not enough, I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore…”
This situation was shitty. If I gave up on her, I wouldn’t see her anymore. I’d lose her from my life. But if I stayed, my heart would be dragged through the mud. “I just wish you would tell me why.”
“I physically can’t. That’s my reason.”
That still didn’t explain anything. “Sleep in my room, Beatrice. I’ll take the couch.”
“It’s okay,” she whispered.
“No, I mean it,” I said in a heated voice. “Now go.”
She knew not to challenge me, at least right now. “Okay.” She walked into the bedroom then shut the door.
I lay back on the couch and growled. Our night had been perfect but I sabotaged it with my stupidity. She wasn’t ready and I rushed it. Now we had to start over, if there was something to start over.
She kept me at a distance for a reason I couldn’t figure out. But I suspected it had something to do with her family or her childhood. Maybe she was afraid she’d lose me like she lost her mother. She was scared and I had to be patient with her.
But right now, that seemed impossible.
Chapter Two
Theo
Whenever Alex was at work, I tried to act like nothing had happened between us. She was determined to remain professional, but that didn’t sound appealing to me.
When she passed me on the way to the locker room, I discreetly squeezed her ass.
She turned her big eyes on me and silently threatened to kill me.
I winked then kept walking.
I headed to the front desk and finished some paperwork I had for my new students. I couldn’t stop smiling and I knew I looked a little loony.
“Something going on between you and Alex?”
I looked up to see Gerald leaning against the counter. “Why do you ask?”
“Because you just grabbed her ass.”
I smirked. “Caught that, huh?”
“Well, you didn’t try hiding it.”
I laughed. “She and I…we’re…yeah.”
“Sleeping together?” he questioned.
“No. But we are seeing each other.” I glanced around the office. “Keep that to yourself, alright?”
He rolled his eyes. “Everyone knows. I’m just the first one to ask you about it.”
I returned the papers to the folder. “Jealous, right?”
“I’m just curious as to what happened. Last time I checked, you hated each other.”
“There’s a thin line between love and hate…”
“Apparently.” He studied my face. “You seem happy though.”
“Very. She’s a cool chick.”
“She’s a hot piece of ass.”
My eyes darted to his and my buoyant attitude disappeared. “What the fuck did you say?”
Gerald realized his mistake. “I said nothing.”
“Let’s hope so…” I sat down in the chair and stared him down.
“So, how did it happen?”
I let his comment slide. “I ran into her at a bar. She was drunk off her ass so I got her home safely.”
“So, you became her knight in shining armor?” He rolled his eyes.
“Something like that…”
“And I take her to see my family for Christmas and wait on her hand and foot but she doesn’t notice me…” Bitterness was heavy in his voice. “I was nice to her from the beginning. I’m the one who deserves her, not you.” He sighed then rapped his knuckles on the counter.
I knew Gerald thought Alex was cute but I didn’t know he had feelings for her. Unsure how to handle the revelation, I said nothing and watched Yates with his group of students.
“And she just suddenly liked you?” Gerald asked incredulously.
“I guess… I can’t really explain it. The chemistry has always been there.”
“You’ve been nothing but a dick to her.” Anger flushed his face.
I was getting impatient with his attitude. I rose to my feet. “Do you have a problem with me dating Alex? Because if you do, it doesn’t change anything. I won her fair and square.”
He narrowed his eyes at me then turned away, storming off.
Gerald and I had been friends since I started working there. We weren’t extremely close, but I cared about him as a person. But if he was going to act like a girl about Alex, I wasn’t going to put up with it.
Alex came out of the locker room wearing just a sports bra and spandex. Her stomach was flat and tight, and her legs were long and lean. She was gorgeous, and turned heads no matter how many times she walked into a room.
She noticed Gerald’s slumped shoulders and the scowl on his face. Like a friend, she went to him and rubbed his shoulder, consoling him. I didn’t like her touching him, not after knowing he had a thing for her. But I let it be since Alex wouldn’t listen to me anyway.