The Raven Four: (The Raven Four Series, Book 1)

by Sorensen, Jessica

  I shake my head again, tears burning my eyes. “No, I’m not going to. I’m staying with you. I’m not going to hurt—”

  Arms wrap around me, and then I’m being pulled upward, toward the sky. I’m dead, and I’m going upward. But that can’t be right.

  No, when I die, and if there is a Heaven and a Hell, I definitely won’t be going upward.

  You’ve got it wrong.

  You’re going the wrong way.

  I need to go back down—

  I gasp as I break the surface of the water then cough as the air burns my lungs.

  “Are you fucking crazy?” Zay glares at me as he holds me in his arms, swimming us over to the shore, the water rushing around us.

  I want to answer him, but I’m chattering too hard to form any coherent words.

  He shakes his head, his muscles wound tight, water dripping from his soaked hair and onto his face. “Why the hell did you jump?”

  I want to gape at his stupid question, but exhaustion is grasping ahold of me. My eyelids start to lower as water drips down my face.

  “Don’t you dare go to sleep,” he growls as he drags me onto the shore.

  My clothes are soaking wet, and I realize my jacket is no longer on my body.

  “You wanted to be stubborn, so you keep it up,” Zay says, leaning over me, his storm cloud eyes full of fire. “Do you understand?”

  I give a feeble nod. Or, well, I think I do. My head feels so heavy.

  “My jacket …” I mutter. “I need it …”

  “Forget your fucking jacket,” Zay snap, droplets of water dripping from his lips as snowflakes fall around him. “It’s gone.”

  I start to cry. Well, I think I would, except my eyes are too frozen. “I need it … It’s important to me …”

  When he lets go of me, I peel my eyelids open and try to move, but my arms are useless lumps of frozen flesh. So instead, I slump into the dirt.

  Zay shouts something, his words muffled, sounding so far away. I’m drifting into the cold with the snowflakes …

  Hunter’s gorgeous face appears over mine, his skin as pale as the snow. “Jesus,” he whispers. “I can’t believe you did that, little raven. Why …?” He crouches down beside me and rakes his fingers through his hair. “We need to get her somewhere warm.”

  Again, I don’t understand why they’re acting as if they had no part in me jumping.

  Jax only adds to that confusion as he rushes down the hill, shouting, “We need to get her in the car and get her warmed up before hypothermia kicks in!” When he reaches us, he nudges Hunter out of the way and scoops me up into his arms.

  A drop of warmth starts to seep into me as his body heat engulfs me, but the cold hastily takes over again.

  Numb.

  I feel numb.

  I feel nothing.

  Weightless.

  And it’s kind of blissful.

  “Get the car running,” he orders as he jogs up the muddy, snowy incline that leads to where the SUV is parked.

  Hunter hurries ahead, running up the hill much quicker than Jax, but he’s also not carrying my frozen ass. That doesn’t explain where Zay is.

  I try to peer around Jax and see what Zay is doing, but my body is useless. Giving up, I turn my head toward Jax’s chest and close my eyes.

  He feels so warm…

  And smells like snow…

  Snow I could drift away with…

  Drift away back to that peace I felt for a split second as I sank…

  “Raven, look at me.” Jax’s demanding tone yanks me out of my daze.

  My eyes roll in my head as I try to do what he said.

  Dizzy. Everything is spinning. But I’m starting to not feel cold anymore.

  “Dammit, open your eyes,” he orders with a trace of anger in his tone. “Or I’m going to pry them open.”

  I force my eyelids open, but only to glare at him.

  “Don’t look at me like that. You keep your damn eyes open or I’ll do it for you. And it’ll be a lot more painful if I do it.” His expression is hard, his eyes as cold as that damn water.

  I want to keep on glaring at him, but it’s becoming extremely complicated the more numbed over my body gets.

  My eyes roll into the back of my head again as my eyelids force their way closed.

  “Dammit,” he curses, quickening his pace. I’m not sure it’s going to do any good. I’m fairly sure I’m dying. And while part of me is scared shitless over the idea, another part of me, a part I wasn’t even aware existed, welcomes it.

