Julian was going to kill him.
It… wouldn’t have been the worst way to go.
The soft, dismayed sound he made as Julian withdrew his fingers might have been embarrassing if Isaac still had enough presence of mind to care about something like that.
All he cared about now was feeling Julian’s cock inside him. They’d been building up to this moment, and now it was here, and he wanted it so badly he would have begged on hands and knees if he had to.
“Roll over,” Julian instructed, kind and soft, and Isaac couldn’t have stopped himself obeying if he wanted to.
Julian shoved a pillow under his hips, making him hiss at the friction against his oversensitive cock.
“Spread your legs a little more,” he said, nudging them apart with his hand again. Isaac moved with him, letting Julian position him however he wanted.
The dull ache of arousal in his belly meant he’d do anything Julian told him to if it meant he’d get what he wanted. And he wanted it, wanted it more with every passing second, his whole body tense with need.
This was going to feel so good. If a couple of fingers had pushed him this far, Julian’s cock was going to be amazing.
Isaac huffed a laugh.
He was so bi. How he hadn’t realized before was a mystery to him.
Well, not entirely. But being kissed like he had been, like it was no big deal, like it was just allowed… that had broken something open inside Isaac. Something he’d sealed off out of fear. Fear of rejection, by Julian and everyone else.
He didn’t plan on dwelling, though. He planned on making up for lost time by having as much sex with Julian as Julian wanted, now that he was allowed to do that.
Julian made a soft sound of approval, running his hand up the back of Isaac’s thigh as he positioned himself.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, shuffling into place between Isaac’s legs.
A swarm of butterflies took off in Isaac’s stomach. This position made him feel exposed, as though Julian could see right through him and he had no defenses, but of course Julian knew how to soothe him.
It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Julian was both great and considerate in bed. If Isaac had ever let himself think about it, he would have expected nothing less.
Getting to experience it first hand was way more fun than fantasizing, though.
Isaac’s breath hitched as he felt the head of Julian’s cock pressing against his hole, the heat and pressure making his stomach clench with anticipation.
Julian suddenly felt a whole lot bigger than he’d looked, but Isaac was ready for this. He trusted that Julian knew what he was doing. He wanted Julian’s cock, more than he’d wanted most things in his life. He felt relaxed and ready, the memory of Julian’s fingers making him want to thrust into the pillow under him, allow himself the friction he was so desperate for.
Julian’s hand curled around his hip, steadying him as finally, finally, he pushed forward.
Isaac hissed as the thick, blunt head of Julian’s cock pressed inside him, his breath coming in short pants, blood pounding in his ears. Julian was less than an inch inside him, and already his insides felt like they were on fire.
Not in a bad way, though. Isaac wanted to push back, take more of him, feel Julian’s cock fill him up in this exciting, terrifying new way. He wanted to rock his hips, force Julian to either hold him down or go with it, fuck him like there was no tomorrow.
In spite of all that, though, he held still, thighs trembling with need, and bit down on his lip while Julian continued the agonizingly slow slide into his body, lighting up all his nerve endings as he stretched and filled Isaac as though he was made to fit.
“Fuck,” Isaac gritted out, screwing his eyes closed.
“In a second,” Julian said, his voice finally sounding a little uneven, too.
Isaac didn’t have the willpower to argue, so he lay there, impossibly full, Julian’s cock much, much deeper inside him than he’d imagined it would be, and waited for the world to stop spinning around him.
Julian rocked his hips before it did. A surprised moan escaped Isaac as Julian’s cock seemed to drag over every sensitive spot inside him, his whole world narrowing to the heavy heat of it, the feeling of being so deeply connected to his best friend.
A man he’d, maybe, been in love with for a long time.
Isaac raised himself up onto his knees, wanting Julian deeper still, needing him to go harder, faster. Julian didn’t object—instead, he helped Isaac up, pulling on his hip, curling his other hand around Isaac’s shoulder.
