by Casey Morgan
“Elves,” Ronald hissed under his breath.
Terry crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me. “No self-respecting witch stays with elves.”
“Oh, I already paid for the room,” I assured him. “Can’t lose the money, you know? Thanks again for the tea. Bye now!”
I backed up quickly, not wanting them to insist I spend the night with them or risk being called rude again. Not that it seemed they had anywhere for me to stay, in their small, cramped house that was overflowing with junk that they had apparently stolen.
Fiona followed me a bit before finally giving up and saying, “Well then if that’s what you prefer. Bye.”
I finally made my way outside. The children were throwing mud at one another. A blob of it hit me and from the doorway, Fiona noticed.
“Ey! You little brats. Stop throwin’ that mud! That’s your American cousin, you filthy animals,” she screamed.
This only egged the children on and they started throwing more mud at me while laughing at me for being an American. I found myself running and stumbling up the gravel path and away from the McDonnell house as fast as my feet would carry me.
They had tried to warn me, back at Hennessy House. I had just been too stubborn to listen. I supposed I had thought that finding my family would make me feel more at home here. But with family like that, who would need enemies?
Chapter 7
Shanna
Oh, my God! What a train wreck the McDonnells here are. Geez!
During my entire walk home, I still couldn’t believe how bad that visit had gone. I could only imagine Derek’s reaction to all of it. He was a such a priss. He’d probably end up arguing with them and getting thrown out.
Probably would’ve blamed me for getting hit by the mud the kids were throwing, too. I was half sorry we didn’t get married just so I could see that, though. It definitely would have ruined his whole trip.
I returned to the Hennessey House and entered the pub. Despite – or maybe because of – the crazy experience I’d just had, I was laughing to myself when I opened the door.
The boys’ sister, Ciara, was tending bar. She was tall and graceful, with long blonde hair and a narrow chin.
“Well, aren’t you a happy one,” she greeted me cheerfully. “Ciara Hennessey. You must be Shanna.”
“Nice to meet you,” I smiled. “And yes, I just met the McDonnells down the road.”
“Oh, my,” she laughed. The little bells that were dangling from her pointed ears chimed. “In that case, let me get you a pint on the house. I think you need a drink after an experience like that.”
“It’s kind of early for a beer, isn’t it?”
“It’s never too early for a Guinness, love,” she assured.
“Okay then, thanks.”
Well, when in Rome.
I grabbed my pint and turned around to look for a seat. While I did so, Ciara send a calling spell to the back that I was there.
I heard two people rushing out into the pub and by the time I sat down at a wooden table, Brody and Ryan were on either side of me. They each had a pint in their hand.
“How’d it go with your kin?” asked Ryan, his green eyes fixed on my face. “You didn’t buy anything did ye?”
“Let’s hope she didn’t get something stolen. Check your fingers for all your rings,” suggested Brody.
He took my hand in his own and patted it lightly.
“They are quite an interesting bunch,” I laughed. “Thanks for the heads up, Ryan. I don’t think I would’ve made it out alive without it.”
“Ah, it was the least I could do,” he said. “But truth be told, we would’ve come to rescue you, should it have come to that. Who did you meet?”
“Ailbe and Fiona and their sons, Ronald and Terry,” I explained. “Oh, and a bunch of children who like to play in the mud and throw it at people. Namely, me.”
I gestured to my clothes and at some of the mud stains.
“Fiona said they had ten kids,” I noted.
Both boys nodded.
“So, you met Ronald, eh?” said Brody, grinning. “Did he have pants on this time?”
“No,” I laughed.
“He never does,” said Brody.
He tapped the top of his glass of Guinness in a happy rhythm.
“You don’t need pants if you don’t have a job,” Ryan added.
Brody and I nodded. We sipped our pints of Guinness. They were cold and refreshing. There was a lot of taste in that beer.
