In the Long Run

by Haley Cass

  Mostly, though, she’d been glad that just as she’d turned fifteen, her sexuality had finally been able to experience some peace.

  Yet somehow, twenty-five years later, she was in the same spot.

  The damn Taylor effect. Except right now, it was worse. Because she should have it together, because she wasn’t a fucking teenager anymore.

  Ugh.

  Brooke scooted sideways, making Taylor’s hand fall from her leg.

  “I didn’t know you could cook.” Genuine surprise colored Taylor’s voice, pulling Brooke back to the moment. “This is delicious.”

  She hadn’t even realized everyone had started to eat. And, truthfully, she wasn’t that hungry right now. But to make a point to herself, she took a helping of her spaghetti and some of the salad Savannah had likely made.

  Brooke pulled in a deep breath before she pushed it back out. Normal. Totally normal, just like every Sunday. “I mean, I’m not Wolfgang Puck.”

  “Thankfully. Much easier on the eyes.” The comment slipped from Taylor’s lips as easily as those sort of flirty comments always did.

  But the anxiety still landed heavily in Brooke’s stomach and she cut her eyes to give Taylor a look. No one even batted an eye, she realized a moment later, her heart rate evening out. Savannah just nodded in amused agreement. Why would anyone bat an eye, though, when Taylor was just a flirty person?

  For once, that came in handy.

  She was able to slightly relax into the comfort of Sunday dinner – Taylor’s presence next to her still making her buzz with all sorts of discomforting feelings, but that couldn’t be helped. Jo ate up most of the conversation, which Brooke was grateful for, for multiple reasons.

  Because it was nice to hear Jo be engaged in conversation with them for longer than ten minutes, for one thing. But mostly because all of Jo’s questions revolved around Taylor’s travels, and that reminded Brooke of the very comforting fact that this evening? Was likely the actual last time she’d see Taylor for a good while.

  Because Taylor was going to leave soon. She always did.

  “And… what are you doing here now?” Jo asked quizzically, tilting her head in question as she looked at them from across the table.

  Brooke angled herself away from the heat of Taylor’s body and arched an eyebrow at the question that still remained unanswered from earlier. The one she very much wanted to know. “Yes, what are you doing here?”

  She suddenly regretted asking, because of the gleam in Taylor’s eyes. She narrowed her own, trying to telepathically tell Taylor to absolutely not bring anything up that had happened between them.

  No, she still didn’t think Taylor came to tease her. And she knew, she knew, that Taylor definitely couldn’t have come to seek out… another night together. It just wouldn’t – that wasn’t Taylor. But a nervous buzz shot through her stomach as she wondered.

  “I, uh –” Taylor cleared her throat as she shot a look at Savannah.

  It was quick, but Brooke didn’t miss it, and she slowly dragged her gaze between the two of them in suspicion.

  “And since when do you want to stay in Faircombe for over three months?” Ben asked, the disbelief clear in his tone.

  And Brooke promptly choked on the bite she’d just taken, her heart pounding against her ribs.

  Three months? Three months? “Three months?” She managed to get out. “You’re here for three months?”

  Taylor reached up and patted her on the back before Brooke could even try to move away from it. And once her hand was there, moving gently as Brooke’s final coughs evened out, she couldn’t twist away from it without looking incredibly weird. But she was very aware of that hand, an uneasy electricity sliding along her spine.

  “I’m not leaving until January.” Taylor kept her hand on Brooke’s back as she spoke, though, her fingers moving ever so slightly as she cleared her throat again. “I’m… doing a project for work.”

  “Yeah! Your project.” Savannah nodded enthusiastically.

  Brooke drew her eyebrows down together. “Work?” She repeated skeptically. “How does Faircombe fit into your work?”

  “Seriously!” Jo’s voice echoed some of Brooke’s incredulity, but also released on a squeal of excitement. “Here? How do you go from Malaysia to… here?”

