How to Marry a Highlander

by Michele Sinclair

  Adanel refused to even glance in Kara’s direction. For Kara, that was enough. She slapped the table. “I knew it!”

  Adanel refused to admit to trapping Dugan. In a way, Laurel and Conor had trapped both of them. Adanel had no idea what Dugan was told or learned, but Laurel McTiernay had not been quiet with her grand scheme or the reasons behind it. She firmly believed Dugan and Adanel were in love and just needed some time to work things out. Until the last couple of days, Adanel thought Laurel completely insane for not recognizing that some angers did not fade with time. But when Dugan had held her in his arms in the great hall, she had prayed for Laurel to be right.

  Then Dugan had disappeared, and aside from two very poorly cooked dinners in a great hall whose only improvement was the removal of rotten rushes and his appearance last night with a handful of his very dirty clothes, she had not seen him. Even those three encounters had been brief, with little conversation. Adanel wanted to blame exhaustion, for she could see that, like her, Dugan had been getting little sleep, but that was not why she had been quiet. Fear was her reason. Fear that if he were kind, nice, or even funny—the qualities that had endeared him to her—she would begin to fall for him again, and worse, that he would see it.

  Adanel finally looked Kara in the eye and stated, “It was not my trap. It was Laurel McTiernay’s. Seems she is a hopeless romantic like you.”

  Kara’s brows shot up. “Becoming a McTiernay is looking to be more promising than I thought.”

  “Her plan was to give us time. My plan was to return home and help my people.”

  Kara returned to her seat, sat down, and crossed her arms. “I’ll remind you that we’ve known each other our entire lives, and while for the most part you are a sweet and kind soul, you are not weak. However, you’ve played that role so much over the past few years you have forgotten that is not who you really are. You may not like to cause trouble, Adanel, but when it smacks you in the face, you fight back. If you had not wanted to marry Dugan, nothing could have made you do so. Or do I need to remind you about how you pretended to be pregnant for eight months and were planning to fake your own death—all just to get out of a marriage you did not want! The only conclusion I can make is that you married Dugan because you wanted him. You love him, Adanel.”

  “How can you say that?” Adanel asked hotly, pushing away from the table so she could stand and pace. “You know what Dugan said . . . did . . . or didn’t do. I’m just grateful we are being civil to each other after all that has happened.”

  “And yet you still love him.”

  Adanel opened her mouth to deny the accusation and then clapped her mouth shut, knowing she could not lie. Not about this and not to her best friend. “Even if you are right, it does not matter for Dugan does not feel the same about me.”

  Kara leaned forward. Her blue eyes had lost their levity and had become cold and serious. “The day you returned, I listened to all that you told me. Every argument, every harsh word you two shared. I listened to you recall what those lairds said to you and even what this Laurel McTiernay asked you about afterward. I heard and I hurt for you, knowing that you suffered. But now I need you to listen to me. Dugan McTiernay is not here to be laird. Aye, he is determined to do the job and do it well, but that is not why he is here. He is here because you are. That man loves you.”

  Adanel sank back down into her chair. “Then why doesn’t he say so? Why does he act just the opposite?” she posed, ignoring the memory of him holding her close and giving her encouragement. Kindness is not love, she told herself.

  “He, well . . .” Kara paused and shook her head. “He . . . just doesn’t want to. My guess is it’s the same reason you won’t tell him your feelings. He’s afraid that after all that has happened you will never love him back. One of you needs to allow yourself to become vulnerable and I think that is going to have to be you.”

  Adanel jumped up once again and threw her hands in the air. “Me?” she asked through gritted teeth. “Why is it always up to the woman?” She glared at Kara. “Seriously? I’m asking why is it up to us to get a man to admit he is in love? Look at what you had to do. Why do we have to put our hearts out there to be trampled on when men, who are so big and strong, are too afraid to even admit to simple interest?”

