I glanced up sharply, but he wasn’t poking fun, he was seriously asking me to consider it.
“We’re a hell of a pair, aren’t we?” I finally conceded.
“You did say we’d be unstoppable if we worked together.” He grinned. “You were right.”
He shifted under me and I sucked in a breath. I rolled my hips and stars exploded behind my eyes. I climbed off him before I got distracted. His clean scent drove home exactly how badly I needed a shower.
“I’m going to get cleaned up,” I said.
“Do you want the good news or the really good news?” Ian asked.
“Both.”
“There’s a shower. It’s sonic, but it’s not half bad. And there’s not a stitch of extra clothing anywhere on this ship. So if you want to clean your current clothes, you won’t have anything to wear while they dry.”
I laughed. “I’m not sure I’d call that really good news,” I said, but then my eyes snagged on him. He lounged in bed naked, with just a sheet slung low around his hips and all those glorious muscles on display. “Never mind,” I murmured, “I see the appeal.”
“If you want a shower now, you have five seconds to leave this room,” he playfully growled at me. “Otherwise I’m dragging you back into bed.”
I grabbed my pants and fled.
I rushed through the shower, nervous anticipation fluttering in my belly. Once I was clean, I put my clothes in the circular shower stall and started a clothes cycle. Sonic showers used a light mist of cleaning fluid instead of gallons and gallons of water, so realistically, my clothes would be damp but wearable as soon as the cycle completed.
Fear gave me pause. Maybe I should wait for the cycle to complete. I stared in the mirror, trying to see myself from Ian’s point of view. I was petite and too thin. I looked like what I was—someone who had been sick for a long time and who was just now starting to recover. I’d lost over fifteen kilograms and only in the last two months had I gained any back.
What if Ian saw only the sickness and not the strength?
I shook my head. Now I was just letting fear rule me. And procrastinating. I opened the door, determined.
Only to nearly run into Ian. His hot gaze made it to my breasts before he snapped his eyes closed and blew out a breath. He blindly held out a sheet. “I brought you this, in case you were uncomfortable. I should’ve sent it with you earlier. I wasn’t thinking.”
I stepped around the proffered sheet and ran my hands across his bare chest. “If you had taken that sheet off earlier, I never would’ve made it out of the room.”
He looked down at me, doing an admirable job of keeping his eyes glued to my face. “Are you sure, Bianca? I don’t want to rush you.”
“I’m sure.” I stepped close enough that his hardening length pressed against my belly and my breasts pressed against his chest. I ducked my head and gave him another truth. “It’s been a while, and you’re not small, so . . .” I trailed off.
Ian made a deep sound in his chest. “Are you going to fuss at me if I pick you up?”
“Are you truly healed?” I asked. He nodded. “Then I won’t fuss. Not that I ever fuss.”
He grinned and grabbed my ass. He lifted me easily. I hooked my legs around his waist for balance. I shivered as his length pressed against my clit.
He slid me up a few centimeters, his eyes going heavy lidded. I glided easily against him. I wanted him enough that he could probably pull back and thrust home without any difficulty, despite my recent celibacy. I squirmed, angling for just that outcome, but Ian clamped his arm around my waist, pinning me in place.
“Now who’s rushing?” he asked. He carried me to the bed and lowered me onto my back. He followed me down, his hips wedged between my legs. So close.
Then his lips were on mine and my thoughts scattered. I slid my tongue into his mouth only to pull back with a gasp when his fingers closed around my nipple. I arched into his touch. “Yes,” I hissed.
He trailed kisses down to my other nipple before giving it a teasing lick. I buried a hand in his hair and pulled him closer. He groaned and drew the tight bud into his mouth.
I made a noise that was half moan, half whine. I arched again, trying to get him inside me. He chuckled against my skin and slid down farther. Now I did whine, until I caught the intent in his eyes. My breath hitched as he knelt beside the bed and angled my body toward him.
His first touch was tentative, reverent. A whisper-soft glide of one finger over my clit. My hips jerked, chasing the feeling. Ian smiled, a true, blinding expression of joy, before it gained a wicked edge. He pressed his other hand against my hip, holding me still.
