Just Like Heaven

by T L Bradford

  “Really?” I feel myself begin to tear up.

  “Really, I want you right by my side. I couldn’t bear to be apart from you, especially now.”

  “Just tell me what flight to be on. I’ll be there.”

  Helena and Jacob are right on time to pick us up. She rushes over when she spots us and throws her arms around Noah’s neck. She is such a contrast to her son. Helena is pure hippy-dippy goodness. She is a tiny lady standing no more than maybe five foot two. She’s wearing a multi-colored crocheted sweater and Birkenstocks that on anyone else would seem dated, but fits her to a T. She is still a beauty, having never let herself go. I’ve never seen his father, but without a doubt, Noah received at least some of her good looks.

  Next, she’s on to me and gives me the same warm welcome as Noah. When she comes closer, she has a subtle scent of jasmine and beachy ocean spray. Her smell is not very dissimilar from her son, only slightly sweeter. Jacob patiently waits his turn and gives Noah a huge bear hug. He greets me warmly with a full grip handshake. When I had met them briefly before, it was under duress at the hospital. It is so much better to be seeing them under different circumstances today.

  It’s about an hour drive from the airport to their home. Jacob and Noah sit up front, while his mother and I take the back seat. The whole while Noah’s mother engages us with background on the city, the sights and of course stories of Noah when he came to stay with them while in college. She’s a hoot. Talking to her is refreshing.

  Since Noah is not out to his family yet, we’re very careful to limit our interaction. However, every second Noah gets a chance; I see him look up in the mirror into the backseat and flirt with me. I’m flushing and wish he would stop. The last thing I need is to pop a boner here in the backseat next to his mom. Okay, that thought alone just killed my impulse.

  By the time we reach the house, Helena and I are like old friends. It turns out we have a lot in common, from TV shows to music and everything in between. I see both Jacob and Noah shake their heads, not understanding the appeal of trash TV and pop/retro music, but we giggle and tease them to make our point that what we are experiencing in modern history, will be viewed as classic hundreds of years from now. They still don’t agree.

  Entering the house is like walking into my own family home. The smell of crock pot goodies comes charging at us, assaulting my nostrils. Helena tells me she has made a vegetable stew on the side, especially for me. I’m touched that Noah thought enough to let his mother know ahead of time that I’m a vegetarian. I wasn’t near him when he called to let them know he’d be home this weekend, so I’m a little curious how he explained I was going to be coming along and if they wondered why.

  Jacob takes my bag and shows me to my room; it’s right next to Noah’s boyhood bedroom. At least that will be convenient for later, I think to myself. I’m going to hate not sleeping with him tonight, but I understand why. This past week we’ve been attached at the hip, rarely leaving each other’s side. Our lovemaking has renewed fervor, not that this was ever an issue in our relationship. What’s been amazing is the new attentiveness Noah has for me. We’ve gone out several times in public as a couple and Noah has even held my hand. I feel so giddy; it’s like I’m dating my high school crush.

  Once I put my bag down, and Jacob joins Helena back in the kitchen, I poke my head into Noah’s room where he is putting his things away. I sneak up behind him and put my arms around his waist and hug him. He pulls my arms around him tighter and turns around to kiss me. “You had better leave your door open for me tonight.”

  “Will do sir,” I say and bring my arms up around his neck to kiss him again, this time deeper. I can’t start anything we won’t be able to finish, so I step away from him and take a look around his old room. He had sophisticated tastes, even for a college student. Posters of Broadway plays, and classic movies adorn his walls. He was a total theater geek.

  On his dresser are young pictures of Noah, most are of his time living here with his mother when he was older. But one is of a small boy about the age of 5 or 6. He is tiny and has a frightened look in his eyes. Next to him is a very tall, broad-shouldered man with jet-black hair, a mustache and a startling gaze that almost jumps out at you. He has the damn eyes of a wolf. This must be Noah’s father, Tobias. The eyes are identical. Intimidating does not even begin to describe the aura the man gives off. He holds Noah clasped tight to his side, yet Noah looks like he is wary of being near the man.

