“Connor is…” the woman trailed off, her hands wringing in her lap. “He’s at least in a place where he can’t hurt anyone anymore. I hope he can get the help he needs, but I know the damage has been done. The things you said…” Sadie waited. “I understand loss,” she continued. “Gut-wrenching, life-altering loss. I know it when I feel it and I know it when I see it.” Their eyes met and there was a common grief there, something they both understood. “I’d never wish it on anyone. Not even my worst enemy.”
“I was so jealous of Dani,” Sadie admitted, much to Mrs. Page’s shock. Her eyes widened and her head reared back.
“She always said how much you hated her.”
“It wasn’t about hating her. No one ever listened to me. My whole life, I was nothing more than decoration. And here came Dani, so smart and so quick, and my father hung on every word she said. It sounds so petty now. I’ve never gotten the chance to apologize to you personally.” She turned and faced Dani’s mother. The woman that gave birth to the girl she’d killed. “Would you mind if I do it now?”
“I’ve never thought I needed to hear what you have to say, but I’m starting to think that maybe I was wrong. Maybe it’s something we both need to hear.”
Sadie nodded. “I am so sorry for taking Dani away from you. I wish I could go back and do everything differently and be a better person. Dani was everything I wanted to be and didn’t know how to accomplish. Bright, smart and confident.” Mrs. Page’s eyes filled with tears. “I deserved every second of my punishment, and I did my best to learn from it and become someone that Dani would have respected, instead of the stupid girl I was. I hope you can see that I have changed. Dani deserved to live a long and happy life and I stole that from her and from you. I am very, very sorry.”
They were not easy words to say, but ones she had practiced many times over the years. Letters she’d written that she had no intention of sending, things she wrote and shared in group therapy. Things that were meant to help her heal. But sharing the words with the person they were intended for made all the difference. Sadie finally felt relief and that burden she always carried around felt just a little lighter.
“Thank you,” Mrs. Page whispered, leaning back on the bench and looking away.
Sadie too looked away, taking the moment to compose herself.
“I very much liked Cocoa. She was very sweet when I was here a few weeks ago.”
Sadie’s lips turned up at the memory. “She liked you. To be fair, Cocoa liked everyone and everything.”
“I’m sorry for what Connor did. He stole her away from you and if anyone knows how that feels, it’s me.”
“Thank you,” Sadie said, not sure she could say anything else.
“The things you said…” Mrs. Page repeated her words from earlier. “They were all the things I want to say about Danielle but can never find the right words. If you spend too much time thinking about the dark, the why’s and how’s of why she isn’t here anymore, you start to lose some of the good memories. I spent too long being angry with you instead of celebrating and remembering Danielle. Don’t do that, Mercedes.” She shook her head and corrected herself. “Sadie. I don’t even see the same girl when I look at you anymore. It’s as if you’re two different people.”
“I feel the same way,” Sadie admitted. “But most people don’t understand that.”
Mrs. Page put her hand over Sadie’s and squeezed.
“Most people haven’t been where you or I have been.”
They stayed that way for a long time, hand in hand, silently taking strength and solace in each other. Most people hadn’t been where either of them had been and with any luck, no would else ever would.
17
“She must be so glad this is all over,” Audrey said, grabbing Brady’s attention from where it was stuck on his sister’s house and back to her.
Audrey had been so supportive of Sadie and Lincoln, helping out wherever she could, and Brady was grateful. While his friends understood his relationship with Sadie, they weren’t exactly hands-on where she was concerned. They weren’t all pitching in to help or lending a hand.
Audrey was right there, right in the thick of things, making sure everything that needed to get done was taken care of. Between her and the Walkers, there was no stone left unturned and no guest unfed.
“I’m sure she is,” Brady agreed, helping her pack the last of her food containers in the trunk of her car.
She’d been caring for Gordon for a few days but he was back with Lincoln now.
“How long until Lincoln calls it quits and moves out here?” she asked, her expression thoughtful.
He put his hands on his hips, his brow furrowed. “He’s not calling it quits.”
Only Audrey would have the audacity to laugh at him. Just outright laugh. Women, whether he wanted them to or not, tended to bend over backward for him, in more ways than one. They liked to please him, make him smile and laugh.
Audrey didn’t give a flying shit if he was happy. She went with the truth, bottom line, no ifs, ands, or buts.
“Have you looked around, Brady?” Audrey folded her arms over her chest, momentarily distracting him. “Most of his clothes are here. His dog is here. Sadie is here.”
“Well, his work is in Boston.”
Audrey rolled her eyes and closed the lid on her trunk with a jarring thud.
“What did you think was going to happen when you set this all up?”
“I didn’t set this up? You set this up,” he shot back.
“We set this up,” she conceded. “But I did it, hoping my brother would finally be happy and whole. What did you do it for?”
“I thought Sadie would come home,” he told her, throwing his arms up, annoyed. “I thought she’d see everything she’d been missing out on and come back. Instead, I find out my father basically drove her away and now I know damn well she isn’t coming back.”
“She loves it here, Brady. Why wouldn’t you want her to have that?”