They say that beer is one of the most complex things you can taste in the world. I wasn’t a huge beer drinker, but I did like the Guinness. Guess it was in my blood.
“I’m just very glad you’re safe,” Ryan added. That explained why they both looked so happy and relieved. “Honestly, we were a bit worried for ye.”
“Why are the McDonnells so… what’s the word I’m looking for? In America, we’d call them something not very polite,” I said diplomatically.
“White Trash?” suggested Ryan.
“Trailer Trash?” suggested Brody.
“White Trailer Trash?” suggested Ryan, raising a blonde eyebrow.
“The last one is not a thing,” I explained. “But the other two takes are pretty close. Or maybe like rednecks or hicks or hillbillies or bumpkins.”
I supposed there were a lot of words we had for people like the McDonnells in the States. I had just never had an opportunity to use them, because my family back home wasn’t like this clan of the McDonnells.
Love’s Hallow was a respectable place, where usually only fantastical creatures lived. We obeyed the laws and didn’t try to sell illegal spells or stolen eyephones or let the kids run wild in the streets, throwing mud at people instead of attending school. And the non-magical people who did come in were business types, and not at all like the McDonnells.
“The McDonnells have a bad rep for drunkenness and mayhem,” explained Brody. “I had to throw more than a few out of this pub. They also dabble in illegal spells and charms.”
“And they still owe us money,” added Ryan. “Don’t worry. You won’t see them come in here.”
“Derek, my ex, would’ve been out of his mind if he had come on this trip,” I told them. “I mean, he is bad enough in a hotel that he doesn’t think is clean. In a place like that, he would’ve had a fit!”
“Bit of a princess, this Derek?” suggested Brody.
He leaned back in his chair.
“Oh, he was the worst when it came to stuff like that. The worst!” I laughed.
I liked how comfortable it was to talk to the two elves.
“I should’ve seen the red flags, but I guess I was just too blind,” I admitted. “It’s amazing what you blind yourself to when you’re getting into a relationship and when you’re in the middle of it. Then you get out and it’s like, how didn’t I see that, ya know?”
“Aye,” agreed Brody, his jolly green eyes turning dark. “Some of us get into relationships and are in over our heads. They can’t handle it, especially the break up part.”
Brody looked at his brother when he said this. Ryan seemed a little insulted and added his own take.
“Oh, aye, Brody,” said Ryan with a sneer. He leaned towards his brother over the table. “And some of us have so many short-term relationships that we never function as anything higher than serial dater level. Just jumping from bed to bed with no rhyme or reason. It’s almost as if they just want girls to use them up and toss them aside!”
Ryan and Brody seemed to be having their own conversation on a different level. I got the weird sense they were trying to one-up each other.
I wasn’t sure why they were doing that, especially in front of me. In any event, I had already been subject to having to witness enough bickering today, and I wanted the atmosphere to return to being jovial and relaxed like it had been a moment ago.
I cleared my throat, bringing their gazes back to me.
“Anyhow, Derek meeting my relatives would’ve be
en a disaster,” I explained. “There was no way he would’ve lasted. I think he might’ve divorced me on the spot!”
“He’d be a fool to do that,” said Ryan. He reached over and ran a hand down one of my light-red curls. “You don’t judge a person by their relatives.”
“Thank God for that!” said Brody, looking right at his brother.
Ryan glared back.
I traced a pattern on the table with my finger, remembering the past.
“At first, I thought Derek was charming and stable. He had a good job and a schedule that didn’t change,” I told them.
“That sounds about as much fun as a dental visit,” said Brody. “And just about as surprising.”
I tried not to spit out the sip of Guinness I had just taken, while I laughed. But then I became somber again as I reflected on things.
“I don’t know what I saw in him sometimes,” I lamented. “What was I thinking?”
“Relationships should be about passion, I believe,” said Brody, rubbing my arm gently. “Passion over practicality.”
“A marriage can still be stable and fun,” countered Ryan. “If there’s no stability, there’s no relationship.”