  Noah’s mood darkens, seeing I’ve found the picture. “Is that—?” I don’t get to finish my question because Noah is taking my hand, leading me toward the door.

  “Let’s go eat. I know you’ll love my mom’s cooking. She makes the best stew you’ve ever had,” he leans over and kisses me before closing the door tight behind us.

  The food tastes as great as it smells; the company is even better. Looking around the table, I’m relieved that Noah was able to find solace here in his life. Had he not reconnected with his mother, there’s no telling what type of man he would have turned out to be. The love Helena has for her son is obvious, she dotes on him mercilessly, and I can tell Noah loves it.

  They seem like a supportive family. I don’t see a reason why they would have a serious issue with our relationship. I’ve seen Helena look over at the both of us several times now with a huge knowing grin. Jacob is similar to my father. He’s friendly and warm, but also a no-nonsense realist. This makes his interactions with his idealist wife a treat to see. It’s all in good fun, though. They love each other deeply that much is clear.

  I help Helena clear and clean dishes when we finish. We’re having so much fun chatting; it’s like I’ve found a new bestie.

  “This evening has been so much fun, sweetie; I’m enjoying you being here. Who knew Noah had such cool friends? I swear that boy has such a stick up his ass sometimes. I wondered if he was ever going to grow out of it.”

  “Trust me, when I met him, that stick was still firmly implanted. Deep.”

  “Well, sweetie, you must be the difference then.” She gives me a slight knowing smile. I’m not sure what to say, so I say nothing at all. I’m afraid I’ll give something away if I talk too much.

  “Cat got your tongue, Josh?” She’s goading me.

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Oh, good lord, if you ever call me ma’am again, I’ll be forced to hurt you, sweetie. Just call me, mom, okay?”

  “Okay, mom.”

  “Yes, indeed, since you’ve come into his life, Noah’s been the happiest I’ve ever seen him. He’s almost a different person. I can thank you for that.”

  “Thanks.” I feel suddenly shy.

  “Would you like a glass of wine?”

  “Sure, thank you.”

  Helena gets us two glasses and pours a white for us, then sets the glass down in front of me.

  We talk for a while about a little of everything. As we are finishing up our second glasses of wine, Helena gets real with me.

  “I’m not sure how much Noah has told you of his life growing up, but it was very tough for him as a child. I didn’t help matters any by my not being there to protect him.”

  “He’s mentioned being bullied and that his father was tough on him when he was young.”

  “I don’t think that begins to describe it. Tobias was a very angry and judgmental man. The only good thing to ever come between the two of us was my son. I was young, meek, and innocent when I first met him. I thought he was the sun and stars. The idea that Tobias Sinclair, heir to the Sinclair fortune, was interested in me, was inconceivable. I gave him everything and ended up with more than I bargained for.”

  I lean back with my wine and listen intently to what Helena has to say. This may be my only chance, seeing how Noah hasn’t discussed this part of his life much with me.

  “Tobias was from a staunchly religious and extremely wealthy family. I was working as a server and he would come to the restaurant after he attended church. He would stay late and wait until I
closed up, then walk me home. I was from the wrong side of the tracks. We both knew his parents would never approve of us dating, but we fell in love anyway, or so I thought.

  “The teachings of his church forbade premarital sex, but we were weak, at least he claimed I made him weak. It resulted in Noah being conceived. Abortion was out of the question as their church disallowed it. His family would never allow him to marry a poor girl like me, who let herself to get knocked up, so we found ourselves in an impossible situation. Tobias and I ran to get away from his family. We eloped way too young and attempted to raise the child on our own.

  “Things were rocky from the start and got no better. To him, I was some heathen who led him into the world of sin and cheated him out of his birthright. Not long after Noah was born, was when he began being abusive towards me. He was convinced Noah was evil, and I was the reason. I had nothing and no one else, so I stayed in that bad marriage for years.

