The Stars at Night

by Gerri Hill

  “I’m talking about everything. When we saw the birds, I didn’t even know what they were. I guessed some sort of quail, but that was only a wild guess. I mean, there’s so much to explore, yet I never did. My exploring was going up and down Sixth Street on Saturday nights or trying different restaurants or braving the climbing wall at the gym for something different.” She shook her head. “We get into ruts, don’t we?”

  “We tend to stay in our comfort zone, yes.”

  “Mark said it was the company I kept. I wasn’t friends with anyone who enjoyed the outdoors. That’s an excuse, I think.”

  “As much as Susan and Dale love it up here, did you not go to parks and stuff when you were a kid?”

  “City parks. We never went camping.”

  “What made them buy this place and come out here?”

  “They’d always talked about wanting to own, like, some resort cabins on a river or some vacation place. I don’t think this setting crossed their minds at the time. When they were looking to buy, they came out here and, like you, fell in love with the place. I remember my mom saying how quiet it was, how peaceful. How slow everything was.” She smiled and shook her head. “And I thought how perfectly boring it sounded.” She leaned on the hiking stick. “Because we never did things like this, went places like this. Once my grandparents moved, vacations were always spent in Florida, at the beach.” She smiled at those childhood memories. “No complaints from me, of course.”

  Kyler nodded. “I can see if you were never exposed to this,” she said, spreading her arms out, “that you wouldn’t have any inclination to get out in nature and explore. I was the same way. I told you, a buddy took me camping for the first time when I was in college. I didn’t have a clue as to what to expect.”

  “You fell in love with it.”

  “Yes. It was definitely a turning point in my life.” She spread her hands out again. “Here I am now. I feel like I’m the luckiest person alive sometimes. I get to work out here. This is my job.” She smiled. “I get paid to hike these trails. How many people can simultaneously work and enjoy their hobby at the very same time?”

  “Birdwatching?”

  “Yeah.”

  Kyler took a deep breath and Lexie found herself doing the same, breathing in the fragrance of the woods. Then Kyler moved on. She watched her for a moment, her jeans faded and worn, her hiking boots well used.

  “Do you wear a uniform?” she asked unexpectedly.

  Kyler glanced back at her. “Yeah, I do. Why?”

  “Was it like the one Tammy wore?”

  “Khaki pants, olive green top—yeah. Don’t tell anyone, but in the heat of summer, when I’m out doing maintenance on the trails, I take my top off and just wear a tank.”

  “Do you get to wear shorts during the summer?”

  “It depends on what I’m assigned to. Working the trails, no. Too thorny and brushy. But on the weeks when it’s campground maintenance, I do.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Cleaning up sites after people leave. Get them ready for the next set of campers. Cleaning out the fire pits, picking up any trash, sweeping off the slab around the picnic table, things like that.”

  “And what else to you do? Trail maintenance? What else?”

  “Restroom duty. I hate that. Invariably, a toilet will clog or something when it’s my week for that. Because we’re a small staff, we take turns with a lot of the stuff. In larger parks—larger, meaning more staff—they have specific duties. I like this better. It’s never boring.”

  “And the bird blinds? The feeders?”

  “I mostly do that. I’m trying to talk Jim into letting me build another blind. He says we spend too much on birdseed as it is.”

  “Jim is your boss?”

  “He’s the superintendent here, yes. Good guy.”

  “And does he have a wife?” she teased.

  Kyler laughed. “He does. She’s the grandmotherly type.”

  “Bet that was a relief.”

  “Oh, I won’t make that mistake again.”

  They were quiet as they walked on, and the trail turned sharply and began to climb. Her breathing was a little labored, which surprised her. She could do six miles on the treadmill without a problem. She could make it through spin class without gasping for air. But now? Her thighs were burning, much like her lungs. It occurred to her then that her cardio work in the gym wasn’t applicable to real life. She wondered if she ran the park road for six miles, would it be as effortless as the treadmill had become?

