In the Long Run

by Haley Cass

  “Hey, that’s an idea! Not the getting arrested part, but – why don’t you two take a walk around together? Taylor, you just said you loved Fall Fest and it’s the first one you’ve been to since… when? You were eighteen?” Savannah proposed, her expression bright and hopeful.

  The question sent a jolt through Taylor, as the memory of the last Fall Fest she’d seen shot through her. The night she’d left Faircombe. It left her blinking widely at the thought – something she hadn’t really had on her mind in a long time.

  Ben’s eyebrows drew down, as he slid his eyes back and forth between them. “Uh, sure. I guess, if you want?” He offered to her, tucking his hands awkwardly into his pockets, in a way that reminded her vividly of when he’d been far younger.

  A way he looked when he was younger and didn’t really feel all that comfortable saying no to their parents.

  She bit back a sigh, forcing her lips to tick into a small smile. “No, don’t worry about it.”

  He shifted back and forth on his feet as Savannah sighed loudly behind both of them and wiped down the counter.

  “All right then. I mean, if you want to walk around, I can switch with you so Savannah isn’t shorthanded?”

  And that was how she found herself wandering around the Fall Festival by herself, feeling the slightest bit… well, anxious, that someone else was going to approach her.

  She could do this; she could be here for Savannah, and she wanted to be. She did.

  Honestly, it surprised her how much so. She never got enough time with Savannah, even if they did talk or video chat frequently, took trips whenever schedules allowed. Two nights ago, they’d sat on Savannah’s living room floor, leaning back against the soft cushions of her couch as they’d sipped on sparkling cider to substitute for the wine they normally shared on their hangouts.

  Savannah had thrown her head back and laughed, hiccuping as they remembered one of the many times she’d attempted to walk Taylor through a baking, having resulted in the kitchen of the suite Taylor had rented in Osaka being set aflame, while the parenting book Taylor had ordered, lay open near their feet.

  Her sister rested her head back against the couch and gave Taylor a look that spoke of total relaxation. “Sister nights are even better when they aren’t virtual.”

  And Taylor… could really only agree, as she nudged her sister’s knee with her own. “Build me a teleportation device. I’ll be here every single damn week.”

  It was just that the back-to-back Mrs. Hibbard and Chief Ed McCord sightings… well, it was to be expected, sure. She knew that; she’d known it when she’d made the decision to come back.

  It hadn’t been expected for her to feel such a strong reaction. And, honestly, it upset her. Because she’d made peace with these feelings, with the issues of her youth, long ago. At least, she’d thought she had. She’d spent a lot of time in her travels soul-searching and finding a peace that had eluded her throughout her youth.

  And yet, here she was, in Faircombe and having her stomach tied in knots over the past. It was upsetting.

  So, she took the break.

  ***

  Once she’d grabbed a little breathing room, it gave her the chance to do one of her favorite things: observe a celebration from the outskirts.

  It was something she did whenever she attended any sort of celebration – Burning Man, Carnaval, La Tomatina, Songkran Water Festival, Boryeong Mud Festival which was arguably her favorite, though it was hard to really say. She threw herself into all of the events with abandon: eating and drinking whatever was available, partaking in as many activities as she could handle, taking videos and pictures to preserve the memories.

  But first, she always spent a little time observing from the outside.

  She sat cross-legged with her back against the big oak tree that was nestled just on the far west side of town square, near the turn off for the high school, munching on the popcorn she’d bought, taking it all in. It was wild, really, how she could clearly see the defined groups, the cliques that had existed when she was growing up. Even if she didn’t recognize every person in town anymore, the archetypes were all the same.

  For a brief moment, she wished she had her camera; it made for a good down-home picture. The festival and the laughter in the downtown backdrop, with the sun just starting to set behind the brick buildings. It certainly wasn’t on the same scale as the celebrations she was used to seeing around the world, but it was… something.

  If nothing else, Faircombe was photogenic. She’d be restless in an aesthetically pleasing area for the next few months, at the very least.