“Please,” Isaac said, the sound spilling from his lips as little more than a desperate whimper. He’d sailed all the way past want and straight into raw need, everything about this so much better than he’d imagined.
After a handful of breaths, Julian moved, rocking his hips forward once, twice, setting a pace that left Isaac shaking with every thrust, his cock bouncing off his stomach with the force as Julian sped up, as his strokes became more fluid.
Letting his head hang between his arms, Isaac let himself go. He moaned, loud and low, seeing no need to hold back, to pretend he wasn’t enjoying himself.
He’d never been fucked like this before, but he already wanted to do this again. And again.
As many times as he could convince Julian to do it, in fact.
The familiar tightness of an orgasm built inside him, every stroke of Julian’s cock stoking the fire, heat and tension making Isaac push back, meet Julian’s thrusts eagerly.
He wanted to come. Julian had teased him all the way to the edge, and his cock felt so damned good inside Isaac, and…
The thought of holding out was a distant memory. Isaac’s thighs ached, his belly clenching hard with every thrust, his balls tightening. He wanted, he wanted…
Oh. Fuck, oh, Isaac’s head spun as his orgasm crashed over him, the force making him jerk forward, then push back, fuck himself eagerly on Julian’s cock as he rode out the waves, his cock spurting all over his belly, the sensation on already oversensitive skin making him moan and gasp all over again.
Julian moved his hand at the same instant, tugging on Isaac’s cock through the last few waves of his orgasm as Isaac clenched hard around him, bearing down, his whole body tensing up as he came, the rumbling force of pleasure leaving him wrung out.
Pulse pounding in his ears, he was vaguely aware of an answering groan from Julian, aware of his hips snapping, cock twitching inside Isaac as he finished, too, a heartfelt sigh sending a shiver down Isaac’s spine.
He made Julian come.
That was almost better than coming himself.
Almost. Not quite, not the way he’d just come. He felt as though his brains were leaking out his cock, his head stuffed with cotton, the whole world hazy and slow.
His breath hitched as Julian pulled out of him, the sudden emptiness strange.
They could do this again. It wasn’t as though Isaac would never have a cock inside him again.
If he had his way, he’d have a cock inside him regularly.
Wow. He’d gone from being scared of this to obsessed with the thought of doing it again in the space of one round.
Julian coaxed him down onto the bed, and Isaac went without protest, happily collapsing into the soft mattress and staring up at the ceiling as he caught his breath. Julian was panting, too, and that was suddenly one of the hottest things he’d ever heard.
They’d worn each other out.
For the moment, anyway. They were both still young, and tomorrow was Saturday.
Isaac grinned at the thought. He could start training a little later if it meant a lazy morning with Julian. The thought of it made his heart leap, beating out of sync for a moment.
He was starting to get used to feeling like that around Julian.
Julian splayed a hand over his stomach, rubbing gently with his thumb. Isaac wanted to kiss him, but he was too far away, and there was no way in hell he was moving for at least a solid handf
ul of minutes.
“Was that okay?” Julian asked softly. “How are you feeling?”
A wave of affection swelled in Isaac’s chest. After fucking him hard and fast, and teasing him like an expert, Julian had gone right back to being soft, sweet, and concerned about Isaac’s feelings.
That was so… Julian-like. Everything about him was just…
Perfect.
Too perfect, probably, for Isaac to deserve.
He planned on trying anyway. For the first time in his life, he actually wanted to deserve someone. It shouldn’t have been so much of a surprise that it was Julian.
“That was amazing,” Isaac said, his voice rough. “I feel like I’m gonna pass out.”
Julian chuckled, finally bending down and pressing a soft kiss to Isaac’s lips.
“You pass out, I’ll get a washcloth and a clean pillowcase,” Julian promised, kissing him again before getting up.
Isaac let his eyes fall closed, content to wait for Julian’s return.