  Their conversation was sparse as they climbed higher—an occasional comment from Kyler as she pointed out a particular bush or tree, or when they startled a rabbit from its daytime hiding place. She did little more than give her an “uh-huh,” but Kyler didn’t seem to notice that she was laboring.

  “Here’s the outcropping. Be careful on this part. The rocks are loose.”

  The rocks were numerous here, the landscape more open, fewer trees than down below. To their right was a drop-off into a canyon. A small railing—posts with one board across—blocked the trail from a dive into the canyon.

  “That’s not Limpia Creek, is it?”

  “No. That’s a dry creek. It’s called Quail Gulch.”

  She was thankful for the hiking stick as they picked their way across the boulder field. Thirty or forty steps later, they were back on solid ground. She paused to rest, looking back where they had come. From this angle, the view into the canyon was better with the sun hitting the opposite side. She turned to Kyler, finding her watching. Beyond her, the trail curved to the left, climbing again. She nodded, indicating she was ready to push on.

  “We’re getting close,” Kyler said after a while.

  “Good,” she managed.

  Kyler smiled at her. “Different from the gym, huh?”

  “How did you know I was thinking that?”

  “A guess. You’ve been awfully quiet. Not enjoying the hike?”

  “I’m loving the hike.” She finally stopped. “I’m too winded to carry on a conversation. How sad is that? I was at the gym nearly every day working on my cardio.”

  “It’s the altitude and we’ve been steadily climbing.”

  “You’re not winded.”

  Kyler shrugged. “A little.”

  “Liar.”

  She laughed. “I hike a lot. I’m used to the altitude.”

  Lexie was leaning on Kyler’s hiking stick, glad to have it. “You’ll really make me one of these?”

  “Sure. We’ve got all the stuff in the maintenance shed. I can do it this week.” Kyler pointed behind them. “Look there. You can see the RVs. That’s how far we’ve come.”

  She turned, her eyes widening. The RVs were mere white specks, it seemed. “No wonder my thighs hurt. That looks straight uphill.”

  “Mostly is. And on the way back down, your hamstrings and knees will be screaming.” She moved again. “Come on. We’re almost there. We’ll sit and have a snack before heading back. Got football on the agenda, remember?”

  “I do. And I didn’t have a chance to make anything. What’s on the menu today?”

  “I think Mark is doing chicken wings and nachos again. Sorry.”

  “Oh, I’ll get him to do some nachos without the beef for me. And wings? I guess I’ll be forced to eat a few.” She smiled. “I’m thinking a beer is gonna go down good.”

  “Or three.”

  “What kind of snacks did you bring?” She was suddenly getting hungry as she eyed Kyler’s backpack.

  “Peanut butter and crackers. A couple of bananas and an apple that we can fight over.”

  “Oh. Healthy stuff.”

  Kyler laughed. “What were you hoping for? Those cheesy breakfast tacos from the bar?”

  “Yeah. That. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to find my usual desire for tofu and healthy food.”

  “Maybe because the things you’re used to eating are not readily available.”

  “May
be. Or maybe I really missed chicken and bar food like wings and nachos.”

  Only a few moments later, they crested the peak, but nothing looked familiar to her. She paused, looking overhead, trying to get her bearings.

  “We’re on the northwest side,” Kyler supplied. “We can go to the rocks where we watched the sunset if you’d like to sit for a bit.”

  “Yes, please.”

  Once they got a little higher, she could see the road and the circle parking area at the top. She saw the piñon pine tree where Kyler had parked, and they headed in that direction. Before long, the large rocks of the outcropping came into view and she nearly collapsed on them.

  “God…that was harder than I thought.” She groaned. “And we have to go back down.”

  Kyler sat beside her and nudged her arm. “It’s all downhill. Piece of cake.”

  “The next time I ask for a hike, let’s do something a little tamer.”

  Kyler handed her a banana. “There’s a short hike down where the campgrounds end. It follows a dry creek bed. One mile in, one mile out. Easy.”