  Her momentary peace was interrupted by a very familiar sounding sigh. And at it, Taylor perked up.

  She’d recognize Brooke’s sighs anywhere, even before Brooke came into her line of vision.

  Her glorious hair was down, seeming to be undecided of just how wavy it was going to be today, while the sunset caught streaks of it and appeared more copper than usual. She was dressed in dark jeans and a long-sleeve button down top, sleeves rolled up her forearms. Not even a totally casual day, even at a festival.

  That felt about right.

  A smile played at her mouth as she sat up straighter, anticipation glancing through her. Because, honestly, Brooke was one of the only things about Faircombe that was always stupendously interesting.

  “Kevin, this is a Saturday evening. It’s a town event. We can discuss this next week, since we have a meeting about it Friday,” she grit out and Taylor’s eyebrows lifted high on her forehead.

  That was even more aggravation than when she spoke to Taylor in the worst of times.

  Taylor stood and dusted herself off as she realized just who Brooke was talking to. Kevin Leland. She grimaced just seeing his face. He’d been her grade in school and while he’d always been popular – captain of the football team, prom king – he had also been one of the main assholes to her once she’d come out. Proof that being popular said nothing about who you were as a person.

  She did not need to say more about not getting along with him. Now he’d been the number one demographic of who she’d like to not interact with during this visit.

  However.

  “You need to listen –” He threw his hands in the air as he started on a rant that Taylor tuned out.

  Mostly because she hated the way he leaned in to tower over Brooke. With Brooke’s height, it was easy to do so, and even though she stood her ground, not appearing intimidated in the least, Taylor wasn’t about to sit around.

  “Brooke! There you are,” she called out as she sidled over.

  She took pleasure in both of their startled looks, for different reasons. Kevin’s because – asshole. And Brooke’s because, god, she just loved that flushed shocked stare, before she grit her teeth.

  “Taylor,” her name fell from Kevin’s mouth in the same obnoxious tone that it had back in high school, as he did nothing to disguise his glare toward her. “We’re having a discussion here.”

  “I, actually, have been needing to have my own discussion with Brooke, and it really can’t wait.” She gave him an overly warm smile, solid iron underneath, lifting her eyebrows at him, as she reached out and hooked her arm around Brooke’s.

  She could feel her lithe, firm muscle there, twitching under her arm and Taylor squeezed closer, without thinking. She could easily recall the smooth, warm skin over Brooke’s arms and the way they flexed when Brooke had fucked her.

  Such a surprise.

  An easy, pleasant warmth slid through her at the memory – tinged with an edge of disappointment in knowing it would definitely not be happening again.

  She’d known even before Brooke had said it last week, in no uncertain terms, that San Diego was a total one-off. A good one-off, for sure. A shockingly great one-off. But still.

  A muscle in Kevin’s jaw ticked as he stared hard at Brooke. “We’ll be talking about this again.”

  “Can’t freaking wait,” Brooke muttered darkly at him, the tone enough
to send a little shiver down Taylor’s spine.

  “You know, you can be oddly intimidating when you want to be,” she murmured as Kevin stalked away. Before she deliberately squeezed Brooke’s arm again; that time, she just really wanted to feel the way Brooke’s firm muscle tensed against her, as she winked. “Unless your audience has seen you lose your lunch due to public speaking. Or seen you nake –”

  Brooke jerked her arm out of Taylor’s before she whirled to face her, cheeks bright red. “Can you maybe not give Kevin a reason to think we’ve had sex? It’s the last thing I need right now.”

  A bark of laughter escaped Taylor as she shook her head at Brooke, amusement flicking to life inside of her. “How in the world did I give Kevin the impression that we’ve slept together?”

  “Touching me like that and you needing to have your own private discussion with me – we’re two of not a ton of lesbians in town; it doesn’t take much.” Brooke shot her a withering look as she took a deliberate step back from her.

  Taylor rolled her eyes. “You know, you act really aggrieved, when you were the one who left me in an empty hotel room.” She pointed out, one side of her mouth still curled up in a grin, even as her feelings of mirth at the situation died down a little at the look in Brooke’s eyes. “If one of us has the right to be offended, it really should be me.” She pointed at herself, tilting her head to dare Brooke to disagree.

