Star Cursed (Madeira Citrine Book 1)

by C. Swallow

  As for the effect of being away from the diamonds, it was hard to understand what Seraphine explained a millennia ago, but now it made sense. Diamonds suppressed Dark Gem powers, their ability to drain, in turn they supported female Gem's access to magic. Mine was open, my magic was unstable now, and I was feeling...

  Oh gosh.

  I hate that I... that I want – I really...argh... I want Sabir.

  I want him to ease this feeling of being empty in my own way. Empty of his touch. Now? It's like my magic was calling to him.

  My thoughts are rattled and I have no idea what to do anymore.

  I forget about Celeste, Pharis, the traps.

  My eyes search on their own.

  Just a glimpse of Sabir would help, we had a connection that was special just to us. Something about his draining ability matched my magic absolutely perfectly.

  I can't get my mind off it.

  I was craving him desperately – I had only ever felt like this when he had mentally tortured me for years about how I was his play-thing, his slave. Always pleasuring, always teasing, always punishing me – because Traegr wanted me messed up in the head.

  The only type of fit princess to lead by Traegr's side was a princess who was weak, had little magic and was torn between freedom and lust. It was their perfect way of controlling me.

  And it had worked, for so long.

  I slowly sit down on the ground, needing to remember to breathe. I dig my fingers through the soil, in search of water. Any type of natural Kiyr water calmed me when I was in contact with it.

  I needed the river.

  The river.

  Yes.

  That would help centre my thoughts!

  Logic was totally lost on me for the moment. My instincts were running wild - all because of the withdrawal symptoms from those damn diamonds. But, I needed to focus. I really needed to. Right now. I needed to remember how important this war was. If I could hold off on my lust, just a little bit longer, we'd gain respect from the males through whatever magnificent plan Seraphine had in the works.

  "Breathe," I whisper to myself as I get to my feet.

  My thoughts ease a little.

  Even though I wanted to be in contact with water, this mission was more important. I couldn't stray, nor could I give into my need of Sabir's touch –

  My heart is suddenly in my throat.

  I'm pretty sure I hallucinate him just around the bend of nearby trees. I creep my way forward and poke my head around the side of a mossy trunk, freezing when I confirm my suspicions that he wasn't a figment of my imagination.

  It was him, no doubt.

  I'm a little flustered that he had been so close and I had had no idea.

  His back is to me as he scans the forest, looking for me.

  I suddenly realise he was too smart to just go searching from the point of the fire. He was coming around the 'back' way.

  I'm proud of myself though. I had spotted him first, that is what mattered. Now I had the upper hand.

  My brain may have been briefly swamped with feelings of defeat and confusion, but now I was latching on to the very thing that got me through time and time again – being my sneaky little self.

  I might not be able to fight him with magic, but I could play my own pranks.

  I wait until he has ventured up a bit further and I trail along behind him, my bare feet were near to silent as I carefully place my steps while following him. I stay hidden behind trees and eventually raise my hand, feeling for my control over water.

  A lazy, easy stream, flows out of my skin, it ducks under a tree and is guided by my will, towards the ground before him as he looks out in the adjacent direction. By the time he has decided to step forward, he instantly slips on the thick layer of water and fat healthy slippery leaves I had carried with my stream, to lay at his feet.

  I'm not disappointed when his fall is equally as ridiculous and dramatic as someone slipping on a banana peel. He slips backwards, landing on his surprised ass.

  The problem is, it's to funny not to react.

  I've already snorted loudly as I try to keep in a full-blown burst of laughter. So much for having the upper hand.

  He hears me.

  Before I can even duck for cover, while laying back on his elbows, he catches my eye when he looks over his shoulder.

  "You want to play games, princess?" Sabir drawls as he leaps back up to his feet. I don't bother to hide and he seems amused more than angry.

  "Don't hurt yourself," I mock back, "You're in unknown territory out here."

  I see Sabir relax when he realises I'm not running off yet. He shrugs and looks away, disinterested as he walks towards a tree and leans against it. Well, this was odd...