  Kara rolled her eyes. “That question has been asked by women since the days of the Garden of Eden. There is no answer, but I’ll tell you what I figured out last year with Fearan. Those women who demand the man to become vulnerable first end up lonely. I decided I’d rather be happy and in love.”

  “I cannot do it, Kara,” Adanel said, shaking her head. “I cannot just walk up to Dugan and admit that I love him. I have no idea what he would do, but I cannot imagine a single scenario that ends up with us happy in the end.”

  Kara shook her head. “Even I didn’t do that,” she chided. “God, if I had, Fearan probably would have run out the door, and I would have never seen him again. Men can only handle so much emotional honesty at the very beginning. What you need is to lure Dugan in.”

  “Lure him in?”

  Kara nodded. “Change the pattern. You were in one where you fought all the time, which can only be sustained for so long. Unfortunately, this cordial one you are in now can last forever. Mine lasted twelve years, and you two don’t have that long.” Kara tapped her finger against her chin. “With Fearan, he needed to feel wanted and I wanted to feel needed, which is why my sham of an unwanted suitor setup worked so well. It allowed Fearan to come in and play the hero and I loved it. Didn’t matter if it was not real, it could have been. That’s what Fearan realized. So”—she paused and looked at Adanel—“just what does Dugan want from you?”

  Adanel blinked. Kara’s logic sometimes was twisted, but somehow, it usually worked out. Today, however, Adanel was not so certain. “He wants to be able to trust me,” she finally confessed. “And that is not something I can just give him.”

  Kara tilted her head and gave a little shrug. “Maybe he is already trying to. I mean he did put you in charge of the castle.”

  “And I’m failing.”

  Kara rolled her eyes. “You know what you have to do. You just haven’t been willing to do it.”

  “I honestly don’t think a clean castle, good food, and helpful servants are going to make Dugan trust me.”

  “Not saying it would. I’m saying that it means he wants to trust you. And the way to get someone to trust you is to trust them first.”

  Adanel pursed her lips and was about to ask how when the door burst open and Fearan walked in grumbling about his day. “Not even Mackbaythe undermined me the way this new laird is doing, Kara. Damn man is going to learn that he is not—”

  His eyes landed on Adanel, and he stopped midsentence. Fearan glanced at his wife, who stood with an exasperated expression and then pointed at her friend. “Oh, uh, tha mi duilich.” He offered his apology with sincere embarrassment. “You know none of what I was saying was meant for you.”

  Fearan did not like Dugan McTiernay, but he did not want Adanel to feel like she was no longer welcome because she had married the man. When she gave him a smile and rose to let him sit down, he knew all was well.

  “Bad day, love?” Kara asked.

  Fearan took in a deep breath and then let it go. “Aye. And tomorrow will be worse. The new laird just ordered a third of those who worked on the docks to be escorted off his lands—including the dockmaster. And if he thinks of loading all those duties onto my shoulders, he needs to think again,” he grumbled again, forgetting about Adanel.

  “Were they dishonest men?” Kara asked, as she went to get a bowl for his dinner.

  Fearan nodded. “Every single last one of them would have stabbed him in the back given the chance.” He reached over and grabbed a mug and poured himself some ale.

  “Then isn’t their banishment a good thing?”

  “Aye, if done humanely. But a couple fought back, and they are now dead.” Fearan looked at Adanel and uncurled one finger a
round the mug and used it to point at her. “Your father took delight in killing men and it sickened me, but I tell you nothing he ever did was as scary as what I saw your husband do today. That man killed with no emotion whatsoever.” Fearan shivered. “It shook my core then and does even now, thinking about it. I honestly think he would have ended the life of every single one of those men if they had fought back and never lose a wink of sleep. You’re married to a cold one, Adanel. Cold and heartless.” He took a deep gulp. “If he’s smart, he’ll stay far away from me. I’m not one to be trifled with. You tell him I said that.”

