The Moth and the Flame

by Reid, B. B.

  “It’s missing something,” Ever said to no one in particular.

  We all studied Ever’s sketch, and after a full minute passed, I figured we’d all drawn a blank until Jamie shouted, “Pigtails!”

  “When have you ever seen Four wear pigtails?” Tyra argued.

  “Maybe she should,” he shot back with a grin. “And high…like a naughty girl.”

  Frowning, Tyra propped a hand on her hip. “How would you—”

  “Know?” Jamie finished. “Those walls upstairs are thinner than you think.” He winked, causing Tyra to blush before scowling at Vaughn. It seemed Jamie knew more than Tyra was comfortable with.

  While Jamie and Tyra bickered back and forth, I studied the wicked looking skull and concluded that Jamie was right although, as usual, his delivery sucked. Even for a tomboy like Four, the skull was too masculine. The pigtails would help soften it and even give it a Harley Quinn vibe. And what guy didn’t want their very own Harley Q?

  Still, I wasn’t a part of their inner circle, so I didn’t think they’d welcome me taking sides. Glancing at Vaughn, I wondered if he’d step in, but unfortunately, he looked his usual bored self as he tossed back peanut M&Ms.

  “He’s right,” I heard myself saying. I instantly regretted it when Tyra and Jamie immediately fell silent, and Vaughn paused mid-chew.

  Ever was slower to react, but when he looked over his shoulder, he didn’t seem at all annoyed. Only curious. “Yeah?”

  I slowly nodded when I couldn’t find my voice. I wasn’t usually passive, but it was safe to say that I’d lost myself in those mountains. When Ever smirked and lifted a brow, as if goading me to grow a pair, I cleared my throat and said more firmly, “Draw the pigtails.”

  He held my gaze for a few more seconds, and when I wouldn’t fold, he turned back around with an approving nod and said, “Sounds good.”

  He began to sketch, and I could feel his friends watching me as we all stood around waiting for him to finish. All the while, I wondered where Four was at the moment. I shrugged figuring she was walking Jay D.

  “It’s still missing something,” Vaughn said when Ever finished.

  “It needs color,” Jamie said.

  “How about yellow?” Tyra suggested. “It’s her favorite color.”

  “Yellow won’t be as eye-catching as purple,” I pointed out.

  “It should be pink,” Vaughn voiced.

  With a snort, I said, “I’ve known Four about five minutes now, and even I know she won’t be caught dead in anything pink.”

  “Careful,” Vaughn said, and I was taken aback by his blatant contempt. “You’re new here.”

  Ever frowned disapprovingly at his best friend while Jamie rolled his eyes, and Tyra nudged me with her elbow. “He’s just grumpy. Ignore him. I usually do,” she muttered.

  Jamie leaned over and laughingly whispered in my ear. “Ask her why he’s grumpy though.”

  “Something tells me you already know,” I whispered back.

  “Yup,” he whispered a little too proudly. “She’s been leaving his balls fifty shades of blue lately. I’m talking no hand jobs, blow jobs, or any jobs.”

  Jamie’s laugh was infectious, but even then, I still felt my stomach turning as I sneaked a peek at Vaughn. Our eyes met, and I could see from the way his green eyes glowed that his anger had nothing to do with Tyra. He was wary of me. He might even hate me. Now I just needed to figure out why.

  Jay D ran into the kitchen, and when Four appeared seconds later, everyone kind of moved at once. Ever hurriedly flipped his notebook closed while Jamie grabbed Four in a bear hug and twirled her around for no good reason.

  “Jamie, what are you doing? I want to see what Ever was drawing.”

  “Have I told you lately that you’re hot as hell?” Jamie cooed.

  “Yeah, last night…when you tried to cop a feel.”

  Ever’s head whipped around so fast I was surprised his neck didn’t snap. “What?” He growled as he shot to his feet. The stool he was sitting on would have toppled over if I hadn’t caught it.

  Looks like I might catch that elbow, after all.

  “Calm down, cousin,” Jamie drawled. His gaze never left Four as he set her on her feet. “She’s just trying to get you to punch me.”

