Project Death: Resurrection

by Danielle Thamasa

  Chapter Three

  The weeks passed slowly and the mood at the Resurrector facility became more tense and gloomy with each passing day. Charges and Resurrectors were being lost daily and we all found that we had to work even harder to save lives. Humans were extremely accident prone and several times I found myself wondering why we were prolonging the inevitable. These people were going to die. There was no way we could save them all. But this was my job, my duty, and I felt honor bound to keep working.

  The Leaders were panicked now and they weren't making themselves available to us at all. The last time we saw any of them they made an announcement that counseling was available for those that needed it. They actually went so far as to recommend that everyone speak to a counselor at least once. After that they locked themselves in their chambers. The news from other facilities suggested that the Leaders had not visited them in weeks, not since making announcements there about counseling.

  I didn't need to talk to someone about my feelings on Resurrectors dying. All I needed and wanted was to know the truth about what was going on, why the Leaders were abandoning their Resurrectors in a time of need. Even with the increase in deaths I hadn't lost anyone yet. Sitara, Alaula, Damir, and Kiran were all alive though they were all becoming more depressed with each day. Sitara and Alaula were especially depressed as they were close to everyone here. If given the chance I think they would even form attachments to their charges, which was probably why the Leaders didn't want us to spend more time than we had to with those in our care. And as selfish as it sounded, I was extremely glad that my friends were still with me. My only wish other than getting answers was for my friends to feel better. Unfortunately the circumstances gave me very little time to try and help them.

  I sat down on one of the couches in the lounge we usually occupied, though at the moment it was empty. Everything was falling apart, and it was entirely possible that I was beginning to lose my mind. During the day I heard that whispered voice telling me that things were almost ready and that I would soon learn what was going on. And at night I dreamed of him: his dark spiky hair, piercing dark blue eyes, his pale skin and chiseled features. Only now in my dreams I could hear him as well. Sometimes he would tell me that it was not yet my time while occasionally the message changed and he said that he was coming for me. I woke up many times each night gasping for breath with my pulse pounding in my ears. Some nights I was even covered with a cold sweat.

  Then again, maybe I did need to see a counselor, even if it was only to tell him or her of my dreams at night and the voice that called to me during the day. Talking about it could give me some answers so I could understand what was happening to me. Then again, it could lead to even more questions. Besides, I knew I wasn’t crazy. Maybe this had something to do with my other differences. No, I couldn't actually go through with speaking to a Resurrector counselor. It was becoming even harder to protect every charge we had. Most of us worked extremely long hours, only sneaking in a couple hours of sleep at a time. To reveal that my mental state was possibly unstable would definitely take me off duty.

  That couldn't happen. My charges needed me and I couldn’t imagine abandoning my duties for anything. I would remain silent.

  The days grew even longer and more difficult. At random moments I wished everything could go back to the way it was a couple years ago, when we had plenty of free time and an overabundant number of Resurrectors. It wouldn't change much for me. I would still be working a lot, volunteering for extra duties whenever I could. I'm sure the strain between my friends and I, the crevice that seemed to grow with each day, would still be there regardless of all of this other stuff. We barely spoke to each other now.

  They tried to include me, even when they knew my answer was a refusal. I didn't know what I could say, if anything, to get things to work out. I felt too far removed from them. Even if we all wanted to there was no going back. We couldn't return to how things used to be. We could only move on. They were dedicated to their duties as a Resurrector but I lived and breathed mine.

  "Not again." It was Alaula; I knew her voice. I could hear the anguish in those two words, even though the exhaustion that was apparent in every word she had spoken in the past couple of weeks. It was almost as if she didn’t even have the strength to speak.

  "Here, get her to the lounge." And, naturally Kiran was around, which meant that Damir was probably there as well. Unless, of course, he had a charge. But as Alaula was carried into the lounge I saw that Damir wasn't with a charge. Instead he held the door open so Kiran could focus on holding onto Alaula. I stood up and they both froze. It was clear that they weren’t expecting me to be there. "Tamesis," Kiran said. "I didn't know anyone was in here."

  I shook my head. Right now I could push aside whatever awkwardness existed between myself and them. "It's all right. Bring her in." I gestured to the other couch and Kiran quickly moved over to the couch, setting Alaula down gently. Alaula had changed over the past weeks. She seemed to be fading away, having lost too much weight for a person of her petite size. Her hair had lost its wave and luminous color. Everything about her was diminished. She wasn't taking what was happening well. "Did she lose another one?" I asked softly, though I could already guess the answer.

  Damir nodded. "Yeah, she ran into the Angel of Death again."

  I moved over to Alaula's side and sat down, looking over at her. She didn’t even glance my way, though I couldn’t tell if that was because of what she was going through or because she was actually mad at me. "Hey, do you want to talk about it?"

  "It…it was awful," she said, her voice little more than a whisper. "You know what it's like." It was at that particular moment that she finally turned her gaze to me, but only for the briefest moment. "No, I guess you wouldn't. You're perfect."

