The Promise

by Ford, Mia

  “Why must you fight me on everything?” Dad shakes his head. “It’s pointless, just tell him.”

  I slam open the fridge and pop open a can of soda. Dad hates that I insist on having these, which is why I must always have them. I pop one open enjoying the hissing sound and I slug it back quickly enough to make myself belch. He’s pissing me off today, almost more than usual, and I want revenge.

  “Right, fine. I’m going.” I kick the table childishly, hurting my foot as I do. “Whatever.”

  I stalk out of the kitchen rapidly, anger burning and bubbling in my chest as I do. I feel like I’m in limbo at the moment, I’m just waiting for the moment that my real life can begin, and with each passing day I grow more impatient. It sits in my throat like a bitter pill I can’t quite swallow, stinging on the way down.

  Asshole! I wanted to scream. What a fucking asshole.

  “Hello there, Jamie.” As a complete contrast to my own father, Mr. Burns smiles genuinely at me with a true warmth. “How are you doing today? Your dad said you have some events to attend next week?”

  My mood evaporates, he just has this way of making me feel better. I wish he could be my father instead of the monster inside who wants to control my every move. I can tell that he just wants the best for his daughter and he doesn’t know quite how to achieve it. I’m sure he’s super supportive for whatever it is Lydia wants.

  God, I wish I knew what Lydia wants to do with her life…

  “Urgh, yeah I think so.” I let out a little laugh, but it isn’t one filled with mirth. “Not that I want to go.”

  “No, I know, you never do.” Mr. Burns chuckles. “But we all have our crosses to bear.”

  I squeeze my lips tightly together. I suppose my dad is right about one thing. To a man like Mr. Burns it was likely I had it all, so I didn’t want to seem like one of those whiny rich kids who acts like a brat.

  “I don’t actually know my schedule right now, so I’ll just go and get it. I’ll be right back.”

  I practically jog back inside and grab the calendar off the wall. My dad could do this really, he’s the one who has the power over everything, but it’s just to make me get involved. He wants to prove a point. Once I get back outside, my jog slows to a walk, I almost stop completely and all because she is there. Lydia Burns, talking to her father outside of my house as if she totally belongs there. Immediately, my pulse speeds up, my lungs squeeze shut, I feel a delicious electric sizzle tear through my veins at a million miles an hour. She has every inch of me reacting to her and I can’t seem to stop. None of the other girls make me feel this way, which is why it can only be her. I harbour the belief that she’s the one for me, I just need to be allowed to make her mine.

  Urgh, my fucking life. How can I not be with the woman that I love?

  For a moment, I do actually stop and I stare at her, my mouth salivating with need. My instincts want to wrap around her, to hold her close, to touch the soft skin of her curves. I have to imagine that after fantasizing over her for such a long time, if I do ever get my hands on her it’ll be the most incredible thing ever.

  “He… here,” I stammer as soon as I float close enough. “My schedule.”

  Lydia turns to face me, her hair flicking across her eye as she does, and the moment our eyes connect I feel intense bolts of lightning crashing through my system. It explodes at my core, probably in a really obvious way, causing a slight blush to form in my cheeks. Lydia must know how I feel about her, it’s so damn obvious by now, and I kind of think that maybe she might like me too. I get little signs every now and again. I just wish that one of us – me really, I would love it to be me – would make the first move already.

  “Thank you.” Mr. Burns takes the paper from me. “Let me go and get my laptop and I’ll get it all scheduled in.” He darts his eyes between me and Lydia. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

  As soon as he leaves Lydia and I alone, I feel much too aware of my body. I want to think of something smart to say, but there’s nothing. My brain is fuzzy and foggy. I have nothing. Instead, I keep darting my eyes towards Lydia as if I’m looking at the sun. I can’t do it for too long in one go.

  God, she’s beautiful. She really is everything.

