The Stars at Night

by Gerri Hill

  But what if Lexie left? What if she went back to Austin? That was a real possibility, she knew. In fact, if she were placing bets—

  She sighed again, this time with a bit of foreboding, as if—somewhere in the back of her mind—she knew what the outcome would be. Well, it wasn’t like they were involved. They were having a little fling, that’s all. A little fun, Lexie called it.

  She stared absently at a tree, not really seeing it. She was starting to get involved, wasn’t she? She was starting to feel things.

  She took a deep breath, puffing out her cheeks as she blew it out. Yes, this little fling might be more than she bargained for.

  Chapter Forty-three

  “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone this excited about fish.”

  Kyler rubbed her hands together. “I’ve been dreaming of this day.”

  He shook his head. “I told you to lower your expectations. I don’t even know what kind of seasonings they’re going to use.”

  “Don’t care.”

  “And the rice pilaf and vegetable medley that Lexie had in mind is only going to be a pile of white rice with some previously frozen broccoli on top.”

  “Don’t care. I’m only here for the fish.”

  Lexie nudged her arm. “You’re such an easy date,” she teased.

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “Okay, I’m going to agree with Mark, though. You might want to curb your excitement. I would hate for you to be disappointed.”

  Mark leaned his hip against the bar, holding the towel that seemed to be always in his hand. “You tell Mom yet?”

  Lexie feigned ignorance. “Tell her what?”

  He rolled his eyes. “About you two.”

  It was Kyler who spoke, not her. “Does it need an announcement? We’re friends.”

  “With benefits,” he added with a grin.

  Kyler smiled too. “Damn good benefits, but still. We’re friends. That should be enough.”

  “I agree,” Lexie said. “It’s not like we’re going steady or anything. We’re just—”

  “Hanging out,” Kyler finished.

  “This is Mom.”

  She sighed. “I’m not ready to tell her. If I tell her that Kyler and I—”

  “Have been having sex,” he finished for her.

  She rolled her eyes at him. “Then she’ll think it’s guaranteed that I’m staying here and that’s not the case. Kyler and I have talked about this. Whether I stay or go, it has to be about me, not her. And not Mom and Dad and their plans. It’s got to be about me.”

  Mark looked at Kyler with raised eyebrows. Kyler nodded.

  “We’re hanging out and having a little fun. Don’t go planning a wedding.”

  Lexie laughed. “This is exactly why I don’t want to tell Mom! She’ll go crazy with the news.”

  And she would, she knew. Her mother adored Kyler, as did Mark. If things didn’t work out here, if she ended up going back to Austin, she didn’t want to be the cause of their disappointment. She and Kyler had talked about it at length the other night while lying in bed. They were in agreement—they both knew what the stakes were. Neither of them was going to get so involved that it would be devastating if she left. As Kyler said, they were simply having a little fun while she was here. If she ended up staying, then that fun would continue. If she left, well…she didn’t really want to think about that right now.

  No. Because it was all she could do to keep things simple between them. Simple and fun and nothing too emotional. She looked into the mirror, finding Kyler looking back at her. She returned her smile while holding her gaze. Oh, yes, she needed to keep things simple. Because it would be so easy to fall in love with her. And that was something she could not—would not—do.

  “Then you two better behave.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He motioned behind them. Again, looking in the mirror, she saw her mother coming into the bar. She spun around on the barstool.

  “I’ve been here a month. This is the first time I’ve seen you in here.”

  “I heard a rumor fish was on the menu.” She sat down beside her. “Do you mind if I join you?”

  “Of course not.”

  “You want a beer, Mom?”

  Her mother shook her head at Mark. “You know I’m not crazy about beer. A plain Coke will do.” She leaned around her to look at Kyler. “I have a favor to ask. Dale and I are going to El Paso tomorrow.”

  “You are?” Lexie asked.

  “I told you, didn’t I?” She looked back at Kyler. “We’ll be gone two days, maybe three. Could you look after the bird garden for me?”

  “Of course,” Kyler said. “No problem.”

  “Thanks, dear. I didn’t want to throw all that on Lexie.”

  “Going RV shopping?” Kyler asked.

  Mark slid a glass with ice and Coke over to her. “Dad said he found a couple online that he wanted to look at.”

  “Yes. We’re going to a dealership to look at new ones, but he found three used ones that were reasonably priced.”

  “Are you going to pull something, like a fifth-wheel, or are you looking at a motorhome?” Kyler asked.

  “We haven’t decided. We go back and forth. We like features of each of them. I think when we see the one we want, we’ll know.” Her mother looked at Lexie and patted her arm. “This has nothing to do with whether you stay or not. Your father has wanted to get some type of RV for years now.”

  She nodded and smiled but said nothing. What could she say? That she was feeling pressured? Was she? Kyler nudged her arm and gave her a subtle wink, easing some of the anxiety she felt. No, she shouldn’t feel pressured. She knew that her parents had been talking about buying an RV for several years. They wouldn’t be able to actually go anywhere significant unless she was here, however. While Irene could manage the office for a few days, she doubted she’d have a clue how to manage the online reservation system. She sighed. So yes, she was feeling pressured.

  The conversation seemed to go on without her, but she was aware of Kyler’s presence—the brush of her knee, the touch of a hand on her arm as she talked to Mark and her mother. If her mother noticed her silence, she didn’t show it. Mark was more attuned, however, and gave her a questioning look. She answered by tapping her empty beer mug.

  Despite Mark’s warning that they shouldn’t get too excited about their first grilled fish, Joseph did an excellent job with the seasonings. It had a bit of a Cajun flavor to it with just enough bite to make you notice, but the spice wasn’t overwhelming. The blob of white rice topped with overcooked broccoli, however, left something to be desired.