“It’s not that I don’t want that for her. I just want it for her closer to me.”
Audrey smiled. “That’s adorable, Brady Charles.”
He scowled. “There’s nothing about me that’s adorable.”
She snorted. “You mean that sweet streak you have for your baby sister? Totally adorable. Swoon-worthy adorable.”
“I don’t see you swooning,” he complained. “I’d be happier if there was actual swooning going on.”
She shrugged, her auburn hair gleaming under the setting sun. “Sorry. I swoon for no man, but if I did…” she trailed off. “Anyway, you’ve got to know he’s leaving soon. Even Grant said something to me this past week and he’d as hardheaded and thick as they come. I give it another month, tops.”
“I kind of want to go back to the swooning,” he admitted, leaning his butt against her expensive car and smirking at her.
They’d been playing this game for months, fooling around on the side and keeping things casual. That’s how he liked his relationships and as far as he could tell, it’s how Audrey liked them too. They hadn’t ever discussed being monogamous and he hadn’t been a saint, but she was by far his favorite woman on the planet, aside from his sister.
She was ambitious and driven, and those were a few of the things he liked most about her. When they were at work, she was a total ballbuster. He spent half his workdays hard as a rock, the other half trying to drive her crazy. But neither of them were looking for permanent or long-term, their careers in the fast lane and life taking a backseat for the time being.
They worked well together, though.
“You know I leave for London tomorrow,” she said casually, moving to the driver’s seat and tossing in her purse. “Won’t be back for two weeks.”
“I thought it was one week.”
“I picked up a tech conference at the last minute. Want to come?” Her bright eyes were full of suggestion and sensual promise, and if he didn’t miss, his guess, a little humor.
“Which one scares you more, Brady? I promise to hold your hand.”
“It’s not my hand I want you to grab onto.”
She chuckled and rolled her eyes but he thought he noted a flash of disappointment.
“Did you want me to come?” he asked, suddenly a little unsure.
“No,” she said, her shoulders visibly straightening. “I have a lot to do, to be honest. I have meetings set up with OmniTech and Franklin Lord. I’m sure they’d be a bore for you.”
Franklin Lord? They were a huge media company with offices all over the world, headquartered in London, and if he remembered correctly, she’d turned down a very generous job offer from them in order to work with them at the firm.
“You moving into media management now?”
“Human resources is needed in every company, Brady, or have you not been listening to me all these years when I talk?”
“Are you leaving the firm?” he asked, a skitter of alarm running down his spine.
“It’s just a meeting.”
Brady narrowed his eyes at her evasiveness.
“A consultation meeting? A job-interview meeting?”
She raised an eyebrow at him. “You met with Victoria Redmond twice last month and claimed they were business meetings, yet we do no business with Redmond Holdings. Would you care to explain what those were about?”
Brady snapped his mouth shut on any reply he may have thought to use. Victoria Redmond was a temptress and he was nothing but a weak man. She asked for a lunch, one thing led to another, and they’d ended up in bed.
Twice.
Audrey didn’t seem overly upset, but the guilt had been eating at him, and now that he knew she was aware of everything, he felt lower than low.
“It didn’t mean anything,” he said weakly. “You know how it is?”
And suddenly, instead of simply feeling low, he felt unworthy. Audrey was a superstar, smart and quick, gorgeous and loyal, and he’d reduced himself to nothing more than a guy that couldn’t keep it in his pants.
If he couldn’t do it for Audrey, who the hell could he do it for?
“I didn’t expect anything else,” she said, tossing a metaphorical shovelful of dirt into his grave as he looked up at her. “But it’s a little unfair to expect something from me that you aren’t willing to give yourself. I’ve got a few meetings that will be strictly business, if that makes you feel any better. I like to network and make connections. The conference is a good way to do that.”
“I liked it better when you were flirting with me,” he admitted. “I’m better with flirting.”
“Yes, you are.” She opened her car door and stuck a foot in, clearly indicating that she was on her way out, and Brady couldn’t help but feel like he’d put his foot in it. “You know, you’re worth more than you give yourself credit for, Brady. You should really think about the things your sister said today about finding who you’re supposed to be and fighting for your future.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
She shook her head, disappointment just flowing off her.
“I’ll be back in a few weeks.”
Without another word, she got in her car and backed out of the driveway, never even turning to wave.
Brady watched, hands in his pockets, wishing he was as confused as he pretended to be at Audrey’s suggestion. He’d been playing the bachelor playboy all his life. Even the persona he played at work was a variation of that person, a schmoozing jokster that relied on wit and charm, as if intellect wasn’t an option.
Sadie’s speech had struck a chord with him, as it had with most people that were in attendance.
But, Sadie was stronger than he was and she’d had desperation on her side. He wasn’t sure if he had it in him to make a real change in his life, something that would effect how people saw him and everything they knew about him. Or thought they knew.
He shook his head, still looking after her, and then trudged to his own car.
Two weeks.
It wasn’t that long.
Though everything went smoothly and there were more bright moments than dark, Sadie felt scraped raw by the time the last of the guests left. Her emotions were fried, every nerve just vibrating and overly sensitive.