  “Sometime later, a wonderful man came into my life and turned my world around. He truly loved and cared for me. The only problem was this man was my husband’s best friend. We fought it for so long, but our love was stronger than either of us could handle. Nothing stays buried in a small town for long, and Tobias eventually found out about us. He said my betrayal of him proved what a godless woman I was.

  “He tossed me out of my own house and just to hurt me, took my child away from me. He said there was no law in the land that would give me custody of Noah since I had broken my wedding vows. He never wanted Noah. He only used him as a pawn to scorn me.

  “After I had myself settled in a new place, I tried many times to get custody of Noah, but the Sinclair family made it next to impossible. They had judges and law enforcement on their side. One day I went by the house in the hopes of finding Noah outside only to realize that they had moved away, and I had no idea where they had gone.

  “The greatest day of my life was when Noah and I reconnected after he turned 18. I had my baby boy back. But, the shy, sweet boy I knew was different. He was damaged. I was so angry that part of that mans wretched ways had worked into his soul. Noah rarely discusses the time he spent under his father’s care, but I feel he had done a significant amount of physical and mental manipulation against him.

  “Tobias still has a strong hold on him, Josh. Stronger than you may realize. Please watch out for my boy.”

  I cover my hands over hers, which have gone white and shaky. Her eyes are filled with fear. What kind of evil is this man? Noah’s concerns are playing in my mind. Is he actually going to harm us if he finds out about us?

  “Don’t worry, mom; I will. I’ll fight to my dying breath.”

  “You’re the best thing in his life. Don’t lose him, okay? I was lucky enough to find my lifeline years ago. I don’t know what I’d have done without him.”

  “Were you ever able to find him again after Tobias found out about the two of you?”

  “Yes, I did.” She tips back her glass, draining the rest of the wine.

  “What happened?”

  “I married him, and he helped me raise my son.”

  Chapter 43

  Noah

  Ikeep turning around to see when Josh will exit the kitchen, but apparently, he is in deep conversation with my mother. They’ve been talking for a long time. Jacob and I kick back in the living room and catch up. We drink beer and watch sports highlights.

  “How are you healing up, Noah?” he asks me.

  “Okay, I’ve been in and out of the sling this week. I’m clear for next week. I go back to shooting for the show. Josh has been helping me out, getting me ready.”

  “I couldn’t thank him enough for getting in touch with us when you had your accident. Your mother was hysterical, worried about you.”

  “I pulled through okay. I’m the most resilient person you’ll ever meet.”

  “It’s funny you say that Noah because I was going to ask you about some questions the doctors had while we were there.”

  “What’s that?” I feel like I need to be on guard.

  “They did multiple x-rays. You had suffered several fractures from the impact. They also noticed something else while checking. There were many existing fractures all over your arms, legs and ribs. They were old but still visible. They said it looked like some of them were never cared for.”

  “I’m an active guy. I’ve had a lot of accidents.”

  “Noah, some of these were clean breaks. Your arms alone have been broken at least three times.”

  “I’m clumsy.”

  He stares at me, unsure how to proceed. “I’ve always been blunt with you. I consider you my own son. So, I’m going to ask you directly how you got those injuries. Did Tobias do this to you when you were young?” I turn away from him and sip on my beer. “Jesus, Noah, answer me!”

  “I was bullied a lot. You know that. Kids kicked my ass all the time.”

  “You didn’t answer the question.”

  “It was a long time ago. I probably deserved it for something stupid I did.”

  “No kid deserves to have his freakin’ arm broken three times.”

  “I’m tired. I’m going up to bed.” I finish off my beer and stand up.

  Jacob grabs my arm before I can retreat. “Why did he do this to you!” I snatch my arm back and head upstairs without looking back. In my room, I sit at the foot of my bed and put my head in my hands. They have undeniable proof of my abuse. I never wanted them to find out. This would destroy my mother. I don’t want her to blame herself for Tobias’s mistakes.

