by Mark Goodwin
Ziggy had got about half way to the top when the courier bag shifted on his bike and an
Olympic bowling ball fell out. The ball was the latest in bowling technology. It weighed five
pounds, solid but yet had elasticity and could bounce which gave bowlers an edge against
bowlers with conventional balls. You could easily see its bouncing ability as it headed on
down the “lane“. Two cars swerved and narrowly avoided the round projectile but Eddie’s Ice
Cream truck didn’t fair so well. The ball crashed into the front of his truck, damaging the
radiator. The impact was so hard that the back doors of the truck flew open and barrels of
soft ice cream went rolling down to Chestnut Street.
Near where the two streets joined, was a bible study group which was having an outdoor
meeting. All at once, throughout the neighbourhood, you could hear the sounds of people
rejoicing.
Ziggy arrived at Barney’s, jumped off his bike and went to get the bowling ball… no ball!
“I could have sworn it was in Wung’s bag. I know I had it. Wonder where the heck it is”,
thought Two Step as he scratched his head in utter confusion.
He didn’t have much time to think about it before Lucy called from Dispatch. He needed to
go to the airport to pick up a shipment of live cockroaches which were urgently needed by
The Department of Disease Control. Cockroaches were thought to be the blame for crop
failure and sick farmers in the state of New Mexico and Riverton had the most advanced
research facilities in North America.
The cockroaches were packed in a Styrofoam case with tiny holes to allow enough air inside
to keep them alive. It was lightweight and encased with three large rubber bands. Inside were
several dozen of the biggest cockroaches outside Jamaica. Ziggy put them on his bike and
secured them with a bungee cord. The day had improved, certainly the weather had.
However, just after Ziggy left the airport to return to the centre of town to deliver the
roaches, a strong wind came up. The bungee cord he used was old and frayed and the wind
banged it against the metal frame of the bike. Ziggy was doing about 20 mph when the
bungee cord broke and the case went flying. The case broke open and sensing freedom at
last, fifty or more cockroaches scurried to the nearest safe haven they could find. That safe
haven happened to be the town’s only greasy spoon restaurant - Tony’s Food Shack. It was
kind to be called a shack because it hardly qualified, healthwise, slightly better than an
outhouse but it did serve the best burgers in Riverton. Its burgers were the only thing that
kept City Hall from revoking Tony’s license despite the fact that he already had several
health violations against him.
Again, Two Step had no knowledge that he was missing his package until he arrived at the
Department of Disease Control. He was already worried about reporting the loss of the
bowling ball and now he had to worry about the cockroaches. This was going to be a bad day!
Back at Police Headquarters
Sergeant Bilco’s phone wouldn’t stop ringing. Calls of gloom and doom were coming in. There
were reports of a bowling ball attacking people and sidewalks slippery with ice cream. There
were no reports about the fugitive cockroaches - mainly because the public was unaware that
they were on the loose. Mind you, Tony who owned the Food Shack knew. He didn’t know that
they were cockroaches on the run and he didn’t know where they came from but he knew he
had them. He saw a family of them running across his kitchen counter. Thank God, his
customers couldn’t see past the kitchen door and he wasn’t about to tell anyone. He had
enough problems with the Health Department already.
Captain Grant had his door closed and wasn’t seeing anybody. He was on the phone listening
to Mayor Reynolds roar at him about how the town was coming apart. Grant was given an
ultimatum to get things under control soon or look for a new job. He also was expected to
identify and apprehend those responsible for the ongoing chaos.
Thirty minutes after getting an earful from Reynolds, Grant called in all members of the
police force, both on duty and off, and told them he needed results and fast. Everyone was
brought up-to-date on all the incidents and each officer hit the streets to find those
responsible - some by foot, others by squad car.
What - No Lunch Break?
Ziggy suddenly realized it was already past his lunch hour. He had planned to stop at Burger
King but he was behind schedule and he sort of lost his appetite. He was more concerned
about telling his boss that he lost two shipments. It didn’t take long before Lucy called to tell
him to return to the office because Joe, his boss, wanted to see him
“But I still have a load of deliveries to make.”
“Joe says never mind the deliveries. He wants you back here, pronto!”
“Okay, okay, I’m coming”
Ziggy chained his bicycle in the company garage and headed towards Joe’s office on the
second floor of the building. His two-step was gone and he walked slowly up the stairs. He
was about to knock on his boss’s door when it was suddenly opened. There he was standing
face to face with Joe whose face looked so red it was about to explode.
“I got two complaints in the last hour. Barney didn’t get his bowling ball and the Department
of Disease Control didn’t get their cockroaches. What the hell is going on, Ziggy?”
“I … I … I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Why didn’t you deliver the ball? What about the
cockroaches?”
“I … I … I don’t know what happened to the bowling ball. I thought I had it but when I got to
Barney’s, it wasn’t in my bag.”
“What about the cockroaches?”
“I picked them up at the airport, strapped the box to my bike but when I stopped at Disease
Control, they were gone.”
“Good God, Ziggy! I can live with the bowling ball going missing. I can always give Barney
some extra cash and he’ll let it go. But live cockroaches? They might be disease infected and
YOU don’t know what happened to them? If this gets around, my business is ruined. I want all
the parcels and packages back ‘cause I can’t trust you with them. From now on, you just
deliver letters. I’ll do the damn packages myself. Leave the packages with Lucy and get the
hell outta here before I fire you!!”
“Yes Sir, Sorry Sir”, said Two Step as he retreated from the office. He dropped off all his
packages. There was a good side to all this. Ziggy only had a handful of letters to deliver and
then he was finished for the day. Maybe today won’t be so bad after all. Really, how could it
get much worse?