  3

  Lydia

  My heart pounds up in my throat, the air surrounding me feels thick, I’m almost dizzy with the heady lust. Even being this close to Jamie makes me so dizzy I can barely keep standing. This is what Kerry doesn’t understand, if she could feel this sensation right now, she wouldn’t be telling me to leave things alone. She would get that I can’t. I mean, this sensation is magical, it’s special. I can’t pretend it isn’t happening, and I also can’t act like anyone else makes me feel this way. There isn’t anyone else in the world. It’s only him.

  “So… how are things with school?” he asks me, a little awkwardly. “You must be almost finished.”

  As he speaks, his chocolaty smooth voice brings a redness to my cheeks. I feel utterly consumed by embarrassment because I’ll never be as cool as him. Or the girls he usually spends time with. Still, he’s alone right now and we’re talking. If I can just think of something to say this might be the magical moment he realizes that I have always been the one for him, waiting in the wings patiently until he’s ready for me.

  God, I would absolutely love for that moment to come around. The sooner, the better.

  “Erm, yeah. Almost done completely.” I nod slowly. “I don’t know what I’ll do then.”

  Jamie’s eyes glaze over and for a second, I wonder if I’m boring him. That is until he speaks out once more. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I graduated last year and I still feel a little lost, like I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  That takes me aback. I thought he had it all. He doesn’t need to do anything, he can get by with no career… but maybe he wants one, I guess that’s something I haven’t ever bothered to find out about Jamie.

  “Oh, well that gives me a little hope.” I giggle awkwardly. “At least I’m not the only one. It seems like everyone has their life plan together and I’m still floating by just guessing what my next move will be.”

  Our eyes connect, and for a moment I feel an intense pull from him. There’s more of a bond now than we’ve ever had before. Even though we’re very different, there are things that we have in common. If we wanted to be together than I’m sure it could really work… but of course, I’m getting way ahead of myself here.

  “Trust me, the one thing you learn from leaving high school is that no one really has an idea. They all do a big talk, but none of them actually mean it. We’re all just getting by as best we can.”

  I toss my head back and laugh loudly, finally feeling myself loosen a little bit. I might have known Jamie from afar for a number of years, but we don’t actually know each other. I feel a little closer to him now. I like the way that feels, it’s awesome. It makes me want to sidle up to him, to tuck myself under his arm, and to learn more. Of course, I can’t actually do that… not unless I want to put him off me forever more for being a freak.

  “You know, we haven’t actually hung out much, have we?” Jamie asks while tapping his finger against his chin thoughtfully. Immediately, my back stiffens and I prepare myself for something that I’ve wanted but haven’t dared hope for the entire time I’ve known him. “Maybe we should rectify that at some point?”

  Would I just be another girl through those revolving doors if I say yes? I ask myself desperately. Much as I so want to be with him, the last thing I need is to get my heart shattered. I could go into this knowingly and still be destroyed on the other side… But if I say no now, will I get another chance? Maybe this is a one-time thing.

  I part my lips, ready to give some sort of answer even if I’m not quite sure what, but before I get the chance to say anything, my father comes into ear shot cutting the conversation dead before it has time to get into full flow. Half of me wants to murder my dad right now, can he not see that something dramatic is happen
ing here? But on the other hand, I’m glad because now things can remain mysterious. Much as I want to delve into things, I’m scared that once I do everything will change… and not necessarily for the better.

  What the hell is wrong with you? I curse myself. This is a dream come true, you idiot.

  “Lyds? Mr. Vardi wants a word with you inside, if that’s okay?” Dad says quietly.

  “Huh?” My heart begins to race again, only this time with terror rather than happiness. “Why?”

  Mr. Vardi has never shown even a scrap of interest in me before so this is really strange. He doesn’t even look at me ever, it’s like I’m not worthy of his eyes, but now he wants to speak to me? What the hell has changed? It can’t be a good thing, surely? I give Dad a look but he simply shrugs helplessly back at me.

  “I don’t know, sweetheart, but you better go quick because then I need to take you home.”