  Taylor slowly drew her hand down Brooke’s back before she let it fall, and she looked down at her plate, big brown eyes narrowed in concentration as she spoke, “I’ve been… thinking… about doing a list. For a while, now.” She nodded with the words, nodding again a moment later, more vigorously as she turned to meet Brooke’s dubious stare. “A list of the top ten Hidden Gems of the American South. It’s been long coming.”

  She sounded so certain, it left very little room for doubt, even though Brooke was still kind of doubtful.

  But what the hell else could it be? What, Taylor came all the way here to sleep with Brooke again, because she just couldn’t get enough and couldn’t find someone else who wanted her just as much?

  That was definitely more implausible.

  It took everything in Brooke not to bang her head into the table.

  ***

  She was still reeling from it an hour later, as dinner came to a close, and even though she almost always stayed for a bit just to talk with Ben and occasionally also Savannah – well, she definitely wasn’t staying tonight.

  Ben turned to her as if sensing her thoughts. “Why don’t you grab the cards so I can kick your ass in poker? I’ll meet you out there after I finish cleaning up.”

  Her eyes darted to look at Taylor, who was already watching her with a soft head tilt, lifting her eyebrows. And a gleam in her eye that just said clearly to Brooke, I’ve seen you naked.

  Scowling she turned back to Ben. “No. I – uh – can’t.”

  Which, damn it, sucked because she’d been on a damn good winning streak against both him and Savannah for the last few weeks.

  Ben stared at her in disbelief. “You’re gonna break your winning streak in cards? You feeling all right?” He used his joking tone, but there was a very real concern in his eyes, his eyebrows lifting up high.

  Brooke rolled her eyes. “I’m fine. I just have to finish going over the proposals before the week starts.”

  Ben sighed, shooting her a look. “On a Sunday night? Brooke Watson, I swear to god, you’re going to work yourself into an early grave. There is no way you can convince me that whatever you’ve got on your docket tonight has got to be done tomorrow.”

  They both knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t get that behind on work. Never had, never would.

  Taylor’s amused gaze ping-ponged between them, before settling warmly on Brooke. “You know, Brooke, if you’re not staying on my account, I can make myself scarce and unpack a bit.”

  Brooke hated that she was so easily read, but of course Taylor knew it was on her account.

  Ben now stared between the two of them, speaking slowly, “Why would it be on your account that Brooke isn’t staying? Brooke’s always enjoyed beating everyone at cards. Especially you?”

  Damn it, Ben was right. They all knew it.

  Brooke felt the heat creep up her neck at the look Ben threw her, and damningly almost melted in relief when Taylor shrugged, looking perfectly natural. “You know, my first night in town and all. Giving us some time to settle in.”

  Didn’t sound like her at all, but she jumped on it anyway. “Right. And I’m a little tired, doc, so I’ll keep the work to a minimum.”

  And spend some time preparing herself for three months of Taylor’s visit. But, she tried to tell herself, how hard could it be? They’d had Sunday dinner together hundreds of times before and it wasn’t like they’d be seeing each other any other time.

  Granted, that was before Taylor was giving her that look that made Brooke’s stomach clench.

  She didn’t know why she wasn’t expecting Taylor to say, “I’ll walk you to the door.”

  Because… of course, she
did.

  Ben gave Taylor a questioning look as Brooke narrowed her eyes at her. “I think I know the way at this point.”

  “Just simple manners,” Taylor provided both of them with a large, guileless smile that looked so easy and natural, that if Brooke didn’t know any better, she would just think this was Taylor being Taylor.

  Which clearly, Ben did, as he shrugged and shot her a grin before heading into the kitchen.

  Without waiting for Taylor to say anything else, she turned and headed through the living room.

  With Taylor’s longer legs, though, she easily kept Brooke’s pace.

  Taylor leaned in close as they walked toward the front door, that sunshine smell enveloping her before Brooke could anticipate what was happening. Her voice was a husky murmur in Brooke’s ear, “Come up to my room before you leave.”

  Heat raced through Brooke’s stomach as she whirled around to face her, face flushing, as she heatedly whispered, “I absolutely will not.”