  I deserve to die for what I did to them.

  I continue fading in and out of consciousness until Jax sets me down. That startles me enough that I force my eyelids open to see where I am. I half-expect to be lying in the snow somewhere with them beside me, digging my grave. But I’m not. No, I’m lying on the back seat of the SUV, soaking wet and shivering. I can’t see any of The Raven Three, so maybe they decided to set me in here while they dig my grave …

  “Are there any blankets in the back?” Jax’s voice floats from somewhere.

  “Yeah, I keep a couple in there for …” Hunter trails off. “Well, I guess that doesn’t matter right now.”

  Jax sighs. “Just go get them.”

  A beat of silence skips by, and my eyelids close.

  “So, we’re gonna just what? Wrap her in blankets?” Zay snaps harshly. “That’s your brilliant fucking idea.”

  “No, we’re going to take her clothes off first,” Jax replies over the sound of banging. “You and Hunter can do that, while we drive back to the house. Then we’ll figure things out from there.”

  WTF? They’re going to take my clothes off?

  “And what if this doesn’t work?” Zay snaps. “What if she—”

  “She’s not,” Jax insists, though a drop of worry resides in his tone. “God, this is a disaster. I should’ve just gone with my gut instinct and not let you follow through with your stupid plan. We don’t need to be dealing with this shit right now. Not with everything else going on. We should be focusing on bigger, more important things.”

  “Yeah, well … I didn’t think she’d jump,” Zay bites back. Then he lowers his voice to a whisper. “Why do you think she did?”

  “I have no idea,” Jax mutters. “But I guess, now that this is happened, we might have to find out.” He sounds less than pleased about that.

  Again, it grows quiet, and panic manages to rise inside me, lacing with the cold.

  They said they’re going to take my clothes off? Are they going to rape me before they kill me?

  No, no, no!

  I try to flip over so I can crawl off the seat and out of the car. The door above my head is open, so all I need to do is get that far. Then I can tumble into the snow and … Well, I don’t really know where I’ll go from there. All I know is I’ve got to get out of here.

  By some miracle, I get my body turned over. But as I’m dragging myself toward the edge of the seat, Zay steps up in front of the open door.

  His hoodie is off, so I finally get a good look at him. His short, brown hair is covered in snowflakes, his eyes are somehow darker, and that scar I noticed earlier is way more prominent in the daylight.

  As he stares at me silently with a hesitant expression, I start to slide back on the seat to try to climb out the other side. The movement seems to draw him out of his hesitancy and he moves, climbing into the back seat with me. Then he shuts the door and peels off his wet shirt.

  I attempt to move, panic soaring through me. Holy hell, being frozen makes it really freakin’ complicated to move, so I barely get anywhere before Zay grabs the sleeve of my plaid shirt.

  “Easy,” he says as he sits me up and pulls me toward him, even while I try to kick and hit him. My efforts are pathetic, and before I know it, I’m sitting right beside him. Or, well, leaning against him since I can’t hold my body up very well.

  He pauses, staring at me undecidedly. “You’re gonna have to chill while I do this. Don’
t fight or it’s going to complicate things.”

  Is he kidding me?

  “N-no,” I chatter.

  He rolls his eyes then start tugging off my plaid shirt. I lift my hand and push against his chest, but he merely removes my hand and yanks the soaked fabric off me, tossing it into the back. Then he reaches for the hem of my shirt.

  As a glimmer of strength blazes through me, I grip his hands. “S-stop,” I chatter, my body shaking, either from the cold or the fear.

  He rolls his eyes again. “Stop being a pain in the ass. I’m trying to help you.” Then he tugs my shirt over my head and throws it back with my other shirt.

  I hug my arms around myself, every muscle in my body quivering.

  Oh my God, this is really going to happen …

  Zay shifts his weight forward, reaching toward my feet, but then he pauses, his gaze locking on my side.

  I know what he’s looking at, and I hate it. Hate that he can see all the ugliness all over me. Hate that he can see me at all.