  Brooke’s mouth fell open, a pretty flush spreading over her cheeks as she hissed, “We agreed we were never talking about that.”

  Those intense hazel eyes darted around as she looked for the nonexistent amount of people listening in. As if anyone could even hear them over the music blasting from multiple different points.

  Taylor held up a finger and waggled it playfully. “No, you agreed that we weren’t going to do it again –”

  “We agreed.” Brooke cut in, her jaw setting into the stubborn set that had always given Taylor such a little thrill.

  It was always so simple to rile Brooke up, to get her to a place where those eyes sparked, and those feelings that were clearly always hidden just below the surface came bubbling up. It was a passion Taylor inherently just plain enjoyed.

  “I mean, just for clarification’s sake,” she added, her voice light as she held Brooke’s gaze, holding her hands up defensively. “My agreement was implicit because you said it, and it only takes one person saying no for sex to not happen.”

  She only realized that it sounded like she really actually wanted to sleep with Brooke again once the words were out of her mouth and she – well, she wouldn’t say she didn’t want to, but she definitely knew it wouldn’t help Brooke calm down to even joke about.

  “Anyway, you said we weren’t doing it again, not that we couldn’t ever reference that it even happened.” Taylor wrinkled her nose, ducking her head to hold Brooke’s gaze, searching those hazel eyes, as some of her playfulness slipped away into serious. “It happened, though. We,” she lowered her voice in deference to Brooke, “Had sex. Good sex. And regardless of it not happening again, I don’t like to pretend things didn’t happen. Everything that happened is a part of who we are.”

  The unamused look Brooke shot her almost made her chuckle. It probably would have, if Brooke gave her the response Taylor expected from her, which was something along the lines of how much of a hippie Taylor sounded like. She enjoyed Brooke’s predictability like that.

  But instead, Brooke crossed her arms defensively over her chest. “Do you have to keep reminding me about it?”

  It was really only in that moment that Taylor could see how deeply this ate at Brooke. That the embarrassment over their night together wasn’t just about the fact that they’d had a one-night stand or any of the little things like that, but… that it was more personal.

  The sharp cut of Brooke’s gaze on her with those fucking crazy intense eyes, told her that there was just something more than that.

  Taylor tilted her head slowly, all amusement totally dying away as she asked, “Is it really that bad, for you? To have had a one night stand?”

  “No. It’s not about a one night stand, it’s about –” Brooke cut herself off, clenching her jaw tightly to cut off the rest of her words, shuffling on her feet.

  It was in the set of her shoulders, the way she cut her eyes toward Taylor and then around at the festival that it dawned on her. “It’s not about the sex; it’s that it was me?”

  Even as she said the words, a chill settled over her, hurt stinging in her chest.

  Brooke’s resounding silence confirmed them for her, and Taylor crossed her arms, surprised at how much that admission actually did sting, and unsure of how exactly to process that.

  “Oh.”

  If Brooke regretted their night together because it was not her norm, Taylor could get that. But she didn’t regret spending a night with Brooke at all. How could she? It was like she’d gotten to see a whole new side of someone she’d known for years, and had been surprised by what she’d seen.

  Very, very pleasantly surprised. And Taylor loved surprises.

  But the idea that Brooke was embarrassed about her, it was the opposite of a nice surprise. And she didn’t really know what to do with that.

  “I guess I didn’t think about that,” she murmured, reaching up and drawing a hand through her hair, before she blew out a breath. “I mean, I guess maybe I should have, right?” She attempted to joke, but couldn’t bring herself to really even smile with it.

  Ouch.

  “I…” Brooke broke off, huffing out an irritated breath as she grinded her teeth together, before she forced out the words, “Am not embarrassed, it’s…”

  Incredulity spread through Taylor and she shot Brooke a doubtful look. “Come on, just be honest, Brooke. We’ve always had that.” And, she told herself to soothe over those hurt feelings, if they could just talk and be honest about things, they could move on. That was the first step, always, to moving on from any negative situation.