Another touch, as light as the first. “Ian,” I gasped, straining toward him, “you’re killing me.”
“It’ll be a glorious death,” he promised. Then he bent his head and fastened his mouth around my clit. His lips and tongue stroked me and it was indeed glorious. He pressed two fingers inside, a slow thrust that caused my whole body to clench in need.
I was so close.
When I pinched my own nipples, desperate to fall over the edge, Ian groaned against me and that was all it took. Pleasure exploded, bowing my back and stealing my breath.
After I recovered, Ian crawled up my body, his intent clear, but I decided he’d been in charge long enough. I flipped our positions—only because Ian allowed himself to be rolled. Now he was laid out below me like a feast.
I started with his luscious mouth and then moved south. I laved one flat nipple into a hard point with my tongue while I gently pinched the other. He made a low sound of pleasure that thrummed through me.
I continued down, kissing my way across his washboard abs. I stopped every so often to lick and nibble. His hands clenched. “Bianca,” he said tightly, “please.”
I bypassed the place he wanted me most and pressed a delicate kiss to his inner thigh. He made a deep sound of dissatisfaction. I took pity on him and wrapped my fingers around his length. His body went taut and he stopped breathing.
The first stroke was a light caress, designed to tease and tempt. He was almost too beautiful for me to believe this was real. All tanned skin and rippling muscles. Even his cock was perfection, long and thick. When he shot me a desperate look, I took pity on him.
I worked him with lips, tongue, and hands until his body vibrated with tension. He gasped my name. Then he pulled me up and kissed me deeply. His eyes were twilight blue, dark with desire. “There are no condoms,” he said softly. “We both have nanos, but are you protected?”
Nanobots protected from disease, but they didn’t protect from pregnancy. “I have an implant,” I told him. “I’m protected.”
“Thank fuck,” he growled. He flipped us over and pressed against me. “Are you ready?”
“Yes, now,” I demanded. I ached to be filled.
He nudged forward and we both hissed in pleasure. “Let me know if I need to slow down,” he said tightly, the muscles in his neck standing out.
“You need to speed up!” I wrapped my legs around his hips and tried to pull him closer.
“Bianca,” he growled. But still he resisted, barely moving. Why had I mentioned it’d been a while? I’d be dead before he decided I was ready.
Deciding to take matters into my own hands, I pulled myself up until my mouth was next to his ear. “Fuck me, Ian,” I whispered. “Fill me with your cock.”
He shuddered and his hips snapped forward, driving him a few centimeters deeper before he caught himself. My eyes crossed in pleasure. I skated on the edge of orgasm.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he gritted out, all honor and anguish.
“You feel amazing. You’re not hurting me, except by holding back. Let go, Ian.”
He searched my eyes for several long moments before thrusting in to the hilt with a deep rumble of pleasure.
I sucked in a breath. He felt better than amazing. Nothing had ever felt this good. I teetered on the brink, wanting to fall over, wanting to draw it
out. He pulled back, thrust again. And again. Wait, nothing had ever felt this good. It was only when he chuckled that I realized I’d said it out loud.
Ian sucked my nipple into his mouth and bit lightly. The tiny, sweet pain seemed tied directly to my clit as pleasure zinged between the two. “Again!” I demanded. I felt his smile against my breast before he complied.
I sailed into orgasm groaning his name. His thrusts turned harder, more demanding, before becoming erratic as he, too, tipped into bliss. He collapsed beside me. We both panted like we’d run a marathon.
“That was . . .” I trailed off, trying to come up with an appropriate adjective. Glorious, amazing, and magnificent all fell short. “Mind-blowing,” I decided.
“Yes, it was. You’ve killed me.”
“Was it a glorious death?” I asked with a smile.
His answering smile was tender. “Very.”
For two days we ate, slept, fucked, and tried to fill the hours of the day. I taught Ian the rest of the kata we’d started in his ship. He taught me more breathing and meditation exercises I could use for pain management. He built me up rather than tearing me down, and the contrast to my time with Gregory could not be clearer. I felt calmer, more centered, and more confident than I had in years.