  "Go on, sweetheart," he nods towards the rest of the forest, "Run."

  "You don't want me?" I don't know why I ask it, and I sort of regret blurting it out when I do, "I know you're out here searching for me."

  I see him glance at his belt as he fiddles with it, a few weapons of choice were along the leather. He smirks to himself and I'm curious what he is thinking.

  "You see, princess... walking through this forest helps me sort through everything I'm going to do to you when I get my hands on you," Sabir drawls again, looking up at me through half hooded eyes, he doesn't even blink, "You may as well run. I'm still deciding on your punishment."

  I do not respond straight away. Instead I'm suddenly aware that he is more than confident he'll catch me. He wasn't even worried if I ran right now.

  Unless...

  ...I didn't do what he expected, I could take away his total control. Maybe.

  "You're as arrogant as ever, aren't you? I guess 1000 years just set that in stone. I can only imagine how frustrating my absence was to you. I pity you, Sabir, you must miss my hands... my lips... everything you use to have. You don't own this body anymore."

  Sabir listens to me for a moment but all humour leaves his eyes at my choice of words.

  "You done chatting, sweetheart?" Sabir leans up off the tree and starts walking towards me, there is a light of calculation in his eye as I don't run but... I stay where I am, "No comment? At all? Well... isn't that's refreshing, coming from you."

  I gulp as each step he takes, my magic starts to pulse through me.

  I'm entranced as he stops on the other end of the trunk. I realise I'm hugging the tree with one arm, leaning towards him. He puts his hand on top of mine on the bark of the tree. He was literally inches from me as he assesses my increasingly nervous eyes.

  Emotion and memories were flooding through me.

  Everything we had once had... I remember so clearly.

  Those memories, at the surface, were messing with my head. My magic instantly centres to my hand, where his own covers mine entirely. He only takes a little bit, a tiny, tiny bit.

  I fidget my feet, feeling like my core was rocked because I expected him to just – take it. Not taste it, like it was some sort of luxury. It was just prolonging my suffering.

  And I was surprised at his level of control.

  I'm biting my lip, desperately looking at him, I didn't want to say the words.

  "Someone's wanting," Sabir looks into my eyes, slowly, slowly, leaning in closer, "Do you need something from me... princess?"

  "No," I whisper back, instantly lying. He knows it, too.

  "I'll ask again," Sabir has a familiar spark in his eye, anticipation, "Do you need something from me?"

  I bite my lip, and then I answer.

  "You."

  S~38~C

  I've said it. I've told Sabir I want him and now I can't look away from his knowing eyes. I could only hope he'd give me what I wanted; just some of his touch, more of it, anything more to calm the unstable forces within me.

  I just wanted to feel stable and normal again, was that too much to ask?

  "The problem is, sweetheart, I don't give naughty little blue eyed princesses what they want just because they ask," Sabir drawls while his eyes roll over
me and I'm fixated on his stupidly long thick eye lashes, "I punish you... you know that. I teach you how to behave around your superiors. However, time and time again you sneak off and have your little shows of defiance. You disobey me, disrespect me and you think... after a thousand years... I'll just hand you what you want? You betrayed our bond, Sapphire. I own your soul, it's mine, I do with you as I please, when I please, how I please. Is this bringing back some memories for you, princess?" Sabir cuts out all the crap, his tone lowering and his eyes darkening with desire and anger.

  His harsh words kick me back into thinking a little more clearly. He had always had dark desires but now to top it off he had betrayal on his mind to worsen his intentions.

  "Sabir..." I speak slowly but clearly, "You haven't changed at all. Your soul is as black as the empty night sky and your mind is a dark abys with no end," I whisper now. I was afraid and also unafraid of his words, his gaze. I knew he would never ever truly damage me, but he would gladly teach me a lesson. He wanted me to apologise, he wanted me to get on my knees and show him how much I wanted him to dominate me.

  He knew I enjoyed aspects of it. But I was looking at the bigger picture now.