  “And this one?” she asked as she peeled her banana.

  “Almost six miles total.”

  She took a bite of the banana, realizing as she did how hungry she was. “This was fun. A little more than I bargained for, but fun.” She took the crackers from Kyler. “Thank you.”

  They ate in silence, passing a water bottle between them occasionally. She noticed that Kyler’s gaze was on the landscape around them, her eyes moving as things caught her attention. She had a satisfied look on her face, and Lexie finally understood how utterly at peace Kyler was in her surroundings, in her life, in her own skin. She was what she was, who she was, and she didn’t apologize for it. She smiled then. Well, she sometimes apologized for being a birdwatcher, but Lexie imagined that would fade with time too.

  She leaned closer, touching her shoulder. “Thank you for being my friend.”

  Kyler turned to her and smiled. “Yeah. It’s been really tough. You’re so difficult to get along with.”

  She turned to face her, smiling at her teasing words. “I’ve said this before, but I really like you. It’s so refreshing to be around you. There’s no drama, no games, no pretenses. You are who you are, and I can be who I am without having to worry about perceptions.”

  “And have you had to do that?”

  “I think so, yes. To some extent, anyway. Especially when you have different groups of friends. I would find myself acting differently depending on who I was around. I don’t think anyone would recognize me now.”

  “Have you changed that much?”

  “Maybe not changed. Maybe I’m simply allowing me to be me.”

  “No one to impress up here, huh?”

  She laughed. “That’s the beauty of you, Kyler. You don’t expect me to be anything other than what you see. When I was with Trish and her friends, it was…make sure you had the right clothes on, makeup done perfectly, and so on. My work friends, well, I was the boss so there was that. I always had to be a little bit reserved around them.”

  “And the gym?”

  “Oh, the gym was mostly a competition. Friendly competition, for the most part, but still. I didn’t often see them outside of the gym unless it was to go get a smoothie or something after a workout. I would occasionally grab dinner with someone, but mostly our interaction was at the gym.”

  She turned back, letting her gaze travel over the rocks and trees, the canyons below them. “I know now that I wasn’t happy with all of that. I told myself I was in a rut because of my job and Cathy, but that wasn’t really it. There wasn’t any part of my life that I was truly happy with.” She sighed. “How sad to realize I wasted so much time and didn’t even know I was wasting it.”

  She turned to Kyler and offered a smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get so reflective with you. It’s something about being out here, being with you, that makes me want to open up, to bare my soul.”

  Their eyes held and she knew Kyler was thinking about last night and their kiss. She’d almost forgotten about it. Things had been so natural between them—it hadn’t been at the forefront of her thoughts. Now, though, as she looked into Kyler’s eyes, she couldn’t help but remember the kiss and how it had felt.

  Instead of fighting over the apple, they shared it. Lexie thought it had to be the very first time she shared an apple with someone. They finished off the peanut butter and crackers, then Kyler stood and shouldered her backpack.

  “Ready to head down?”

  Lexie met her eyes again, then nodded. “Ready.”

  Chapter Thirty-two

  “How was your hike?”

  “It was fun.” Lexie stole a pickle from her mother’s cutting board. “Making potato salad again?”

  “Oh, it’s like a beautiful fall day out, isn’t it? Your father wants to grill steaks later, but I wasn’t in the mood for baked potatoes again. We had them last night.”

  She leaned a hip against the counter. “Just so you know, I love it here.”

  Her mother smiled at her. “After you’d convinced yourself that you wouldn’t? Are you finding a new side of yourself?”

  “I am.” She took another pickle. “I told Kyler that very thing. I’m not sure my friends would recognize me. Truth is, Mom, I’m loving everything about being up here. Meeting Kyler, getting to know her, that’s part of it, but also being with you and Dad, with Mark—I didn’t know how much I missed our family time.” She waved a hand in air. “And that’s not only it either. I find I actually love the place. The quiet. The simplicity of everything. I feel more alive than I have in years. And yes, I’m finding a new side of myself that I didn’t know was hiding.”