  I gave Jamie a look, getting that tug in my chest once more. Now I won’t ever get to know if we’re going to spend more time together, at least not for today which is very frustrating. It’s really hard to tear myself away but I know my dad needs to talk to him about his schedule anyway, so it’s pointless.

  My footsteps feel noisy as I crunch along the ground, I can heart my pulse thundering through my body, hot blood rushes through my ears. Time slowed down while I was speaking to Jamie so now it’s speeding up again to catch itself back up. I feel all out of the loop like I can barely stand up anymore.

  I push the door to the house open and practically stagger inside. Mr. Vardi looms in the door frame with his hands folded across his chest, looking like the most terrifying, threatening presence in the world. The blood in my body that was hot only moments before is now icy cold. I feel petrified, like I’m about to be told off.

  “M… my dad said that you wanted to speak to me?” I stammer, feeling small and stupid. Jamie isn’t anything like his father, I don’t feel this way around him at all. “Is… is everything okay?”

  He runs his eyes up and down me a little too slowly, but I do my best to ignore the discomfort flooding me. I try my hardest to keep my spine straight and my chin jutted out. If I look confident, he might believe that I am.

  “Yes, Lydia, I do want to talk to you.” He practically drawls his words he draws them out for so long. “You are coming to the end of school now, aren’t you?” I nod silently, unsure of where the hell this is going. “Do you have any plans after school? I don’t want to step on any toes if you have something lined up?”

  “Er… no.” I raise one eyebrow questioningly. “I don’t have anything set up yet.”

  “Good, because I will need a secretary and I wanted you to be the first person who I offer the job to. Your father has always been a wonderful employee and he’s a good man too, so I would love to have you here.”

  Wow… this offer blows me away. It’s all too much. I need something, that much I already know, and I suppose this would be easy. Dad would be pleased too because at least it will be an income. And at least it would keep me close to Jamie… I suppose there’s always the fear that he might slip through my fingers.

  “Oh, right. That’s…” I clutch my hand to my chest in shock. “That’s a wonderful offer. Thank you.”

  “I would need you to help me with my paper work and also my social calendar. I’m involved in many different things and it isn’t always easy to keep track. Do you think that’s something you would be able to do? I would pay you well, of course, I know that I’ll be taking you away from a potential college education…”

  That’s like a stab in the heart. I have no college education coming my way. I don’t really have any choice. This is the only option that I have for the future, so realistically what else can I do? I need this.

  “Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it.” I nod enthusiastically. “That would be awesome.”

  “Great. I’ll get all the paper work drawn up for you then.” He extends out his hand and I shake it. “Then as soon as you finish school you can start working here. I shall be glad to have you on board.”

  He finally leaves me in the room, stunned and alone. What the hell just happened? I can’t believe it. I feel shell shocked. I’ve just been offered a job, and a good one too. Better than I could have hoped. I wonder how Dad will take the news. I hope he’ll be glad for me. I’m sure he will. And as for Jamie… well, who knows?

  I grab my cell phone out of my pocket and fire off a quick text to Kerry, needing to talk to someone sane about this. Kerry won’t hold back. I might not always like it but she always tells me what she really thinks.

  ‘K, Mr. Vardi just offered me a job! Is that nuts, or what? L x’

  I only have to wait a couple of seconds before I get my reply.

  ‘L, oh my God, I told you that you were to become wife number four! That’s insane, K x’

  I roll my eyes and chuckle to myself. I forgot she even said that! Trust Kerry to turn it into something seedy.

  ‘Don’t be so nuts, that’s never going to happen! I took the job though, at least I have a future…’

  ‘Yeah and a future very complicated love life. Rather you than me.’

  I feel a little annoyed about that. She’s got more choices than me it isn’t fair to put us in the same bracket.