  Taylor let out a throaty chuckle as she leaned back and gave Brooke a look. “What, do you think I’m going to take you up to my childhood bedroom and relive our night together?”

  “Don’t,” Brooke grit out, looking over her shoulder.

  “Why are you acting like it’s the end of the world? It’s not like it’s the first time anything ever happened between us,” Taylor wiggled her eyebrows, a slow smile stealing over her lips.

  Good god.

  She did her very best long ago to wipe their single past kiss from her memory. And given that it had been almost twenty years since, she’d succeeded. Generally. That kiss from nineteen years ago existed only in a deep, quieted recess in her mind.

  Mostly, she’d hoped that Taylor would have also forgotten about it too, because she was positive that Taylor had kissed plenty of women since then. Enough to put theirs to shame.

  She unintentionally raked her eyes down Taylor’s body before realizing what she was doing, zipping them back up as she berated herself. And landed her gaze on impossibly soft lips. Yeah. Taylor had undoubtedly kissed many, many more women.

  Brooke scrubbed a hand over her face, shaking the thoughts away, annoyed at herself for having them. And annoyed at Taylor for bringing it up. “It’s not the same thing and you know it. But we don’t talk about that because it’s humiliating,” she hissed, before taking in a deep breath and straightening her spine, as she met Taylor’s dark gaze and held it with her own. “But it doesn’t matter. Because it’s not going to happen again – none of it. Faircombe’s big enough for the two of us to mind our own business.”

  “This town’s big enough for the both of us?” Taylor quipped, putting on an incredibly cringey, put-upon accent that made herself laugh.

  Brooke closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh, definitely not allowing herself to grin at the ridiculous impression.

  “You can just do your – work,” she muttered, still giving Taylor a side-eye about the so-called work she had to do. How hard could making a list be? “And I’ll do mine. And we won’t be sneaking off to bedrooms together, because that was a single night of insanity. Think we can do that?”

  “If that’s what you want,” Taylor conceded, keeping her gaze on Brooke’s face as she spoke, grinning slowly. “Though I am prone to moments of insanity,” she whispered, teasingly.

  Hazel eyes narrowed and you know what? Brooke was positive that the upside of Taylor’s long-term presence was that it would crush any sort of desire she would feel. It had to. It almost had, in her youth. And she had far more self-control, now.

  “Well, I’m not.” She nodded with finality, so, there, and turned to leave.

  “Hey, Brooke?” Taylor’s voice stopped her before she could walk out the door.

  Everything inside of her wanted to keep walking. Only… for whatever damning reason, she just couldn’t. With that nagging feeling in her stomach, Brooke slowly turned her head, taking in a deep breath before slowly letting it out, lifting an eyebrow in question.

  Those expressive dark honey eyes glinted in amusement, those full lips moving into a sly smile before Taylor murmured, “Regards.”

  Brooke scowled as her nerves jumbled with indignance and embarrassment. That stupid note. She couldn’t just leave the hotel without saying… anything. She’d tried. But then she just felt this niggling guilt in her stomach because, well, she knew Taylor would never do that to her.

  So, she’d worked through the note quickly, waffling on every other word – what did someone say in something like that? Ugh.

  She marched through the door, shutting it with a satisfying snap behind her.

  ***

  Much later that night, after Savannah had left with plans for Taylor to come by in the morning for their first yoga session, Taylor sat on the edge of her bed and bounced a bit, testing the firmness of the mattress. Not that it really mattered; she could sleep just about anywhere.

  And she’d certainly be sleeping well tonight; she’d been up for a solid twenty-two hours at this point, having flown into Memphis for four in the morning, and it was now almost midnight.

  It was… it was weird, she decided. This feeling in her stomach felt weird, knowing that she was going to be settling in here for months. That she was going to be staying in one place – any one place – for three months.

  It only really hit her now, as she sat and looked around the room. It used to be her bedroom, when she’d been growing up. Ben now lived in their parents’ master bedroom, Jo was in the room Savannah had grown up in. And Taylor’s old room was the guest room. It was tidy, organized, and all adorned with furniture that clearly wasn’t used all that often.

