Impatiently Patient

by Amelia Shea

  *

  Ethan watched her slide into her dad’s car following the taillights down the driveway until they disappeared. Something had changed during the conversation. She seemed like herself when they talked about school and the boyfriend. Maybe she was upset about the break up and just trying to hide it? She didn’t seem sad, just pissed.

  Ethan walked into the house thinking about Emory. She had remained a fixture in all their lives. He hadn’t seen as much of her since he’d moved out. But it wasn’t lost on Ethan at what a beauty Emory had developed into. Her adolescent awkward stage long past her, she was really pretty. She still had a feisty attitude that she never lost. She made for some very uncomfortable cringe worthy moments with her unfiltered mouth but that was Emory. If she thought it, she said it and gave no apologies.

  Ethan grabbed a water from the fridge and headed out to the deck to wait on his dad. As he passed the kitchen table, his eyes were drawn to the small shelf on the wall. It had two framed pictures. He’d seen them before but he stopped anyway. The first was a picture of all the boys, he and his brothers at a football game about eight years ago. The other one was a picture at the lake. He had to have been about twenty. It was a rare time that Stone and T were home on leave. They had all gone down to the lake for the day. His mother snapped the picture of them. They were all sitting around the fire ring. Emory, Roxanne, Stone and him facing the camera, T and Bogs looking over their shoulders. Everyone smiling, it was a great memory. As his eyes scanned the picture again, he stepped in for a closer look. His eyes fixed on Emory. She was the only one not looking at the camera. Instead, she was looking at him.

  He hadn’t realized, at the time, that she had still had a crush on him. Ethan smiled at the picture. From the look she was giving him, she was very much still crushing on him.

  Then it hit him.

  “Oh shit!” He sighed feeling like an asshole. He had just realized the exact moment Emory’s demeanor had changed.

  “Is that how you see me? Like a sister?”

  “Yeah, we all do.”

  All these years later and she still had a crush on him? He stepped back from the picture, his eyes focused on Emory. A crush from her back then was cute and sweet. But now? No, he didn’t want to think of any interest she might have in him. She was sixteen, practically family and off limits to him.

  * * * *

  5 years ago

  “I don’t see her appeal.” Emory sneered, watching Ethan and his girlfriend, Rachel unload their blanket and cooler from the trunk of his car. His new Porsche.

  She and Roxanne had gotten to the lake earlier in the day. She had been waiting for Ethan to show up and crossing her fingers that he’d come alone. He didn’t which left Emory annoyed, frustrated and overly bitchy.

  “Probably the banging body.” Bogs snickered from behind her. Turning her glare in his direction, she folded her arms over her chest. She raised her eyebrows in challenge.

  “Since when is being able to see her entire rib cage considered ‘bangin’? And where the hell is her ass? She’s got no ass!” Emory scoffed. “That girl needs a friggin’ cheeseburger.”

  Bogs laughed, showing off his dimples. “Better watch out, Em, you sound a little jealous.”

  “I do not!” She seethed through gritted teeth. Turning to Roxanne who was sitting on her towel. “Do I?”

  Roxanne chuckled. “Little bit.”

  Emory snorted. “As if I would be jealous of her.” She stared as they started down toward their small group. A few of Bogs’ friends came along for the day. Emory always appreciated the eye candy that Bogs’ friends contributed to their gatherings but currently her eyes were on one guy only. Unfortunately, that guy had just grabbed the hand of the gorgeous brunette next to him. God, couldn’t he date average girls? Did they all have to look like supermodels?

  Great, another day of watching Ethan with some random chick.

  Grabbing a drink from the cooler, she dropped down next to Roxanne on her towel and focused on the calm water of the lake. They had been coming to this lake for years. The spot they set up in was off from the main gates, a little secluded.

  “This is beautiful.”

  Emory rolled her eyes. Rachel’s voice drove a dagger through her heart. Emory didn’t know her well; she’d only met her once before a few months ago. She seemed nice enough, however, she was the enemy. Any girl Ethan dated had been dubbed her nemesis.