  Blinking then shaking his head, he leans down and tugs off my boots. I move to kick him, but he easily swats away my lethargic attempts. Dizziness overtakes me again, and I slump back against the seat, my eyelids lowering as I veer toward passing out.

  Zay works on peeling my tights off, and I try to kick him again, but my legs won’t budge and he gets those off. Next, he moves toward my shorts. That’s when I really begin to freak the hell out and that will I thought was lost ignites.

  “Stop … Stop … Stop …” I tip to the side, digging my fingernails into the edge of the seat, pulling myself away from him and toward the door.

  “Goddammit,” Zay growls out. “Will you just hold still?”

  I shake my head as I grab the door handle, but the door swings open on its own. Hunter appears on the other side with an armful of blankets, snowflakes falling around him. When he catches sight of me, he frowns, his gaze straying to Zay.

  “Why don’t you have her clothes off already?” he asks him. “You need to move more quickly, Zay. I mean, I know you have issues with this shit, but get over it.”

  “I’m trying to take off her clothes.” Zay grabs ahold of my ankle. “She’s not being very cooperative.”

  Hunter’s gaze returns to me. “Little raven, you gotta relax and let us help you.”

  “Just hold her down,” Zay tells him, “while I take off her shorts.”

  “No,” I plead with Hunter.

  He ignores me, setting the blankets down on the floor. Then he hops into the car and rolls me over, holding my arms. “Just relax.” He stares down at me while skimming his thumb along the inside of my wrist.

  I can barely feel the movement. Can barely feel Zay tugging my shorts down my legs. Can barely feel anything.

  Numb.

  I am numb.

  This isn’t happening.

  I’m not going to feel it.

  Somehow, through the sea of numbness consuming my body, tears force their way into the corners of my eyes.

  Hunter’s eyes soften, and then he lets go of one of my wrists to brush away a tear with the pad of his thumb. “Aw, don’t cry. We’re not going to let anything happened to you. You’re one of us now.”

  His words barely register as he looks at Zay. “Are you sure you can handle this? It might be better if I do it.”

  “I … I can handle it.”

  “You don’t sound so sure.”

  “Oh, shut the hell up … I’m fine.” He doesn’t sound fine, though. He sounds like he’s freaking out. “And besides, I need to warm up, too.” He sucks in an uneven breath. “Just give her to me. I can handle this.”

  “If you say so.” Hunter sounds doubtful as he helps me sit up until I’m facing Zay. He’s only wearing a pair of boxers now, and all I have on is my bra and underwear. But even the little scraps of clothing I have left give me no sense of security. Even worse, Jax has climbed into the driver’s seat.

  He cranks up the heat, flips on the windshield wipers, then casts a glance back at us. “Is everyone good?”

  “Yep,” Hunter answers, reaching down to pick up the blankets.

  Jax drives forward then turns the vehicle around while Zay pulls me onto his lap. I try to fight, but I’m pretty sure my body has shut down.

  Moments later, my chest is pressed against his, and his body heat seeps into my skin.

  Warmth.

  I thought I’d never feel it again.

  Never thought I’d be this close to anyone ever again.

  I’ve been so cold for the last handful of years.

  It’s been a long time since I’ve been touched, I realize this now, and I stupidly sink into it instead of pushing away.

  Weak. I’m so weak right now.

  “Wrap the blankets around us,” Zay mutters, slipping his arms around me and tucking my head beneath his chin, a move that confuses the hell out of me.

  “Fuck, she’s so cold.” His muscles stiffen as he pulls me closer against him until my ear is resting against his chest right where his heart is beating. Soaring. So, so fast. He’s either got a lot of adrenaline rushing through him or he’s freaking the hell out.

  What would scare him, though? He’s the one who’s scary …

  Fabric touches my back and more warmth spills across me.

  Maybe he isn’t going to hurt me …

  My eyelids lower as I breathe the feeling in, wanting to go to sleep.

  “Just keep ahold of her until we get to the house,” Jax says. “Then we’ll figure out how to handle this.”