  Adanel stared at Fearan for several long seconds. “I will,” she replied but disagreed wholeheartedly at Fearan’s assessment. To take joy in death like her father had was far worse than unemotionally ending one. The cold death of the two men probably saved lives for Adanel suspected any more corrupt men would rather be banished than resisting and dead. She gave Kara a quick hug. “Do me a favor and swing by the castle tomorrow. I’ve decided to shake things up and could use your help.”

  Kara pulled back and with a skeptical look, asked, “How?”

  Adanel glanced over her shoulder and smiled at Fearan. “I think I’m going to take a lesson from my husband. Emotions kept me from doing what I needed. Starting tomorrow that ends.” Leaning in so that she could whisper in Kara’s ear, she added, “Tonight I’m going to start earning back my husband’s trust.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “Come in.”

  Dugan paused to take a deep breath, staring at the closed door. He glanced once more down the winding stairwell though he knew Brùid was outside the tower standing guard to ensure they had privacy. Never before had he been so nervous to meet a woman—and this one was his wife! At least she was in all ways but the most important one. But based on the message he just received, that was about to change.

  He had been on his way back to the castle when Nigel had found him with a message from Kara. Adanel wants to see you. Tonight. In her chambers in the Village Tower. Alone.

  Unfortunately, the messenger had been Nigel, and there was no telling if he had been adding in the suggestive breaks or not, but he swore that the message was accurate and verbatim. And even if Dugan ignored Nigel’s dramatic inflections, the message’s meaning was clear. Adanel was ready to make their marriage a real one.

  A week ago, Dugan would have outright rejected the offer, but it was not just the long days that was making him tired. It was sleepless nights thinking of her. He wondered if Adanel was well, safe, how her day was, and a myriad of other things, including if she ever thought about him. He longed for her touch and, after the short embrace they had shared in the great hall, it had been all he could do to leave and not claim her as his body had demanded.

  Though they had only seen each other a few times since then, that day had sparked a change between them. He once again found himself enjoying her company and hating the times they were apart. Each time he saw her, especially alone, he was one step closer to caving to his primal desires, uncaring of the consequences. Adanel was his addiction and always would be. Regardless of all that transpired between them, she was the one for him, and there would never be anyone else.

  Dugan had thought his desires had been one-sided. Then came this cryptic message and his mind—and body—had been reeling in anticipation for this moment.

  “Did you hear me?” Adanel asked with a smile, seeing that she startled him by opening the door. “Come on in.”

  She waved her arm and Dugan entered woodenly as he saw the dinner for two on the small table. He was not sure what he expected, but he’d visited enough women who were trying to woo him into bed to immediately recognize that was not Adanel’s intentions. “I received a message you wanted to see me here? Alone?”

  Adanel nodded and gestured for him to sit down. “I hope you are hungry. Kara made this, so trust me when I say it is delicious. She could even challenge Fiona as being the best castle cook if she would only agree to work for me.”

  Dugan raised a brow but sat down. “She won’t? I thought of all people, your best friend would support you.”

  Adanel poured him some wine and then some in a mug for herself. “She and Fearan only recently married, and she wants to spend her time being a wife and hopefully someday soon a mother. Being a castle cook is hard work and leaves little room for anything else.”

  Adanel sat down and closed her eyes as she took a bite. Her face was one of pure pleasure. “Ah, Kara, you do know how to cook,” Adanel moaned.

  Dugan followed her and found himself moaning in agreement. “This is good. You need to try harder. We would be the envy of all who visited if they had a bite of this.”

  Adanel grinned and nodded. “That’s an idea. Maybe Kara would come help when we had visitors.”

  “Is that what you wanted to see me about? Kara? Cooks?”

  “In a way, but first, I heard you finally made a move at the docks. Fearan said that nearly a third of those that work the docks have been banished. He also said that two did not make it.”

  “I doubt that is what he really said.” Dugan paused and swallowed some wine. “The man looked positively green when I gutted those two bastards even though they had lunged for me first and I gave them two chances to desist before I ended their misery.”

