Project Death: Resurrection

by Danielle Thamasa

  Chapter Five

  The first thing I was aware of was the thin cotton blanket covering me. Everything felt a little fuzzy and I opened my eyes to see white walls, a white ceiling, and a white light that seemed to blind me. Blinking a few times I looked around, trying to figure out where I was. And then I felt the pressure on one of my hands. I turned my head to see Alaula sitting there next to me, holding my hand.

  She looked horrible, and that was putting it mildly. Even her clothes looked as if she had been in a war zone, which happened more often these past several years than we sometimes wanted to admit. Any sort of battle or war meant high chances of fatal injuries. It was also apparent that Alaula hadn't slept in days as she swayed in her seat. There were huge dark circles under her eyes that she had not even bothered to hide with makeup, and they were also puffy and red from crying. I could see the trail of tear stains down her cheeks. What had happened? It had to have been something absolutely terrible. As awful as it was to admit, most Resurrectors seemed to have become numb from all of our recent losses, mostly drained of acting on emotions.

  "You look worse than I feel," I said finally, though my voice was raspy and soft, little more than a whisper. After that I cleared my throat and coughed a few times. Had I been involved in some sort of fire? That was the only thing I could think of for these symptoms.

  At that she looked over at me and forced out a small sad smile. "You're awake," she said. "Thank God. I began to fear the worst."

  I tried to sit up, not liking how I looked up at Alaula from the bed, and found that I didn't have the strength, and then Alaula pushed me back down, holding me there. I would have thought that she would have done the opposite, helping me to actually sit up. "Alaula, what's going on? What happened?"

  "We think you left the facilities and something happened. Nobody knows where you went because you didn’t have a charge. The next thing we knew a call was sent out for a Resurrector and then another and another. It went on like that for several minutes and then it just stopped. We waited for a report, so we would know what had been thrown our way this time, but none of them came back." She paused and reached up to wipe away the tears that had started to fall. "When the Leaders found them all, they were laying in the middle of the field. All of them were dead…and they were in perfect circles…around you."

  I felt my eyes widen at that. Whatever had happened, they thought I would have answers but I felt haziness when I tried to access my recent memories. I had been at the mall and I had run into Thanos. But…after that, I didn't know. Thanos had said that he would not harm me and for the most part I felt okay, but had he deceived me anyway? Was he one of those people who only followed the exact letters of our agreement but used what had not been mentioned as a huge loophole? I would not put it past an associate of Death. "What?" It was the only word I could force out.

  "You've been unconscious for two days," she said softly. "In that time a lot of the Resurrectors have died. I don't know what to think anymore." She looked at me, her eyes filled with tears. Her gaze held the look of one who was looking at a lost loved one. And somehow I knew that look wasn't for the lost Resurrectors; it was for me. "The Leaders…they're holding you here for questioning. They think you had something to do with what has been going on."

  Once again I tried to sit up and Alaula forced me down, shaking her head. "But…how…they can't possibly think…" I couldn't even string together a response for that. No matter what others thought, everyone knew how dedicated I was to my duties.

  She squeezed my hand and stood up, letting my hand fall out of hers as she took a step back. "I shouldn't stay any longer. I did what the Leaders told me to do. I need to inform them that you've awakened." She took a few more steps away from me. "I'm glad you're not dead." Then Alaula turned and walked out of the room so quickly that I wondered if there wasn’t more to the situation. Alaula had never been good at keeping secrets, something that caused her to run away a lot, particularly if she did not want to blurt out something.

  How had this happened? I remembered running into Thanos. We had had a conversation by the fountain, he had taken my hand, and then he had walked away. Had I left the mall after that? I honestly didn't know. Why couldn't I remember what happened after that? Something was definitely going on here and I needed to figure out what.

  I couldn't do anything from here but I also knew that I wouldn't be able to get out of this room. It was probably some kind of holding cell that the Leaders had set up. There were very few crimes a Resurrector could commit and most of them did not need incarceration so we had no prison system. If I was truly trapped here then it was because the Leaders had used their power to do so. They had more strength and power than most people actually realized. After all they did keep all the Resurrectors going and they set up the system of assigning charges to Resurrectors. Of course they would be able to keep a person locked up.