  "A poetic way to state how far gone I am, sweetheart?" Sabir reaches out and grabs the hem of my dress, jerking me even closer. I lean right into the trunk now, inches from his calculating, scheming eyes.

  "You don't even care," I state, plainly, wanting to run but first I wanted answers.

  "A very correct observation," Sabir takes his hand away from me and this time he simply holds back, glaring without blinking into my eyes, "Some people can't be fixed. I'll happily indulge in your squeals... my sweet little whore, that's all I need."

  I gulp as my mind is again flooded with memories of our past. So many memories, so many emotions.

  I needed to be honest with him.

  I needed to be honest with myself.

  "Everything about us is insane, Sabir... but I have always loved you. I know you're destined to always hunt me down. But this has become bigger than the games we all play in the Golden Palace... we use to act like sex-crazed gods who care nothing more than to fuck, tease, share magic, punishments... and we all drown in pleasure when the games are over."

  "Why has it become bigger, sweetheart? And you've never said I love you before, that's a first," Sabir simply smirks at this. He was confident and feeling ruthless now that I'm being so vulnerable with him.

  "The words have never needed to be said, you know that," I mutter, trying not to lose it and yell at him about how our bond means so much more than his desire to play games between us, "You should know, the girls are not planning to stay hidden from the Dark Gems forever. We'll be back, I just need you to know that when I walk back into that palace that I'm going to be with you. But it'll be different. The power is going to be more balanced between all of us. You can have me, in every way, and I'll still be able to venture into the forest without you losing your mind –" Sabir's eyes have darkened considerably and he snaps out his hand, his fingers wrap around my hair and pull my head back as he leans in dangerously closer now.

  His eyes are so intensely focused on my very soul, I'm too scared to blink lest he sucks it out of me.

  "What do you know about our future?" he growls it seriously, "Tell me or I might just have to fit you, right now, with a new punishing device I made just for you."

  My eyes are riddled with confusion as I dare not look away.

  What was he talking about?

  What future?

  "I have no idea what you're referring to –" Sabir shakes his head slowly in disbelief, his eyes scanning mine.

  "When you're crying for me, sweetheart, you'll stop lying," he smirks with evil intention and reaches for his belt. I flinch when there is a sudden loud ring, like an alert, that breaks the moment.

  He suddenly lets me go, my heart racing as I focus in on the noise that was coming from his pocket. He takes a causal step back away from me, picking up his phone and answering it. He was still confident I wouldn't run. He was right, I was frozen in another place and time. I knew that when he wanted to punish me, he always followed through with it. It was customary.

  Now, I was shocked there was an interruption and also relieved. His eyes spoke of pain, he wasn't so much interested in my pleasure this time round. He was still angry about our rebellion.

  "Do you have your little pet in your hands yet?" Sabir smirks into the phone, obviously talking to Traegr, "... Hmmm, interesting, what do you need?... I've got the solution right here with me... we'll handle Kaelyn," Sabir hangs up and I stay where I am, holding my tree closely, confused as he suddenly loses his dark calculating gaze and he lightens up a bit.

  The game was on hold for the moment.

  "Kaelyn?" I ask, "No one knew where she was."

  "She's gone on a killing spree," Sabir says so calmly, it takes me a few seconds to register what he just said.

  "She what?" I gasp out, jumping away from the tree, I run my hands through my hair nervously, "She disappears from all of us and then suddenly returns killing people? The Seraphine Rebellion Squadron doesn't go by needlessly killing. What the hell was she doing? Who's dead?"

  "The centre of Quartz Zone was set on fire, she's locked up at the moment. No one has any idea where she came from or why she did it. All we know is she is volatile and angry. Doctors are considering ending her life for the safety of other Gems. But she's a Royal and we don't waste the lives of Royals..." Sabir gives me a knowing look, emphasizing I'm not Royal.... he was such an asshole sometimes, "She's in a protective cell in the Quartz Zone police department. She needs a familiar face to calm her. Are you coming or not, princess?" Sabir asks casually, his gaze not leaving mine.

