“I said to drop it.”
He lowered his voice and leaned into me. “I’m not going to bloody drop it, Grind. Tell me what the fuck you plan to do.”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Then come in. At least talk to Z.”
There were reasons I couldn’t do that. My sister knew it, and I got the impression Pia might too. No matter what the level of my injuries was, or my pain, I couldn’t function in an environment where having my wits about me at every conceivable moment was required.
“I’m not going to let this go, Grind.”
I saw Pia walk back into the ballroom. She looked over at me and then scanned the crowd. When she saw Lily and Wills, she approached them.
“At least for tonight. Please.”
He walked away without answering, and I knew he would do as I asked and let it be. Tomorrow, though, would be an entirely different story.
I made my rounds, saying hello to my parent’s friends, meeting those of Lily and Wills, accepting the concern of those privy to my struggles with as much grace as I could muster.
Apart from Pia, there wasn’t anyone here I had any interest in talking to.
When I approached, her back was to me. I scowled at Lily in warning, and she pretended not to see me. If my sister got Pia involved in something that wasn’t her business in the first place, she’d face my wrath.
“What do you say we get out of here for a bit?” I whispered into Pia’s ear.
When she looked over her shoulder, her lips were close enough that I could kiss them. Instead, I backed away.
“We need to talk, Pia,” I said when my sister left us alone.
She turned toward me. “I’m sorry for the way I left. It just…I can’t…”
I reached up and cupped her cheek with my palm when her eyes filled with tears. “I understand.”
“It isn’t pity, Mylos.”
“Somewhere inside me, I think I know that. It’s the reason I want us to talk.”
“Will we be coming back to the party?”
“That’s up to you.”
“Let me say goodbye to your parents, Lily, and her husband.”
“Let’s do it together.” I took her hand in mine.
While they expressed disappointment, my family members also appeared somewhat relieved. Perhaps they sensed—like deep inside, I did—that spending time alone with Pia would be good for me.
When we exited the ballroom, the first thing I did was loosen my tie, take it off, and slip it into my jacket pocket.
“Where are we going?” Pia asked when I stopped short in the middle of the lobby.
I hadn’t gotten that far. I really didn’t want to go back to my parents’ place, and we were overdressed to go to a restaurant.
“Come, Mylos,” she said, leading me to the bank of lifts.
“Pia, I wasn’t suggesting—”
“I’ll change out of this dress, and we can decide from there.”
When I’d gone to her room earlier, I saw through the open door that she had a suite. That was probably the only reason she was inviting me up. Or maybe when we got there, she’d ask me to wait for her in the hallway.
I reached into my pocket and found the two things that would settle my overwhelming anxiety. The first was her stone. The second was the bottle of pills my sister had been gracious enough to leave me. The bint.
“Mi scusi,” Pia said once we were in the suite.
She opened a door, went into the bedroom, and closed it behind her. I walked over to the bar area, filled a glass with water, and got out my bottle of pills. After shaking three into my hand, I put them in my mouth and swallowed. I closed my eyes, knowing that soon the calm I craved would wash over me. When I turned around, Pia was standing in the doorway, wearing a jumper and a pair of joggers.
Her eyes were scrunched as she studied me.
“Lily told you her concern.”
She nodded. “She’s worried about you.”
“Needlessly.”
She walked closer. “You can lie to her, you can even lie to me, but you cannot lie to yourself, Mylos.”
“I should go.”
She shrugged. “Perhaps you should.”
I hated she wasn’t at least trying to stop me.
“Or you can stay, but if you do, you’ll have to tell me the truth.”
“What’s your plan, Pia? Interrogation? Don’t forget my training.”
She shook her head. “Stronzo.” She sat on the arm of the sofa and folded her arms. “You said you wanted to talk. What about, Mylos? The weather? Our vineyard performance? Or maybe you wanted to ask about my life?”
“How is your life, Pia?”
“It isn’t good.” She shifted, and instead of sitting on the arm, she sat on the sofa’s cushion.
I walked closer so I could see her face. “Why not?”
“Many things,” she murmured, not looking at me.
“Tell me about them.”
“Because you care?”
“Of course I do. I’ll always care about you, Pia.”
She didn’t say anything for several seconds, as though she was weighing whether she believed me.
“I am twenty-six years old. Do you know what my life is like?”
I shook my head when she turned to face me.
“I get up in the morning, and the first thing I do is check on my mother. Why? Because I live with her. Why else? Because she’s getting older and she’s all alone.” She shook her head. “And then I go down to the winery. If Georgio, the head winemaker, is there, he argues with me. It doesn’t matter what about. The subject changes daily, but the underlying theme is that I am a terrible manager.”
“I’m sure he’s wrong.”
She leveled her gaze on me. “Is he?”
“To be honest, I don’t know.”
“He’s approached me about selling.”
“Selling what? Valentini? Is that even a possibility?”
She sighed. “Sì.”
“Is there a reason you need to sell?”
“Not now, but if things don’t get better soon, there might be.”
I sat beside her. “Is there anyone in your family who can help?”