“You guys are really getting into my personal life,” I said, looking at both their faces. “Are you two into me? Not that I’m discouraging you; I just want to know.”
“That depends, love,” said Brody. He raised an eyebrow and leaned in towards me. “Which one of us do you find attractive?”
“Ah, ha! Trick question!” I countered. “You’re both incredibly handsome. Wait, did I say that out loud?”
I couldn’t believe how bold I was being. I supposed it was the beer, and the fact that they were being pretty brazen, too. It was like we fueled each other on.
We continued to laugh and flirt for a while. Before I knew it, we were three pints deep.
I was not used to drinking during the day. It was barely noon by the time I had a fourth pint and there was no way I was going to finish it.
“The thing about you two is this,” I said. “You two are straight shooters. You just say whatever is on your mind. Derek was such a weenie. Always playing mind games, ya know? And lying! Oh, my God, the lies.”
“Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship,” agreed Ryan.
He had his strong elf arm over the back of my chair at this point. We all were a little tipsy.
“And discretion,” added Brody. He twisted his fingers, working a spell to make little flower petals appear in the air. “If you’re going to leave your fiancée for her younger sister, at least don’t embarrass her about it.”
“My point exactly!” I slapped the table, then jumped at the noise.
It was louder than I was expecting.
A sprite and his wife were flying past our seats at that very moment. They both glared at us and fled to the bar, where Ciara was waiting to serve them. I giggled at their fleeting expression.
Trying to be quieter, I leaned into the table.
“Why’d he have to do that? It was so embarrassing, what he did. What she did! They were just so… out in the open about it! Kissing and everything. At least have the decency to be a bit embarrassed about what you’re doing and try to hide it like a secret.”
“Yeah, but then you wouldn’t have found out about it in time,” Brody mused.
Good point, I thought, while I nodded my head at him. I liked his pragmatic way of thinking. It would have been way worse to have found out this fact after I went through with the wedding.
“I can only imagine what you’re going through, Shanna,” sympathized Ryan. He put a hand on my shoulder and rubbed it. I had to admit it felt great, his hand on my body, massaging me. “When Julia left me, I was devastated. I didn’t know where to turn. I thought I would crawl inside a bottle and never come out. Fortunately, I had my family.”
“Yeah and we drank the rest of the bottle, so he couldn’t get that drunk!” joked Brody.
Ryan glared at him and sent little strikes of lightening through Brody’s flower petals.
“And there were a fair amount of new lasses that I introduced him to after Julia had left,” Brody continued, whipping burnt petals onto the floor.
“A fair amount?” Ryan objected to the description. “You call one a fair amount? Rebecca’s the only girl you introduced me to and she was your girlfriend at the time.”
Brody stretched his arms and leaned back in his chair.
“Yeah, but I broke up with her so you could get her on the rebound,” he offered. “You see what a great brother I am?”
I laughed. The elves had a great dynamic. The whole family did, really. It was so effortless and fun. Not at all like the McDonnells I had just been visiting, or even my own family back home. The Hennesseys didn’t seem to have an ounce of bitterness inside them. Except for when they were fighting a moment ago – and I was beginning to have a feeling that that was because they were fighting over me.
I had to admit that it felt great to have two men wanting me at the same time. They were each jealous of the other, and hoping to win me.
I had no idea which one I would pick, if it were to become a reality – but I sure enjoyed knowing I was the subject of their competition, especially after I had been feeling so down in the dumps about my called-off engagement, and the fact that the McDonnells had called me homely and said that Nora must be better-looking than I was.
“The thing of it is,” said Ryan. “Your groom did you a favor, Shanna. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with him now? Raising his children and all?”
“Oh, God, no!” I said in disgust. I leaned my head back onto Ryan’s strong arm. It was comforting. “When you put it that way, it’s obvious. I mean, at this point, the whole thing is more of an inconvenience than anything.”