  "Alaula, no. I'm not even close to being perfect. I make mistakes just like everyone else." It was true; I couldn’t even casually interact with the people around me. However, there was a hint of truth to her words because when it came to healing I was perfect. Even now I continued my perfect record.

  "But you still haven't lost a charge. You know nothing of what we are going through," she cried. "Don't try and say that you aren't perfect. When it comes to this, you are."

  "I'm sorry." I had no idea what to say to her. She was right that I still hadn't lost a charge but that didn't make me perfect. Somehow I needed to help her feel better about this. It wasn't her fault that she had lost another charge. We were all stretched so thin that if it kept going, it would break all of us. She didn't realize just how strong she was for still finding a way to keep getting through this, even with all of the loss in her life.

  "I don't want your pity, Tamesis."

  In hindsight I probably should have just admitted that I admired her strength but that moment was over. "Then what do you want Alaula? I'm trying to do everything I can to help. I work just as hard as everyone else around here. What else can I do?"

  "I want this to stop!" She looked away from me but I knew that she was crying. I couldn't blame her for it. Alaula had a big heart and this was really affecting her. There was no way that it wasn't. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, enveloping her in a sort of awkward sideways hug.

  "If I could stop this, then I would but I'm just as much in the dark as everyone else. I wish there was something I could do…"

  She shook her head suddenly, interrupting me and then pulled out of the embrace. "If the Angel of Death has reached his quota, would it stop?" she asked softly.

  I stared at her. Reached his quota? Had he done that? If so then anything could happen. I was still no closer to learning if the quota was monthly, yearly, or if it was a quota for fulfillment of a contract. My research time had been severely limited lately. Now I wished I had learned something—anything—about the Angel of Death’s quota. The books in our library basically skipped over almost anything dealing with Death. "What happened? Did he say anything to you while you were with your charge?"

/>   She glanced over at me once again and reached up to wipe away the tears. Nothing was said for several moments. Was she really that reluctant to talk about what had happened? From most of the interactions with the Angel of Death we had pieced together that he really didn't say much except that we couldn't move and that we couldn't do anything to save our charges after he had gotten to them. All of the stories of the encounters were the same and I’ll be the first to admit that I was now bored. I didn’t even listen to the other Resurrectors anymore. If he had said something to Alaula then it was probably important. It sounded horrible, even in my own mind, to admit that this new information was the only reason I was really paying attention.

  "Alaula…we need to know. Please."

  Looking at me, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to compose herself enough to speak. I shifted in my seat as I waited for her to start. Though I didn’t look I knew Kiran and Damir were waiting just as anxiously. "He…he said that he had reached his quota of souls," she said slowly. "And that he was done with all of this. Does that mean that he's not going to get between us and our charges anymore?"

  I could tell that she was hopeful that this was the end of it. But my gut was telling me that something else was going to happen and that it could be even worse. What if there was another Angel of Death just waiting to take over. We knew there was only one at any given time but from older Resurrectors I had heard varying details. Still, I didn’t want to voice my opinions and upset my friends more.

  "I…don't know, Alaula. We can only hope so. Maybe the Leaders can tell us more but they'll need to hear about what happened to you. Perhaps they'll give all of us some answers about what has been going on. Be strong; we could finally be at the end of this."

  I had to tell her that, even if I didn't completely believe it. After all, that's what friends did, they supported those they were close to and made them feel better, even if they lied in the process. And it honestly didn’t matter that we had drifted apart these past weeks. I was apparently the only friend who could even speak right now. Kiran and Damir just sat there.

  She nodded. "You're right. I should talk to them. But I…" When she trailed off I knew it was due to exhaustion. Alaula didn’t want to admit that she couldn’t walk to the Leaders’ chambers on her own.

  "It's okay. Kiran and Damir will help you get to the Leaders offices." I looked at them. "Right?" I knew they would help in any way they could and I wanted to go browse through the library again in the short time before another charge called for help.

  Both nodded quickly. At least I could still count on some things to stay the same. I was glad for the small hint of normalcy.

  "Thank you, Tam."

  "You're welcome, Alaula. Now go. The sooner you talk to them, the sooner we can get answers." Now that a plan had popped into my mind I was eager to get going but I wasn’t going to run out on my friends, not unless I was leaving for a charge.

  She stood up and all three of them left the lounge area. My thoughts traveled back to my encounter with the Angel of Death a few weeks ago. He said that he needed to reach a certain quota of souls. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it couldn't be a quota for a week or a month. And if he told Alaula that he was done then I didn't think that it was a yearly quota. The word done meant that it was over, that he was finished. What if the Angel of Death worked like we did and moved on when he was finished with his task?

  If that was the case then there would have to be another person to step into the role of the Angel of Death. This definitely wasn't the end. With my friends finally gone, I got up and headed out of the lounge and down the hall towards the library.