  ‘It’ll be fine, I’m sure it’ll be alright. I hope… x’

  I stuff my cell phone back into my pocket and make my way outside. Kerry might be making a joke out of it, but this is pretty serious to me. I’m going to have to speak to Dad about it now, then really think about it. Spending every single day in the same house as Jamie was going to be something else…

  I spot him just leaving my dad and my heart reacts violently at the sight of him. Jamie Vardi is the one thing that makes this job feel even more appealing. In fact, now that I think about seeing him every day I can’t wait to finish school. Especially since he seems to be coming around to the idea of hanging out with me. I make a vow to myself that the next time he asks me out, I’ll say yes. It was just the shock, that’s all. I had to get my head around the idea of him maybe perhaps liking me, and now I’m very much used to it.

  He seems to sense my eyes upon him and he sends me a heart stopping smile. God, he’s lovely, he’s absolutely stunning, and if I play my cards right one day he might end up completely all mine. I might actually be able to wrap my arms around him and hold him close. Maybe even kiss him…

  4

  Jamie

  It seems like only minutes pass by before the spring sunshine of May turns into searing summer heat of early July. As much as I still feel a little lost, it’s impossible to be unhappy in the summer. I love it, it’s my favorite time of year by far. Everything feels better with the sun. I think the weather affects my mood a lot, I’m definitely one of those people whose unhappier in the cold, wet winter months, so this feels awesome.

  There’s a party feel to summer as well. I might not be in school any longer, but I still get that freedom vibe as if I’ve finally been let out of classes. That’s crazy really. I’m more than old enough to have a full time job where the summer wouldn’t be any different to winter, but since I’m still in limbo I’m very much stuck.

  A flash of brunette hair drags my attention away from the window, mainly because I don’t recognize it. No, actually that isn’t it. It’s because there’s something oddly familiar about it and it makes my body react. Those raven strands don’t belong to anyone who works here which means it’s someone different…

  “Who was that?” I demand to Sandi whose kimono keeps slipping off her shoulder in a very inappropriate way. She drags her eyes out of her trashy magazine and gives me a bleary eyed stare. “That girl?”

  “Oh, the boring looking one.” Sandi rolls her eyes dramatically. “Your father’s new secretary. But don’t worry. I’m not concerned about her. She’s a bit young and also she’s not as gorgeous as me.”

  Her words cause bile to rise in my throat. This woman is disgusting, she’s the opposite
of anything that anyone should want. I don’t know what my father sees in her, under all the plastic fakeness, she’s just more fake.

  “I’m not suggesting that it’s someone who wants to bone my father,” I snap back, maybe a little nastily. “I just want to know who it is that’s all. She’s someone new, right? I want to know who she is.”

  “Urgh, you’re so bored, aren’t you?” Sandi sneers as if she gets me. She doesn’t understand me at all. I haven’t let her in one bit. I don’t think she’ll be around forever, but even if she is she’ll have nothing to do with me. “You haven’t got anything better to do than pry into your dad’s business. Why don’t you get a hobby?” She smirks. “Because I haven’t seen you partying in your usual pass time recently. Where are all the girls?”

  I’ll be honest with myself, but of course, not with her. There haven’t been any for a while. Not since that day I spent some time talking to Lydia. Sure, that was a while ago now and things haven’t been any signs of things progressing between us since, but that’s only because I haven’t seen her. She’s been busy finishing up with high school. But that small chat was enough to have me know that I don’t want anything meaningless anymore.

  I want her… I have loved her from a distance forever and now I actually want us to become something. I almost got around to asking her as well, but we got interrupted. That won’t happen again, next time when I actually see her, I’ll get the question out. Or I’ll somehow let her know that I like her anyway. And that’s why I’m so obsessed with finding out who this is. I have a funny feeling that was her hair I saw back then.

  “My life really isn’t any of your business, Sandi, so I would appreciate it if you kept your nose out…”

  Ignoring me, Sandi smirks and she attempts to run a finger down my cheek. I snatch myself away rapidly, I can’t even entertain any of that behavior, it’s ridiculous. I cannot wrap my head around how she doesn’t get that yet. I’ve made my feelings on her even breathing near me very clear. It’s almost laughable.