She studied the look on Brady’s face, as Audrey left him in the dirt and drove away, the scene almost bringing tears to her eyes. And even though her brain knew that was ridiculous, there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.
So, she let the tears build as they may, quivering on the end of her lashes ineffectively.
“I think Brady and Audrey just broke up,” she whispered to Lincoln as he changed clothes.
His bare arms slipped around her a moment later, leading her to realize he hadn’t finished changing. His chin rested on her shoulder as he looked out the window, seeing Brady shuffle to his car, shoulders slumped.
“Broke up?” he murmured, kissing her neck in a comforting gesture. One that said, I’m right here. “Why do you say that?”
She lifted a shoulder. “They just had a moment out there. I don’t know, but it looked really personal.”
Lincoln shook his head. “Brady and Audrey? I don’t think so. I’d know if they had something going on.” He was quiet for no more than a second. “Actually, maybe I wouldn’t. Audrey isn’t exactly forthcoming when it comes to her personal life, but Brady?”
“I could be wrong,” she ventured, turning in his arms and resting her cheek against his chest. “I want to be wrong. I don’t want to think about anyone else being unhappy today.”
“I know how devastated you are, honey, especially today. But you were amazing; the things you said—I think they really had an impact on people.”
“I’d like to think so,” she agreed, remembering her contemplative moments with Mrs. Page. “I’d like to think that people got another reminder that life is short and things can change in the blink of an eye.”
His chest rose under her cheek as he took a bracing breath. “Some things don’t change,” he said quietly as the room settled into dusk around them.
She leaned back to look up at him. “What do you mean?”
He cupped her cheek with his palm, his thumb stroking her face. He just smiled a little.
“I’ve got the next couple days off,” he said instead of answering. “I was thinking you, me, and the dogs could hang out here for a while. Maybe hike and spend some time together. Or if you’re up for it, we can take them down to the Cape for a few quiet days. Take our minds off everything if we can.”
“The Cape, huh?” she asked, her mind automatically wondering who they might run into there.
“You take your time thinking about it,” he said, lacing their fingers together and giving her a little tug. He pulled her to the bed as he spoke. “For now, after today, I just want to laugh loud and enjoy life as I please.” His eyes met hers and the seriousness she saw there nearly made her knees buckle. “I just want to love you as big as I can tonight, Sadie, so you remember that we’re both still here, and to remind you that I think we can work.”
Sadie’s own words spoken back to her, about not taking life for granted, softened her. Even the idea that Lincoln thought they could work as a couple made her melt. Just a week ago, life had looked completely different. There had been boundaries around both of them that now seemed nothing more than arbitrary. What other people thought of them, what might happen, or who might say what. It all seemed so unimportant.
She was floating in a sea of sadness, Lincoln one of the only things reminding her that there was something to swim back to shore for.
“I’d like to try to make us work,” she admitted, letting him lay her down gently and join her on the bed.
“That’s all I can ask for. You just stay with me and keep trying.”
His fingers brushed the hair off her forehead with a whisper-soft touch, his eyes glued to her face. She let him pet her f
or a minute, but when he didn’t touch her further, she hooked a leg around his hip and tried to pull him closer.
“You’re too far away,” she told him, running a palm down his chest. “I need to feel you.”
And she did need to feel him. She needed her connection with him to ground her to her new reality.
So, when he tugged her shirt up, she let him sweep it over her head and didn’t think to care where it landed. She only cared that his hands came right back to touch her. His brow furrowed, a look of deep concentration on his face, he worked to remove every article of her clothing. He was meticulous in the way he touched her, not just wringing out every ounce of pleasure but forging an unbreakable connection between them.
Skin on skin, he slid against her, inside her. Their fingers twined, his eyes locked on her, he worked for her. He never demanded she meet his gaze. In fact, he never demanded anything other than she keep her heart open for him. Her eyes drifted closed and Lincoln held her close, pleasing her and rocking himself into release.
It wasn’t bed-shaking sex. It wasn’t hot, wet, or slippery. It wasn’t dirty-talking, midnight banging.
They’d done those things and they were fun as hell.
But that wasn’t what they were doing.
Just like he’d said, Lincoln was loving her in the only way he could without words. It was tender and intimate; mostly importantly it was forgiving of how she felt in that moment.
She didn’t even climax, her emotions far too frazzled to focus on such a reaction, but she didn’t fault him for his orgasm. They took from each other what they needed, and what she needed from him, more than a release, was his physical presence. His touch and support meant more than anything else.
That realization alone opened a dam inside her chest, and a sob she’d been holding in for days exploded from her throat.
Lincoln, God love him, didn’t poo-poo her reaction or ask if she was okay. Of course she wasn’t okay. Instead, he just held her as he had been for days on end, wrapping his arms around her as if he could hold her together with nothing but the strength of his arms. And maybe he could because in that moment she felt more whole than she had since she’d crested that hill and seen Cocoa lifeless in the mud.
No Love Left Behind (Boston Billionaire's Club Book 1) Page 21