Over food, we discussed a wide range of topics, but we were careful to not discuss the future. I didn’t know why Ian didn’t bring it up, but I avoided it because I’d half convinced myself that this was some sort of fever dream I’d wake from at any moment.
Even so, I was blissfully happy.
We were in the lounge, sipping after-dinner coffee and pretending we weren’t watching the clock when the five-minute jump alert went off. “I need to get to the flight deck,” I said. “If I don’t start talking as soon as we jump, Benedict is likely to do something unfortunate.” Like blow us up.
Ian stopped me before I would’ve dashed away. “Do you regret this?” he asked. He waved a hand between us, in case his question hadn’t been clear. His expression was guarded.
“No!” I hesitated, then steeled my spine. “Do you?”
He shook his head. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But you’re a von Hasenberg and I’m an orphan from nowhere who’s been genetically modified. You could do so much better. Once you return to Serenity, you’ll see that.”
This was an important conversation that needed more than five minutes. Still, I had to try or I’d lose him forever. “Ian, I let my husband burn to death. I’m a walking science experiment gone wrong. Being a von Hasenberg has more downsides than you might think. You can do far better than me. I’m terrified that you’ll realize it at any minute and then leave me bereft.”
He leaned his forehead against mine. “We’re perfect for each other,” he said, but it sounded like a question.
“We’re perfect for each other,” I said firmly, so there was no question. “I won’t let you go without a fight, just so you know. And I fight dirty.”
He rubbed his nose against mine. “I like you dirty.”
“Good, because you’re stuck with me,” I said. “Now let’s go prevent Benedict from shooting at us. I don’t think this flying garbage bin can take it.”
I slid into the captain’s chair just as the engine noise changed. As before, it took longer than I expected before we jumped. I knew we’d made it when the ship intoned, “Incoming communication.”
I accepted the communication on my console.
A young man appeared on screen in a von Hasenberg uniform. “This is Transcendence. State your—”
I interrupted him. “I’m Lady Bianca von Hasenberg, here to see my brother. Put Benedict on the line.”
He blinked and squinted at me through the camera, then his eyes widened. “Right away, my lady.” He gestured frantically at someone offscreen.
It took another thirty seconds before the video changed and Benedict appeared. “Bianca?” he asked. His light brown hair was rumpled, like he’d been running his hands through it, and he wasn’t in his uniform jacket. It was half past nine, so he was likely off duty already.
“Yes. Did Ferdinand make it? And the others?” I wasn’t sure what names they’d be using, so I didn’t name them.
“Nice hair,” he said. I touched my darkened locks. I forgot I didn’t look like myself. He continued, “Yes, all three of them are here. What took you so long?”
“I’m in a planet hopper. Took two jumps.”
Benedict grimaced in sympathy. “Park it in landing bay four until we can dispose of it. Port side, second bay.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “I remember,” I said. “And before I forget, I have Director Bishop onboard. He’ll be bunking with me.”
Benedict’s eyebrows rose. He gave me a look that said we would definitely be revisiting this conversation later, but all he said was, “I’ll meet you in the landing bay. Flight control will guide you in.” He paused. “It’s good to see you, Bianca.”
“You, too, Benedict. You, too.”
Benedict disconnected the call. I peeked at Ian to gauge his reaction to my declaration. We hadn’t really talked about whether or not we were going public with our relationship, but I refused to hide him like a dirty secret. If that was going to be a problem, better to find out now. Benedict wouldn’t rat me out. Well, he wouldn’t rat me out to Father. The sibling gossip network was another matter entirely.
Ian met my eyes. “You told him.” His neutral tone didn’t give me any hint of what he was feeling.
“Yes. Should I not have?” Doubts crowded in. I wasn’t ashamed of him, but maybe the opposite wasn’t true. Perhaps he would’ve preferred to keep me a secret. I glanced away. “I can tell him to keep it to himself if you prefer.”