  “Hey, E!” Bogs greeted.

  Emory didn’t bother turning around. Knowing they were there was enough to put her in a bad mood. Seeing them together would only fuel her fire. Emory took a sip of her drink, watching the guys walk down by the water. Getting up, she dusted off her legs and started down to catch up with them.

  “Hi, Emory.”

  That voice. Years later and the mere sound of his voice made her heart beat a little faster. Her love for Ethan Barret was unnatural. No one should feel this way about anyone. Years and years of loving him, never once feeling anything less than undying devotion to a guy who rarely spoke to her.

  It hadn’t always been like that. Up until a year ago, Ethan had always talked with her, joked with her and on the best days, touched her. Nothing sexual, to her dismay, but he would hug her when he hadn’t seen her in a while, or put his arm over her shoulder when he teased her. Then it stopped. Now, he barely so much as gave her a hello.

  She racked her brain trying to figure out what she’d done, if she had said something to make him mad. Emory was always pissing someone off with her big mouth but she couldn’t recall doing that to Ethan. She must have done something though because interaction with Ethan became scarce which made her quest to get him to notice her incredibly difficult. She still tried though. Hey, this girl is no quitter especially when Ethan was the end prize!

  Turning around and mustering up a smile, she hoped didn’t look pained, she waved. “Hey, Ethan.” Damn those eyes! The last thing she wanted to see before she went to sleep and the first thing when she woke up. Ethan’s eyes.

  Her smile faltered when a hand spread across his chest. Rachel was staring back at her smiling. Not genuine though. Emory had mastered the fake smile, she had to when presented with so many of Ethan’s girlfriends through the years. She could feel the anger building and decided it was a good time to get the fuck away Ethan and this girl. “I’m going for a swim.” Turning toward the water, she lifted the hem of her cover, taking it off and flinging it onto the towel.

  *

  The water did nothing to cool him down. He’d gotten out a few minutes ago, heading back to his cooler and grabbing a beer. His eyes watched her through his tinted sunglasses. He angled his head to keep from being obvious. Her hair was soaked, slicked down against her back. He had been trying his best to avoid the tiny green bikini for the past hour with no luck. He was drawn to her.

  “Fuck,” he muttered, turning his head away from her.

  Taking a long swig from the bottle, the laughter coming from the group caught his attention and again he found himself in a hypnotic trance. Her body moved up the path, water dripping off of her. Ethan clenched his jaw. Look away. But he couldn’t, and he continued to stare behind his dark glasses.

  Her body moved with confidence, her laughter echoing through the wooded trees. Ethan adjusted his stance in hopes of relieving the pressure from his lower half. A grown man getting hard at the sight of this woman was absurd. His mind knew better but his dick could care less.

  His body locked when he felt a soft hand on his back wrap around his stomach.

  “They look like they’re having fun,” Rachel whispered. She pressed her lips to his back. Immediately he felt the onset of guilt. He was with his girlfriend and lusting after another woman. He turned toward her, smiling down as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

  He liked Rachel. She was beautiful and smart. However, he knew it wouldn’t last. They’d only been dating a few months but already she was talking about their future. E
than had no plans to marry Rachel and he wasn’t about to lead her on. She was his age and looking to settle down. Ethan was not.

  Bogs came running up to where they stood, snatching a towel from the ground to dry off.

  “Hey, jerkoff, that’s my towel, get your own.” The sound of Emory’s voice had Ethan tense and he kept his eyes on Bogs, not straying to her. Bogs laughed, continuing to use her towel before flinging it past Ethan’s face.

  “Damn, Em, can’t you share?” Bogs made a face and approached Ethan and Rachel shaking his head. “She’s been this way since she was six, right, E?” His eyes crinkled while he smirked and looked at Rachel. “Never was good at sharing.”

  Rachel giggled, her body shaking under his arm.