  “I was planning on it,” Zay’s heartbeat echoes in my ear. It sounds like the flutter of a hummingbird’s wings, so fast, so panicky. “But she’s really fucking cold.”

  “She’ll be fine,” Jax assures him. “We just need to get her to the house.”

  They grow quiet after that, and I start to let sleepiness grab ahold of me.

  “She jumped,” Zay suddenly mumbles, skimming his fingers up and down my spine. “I can’t believe she did it … I didn’t think she would … If I had …”

  “I know,” Jax says. “I didn’t think she would either. No one ever has. Well, except for us.”

  “But, even we didn’t do it during the brink of winter,” Hunter points out. “She made us look like pussies.”

  “Yeah, I guess she did.” I can’t tell which one of them says this, their voices starting to blur together as exhaustion cocoons me.

  “You know what this means, right?” one of them says.

  Another skip of silence and then …

  “Yeah, The Raven Three have just become The Raven Four.”

  Chapter Nine

  Warm blood covers my hands as I stare down at my parents. Blood is all over them, covering their clothes, their hair.

  Why is there so much blood? And why is it all over my hands?

  “Mom,” I whisper as I collapse to my knees.

  I can’t remember how I got here. Can’t remember where the blood came from. All I can remember is the screaming. So much screaming.

  “Raven! No!” my mom shouts a plea. “Please don’t do this, sweetie. You don’t want to do this. Just go. Run!”

  But I can’t go. Not until I get to her.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I can’t forget.”

  She screams—

  My eyelids flutter open as I leave the hazy memory and return to … well, I’m not really sure where I am. From what I can tell, I’m in a large bed with lots of pillows and blankets around me.

  Blinking, I peer around, my confusion deepening. The bedroom, if that's even what it is, looks almost as big as my house. It has a gothic ambiance with black walls, matching trimming, and a giant fireplace with a fire currently crackling in it. The ceiling is domed and painted a midnight blue with a thorny chandelier dangling from it. And the bed I’m in has four massive, ebony posts and is enclosed by black curtains.

  “Is this Hell?” I mutter as I slowly sit up.

  Everything is so d
ark, like I imagine Hell would be. But if I am in Hell, then that means I’m dead.

  I press my hand to my chest, feeling my heart beat against my hand.

  So I’m alive. I’m also wearing someone else’s shirt, and my body feels like it was run over by truck. Or like it slammed into a freezing cold river …

  As memories of what happened gradually surface, I throw the blankets off me. Then I frown. My legs aren’t covered up by anything.

  “Crap,” I breathe out, recalling how Hunter held me down while Zay tugged down my shorts. But then he had hugged me against his chest, which was confusing. After that, things become hazy and that sends a trickle of fear through me. The last time I blacked out …

  Blood on my hands.

  Murderer.

  Scooting to the edge of the bed, I lower my feet to the floor, wanting to get up and get the hell out of here … wherever here is.

  When I stand up, my legs wobble, but I put one leg in front of the other and gradually stumble over to the dresser. Then I open the drawers, hoping to find some pants. But all that’s inside are knives and a bunch of other weapons.

  I need to get out of here.

  Abandoning my plan to get some pants, I shuffle toward the door, where I pause for a second, listening for any sounds coming from the other side. When only silence graces my ears, I twist the knob, open the door, and step out …

  Into the longest and widest hallway I’ve ever seen.

  I glance left then right, both directions seeming endless. No windows are around either, so the only light is flowing from antique lanterns hanging up on the walls.

  Great. How in the hell am I supposed to find my way out of here?

  “Come on, Raven; think of a way to get out of this.” I pinch the brim of my nose as my head pounds.

  I really need a painkiller.

  What I need is a map of this house. Or my phone. But Jax threw that out the window, something my aunt is going to yell at me for. That is, if I ever get out of here.

  No, I’m going to. I’ve made it through jumping off a bridge. Getting out of a house should be a piece of cake.

  Cake. God, I’m hungry.

  When my stomach grumbles, I take a deep breath then start down the right side of the hallway. Every one of my muscles screams in protest, but I force myself to keep going, to find my way out of here …