  Having no idea what to do, I curl up on the bed, fully clothed, and close my eyes. I wait for sleep to come and make it all go away.

  I wake up late after a restless night of sleep without Josh. It’s nearly 11 am by the time I roll out of bed. I had those nightmares again; no doubt brought on by my conversation with Jacob last night. He’s trying to help, but that ship has long since sailed. I can’t go back down that road. My focus is on the future, one I plan to have with Josh.

  After a quick shower, I head downstairs. The smells from the kitchen draw me to the pots on the burner. “It smells great ma. What do we have today?”

  “I thought I’d make us up some veggie lasagna. I found a good recipe online.”

  “You go online now? Wait, you even know what online means?”

  “Hey, I’m hip to what the kids are doing these days.”

  “Hip, eh? For using that word, you just failed 21st Century 101.”

  “You always did have a sassy mouth.”

  “No idea where I got that from,” I tease her. “Hey? Where’s dad and Josh?”

  “They left early this morning to go fishing. You were still asleep. Josh didn’t want to wake you.”

  Shit! I was supposed to sneak into his room last night, but my conversation with Tobias distracted me. I hope he wasn’t pissed or takes it the wrong way like I don’t intend to tell them about us.

  “I can’t believe I slept that late.”

  “I made some breakfast. There’s still some left. I saved you a plate.”

  “Woman, you’re too good to me.”

  I drag myself over to the coffee maker and pour myself some brew while I heat my plate.

  “Would you mind helping chop veggies for the lasagna?”

  “No problem, ma. By the way, thanks for making Josh feel so at home. I know he appreciates you going out of your way to make things he can eat.” I get onions, tomatoes and eggplant out of the fridge. Then, remembering where the cutting board is, grab a knife, sit down and go to town slicing and dicing.

  “It’s no problem sweetie, your dad and I have been eating much healthier these days, anyway. And Josh has been no problem at all. We’ve loved having him here.” Hearing her say that makes me grin from ear to ear.

  She pauses to stare at me. “Your dimple only pops out like that when you’re really happy. It’s been a long while since I’ve seen it,” she says delightedly. “You must love him very much.”

 
I stop my hand mid-chop. She said that like it was the most natural thing in the world. I respond just as simply. “Yes, I do.”

  Mom walks over and puts her arms around me while I sit, I hug her tight around the waist while she rests her head on top of mine. “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, baby. That’s all. You deserve it.”

  “Thanks, ma. I love you.” Tears are choking my throat.

  “I love you too, baby.”

  “How did you know?” I ask releasing her and clearing my sniffles with the back of my hand. She sits down next to me.

  “Sweetie, a love like that shines a light all its own, but I knew for sure when we went to the hospital and I saw how taken Josh was with you. He wouldn’t leave your side for a second.” She runs her hand through my hair and brushes the tears from my cheeks.

  “Does Jacob know?” I ask worriedly.

  “We’ve talked about it many times; he feels just as I do. We only want your happiness, and Josh is that for you. And he’s so cute!”

  “Ma!”

  “He is! See, now you have to admit it,” she teases me. I grin.

  “Yeah, he is.”

  “Does his family know?”

  “Yes, they were okay with it. We didn’t tell anyone for a while. It was me that kept us in the closet for so long. That’s why we broke up.”

  “I wondered why you hadn’t mentioned him in a while.”

  “I came so close to losing him, ma. I kept trying to push him away. I was afraid.”

  “Noah, there’s nothing to be afraid of. We’re here, and we love you, no matter what.”

  “There’s something else, ma.” She leans forward and puts her hands in mine.

  “Tell me.”

  “He called me after those pictures came out of us.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He said he’d kill him if he found out we were together.”

  I see the color drain from her face. Her hands start to shake in mine. It’s my time to comfort her.