  “Shut up, Bogs. I share, just not with you ’cause you’re an asshole.” His eyes followed her voice. She was rubbing the towel over her chest, shifting her top lower onto her breasts. His eyes averted back to Bogs who was smirking at him. Asshole!

  “That’s a pretty suit, Emory. Not too many people can pull off that color.” He could hear the odd tone in Rachel’s voice. It sounded almost mocking.

  Emory barked out a laugh, her lips twisting. “Lucky for me, green is my color.”

  Ethan watched as she tossed the towel onto the ground and sauntered back down to the group. Rachel’s arm tightened around his waist and he blinked, tearing his gaze away from Emory’s swaying hips and her round ass.

  He had made a point of avoiding Emory for the past few months. His growing desire for her was making it hard to be around her. They had always had a pretty good relationship, a friendship. That started to shift about a year ago. The Emory that he knew and loved from the time she was six had changed in all those years and he, along with every other man with a pulse, had noticed.

  He spent less and less time around her, trying to create space from these new feelings for her. Being close to someone he knew he couldn’t have was torture. And he could not have Emory. Aside from the obvious, her being so close to his family, and Roxanne’s best friend, she was Emory.

  “I’m going to go talk to Roxanne,” Rachel said, smiling up at him. He nodded and watched her walk off. Roxanne was close to the water, talking with Emory. As Rachel got closer to them, he saw Emory look over at her, say something and walk away, laughing.

  He trailed her down to the water, watching her legs disappear into the water, then make a splash when she dove in. Her head broke the surface, the sun gleaming on her red hair. She was gorgeous. He wasn’t sure when Emory went from being awkward to pretty to smokin’ hot but it had happened and he was not immune to her.

  He jerked forward when a hand slammed down on his back. He glared over at Bogs who cocked his brows and lifted his chin toward the lake. “You know when the sun hits your sunglasses at the right spot, you can see your eyes. You know exactly where and who their focused on.” He chuckled. “Just sayin’.”

  * * * *

  18 months ago

  “Where’s Ethan?”

  Emory looked around. He was there a second ago. Until she came along. She did her best to not scratch out Nina’s eyeballs when she saw her whispering in his ear. God, she hated her. Cousin Nina had been a thorn in her side since the day she met her. She wasn’t actually their cousin, since all the Garrison children were adopted.

  “Probably on a business call, you know Ethan, never takes a break even on the holidays. Do me a favor, Em, he’s probably in Dad’s office, will you go get him?” Roxanne asked, pulling the last bowl from the oven.

  “On it, girl!”

  Emory made her way down the hall, past the bathroom and stopped at the office door. Turning the handle, she opened the door and poked her head in.

  Her entire body locked up and the only feeling she had was her heart dropping. Her breathing turned to an anxious pant as she took in the scene playing out in front of her.

  Ethan was standing with his back to the wall, hands braced on the bookshelves. His eyes were closed, his head back against the wall. She could see the tension in the cords of his neck. In front of him was Nina on her knees, her head bobbing at his groin. His pants bunched at his ankles.

  Oh God, this is not happening. Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked quickly. Emory squeezed her eyes shut, an irrational thought invaded her mind, like maybe she wasn’t seeing this. She opened her eyes to the exact picture she had just seen. She could feel the wave of nausea through her body.

  She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She must have made a noise because Ethan’s eyes opened and his head jerked in her direction. Shock covered his face and something else she couldn’t pinpoint. His hand went to Nina’s head and pushed her back from his crotch.

  Seeing him like that, with her? She knew something was going on between Ethan and Nina but seeing it and knowing it was real, Emory’s sadness turned into to fury. She clenched her hands and seethed. “Roxanne wanted me to let you know dinner’s ready.” Her glared turned on Nina, who looked almost proud of herself. “Dick isn’t on the menu.”

  Emory grabbed the doorknob and pulled it shut, staring at the door in front of her. Taking a few breaths, she ignored the whispers from the other side and turned down the hall. Her legs stomped harder than she intended but her rage was uncontrollable.

  “Emory?”