“Well, you got a nice trip to Ireland out of the whole ordeal,” noted Brody. “Any excuse to come here is a good one, I say. I, for one, am glad you’re here in Luck’s Hollow and specifically at Hennessy House here with us. If your groom hadn’t done all this, we never would’ve met ye.”
He winked at me.
“And that would be a tragedy,” said Ryan, twirling a lock of my hair in his fingers.
“A terrible tragedy,” said Brody, getting closer and trying to one up him.
“Boys, boys,” I laughed, running a finger down Brody’s jawline. “You’re really trying too hard. Just too hard.”
“What’s that then?” asked Ryan.
“All this attention,” I explained. “I get it, you’re trying to cheer me up. Take it down a notch.”
“We’re not just trying to cheer you up,” assured Ryan. “We’re generally interested in you, Shanna. At least I am. Not so sure about my brother here.”
“Actually, Shanna and I made eye contact first,” said Brody. “I think the spark was instant from the time we met. That may be presumptuous of me, but I think that’s fair to say, isn’t it, love?”
“Oh, my God!” I said putting my head down on the table.
I must’ve turned beet red. These guys were definitely fighting over me. I loved it, naturally, but I didn’t want it to get physical or anything. With me, yes — with them, no.
Wait, what am I saying? God, I’m drunk. I should not have had that fourth pint. The pints here in Ireland are so big and strong… just like the elves.
“The thing is,” Ryan continued. “Her fiancé picked the younger sister. Stands to reason she should pick the younger brother. That’s a perfect revenge.”
“Revenge against whom? That makes no sense!” objected Brody. “You’re drunk.”
“No, you’re drunk,” countered Ryan. “I’m just increasingly interesting.”
At this point, I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants. I mean, the timing of these two — it was like something right out of a stage play. You could hear the banter back and forth. No actor could recreate this as if it was said so spontaneously.
“You know what would cheer
you up?” suggested Ryan. “A nice dinner at the Thistle and Sheep. It’s the best restaurant in town.”
“That’s a good suggestion,” said Brody. “That’s just where I’ll take her.”
“I’ll take her,” corrected Ryan. “The hostess owes me a favor.”
“Don’t act like getting a table there is something special,” countered Brody. “This time of year, and in this small of a town, it’s easy to get a table. I can book the reservation now on my phone.”
“No, I’ll book it,” countered Ryan. “You’re so drunk, you’ll probably book it for six in the morning.”
“Wait, who is going now?” I asked, looking at one elf brother, then the other. Both sets of green eyes looked back at me, hot and desirable. “We should all go. That’s fair.”
“A table for three, then?” suggested Ryan, carefully. “If you can’t make it, brother, I’d understand.”
“And I’d understand if you couldn’t make it,” said Brody. “Ya know, out of consideration for a great couple that Shanna and I would make. You could bow out of this thing now, without suffering any embarrassment.”
“The only embarrassment will be the fact that you’ll be a third wheel on our date,” Ryan said, taking my hand.
“Our date,” corrected Brody, grabbing my other hand.
“Well, I know one thing,” I laughed. “I have a date. Hahahaha!”
“If you don’t want him to go, Shanna,” said Brody, raising my palm to his lips and kissing it, “say the word. Ya know, he used to wet the bed when he was four?”
“It’s funny you remember that, Brody,” said Ryan. “I seem to recall that you had an STD scare a few months back because you forgot a condom. Not very responsible, is it?”
“And when’s the last time you had cause to use one, then?” retorted Brody. “Unless, of course, you were making balloon animals and ran out of balloons.”
“Boys! Boys!” I said. “Are you fighting over me? Because I won’t lie. It’s pretty awesome. But, no, you should stop. Wait, maybe just a few more minutes…”
I felt a blush spread over my cheeks. I was definitely drunk, to be this flirty and open with them. Or maybe they just brought out my naughtiness – my bad witch side.