  Four’s eyes twinkled, confirming Jamie’s claim.

  “Come on,” Ever said, inserting himself between them. “Let’s get this over with.”

  “Get what over with?” Tyra inquired.

  “I’m teaching him how to ride,” Four announced as she led a reluctant Ever out of the kitchen by the hand. Jay D didn’t hesitate to follow. The rest of us shared a look, and we all seemed to be thinking the same thing. A second later, we were pushing and shoving to get through the door first.

  “Oh, this should be good,” Jamie said when we made it outside. He was rubbing his hands together with a mischievous smile.

  Four and Ever were standing by her bike, and she was talking as she pointed to different things. Ever listened with his arms crossed while looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Jay D sat dutifully by his side, tongue wagging as he watched his mama.

  “I’m her best friend,” Tyra griped an hour later as we sat on the steps watching the spectacle playing out in the driveway. Ever did not make a good student, and Four was beginning to lose her patience. “She never even offered me lessons.”

  “It’s not about the lessons,” Vaughn told her. “Ever’s mother just showed up after four years. His head is fucked up. This”—he waved to where Ever was straddling the bike and nuzzling Four’s neck, making her blush and grin—“is a distraction.”

  “Where is Evelyn anyway?” Tyra asked, voicing my thoughts.

  It was Jamie who answered her. “Unc arranged for her to stay in a rental nearby.”

  “Does Rosalyn know that?” Vaughn asked.

  Jamie chortled. “God no.”

  The three of them talked and joked among themselves while I traced every crack and crevice in the ground to keep myself from thinking about Wren.

  “Jamie, you’re sitting awfully close to Lou,” Four teased as she and Ever approached. “Give it up already. She doesn’t want to be your girlfriend.”

  I was still staring at the ground when I heard Jamie say, “What do you say, Lou? Wanna give it a try?”

  My head shot up, and I frowned at him. “What?”

  “You and me. Girlfriend and boyfriend. Think of the mischief we’ll cause.” His eyebrows waggled, making me chuckle.

  “Sure, Jamie. Why the fuck not?”

  His eyes shone with delight making me second-guess if he was joking or not. “Seal it with a kiss?” Jamie’s soft lips stole mine before I could tell him no, and even in my surprise, I couldn’t help but notice that he was a damn good kisser. Before I could pull away, I heard the deep rumble of an engine that sounded all too familiar.

  Paula.

  Heart racing, I snatched away from Jamie as my entire body flushed. Shit. What if he saw?

  I forced myself to calm down, realizing that I didn’t owe Wren my loyalty or an explanation. He was the one who ruined us.

  Maybe I should fuck Jamie.

  Who better to exorcise Wren completely?

  I peeked at Jamie and found him staring straight ahead with only a barely-there smirk to tell me what he was thinking. I sighed, knowing screwing someone else wouldn’t cure my broken heart.

  I heard the Impala shut off and then a car door slam shut. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to look at Wren for the first time since learning he was a murderer.

  He lied to me.

  Wren was maybe three steps away before Jamie suddenly stood, blocking him from getting to me, and Ever, to my astonishment, joined him.

  I gaped at them even though they couldn’t see me with their backs turned.

  So much for being a lone wolf.

  Ever and Jamie had just made it clear that I was now part of a pack—whether I liked it or not. I looked around. Four, T
yra, and even Vaughn as he stood to join Ever and Jamie, wore equally hostile expressions. My gut told me that none of them were going to make it as easy to push away as the Hendersons had.

  “We really need to learn to lock that gate,” Jamie muttered.

  Ever grunted, his only response as he waited for Wren to make his move.

  I hugged my legs to my chest and waited, too.

  “Lou, come here,” Wren ordered, ignoring both Ever and Jamie. I should have known, even in the wrong, he’d never be anything else but arrogant. The ache in my belly intensified along with disgust at myself for actually wanting to go to him.

  “What do you want?” I asked him quietly.

  “To talk…to explain.”

  Feeling rage overcome my vulnerability, I shot to my feet and pushed past the wall Ever, Jamie, and Vaughn had made. I felt the heat from their bodies on my back as they closed ranks around me. “You had the chance to explain, and you just sat there. Do you want to know why, Wren? It’s because there was nothing to say then, and there’s nothing to say now.”