  I could do nothing but lay here and stare at the ceiling or the walls. Every time I tried to sit up I could only feel a great heaviness in my body, as if I was being held down by numerous weights. Just the thought that I was to remain here alone bored me. Sitting still wasn't what I did, especially over the past weeks. This was not how I imagined my life going at all. I was perfectly fine with healing people, making sure they would be able to have the healthiest lives they could. It was a good life, and certainly a fulfilling one. When I wasn't working, I had my friends. It was everything I could actually need. Now though everything was changing and there appeared to be no way to stop it.

  The only thing I could do was think about things, and the most important memories were the ones that were nothing but fuzzy to me. I needed to remember what had happened to me by the fountain. If the Leaders were going to speak to me and question me about what had happened with the Resurrectors in that field, then I needed to prepare my defense. I had absolutely no recollection of even leaving the mall, so how had I ended up in a field? In the mall, what exactly had Thanos said to me? What had I said to him? I got the feeling that some possible answers were in that conversation but it wouldn't do me any good if I couldn't remember it. There were too many blanks, but I did remember the sensation that jolted through my body when I put my hand in his; it was like nothing I had ever felt before. What if that had something to do with what happened in the field? To me, it did not sound like a good defense, admitting that I had let my guard down around Thanos, who was clearly our enemy.

  Then there was dealing with the Leaders' questioning. They were going to ask about things I knew nothing about, and it seemed as though no amount of thinking was going to pull those memories into focus. What had happened out in the field? Why was I in the center of all of it? How had the Resurrectors died? I probably had as many, if not more, questions than the Leaders about this. Right now the only answer I could give was that Thanos had done something, that he had made me lose control of myself somehow.

  I just wanted this mess to be over with. I wanted answers, and I wanted things to go back to how they used to be, when none of this was happening. I wanted to go back to when there was nothing in my life than helping charges and spending time with Sitara, Alaula, Kiran, and Damir. I wanted it to go back to when we all went to the mall and spent time playing games in the arcade. I missed the times when we would sit in the food court and watch the other people there, even going so far as to make up stories about what their lives were like.

  But things were never going to be like that again, no matter how badly I wished they were.

  I groaned, that last thought making me feel even more lost. I wanted answers. Why couldn't I remember what happened? Had Thanos really done something to me after saying that he would not harm me, that he was not after me? Of course he had; who else would have done anything to me? It wasn’t as if a lot of people know about us Resurrectors. I felt the tears leaking out of the corners of my eyes and I couldn't even reach up to wipe them away. I tried to move my arms again just in case the weighty feeling was temporary and I couldn't. Every
part of my body was now filled with a tingling that overtook everything else, almost the same feeling as if my foot had fallen asleep but it was over my whole person. So even if every part of me didn’t feel so heavy, I doubt I would have been able to move anyway, not without a full body massage.

  I closed my eyes and just lost it. It was clear that I couldn't do anything, but the feeling of uselessness, the feeling that I was alone was too much to deal with. I had to rest; that much was obvious. Perhaps it was because of how much I had pushed myself that I was now in this predicament. I had heard of people's mental states degrading due to overwork and lack of sleep. That had to be what was happening to me. This was something I know my friends had worried about, and I know a lot of other Resurrectors had discussed. This was what happened when a Resurrector lost focus on everything but work. They said that madness would overtake a person, that there was more to life than work, but I had always believed that work was all I needed. With the way I felt now, I was beginning to think the others were right. I should have spent more time relaxing and enjoying myself.

  I felt like I was losing everything and that feeling was enough to make me feel…I didn't even know. Empty. Betrayed. Confused. Things were collapsing and I had no idea how to make it right. All I wanted now was to get answers, to fill the gap in my memory of the past couple days, and then to recharge myself and get back out in the world to do what I did best, to heal those who were on the brink of death and to stop Death from taking those who were not ready to go.

  I could not take staring up at the ceiling anymore, so I cried myself to sleep, hoping my dreams would give me answers. If not, then perhaps rest would give me a better clarity once awake.