Chapter Eighteen
Julian woke to an empty bed again, but he could hear the sound of the shower running next door this time, and the other side of the bed was still warm. He smiled to himself, remembering everything that had happened last night.
Hard as it was to believe, he could still feel the pleasant, all-over soreness, and that told him it was definitely real. For whatever reason, Isaac wanted him.
It was a dream come true.
Happiness welling up in his chest, Julian rolled out of bed and slipped into the bathroom to say good morning to Isaac, wanting to make sure he caught him before he left.
He found Isaac just stepping out of the shower, dripping onto the floor. Julian wet his lips, too distracted by seeing Isaac naked under the relatively bright bathroom light, every line of his body exposed.
Instead of saying anything, Julian followed the trail of a droplet with his eyes, tracing its way from Isaac’s collarbone all the way down his chest and stomach to gather just below his belly button.
He tore his eyes away before he looked any further, needing at least some brain power to greet his…
His…
Whatever he was to Isaac.
“Morning,” Isaac said, beaming at him. “Did you just come in for the show, or…?”
Julian chuckled, crossing the small space between them with one stride and pecking Isaac on the lips, humming at the taste and smell of clean, damp skin. “I came to catch you before you left,” he murmured.
“I wasn’t planning on leaving just yet,” Isaac said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Unless you’re subtly kicking me out?”
Julian shook his head. “Never. Not in a million years. Will you stay for breakfast?”
Isaac grinned at him again. “I’ll even make breakfast,” he said. “You shower, I’ll get started.”
Isaac pecked Julian on the lips on the way past, grabbing one of the two towels on the rail and wrapping it around his waist as he left.
Sighing happily, Julian got into the shower and turned the spray on. The water came out hot immediately, a little hotter than he normally would have gone for, but it made sense that Isaac liked hot showers.
Everything about the past twelve hours or so still felt surreal, but in the best possible way. Isaac had clearly enjoyed himself last night, and now he was sticking around like…
Well, like this was a normal morning after a nice date.
Julian wasn’t stupid. He knew Isaac had been vulnerable last night, hurt by the discovery that not everyone was going to be okay with his newfound sexuality. Otherwise, it probably wouldn’t have happened.
He was still glad it did. Glad Isaac felt he could come to him, cry on his shoulder, and then let Julian take care of him.
That was everything Julian wanted. To be allowed to care for Isaac, and for Isaac to care for him too from time to time.
It didn’t seem like much to ask, but he knew they had a long way to go.
All the same, breakfast called, and he didn’t want to waste this morning thinking about the future.
Julian shut off the shower and wrapped the other towel around his waist. The mirror was completely fogged by now, but he doubted Isaac would really care how he looked in the morning. He’d seen that before.
And then Julian had seen the way Isaac looked at him last night, with heat in his gaze, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, lust written all over his face.
That felt good.
The smell of bacon drew him into the kitchen, and he found Isaac poking at a few rashers in a frying pan on the stove.
“You’re out of eggs,” Isaac said. “But last year I had a toasted bacon sandwich in London, so I figured that’d be easy enough to copy.”
“I’d love to see London,” Julian said.
“I think you’d like it. Tons of people. Cold. More or less like here, but British,” he said.
Julian hummed at the thought, letting himself imagine going on vacation with Isaac. Even if he was just following him from competition to competition.
“Anyway, sit down and I’ll bring this over when it’s done,” Isaac said.
Julian sat as instructed. He couldn’t stop smiling at Isaac, his heart swelling as he thought of how nice it would be to just have this, all the time.
“You’re a great boyfriend,” Julian said after a moment, the feeling too overwhelming to go unvoiced.
Isaac looked away from what he was doing, over at him. “Boyfriend?” he asked.
Julian’s stomach went cold. He hadn’t meant to say that, but he was still half-asleep. Still too busy enjoying Isaac’s company to use his goddamn brain.