Ian stood and closed the distance between us. He tipped my chin up. “What’s going on in your head?”
I gave him the truth. I owed him that much. “I don’t want you to be ashamed that people know we’re together. If you’re going to be, I can’t do this. I just can’t.”
He knelt beside me, so we were eye to eye. “Bianca, you have no idea how fucking much I like and respect you. You are incredible. I am not ashamed of you and never will be. You just caught me off guard. We need to talk about what to do about Albrecht before he hears it from someone else, but I’m thrilled you claimed me to your brother.”
I closed my eyes. Father was a concern I’d been trying to avoid thinking about. Ian was right, we needed a plan, or Albrecht would roll right over us and do precisely what worked best for him.
“We’ll figure it out,” I promised.
The ship chimed to indicate we’d received a flight plan from Transcendence. Once I checked and approved it, the autopilot took over. We’d been given priority, so ten minutes later our little planet hopper settled in the middle of landing bay four, next to Ian’s ship. The area was suspiciously clear of soldiers. Had Benedict ordered them away?
By the time we lowered the cargo ramp, Benedict was waiting. I rushed to hug him. He squeezed me tight. My twin had stolen all the height I was missing, so when he hugged me and leaned back, my feet left the floor.
“You scared me to death,” he murmured in my ear. “When Ferdinand arrived and I heard what happened, I feared the worst.”
“I’m sorry I worried you. Have you told Father that Ferdinand is found?”
“No. I figured you had some grand plan.”
I squeezed him tighter, this brother who knew me so well. “Thanks.”
Benedict let me go and turned to Ian, his expression cold. “Director Bishop.”
Ian inclined his head. “Lord Benedict.”
I’d had to cut Ian’s pants off while I was trying to save him. We’d managed to sew and tape them back into some semblance of decent, but his shirt had been a lost cause. If confronting my brother while underdressed made Ian uneasy, you’d never know it from his tone.
“What are your designs on my sister?”
I groaned and rolled my eyes. “Benedict, could you
not?”
“She’s mine,” Ian said simply. “And I’m hers. I intend to cherish and protect her for as long as she’ll let me.”
“Seems like you’ll have your work cut out for you,” Benedict muttered. I elbowed him in the side. “Ow! You arrived in a Rockhurst ship after breaking into a Rockhurst military compound. While we are at war. You have no reason to elbow me!”
“Respect your elders,” I said with a grin.
Benedict huffed out a breath. “Oh, right. I forgot that extra thirteen minutes makes you a paragon of wisdom.”
“Of course it does.” I sobered and changed the subject. “How is Ferdinand?”
Benedict’s eyes darkened. “We healed what we could and got him fitted with a subvocal microphone and speaker so he can communicate audibly. The ship’s doctors can’t do anything for his tongue. They said it’s possible a lab in Serenity could regrow it from stem cells and reattach it, but it would be a brutal surgery and recovery with a low chance of success.”
“Fuck.”
“Pretty much.” Benedict sighed. “We’re keeping his presence under wraps. Yours, too. I trust my troops, but we are at war and sitting within jump distance of Richard’s battle cruiser. Ian’s ship is ready to jump. I told Ferdinand and the others to meet me here in ten minutes if I didn’t send them a message.”
“So soon?” I asked, stunned.
“It’s not safe, Bianca,” he said gently. “You know that. I would’ve had them come with me, but I wasn’t sure if you needed medical aid first. I have doctors waiting in the hall.”
“How close are you to getting the temporary gate up?”
Benedict laughed. “Not close enough. It’ll be another three weeks, at least. Ian’s mercs explained that you planned to use my emergency jump point. Clever. Dangerous, but clever.”
“So have we really lost the Antlia gate to Rockhurst?”
Benedict’s jaw firmed. “For now. But Rockhurst doesn’t have the firepower to hold it. We’ll see how they like it when the tables are turned.”
“Don’t get in trouble with RCDF,” I warned.
“If they would do their fucking job, I wouldn’t have to waste ships to secure something that should be neutral.”
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