  He even smiles, probably because he already knew the answer to his question.

  "I have no choice," I glare at him, "But... what about..." Celeste. I wonder if she made it away or if she was caught by Traegr? Because she could help out here, she was also a calming presence.

  And, well, I didn't want to face Sabir and Traegr alone... to be perfectly honest.

  "But what?" Sabir blinks slowly, "Are you worried about your 'freedom'? It's your life or Kaelyn's, sweetheart. Try to run off now and they'll have to kill her. Come with me and you'll have a chance at calming her and showing everyone she is worth keeping alive."

  "So now I just willingly hand myself over," I mutter to myself, I look up as I see Sabir holding out a hand for me to come forward.

  "Come on, sweety, I don't have all day and neither do the grieving families of the innocent dead. Your presence is a small sacrifice to save your friend," Sabir shrugs when I come forward but don't accept his hand.

  "If I come with you now, I'm your prisoner again, aren't I?" I point out, wanting to assess his full intentions.

  "Prisoner... slave... you're my play-thing at the end of the day," Sabir glances at me as he starts walking off, his eyes narrow at my question, "Also, shut your mouth, princess, you had your 'please fuck me' eyes focused on me not long ago so you can't complain. You're only issue is my hand, my mind and my need to punish you. The last thing I'm going to do is fuck you... little whore."

  "Oh, really?" I snap, trailing just behind him now, wanting to keep some distance.

  "I'm going to torture you in every way possible first... the fucking comes later. You poor little princess... you have no idea..."

  "What?" I snap out, annoyed he won't finish his threat.

  "Nothing to concern you just yet, little one. Also, Traegr is dragging Celeste along. She'll be helping so you'll have a friend along the way. Doesn't that make you feel safer, little sweetheart?" Sabir couldn't sound any more mocking as he looks at me with sparkling eyes.

  "Quit with calling me little everything, it's so annoying. Focus, Kaelyn won't live if we don't get there quickly, that's all that matters, let's hurry."

  "Your confidence is cute," Sabir has to mock me some more as I gain purpose in my stride.

  "Kaelyn's lif
e is the priority–"

  "And we'll save her, it's just cute because you can't save yourself, darling. Not from me. Not from your King. Not from what we're going to do to you."

  "And what's that, exactly?" I ask, dryly.

  "Once we calm down Kaelyn, you'll find out, little sweetling. For now, keep building up your confidence. It'll make your fall all the more satisfying. I'll try very hard not to laugh at you when I have you drooling for any cock at all... I love it when you're my whore, but I love it when you're everyone else's too."

  "Because I'm so special to you, clearly," I snap.

  "Your pain and your pleasure is special..." Sabir glances at me as he says it, "It's the only time you stop thinking and you start bending. You're glazed over eyes and numb legs are all I want. It's all Traegr wants. Soon, it'll be all you want too. You can count on my word, princess."

  "That's your fancy way of saying you want to rule me," I shrug, pretending to be bored by his words. When really I was feeling deeply disturbed by them.

  I loved his crazy interest with me.

  I acknowledged our bond.

  But I hated how utterly messed up our interactions were, all the time.

  It would never be any different... not until we won back some power for the female side.

  "Nope," Sabir corrects me, "That's my fancy way of saying I'm going to break you... in every way. Are you excited, sweetheart?"

  "...what the hell is wrong with you?" my answer is short as I snarl at him. He just smirks.

  His evil words confirm the reality of the Royal Gems and the bonds we had with magic. It's exactly what I meant. It was all messed up. Everything about the Royal Gems was insane.

  It was the reason the Royal female Gems had to keep fighting for freedom.

  Power would always be abused in our race one way or another.

  We had to find a solution in the mess of all this desire, overload of emotions and stupid impulses.

  We were all counting on Seraphine to fix our perpetually unstable state of living.

  Perhaps Kaelyn's random killing spree would have been a big enough distraction for Seraphine to go in and out to retrieve the CU documents from Quartz Zone.