“I, uh… well, that’s what we’re supposed to be, umm… pretending, right?” he said, knowing that absolutely none of it sounded convincing.
Isaac looked away, his shoulders slumping. “Yeah, right,” he said. A heavy sigh told Julian he wasn’t done, but was also maybe not sure what to say next.
“It’s just…” Isaac continued. “Never had a boyfriend before. Might be kinda nice?”
A lump formed in Julian’s throat. Isaac sounded so quietly hopeful, so genuine that he couldn’t bring himself to resist.
He knew this was all an experiment. He knew he was at risk of losing Isaac when it had to end. That he might even have ended up resenting him, for not being able to just be happy with Julian.
But…
“I’d be honored to be your boyfriend,” Julian said.
Isaac hadn’t even bothered to tell the world he had a boyfriend, fake or otherwise. After the first couple of times, he hadn’t made any attempt to make sure they’d be seen in public. They definitely hadn’t been caught holding hands or kissing or anything like that.
So maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe whatever Isaac wanted to call this was fine.
Hell, maybe if it wasn’t going to last, that was all the more reason to enjoy it while it did. To give Isaac everything he wanted, and walk away without any regrets. Any wishes that he’d done things differently.
Isaac was looking at him again, arranging bacon on top of the toast he’d made and pouring barbecue sauce over it.
“Yeah?” Isaac asked, eventually risking a glance up at Julian.
Julian smiled at him, the urge to make Isaac happy overriding all his other concerns for the moment. “Yeah. Yeah, I… meant what I said. You’re a great boyfriend. I was just afraid you wouldn’t want to think of yourself like that.”
Isaac shrugged, closing the sandwiches and bringing them over. “Sounds kinda neat,” he said, passing a plate to Julian.
The smell of bacon this close to him made his stomach growl and his mouth water. Maybe it wasn’t quite gourmet, but he could really get used to Isaac cooking for him from time to time.
“Boyfriends, then,” Julian said, grinning at the thought. “And best friends. Always.”
Isaac smiled the softest, sweetest smile in response, and Julian knew he was doing the right thing. Isaac had been there for him during some of the m
ost confusing, difficult times of his life, and this was his chance to return the favor.
If he wanted a boyfriend, a real boyfriend, then Julian was happy to be that for him. Even if he was afraid he’d get his heart broken.
He could survive a broken heart for Isaac. He loved him more than enough for that.
Julian took a bite of his sandwich, humming happily as the salty-sweet combination of bacon and barbecue sauce hit his tongue.
“They use a different kind of sauce over there,” Isaac said. “I mean, it’s kinda barbecue sauce? But not as sweet. Or not sweet in the same way. Hard to explain, actually.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” Julian said, still eating happily.
“Or I could take you someday.” Isaac glanced up at him, his eyes so sincere it made Julian’s heart skip a beat.
Shit.
Maybe he was serious about this?
No. No way. Julian didn’t get that lucky. He was talking about doing that as a friend, or it was just idle talk, he wasn’t…
Julian shoved his sandwich in his mouth to give himself another moment to think of an answer.
“Maybe,” he said around a mouthful of bacon and toast.
“Guess I can’t convince you to come play with me this morning, huh?” Isaac asked.
“I’ll need a little longer to forget how much that hurt. At least until the bruise heals.”
“It’s barely noticeable,” Isaac said, which Julian was pretty sure was an outright lie.
Nice of him to say, though.
“I wouldn’t mind going to watch,” Julian offered. He had nothing better to do with his day, and watching Isaac work up a sweat was definitely appealing.
“Really?” Isaac asked enthusiastically, his face lighting up.
“Really,” Julian confirmed, pleased that Julian was happy. “I’ll even put on pants.”
Isaac shrugged. “You look great naked.”
A blush crept up Julian’s neck, the heat making him squirm in his chair.
Yeah, he could definitely handle a broken heart if it meant he got more of this first.
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