She nodded. “My cousin Matteo has offered.”
“Why don’t you take him up on it?”
“He won’t let me pay him.”
I raised a brow and then wished I hadn’t. Her finances weren’t any of my business.
“He and Lucia…do you remember Lucia?”
“Vaguely. All I really remember is you.”
She smiled and her cheeks turned pink.
“Lucia came to me after my papà was injured and told me I needed to allow people to help me.” She looked into my eyes and then away. “I’m not good at that.”
“So, Matteo?”
“Right. He and Lucia have been seeing each other for a couple of years. Since I was a young girl, I thought one day my father would want him to take over Valentini. He’s the second son of my father’s sister, so he will not inherit his family’s estate. But that was before I knew about Estancia Valentini’s curse.”
“Curse?”
“It’s a long story, but the point is, it would not be advisable for me to go against her wishes and deny my inheritance.”
“But you can sell? No curses to worry about then?”
Her eyes opened wide. “I hadn’t thought of that.” She shuddered. “Where was I?”
“Matteo. What does he think about Georgio’s suggestion that you sell?”
“I haven’t discussed it with him.”
“It might be beneficial to get his input.”
She nodded and rolled her shoulders. “I shouldn’t complain. Compared to what you’ve been through—”
I put my hand on her arm. “Please.”
“I’m sure Valentini will be fine.”
“Talk to me, Pia,” I urged again. “Tell me what you’re going through.”
Her shoulders rose and fell w
ith the deep breath she took and then let out slowly. “The equipment we have is getting older. We’ve been plagued by failures, among other things. We’re not in a position to invest a lot of money to make updates, but then almost as much ends up going into repairs.”
For the first time since she arrived this afternoon, I noticed how tired she looked. There was no spark in her eyes as she spoke about something I knew she loved.
“Are you giving up?”
“Giving up? No. Considering the offer Georgio brought to me? Perhaps.”
How could a winemaker afford to buy her out? “Where is he getting his capital?”
“Georgio wouldn’t buy Valentini. His investors would.”
“Where would you go?”
“I don’t know.”
“This is more than a winery, Pia. This is your birthright.”
“Sì,” she said again. “Perhaps I don’t deserve it.”
I hoped she was exaggerating, but I wouldn’t assume anything at this point. “If you had an influx of cash, would you be able to recover?”
Pia leaned back and closed her eyes. “Maybe. I’m not certain.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Come here,” I said, pulling her into my arms when I saw a tear run down her face.
She rested her cheek against my heart. “It’s one thing after another, Mylos. I’m exhausted from it. What made me think I could do this?”
She turned in my arms so her body was pressed against mine and then looked up at me. I knew what her eyes were asking: she wanted comfort, but I couldn’t give it to her. Not this way.
When she leaned up and brought her mouth to mine, I turned my head. When she rested her hand on my trousers, I moved it away. When she tried to stand, I held her in my arms. I hated rejecting her, but I had no choice. “I’m sorry. It isn’t you, Pia.”
She jerked out of my arms and turned her back to me.
I spun her around and looked into her eyes. “It isn’t you,” I repeated, pulling her body into mine. Having her this close, made me so hard it hurt. It had been true when I held her in my arms as we danced. It was true now. I couldn’t stop my body’s reaction to her.
When she stiffened, I released her. She rushed into the bedroom and closed the door.
I should leave. Accept this for what it was—the end for Pia and me. The odds were against us. They always had been. Our attraction was undeniable, but I wasn’t the same man I had been, nor would I ever be again. It would be best for both of us if I left now and never looked back.
I had my hand on the door, ready to walk out, when I heard her soft sobs. I remembered earlier when she commented on Edge and how hard what had happened to me must have been on him. It occurred to me that I spent so much time thinking about myself, I didn’t consider the pain of others. Wasn’t that what I was doing now? Pia, already in a vulnerable state, had reached out to me, and I rejected her because of my own fear. I’d even said the words myself. It isn’t you, Pia.
Instead of leaving, I walked over and checked the handle; the door to the bedroom wasn’t locked, so I went inside. I could see Pia’s fragile form on the bed. I joined her and tried to pull her toward me, but she resisted. Instead, I shifted closer and wrapped my body around hers.
I moved her hair from her neck and kissed her soft skin. I trailed my lips down and heard her whimper, “Don’t pity me, Mylos.”
“I would never. There’s nothing to pity. You’re the strongest, most courageous woman I know.” Her body shook and I held on tight.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured as my lips scattered kisses on her shoulder.
“Why are you sorry? You did nothing.”
That was exactly right. I’d done nothing. Nothing for anyone but myself. “I want to help you.”
“There isn’t anything you can do,” she said with a heavy sigh.
There was, but there’d be time for us to talk about that later.
“Let me take care of you, Pia. Right here, right now. Let me hold you.”
“Why didn’t you leave?”
“Something you said earlier made me realize how selfish I am.”
“Mylos?”
I kissed the side of her face. “Yes?”
“Is it because…you can’t?”
I kissed the soft curve of her neck. “Not in the way you mean.”