  Adanel bit her bottom lip. “Fearan is not a fan of bloodshed, which is kind of a miracle with all the deaths that have surrounded this place for years.”

  “Well, I don’t like unnecessary bloodshed either, but when it is my life or that of another at stake, blood is going to be spilled and I make no apologies for it.”

  “Nor should you,” Adanel agreed. “I just thought you said you were going to wait until you learned all the dockmaster’s secrets. When you said that, I thought it would take several weeks.”

  Dugan scowled and then took another bite, which quickly erased the frustrated look into one of bliss. “Mo chreach, this is good. And you were right. I did think to wait longer, but no one has any secrets to tell. At least none that I am interested in. Their only goal was to cause mayhem without thought to themselves or those around them.”

  “Fearan did say that the ones you exiled were all corrupt.”

  “Not all of them, but the ones who weren’t were weak-willed and afraid to go against those they felt had the power. Their loyalty would always be in question. Maybe in the future, wherever they end up, they’ll have gained a little mettle.”

  “What are you going to do now?”

  Dugan leaned back and turned the mug back and forth in his hand. “The docks were overstaffed. We’ll eventually need more men once ships start coming in again, but I don’t expect recruiting will be a problem. Most of the ones removed were lazy, late to arrive, and early to leave. Those who remain will have to work hard to make up for the smaller numbers, but they will be paid significantly better.” He pointed at her with a knowing smile. “That will get the attention of others. But none of that will mean anything with the port blocked and Fearan trying to undermine me at every opportunity. Right now, his antics are playing to my favor, but the day they do not, your friend Fearan and I are going to have a talk. He thinks he has power, and in a way, he is correct, but he’s also never served under a real laird. Soon, he is going to learn just what that means.”

  Adanel’s eyes grew wide. This afternoon, she had heard Fearan’s frustration, and it was obviously not one-sided. “What is he doing?”

  “To get to Bàgh Fìon from the inner seas, ships pass through Loch Torridon, then Loch Shieldaig, and finally Upper Loch Torridon, where our port is on the eastern end. Being able to move so far inland by ship is what makes this port so valuable—that and its deep waters right to the shoreline allow even large ships to dock and not have to ferry their goods.”

  None of this was new information to Adanel, but she wanted Dugan to keep talking so she just nodded.

  “The MacLeods have at least three ships blocking the narrow pass between Loch Shieldaig and the Upper Lo
ch. So shipping and receiving goods via the port is not going to happen until I speak with MacLeod.”

  Adanel had never met her grandfather, and after he abandoned his youngest son and refused to give her safe harbor when asked, she was not sure she wanted to. “When are you going to talk to him?”

  Dugan gave her a small, reassuring smile. “Not anytime soon, in case you are worried about having the castle ready. I won’t meet with him until I have something to negotiate with—besides my leaving and letting him take over the port.”

  “You think that is what he wants?”

  “He sent a herald, who was waiting for us when we arrived. Your grandfather made it clear that until I relinquished the port, he had enough ships to have at least two or three blocking our port indefinitely. He also sent a message to your uncle telling him not to plan on returning unless he could make the McTiernays see reason. Didn’t Faden tell you?”

  Adanel shook her head, but hearing that Faden had heard from his father did explain her uncle’s recent surly attitude. With Brùid now as her guard, Faden spent most of his time with Garrett training and recruiting soldiers. Last time they spoke, her uncle had assured her that right now sparring was the best way for him to spend his time. Now she knew why.

  “Do you think Laird MacLeod might attack?”

  Dugan shook his head. “MacLeod might rule the seas, but he’d be slaughtered if he tried to attack us via land. Not even Daeron MacCoinnich would be naive enough to make such a bold move. Nay, MacLeod knows that we need the port active and that time is not our friend. But I know something he doesn’t expect I do,” Dugan ended with a smile.

  Adanel leaned forward, her brown eyes wide with interest. “What?”