  Brooke’s eyes narrowed, “I am being honest!”

  “Dear Taylor. Thank you for last night. The burritos, I mea–” She started her recitation of Brooke’s very endearing but without a doubt, born of embarrassment letter, but didn’t get far before Brooke slapped a hand over her mouth.

  It muffled the yelp of surprise she let out as Brooke stood less than a foot away, that subtle warm, woodsy scent of her filtering closer than the smells of the festival foods.

  She couldn’t help but grin slowly against Brooke’s warm palm over her lips, the wide-eyed embarrassed look on her face completely adorable and so very telling. Her lips felt warm and tingled at the touch, too, which was… new.

  “Not embarrassed?” She whispered as Brooke realized what she’d done and took her hand back, pressing the palm tightly against her thigh.

  Taylor rubbed her lips together. Interesting sensation. Very interesting.

  “Why are you like this?” Brooke groaned and shot Taylor a glare, her sharp jaw clenching before she released a sigh and tossed her hands in the air. “I’m – I just don’t do those sorts of things. Personal life… things… that aren’t easy or that get messy. And I have more than enough on my plate here without the town gossips getting wind of us having sex. That’s why we were supposed to be strangers. If I knew you were going to be in town two weeks later, it wouldn’t have happened,” she nodded with the words, the finality in her tone resounding.

  And it actually did soothe the slight sting Taylor had felt.

  “This might be the first time someone in Faircombe didn’t take the opportunity to call me easy,” she quipped, her voice soft as she rolled Brooke’s words around in her mind.

  Brooke stared at her for a beat before her lips ticked up into a reluctant smile and she rolled her eyes.

  “I’m not ashamed of…” Brooke’s eyes traveled down Taylor’s body and she felt her body respond easily to the look, even if it was quick before Brooke’s eyes darted back to her own. A hot feeling settled in th
e pit of her stomach – also unexpected, but Taylor wasn’t going to complain about it. Brooke cleared her throat. “But you being here makes it messy. And I have enough messy right now with everything else on my plate.” The stress dripped from her voice.

  “Brooke, I know you don’t want a repeat performance of San Diego. I understand that. We were in a totally new place for us and what happened that night was great, don’t get me wrong.” Really great. “But I didn’t come here to chase you down and ravish you in the middle of the Faircombe Fall Festival.”

  Brooke blushed, the redness spreading over her chest and her neck in her telltale giveaway, looking around once again to make sure they were still alone.

  “I can’t promise that I won’t make any comments to you. Because we both know who I am.” She added with a shameless smile, and a shrug; she wasn’t in the habit of making promises she couldn’t keep. “But I can swear that I will never give them something to gossip about.” Because, really, it was the last thing Taylor wanted, herself.

  Taylor offered her hand, anticipating whether or not Brooke would actually take it. “Here’s to you and I. Just two old friends. Or somethings, as you might say. Who might actually become friends?”

  Brooke eyed her warily, before she reluctantly took her hand, her fingers sliding slowly across Taylor’s palm as if she questioned herself the entire way, before their palms settled together. And that tingling feeling returned. So interesting. Because Taylor was a toucher. She inherently just did touch people she was close to, easily and without second thought.

  But she didn’t usually feel this immediate reaction from simple touches. She filed it away for later.

  Taylor squeezed and didn’t let Brooke’s hand drop, though, holding firm but not tight as she arched an eyebrow and a grin slid over her face as the gotcha moment settled in. “So… you admit it: Faircombe’s gossip mill sucks.”

  Brooke groaned but breathed out a laugh, one that seemed like she couldn’t help but let it out. “Fine. Yes. I don’t love the gossip mill. Are you happy?”

  “Extremely,” she winked and gave Brooke’s hand a tug to get her walking alongside Taylor as they started moving through the Festival. “Now, you can walk me back to Savannah’s booth to ensure I don’t get lost in this massive crowd.”