She turned in my arms. “In another way? Is it the pain?”
It was difficult to speak the things that ran through my mind, especially to Pia. “It is the pain. Sometimes.”
I tensed when I felt her unfastening the buttons on my shirt.
“When it isn’t the pain, what is it?”
When her hands touched my bare skin, my already aching erection pressed against my trousers.
She leaned forward and kissed the indentation at the bottom of my sternum. When her lips trailed farther down my body, I drew her back up.
“I want to see.”
“Pia…”
“Let me see, Mylos.”
I stopped her hand when she started to unfasten my trousers. “I can’t.”
Her eyes bored into mine. “Why not? Have you not seen? Do you not look at yourself every day?”
“It’s different and you know it.”
She sat up so quickly, I was startled until I realized she was pulling the jumper over her head. When she unfastened her bra and freed her breasts, I was screaming inside for her to stop, but my brain refused to say the words out loud. Just to see her naked body would be enough. It would have to be enough.
Pia didn’t stop. Next, she slid her joggers down and off her legs. The only thing she wore was a tiny red-lace thong. She stretched out on her side in front of me, took one of my hands, and put it on her bare breast.
“Feel me, Mylos. Touch me.” I couldn’t resist. I had to have a taste of her. I lowered my mouth to her breast and swirled my tongue around her hardened nipple. I could hear her heart pounding, or maybe it was my own. I licked my way down her abdomen and moved the lace of her thong out of my way.
I shifted to kneel between her legs and breathed in the scent of her. Her hips gyrated on the bed. I stilled her with my fingers, then lowered my mouth.
“Wait.”
I looked up at her.
“Mylos, I need you.”
“I’m right here, sweetheart.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I won’t come until you are inside me. You, Mylos.”
I dropped my head on her tummy. “Don’t do this. Please don’t do this.”
She scooted back so she was sitting up.
When I rolled to my back and looked up at the ceiling, Pia straddled me. She finished unfastening the buttons on my shirt and slowly kissed her way from my lips down to my abdomen.
“Let me love you, Mylos. Trust me to love you.”
I knew what her words meant and, more importantly, what they didn’t. She wasn’t talking about our hearts; she was talking about her body and mine.
I slowly nodded my head—once. Just as slowly, Pia unfastened my trousers and eased them from my hips. When I tried to help, she pushed my hands away. “Let me love you, Mylos,” she repeated.
The way her eyes traveled the length of my body was as though every inch of my skin looked the same. I almost cried out with the anxiety of what she was putting me through, but was it warranted? Was she doing anything beyond “loving” me?
As she made her way back up my body, she stopped and licked the length of my shaft, and with that, I almost ejaculated. But she quickly moved, straddling me.
She raised her hips and positioned my cock at the source of her wetness. Slowly, so slowly I was in agony, she lowered herself until I was buried as deep inside her as I could get. Pia placed her hands on my torso and looked at me.
“You cannot deny how right this is, Mylos. There has been no one—there will be no one—whose body fits more perfectly with mine.” When she began to move, I grasped her hips with my hands, setting our rhythm.
Too soon, I fe
lt myself losing control. My eyes met hers, and in them, I saw her heat had risen to mine. “Don’t stop,” she begged.
The pace of our combined movement increased until I knew I couldn’t hold off any longer.
“Now, Pia, now!”
I closed my eyes then, so I could focus solely on how unbelievably perfect she felt.
With the movement of a cat, she stretched her body the length of mine. Her skin touching mine. No one, other than the doctors and Carson, had touched the left side of my body since I was taken to the burn unit in Germany, and yet, the tingling, restless feelings I anticipated, didn’t materialize. I wasn’t anxious to move away from her, or even cover myself.
Within what felt like mere minutes, Pia began to make her way back down my body. My cock sprung to life as she kissed my torso, under my belly button, but then instead of continuing where I expected her to, she shifted. Her tongue and lips began to love the length of my burn. Slowly, languidly, she studied the changes in my body since the last time we were skin to skin.
I rested my head against the pillow, never dreaming I would lie naked with anyone again. Not ever. Yet Pia made me feel like this was the most natural, perfect thing in the world.
Tears ran down my cheeks. “Thank you,” I whispered. Did she know that what I was thanking her for was showing me, proving to me, I was a whole man? A man who, truly, had a life worth living.
We spent the next three days in her hotel room, shutting out the rest of the world. The only human interaction we had was with the hotel staff who delivered sustenance by way of room service.
When Pia and I bathed together that first night, I showed her how to clean the areas that were still healing. Afterward, we applied the lotions and salves that would keep my skin properly moisturized.
After, each time we emerged from a bath or shower, she insisted I allow her to be the one to care for me. There were times I was so emotionally overwhelmed I couldn’t hold back my tears.
In the same way she cared for the outside of my body, she nurtured the inside with the softness of her words, her hands, her lips. I truly had no idea it was possible to feel as cared for as I did. As Pia made me feel.
The idea that our time together would soon come to an end, filled me with sadness.
Grinded (The Invincibles Book 3) Page 9