  “I was going to tell you, Lou.”

  “When?” I shouted. “After you grew tired of fucking me?”

  He shoved his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t want to touch you until you knew the truth but you—”

  “Right,” I cut him off. “It’s my fault.”

  “No!” His chest started to heave, and after a few seconds, he forced himself to calm down. “You convinced me that it wouldn’t matter what I did, and I was selfish enough to believe it.”

  “Killing my parents and believing that it wouldn’t matter to me doesn’t just make you selfish, Wren. It makes you a fool.”

  He flinched and looked away. Behind me, I heard a feminine gasp and was genuinely surprised that Jamie nor Ever had spilled the beans. They all seemed pretty tight, but Wren had just taught me that, close or not, we all had our secrets.

  “I didn’t,” he said after a long and tense silence.

  “You didn’t what?” I snapped.

  He turned his head, nostrils flaring as he met my gaze. “I didn’t kill them, Lou.”

  I didn’t react at first, but then I felt my hands ball as I turned his words over in my head. He didn’t kill them? How could he say that to me? How could he lie?

  Before I knew it, I lunged forward and slammed my fist into his nose. Satisfaction and adrenaline rushed through me, so I did it again but aimed for his eye this time. He didn’t even try to protect himself when I went for a third, but a hand suddenly clamped around my wrist kept me from doling out more punishment.

  “Let her go,” Wren growled to whoever held me.

  “So you can get your ass kicked?” Jamie mocked. “Happy to, although I’m pretty sure she’s hurting herself more than she’s hurting you.”

  I realized Jamie was right, and I grimaced. Not only was my hand throbbing from the pain but my heart twisted so cruelly seeing him bleed that I almost cried out.

  It wasn’t fair. I shouldn’t care, not this much and not at all.

  I cradled my hand against my chest, and Wren’s gaze followed and darkened. I could tell he wanted to comfort me but knew I’d scratch his eyes out if he tried.

  He sighed and looked wary when he met my gaze again. “Fox talks small businesses into cutting him into their profits in exchange for protecting their interests. He’s the biggest threat to any of them, and they all know it, so they pay up. Usually.” He took a deep breath. “After I convinced Fox to let me work for him, I still had to prove myself like everyone else. Every initiation is different. Some have to complete a task, and some have to take a beating. It’s always their choice. I was the only one not given one. Fox had set his sights on your parents’ bodega, but they wouldn’t budge, so…he tasked me with convincing them to pay up.”

  “And when you couldn’t, you killed them.” It wasn’t a question.

  “I couldn’t convince them, but I didn’t kill them, Lou. I begged them to run, but when they told me they had a daughter, I panicked. I didn’t give a fuck about who they were leaving behind. I couldn’t have their blood on my hands. I pulled my gun out, and I tried to make them leave with me, but it was too late. Fox had been watching, waiting. He knew all along that I wouldn’t go through with it.”

  “What happened?” I snapped when he became mute.

  “Lou—”

  “Tell me,” I demanded without mercy. There was nothing he could say or do to hurt me any more than he already had.

  “Fox had them tortured, and he made me watch. He wanted me to remember their screams and how they begged for death the next time I chose mercy.”

  “And you still worked for him?”

  His eyes narrowed. “Do you honestly think I had a choice after that?”

  No. I didn’t. The moment he’d gone to Fox, I knew he was already in too deep. Still, I wasn’t about to give him an inch. Compassion and understanding wouldn’t bring my parents back.

  “What about the one-way ticket to Paris that the cops found?” I grilled. “What about my parents’ bank accounts that had been emptied? Did Fox do that too?”

  He frowned, but when his expression cleared as if understanding dawned, he looked away. It was a few seconds before my heart sank.

  They had been planning to leave me, after all.

  I felt the wall behind me push in closer, ready to let me lean on them. I shouldn’t have been ready to accept them after my parents and Wren all let me down, but I knew I couldn’t go on never allowing anyone close. I had to leave my heart open to pain. It was the only way to strengthen it. Each lash was a lesson and each scar left behind a new stronghold. All the love I’d wasted on the wrong people was now returning to me tenfold.