  But the walls were still painted the sky blue color she’d adorned them with when she’d turned sixteen. She could see, when she squinted, the little carving of her initials into the baseboard in the right corner, from when she’d carved them when she’d been twelve.

  And right now, she wasn’t passing by for a weekend. She was settling in. Settling into Faircombe. “I’m settling in to Faircombe,” she murmured, testing the words aloud.

  Yeah, it still felt weird. She was happy to see Savannah and the fact that she really did have a glow. She’d loved her ecstatic greeting from Jo, she really did.

  And… yeah, she’d very much enjoyed her run in with Brooke. The shocked, widening of her eyes, the intensity of her gaze. She’d enjoyed it more than she’d thought she would, which was saying something because it wasn’t as if she’d thought she wouldn’t –

  She looked up at the soft knock on her door. “Come on in.”

  She’d expected Jo to be sneaking in past her bedtime to ask Taylor for stories, as was their custom, much to Ben’s chagrin. And she blinked in surprise when it was her brother who pushed the door open.

  “Hey,” she greeted with a tentative smile.

  “Hey,” Ben echoed, shifting back and forth on his feet. It reminded her a lot of the kid he’d been – super skinny and always unsure, quiet.

  Only, when he’d been a kid, Ben had loved to hang out with her. Even though she’d been his older sister, even when she’d get in trouble with their dad for acting out – Ben always liked to spend time with her.

  That had shifted as adults. So much that by now Taylor, though she felt comfortable with just about everyone, even strangers, always felt somewhat like she was uncertain when with her little brother. Somewhere along the way, they’d lost that ease, that closeness, and she could never quite pinpoint where.

  And she’d given up trying, otherwise it would have driven her insane.

  “Look –”

  “Ben –”

  They spoke and stopped at the same time, Taylor laughing at it through her travel-induced exhaustion.

  Ben’s lips twitched in a small but genuine smile. It was warm, but she missed the big, full smiles he used to have when they’d laugh together. Always polite, he gestured for her to talk first.

  “I was just going to say, I’m sorry for surprising you. I should
have called you too, not just your office,” she conceded, biting her lip. The thing was, she just rarely called Ben. He called her even less.

  It felt… strange.

  It was easier, though, calling his office. Easier to face their somewhat stilted – never unpleasant but stilted – conversations that way. And she’d taken the cowardly way out of having to face her relationship with Ben by hoping Savannah would lay the groundwork for her. She could admit that.

  Ben nodded, clearing his throat. “Yeah, that would have been nice.” He gave her that small, somewhat lopsided smile again, before he blew out a deep breath. “But, it’s… it really is fine. I just, I don’t want you to feel like I don’t want you here. You really caught me off guard, kind of appearing and then – I mean, you’re staying for three months.”

  His eyebrows drew down low, confusion evident.

  “It just threw me off-guard, like I said. But you know you’re always welcome here. Just wanted to say sorry if it didn’t sound like it, earlier.”

  He was being genuine, she could tell. And it did make her feel that little bit better; maybe their relationship wasn’t close, but it wasn’t nonexistent.

  “We’re good,” she offered, and for the most part, she meant it.

  He gave her another smile and a nod. “Great. Good. Uh, you have the towels you need? Bedding? I would have done it all up fresh if I knew, but, no one’s stayed in here since the last time Mom and Dad came to visit a couple months ago.”

  She waved him off. “Nah, I’m good. Thanks. Besides, if I did need anything, I know where to find it.”

  After all, she had grown up here. Ben seemed to realize that too, as he nodded.

  “Right.” Ben nodded again, before tapping his knuckles lightly against the door in a sign of awkwardness. “So. Goodnight.”

  “’Night, Ben.”

  Yeah… she blew out a deep breath as he closed the door. Weird.

  Savannah was so, so lucky Taylor loved her so much.

  Chapter Six