  “Yet you still have reservations?”

  “I haven’t even been here three weeks yet. Maybe it’s only the newness of it all. Maybe it’s the upcoming holidays. Christmas will be here in less than two weeks.”

  “Twelve days, to be exact,” her mother interjected.

  “Then the New Year. I don’t suppose I’ll really get a feel for the place until after that. And you and Mark have already told me that January is a dead month. Maybe I’ll go stir crazy then.”

  “At least you’ve made a friend. Kyler is one of the best people you’ll ever meet.”

  “I’m seeing that, yes.” She pushed away from the counter. “Anyway, the hike was fun, but it was nearly all uphill. I think I was a bit ambitious when I suggested it. Coming down was a breeze, though.”

  “And you have football today?”

  “Yes.” She looked at her watch. It was nearly eleven thirty. “I guess I should go and see if Mark needs help with anything.” She paused. “Mom, do you think I could live here long term and be happy?”

  “Only you can answer that, honey.”

  “What if I make the wrong decision?”

  “Lexie, go have fun. Enjoy your day. Don’t worry so much.”

  “You know me. I’m a worrier.”

  “Yes, you always analyzed everything to death, even when you were young.” She waved the knife in the air. “Free yourself, Lexie.”

  “Free myself?”

  “Yes. Free yourself. Get out of this prison that you’ve locked yourself in. Live free. Life is so much more rewarding when you don’t worry about every little thing.”

  Lexie tilted her head a bit, studying her mother. Was she right? Had she locked herself up tightly, worrying over every detail in her life, so much so that she hadn’t even realized how limited—how narrow—her life had become? How could that be? She’d kept so busy. She was always doing something, wasn’t she? That wasn’t being limited. She had tons of friends. Her life didn’t feel restricted.

  But was it? Everything was measured, everything was routine. Her friends, her gym sessions, her lunch dates with Trish, Saturday nights on Sixth Street, brunch every Sunday. The same safe routine. Repetitive and dull.

  When she’d told Kyler that she hadn’t been happy in her life, she hadn’t really
known the reason. Could this be it? Could this be why she felt like she was in a rut? There was no spark, no spontaneity in her life. Is that why being with Kyler felt like a breath of fresh air? Kyler was taking her out of her comfort zone and making her do things. Kyler was making her live life, not just meander through it in her usual, habitual way.

  She smiled at her mother and nodded. “You could be right. Thanks, Mom.”

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Kyler plopped down in one of the deck chairs after helping Mark bring the TV outside. “Can’t believe it’s going to be in the seventies today. It’s so gorgeous. And so not Christmas weather.”

  “I overheard the Mertz brothers talking about how dry everything is out at their place. You still allowing campfires in the park?”

  She nodded. “Fire danger is high, yeah, but Jim hasn’t prohibited campfires. This time of year, when the nights are cold, a campfire is like a rite of passage when you’re out camping.” She grinned. “We had one last night.”

  “Oh, that’s right. Lexie made you dinner.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “How’d that turn out?”

  She met his gaze, then looked away. “We…we kissed.” Both his eyebrows popped up.

  “Oh? And how did that work out for you?”

  “She freaked out.” She met his gaze again. “She started it. Well, maybe I did. I don’t really know. But she wants to pretend it didn’t happen and not talk about it.”

  “That’s crazy.”

  She shrugged. “It’s probably best. Having a fling with your sister could turn out to be disastrous. We’re friends. I should just leave it like that. Right?”

  He shrugged too. “I don’t know, Ky. I think that was one of Lexie’s main concerns—that she’d not have any friends.” He pulled a chair closer and sat down. “You like her? I’m not teasing now. You like her?”

  She nodded. “I do. When I said she reminded me of Britney—the more I’m around her, I realize that’s not true.”

  “But she’s still not your type?”

  “Oh, hell, Mark. I don’t even know what my type is. I only know Britney wasn’t it and Lexie—”