  “What do you want from me, Wren?” My voice reflected the weariness I held in my heart. I refused to cry anymore.

  “You deserved to know the truth.”

  “And you were expecting me to forgive you.”

  I realized he left himself completely open as he gazed into my eyes. “Hoping,” he said the moment I felt my resolve melting.

  “Let’s say I do forgive you…what does that mean for us?” My heart galloped in my chest as I waited for him to answer.

  “Whatever you want.”

  I chewed on my lip as I looked away. “You didn’t hurt my parents, Wren, but that doesn’t change anything. Not only did you lie to me for nearly three years, I know you’ll never let that guilt go, so…maybe you were right. Maybe we only stand a chance as friends.” I took a deep breath and faced him again. “And only friends.”

  “Just friends?” He took a step that was threatening but somehow my pussy clenched and warmed, finding it promising. “Because of you, I stopped thinking of us as friends and started seeing you as mine.” His heated glare shifted to the three males hovering behind me, and the warning was clear. “Just mine.”

  I heard a snort that I knew came from Jamie and was thankful when he chose not to goad him further.

  I lifted my chin, and Wren paused in his tracks. “It’s friends or nothing, Wren. Take it or leave it.”

  Later that night, there was a single, hard knock before the door to Four’s room flew open, and Jamie burst in. “What’s up, ladies? Four.”

  She didn’t bother looking up from her phone as she flipped him off. I had the feeling from the heat pinking her cheeks that she was busy sexting with Ever. After I’d given Wren his ultimatum, he’d left without a word, but the promise I’d glimpsed in his eyes just before he turned away kept me from knowing what to think.

  Jamie crossed the room and shoved open the window before taking up a seat on the wide sill with one foot hanging from the window and the other planted on the floor. He then dug in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, popped one in his mouth and then dug for a lighter.

  “Jamie, I don’t want my room smelling like smoke.”

  “Hence, the open window, kitten.” He ignored the rest of Four’s protests and lit up. Jay D, enamored by the ne
wcomer, rushed to his side, and Jamie greeted him with a cloud of smoke blown in his face. Jay D barked but didn’t move away, so Jamie took another drag with a twinkle in his eye.

  Seeing this, Four rushed over and grabbed her baby before Jamie could do it again. “I don’t think there is a person in this room who won’t say that you fell out that window and broke every bone in your body.”

  “You wouldn’t dare and not because your balls aren’t big enough but because you’d have no one to use when you need to make Ever jealous.”

  “And why would I need to make Ever jealous?”

  “Because his attention is divided.” He looked over at Tyra, who was painting her nails. “You’re shit at that,” he remarked.

  I couldn’t argue with him and neither could Tyra as she frowned at her toes.

  “Well, if you’re going to crash our slumber party,” Tyra griped, “you should at least make yourself useful.”

  He didn’t respond other than to lift his lithe yet powerful body from the window and stroll unhurriedly to the tall white chest in the corner of Four’s room where an iPod was hooked to a pill-shaped speaker.

  “Thief.” He snarled at Four before plucking the last of his cigarette from his lips and putting it out on the pristine wood.

  “Jamie!”

  He ignored her and thumbed through the iPod. ‘She Loves Me Not’ by Papa Roach came through the speakers, and Four cocked her head with a teasing smile.

  “Something on your mind, James?”

  “Bite me,” he said before taking a seat on the bed and yanking Tyra’s foot into his lap.

  “Careful!” she scolded. “I’m delicate.”

  “But your tongue is sharp,” he retorted with a snicker. “If you’re looking for ways to get Vaughn to stick around, I wouldn’t suggest giving him a blow job.”

  Twenty minutes later, he was applying a final coat of red polish to Tyra’s toes.

  “Good boy.” She patted the top of his head, so he pushed her feet off his lap, making her shriek and inspect her toes for smeared polished.

  Sighing, he looked between Four and me. “Who’s next?”

  Four snorted, so I wiggled my toes in invitation and tossed him one of Tyra’s many blue polishes.