  She continued down the hall, ignoring Ethan’s voice and raising her middle finger in the air.

  “Would you fucking stop?”

  Emory halted and whipped her body around, “What?” Her whisper was nasty and she could hear the venom in her own voice.

  “What the hell is your problem?”

  He sounded angry which only fueled Emory’s rage. He was angry? Fuck him! She had loved this asshole her entire life and just watched her dreams of one day having him shatter in a million fucking pieces. Again! And he wanted to know what her problem was?

  “What’s my problem? Are you serious, E? I just walked in on you, pants around your ankles, getting blown by your cousin, and you are asking me what my problem is?” Emory cried incredulously.

  “Would you lower your voice, for Christ’s sake?” He hissed and looked past her shoulder down the hall.

  They stood in silence, his eyes focusing back on her and her glare.

  Leaning in closer he muttered, “She’s not my cousin.”

  “Oh my God! That’s all you have to say? Really?” Emory’s mouth fell open and her scowl deepened into her brow. She shook her head in disgust and fury, gripping her hips with her hands, she stepped a foot closer into his space.

  “Well, she’s not! Why are you so mad, anyway? It’s none of your business,” he countered with an edge in his tone. His anger only intensified hers.

  “Fine, Ethan, you’re right. It’s none of my business who sucks your dick,” she spewed crudely.

  Emory turned and started back to the dining room. She had to get out of here. Out of this house and as far away from Ethan as possible before she completely lost it.

  “Wait!” Ethan reached out for her arm but she yanked it away.

  “Get your fucking hands off me!”

  Ethan flinched and his face read confusion.

  “Don’t you ever touch me, Ethan! I am done, so fucking done with you.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” His eyes widened, confusion shadowing his face.

  He didn’t get it. He’d never get it. It had just been confirmed, he’d never see her, and with that her heart physically ached. She didn’t know a heart could actually hurt but hers was splitting while she stood in the hallway.

  She let out a bitter laugh. “I can’t do this anymore, I just can’t. All I ever wanted was you to notice me. All those years I waited for you to see me. Through all the girls, I waited and thought ‘he’ll see me,’ but you didn’t and you never will.” Her voice cracked with emotion, her tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn’t even bother wiping them away. Her head lowered, her gaze at her feet.


  She sniffled. “I was so stupid. I was too young and stupid to see it until now. Ethan, I get it. I’m done.”

  “Emory, I didn’t know. You didn’t…you never said…I didn’t know.” He rushed the words out with complete sincerity. Of course he did. That was one of the reasons she had loved him. He never wanted to hurt anyone.

  She looked up at him, knowing her makeup would be smudged, her nose beet red but still, a small glimmer of hope had her asking, “Would it have mattered? You know now, Ethan, does it change anything between us?” She sobbed uncontrollably.

  “Em, please stop crying. You’re killing me here.”

  Her voice was so low, so vulnerable. “Does it change anything, Ethan?”

  There was silence. Not a word was spoken. Seconds passed in silence.

  Emory snorted and her tone dripped with disdain. “Yeah, that’s what I thought! Forget it, Ethan, forget we ever had this conversation.”

  It made no difference, his silence confirmed it. She backed away from him slowly, turning around. She was leaving, not just him but this house. There was no way she could sit at a table with him and her and everyone else, and get through it without breaking down. It would be unbearable. She had loved him and wanted him for so long and now this was how it was ending. And this time it would end. She had spent the last years since the night he told her he thought of her as a sister, trying to make him see her as anything but a sister. She refused to give up.

  Until now. She was done.

  She stopped right before she got to the kitchen doorway.

  It was over—all the hope of being with him—it was done. If this was it, then she had nothing to lose. She turned back around and walked toward Ethan, who was still standing in front of the bathroom door, looking upset and slightly confused.

  She was going to show him exactly what he just threw away. She stalked to him with no intention of stopping until she got what she wanted.

  Ethan whispered softly, “Em, I’m so…” He stopped mid-sentence.