  “Stir-fry the rice with the broccoli and add some soy sauce or tamari or something,” she suggested. “Even a frozen bag of mixed vegetables would be better.”

  “The fish is excellent,” Kyler said. “I could eat this every day. But yeah, the rice needs something.”

  Her mother had taken hers with her, going to the house to eat. She had passed on the rice, saying she’d made a pasta salad to have with theirs.

  “So how about you come back to the kitchen tomorrow and give Joseph some pointers on the rice,” he said to her.

  Lexie raised her eyebrows. “Me?”

  “Yeah, you.”

  “Okay. He won’t get offended, right?”

  Mark smiled. “Are you kidding? After all this praise for the fish?”

  “Okay. Deal.”

  “I’m thinking he could do Spanish rice and add a little more cayenne to the fish, maybe some chili powder or cumin,” Kyler offered.

  Lexie smiled at her. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

  Kyler shook her head. “No, not really. But there was this Mexican restaurant down at the coast that used to serve grilled fish on top of Spanish rice. Grilled corn on the cob and some squash with it. It was great.”

  “That’s a good idea.” When Mark left to get an order, she leaned closer. “Can we go to your place?”

  “Sure. You ok
ay?”

  Lexie shrugged. “I feel like talking.”

  Kyler nodded. “Okay.”

  It was as easy as that. Yes, Kyler was pretty easy about everything. Kyler didn’t get too worked up about things, whereas she tended to fret and worry over them endlessly—and sometimes needlessly.

  Chapter Forty-four

  “This is nice.”

  Lexie smiled. “I love lying naked with you. It’s freeing.”

  “Freeing?”

  “Yes. There’s nothing to hide. A symbolism, I guess. I can’t hide my body from you, therefore, I can’t hide anything. Freeing. I can talk to you about anything. You don’t judge me. More importantly, you don’t offer your opinion.”

  “You should tell her how you feel.”

  “My mother? No. She’s not putting pressure on me intentionally. I don’t even think it’s unintentional, either. They’re going about their life, regardless of what I decide to do.” She wrapped her arm a little tighter around Kyler’s waist. “I wish I could be like that. I’m not sure why I’m not.”

  “You were what? Twenty-three when they left? Maybe you felt like you needed to be extra cautious because you were in Austin without your family.”

  Lexie smiled. “I’d like to say that’s the case, but my mother claims I’ve always been a bit of a worrier.” She rolled onto her back, finding Kyler’s hand under the covers. “I need to tell you something.” She turned her head, meeting Kyler’s gaze. “I’m leaving, Kyler.”

  There was a moment’s hesitation as Kyler absorbed the news. “I see.”

  She closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. “No. I mean, if I have a decision to make, I need to make it there, not here.” She held her eyes, trying to read them. “Because if I stay here, and we continue doing what we’re doing for the next two weeks, then I won’t be making a rational decision. I’ll be making an emotional one. Do you understand?”

  Kyler nodded. “I understand. You don’t want this to be about me. About us.”

  “Yes. So can we enjoy this time, these few days before Christmas? I’m going to leave right after. I was going to stay until mid-January, but I think I should go now. I’ve got my apartment to pack. But really, I need to be away from here—you—so I can think.”

  Kyler nodded. “I understand. Have you told your mother?”

  “No. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for the last few days. I think it’s the best thing.”

  “Okay.”

  Lexie rolled toward her again. She could tell by the look in Kyler’s eyes that she was scared. There was something else there. Something that frightened her a little. Was Kyler falling in love? For that matter, was she falling in love?

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  Kyler rolled onto her shoulder, facing her. “Don’t, Lexie. I agree with your decision. You’re right. If we continue this…this affair, then you’re right. We’ll get in too deep. Both of us. It’s best you leave now, before that happens.”

  “I want to be sure, that’s all. I don’t want to say I’ll stay, then a year from now be miserable.”

  “You don’t have to explain to me.”

  She let out a relieved breath. “I knew you would react this way. I knew you would accept it.” She leaned closer and softly kissed her lips. She got a rush, like she usually did when they kissed. How wonderful was it to feel this way? She closed her eyes as they kissed again. No. She didn’t want to feel this way. That’s why she needed to leave. If she was going to make a level-headed decision, she needed to leave. If she stayed any longer, the decision would be out of her hands.

  Chapter Forty-five

  “I understand, honey.”

  “Do you, Mom?”

  “Yes. I had hoped, well, since you and Kyler—”

  Her eyes widened. “So you know?”

  “Of course I know. Why else would you be sneaking home at five thirty or six in the mornings?”

  She’d never been comfortable discussing her sex life with her mother. She didn’t want to start now. “Okay. But Kyler has nothing to do with the reason I’m leaving.” Was that a lie?

  She sat down at the desk. “What I mean is, I want to make this decision without Kyler being a factor. Do you understand, Mom?”

  “I guess what you’re trying to say is that you’d like to be able to say you’d be happy here whether Kyler was here or not. Right?”

  “Yes. Kyler’s become a friend. A good friend.” She smiled a little. “And more, of course. But this is a huge decision for me. I don’t want to make the wrong one. And I don’t want to make it for the wrong reason.”

  Her mother nodded. “I understand, honey. I do. We’ve loved having you here, of course, but this has always been your decision.”

  “And I’ve loved being here. I really have. I’ve done things I never thought I would have. I’ve loved biking and hiking. I’ve hugged trees, for god’s sake!”

  Her mother laughed. “I wish we had a picture of that.”

  “Being back with you and Dad, with Mark, it made me realize how much I missed being a part of a family on a daily basis. When I leave here, I’m going to really miss that.”

  Her mother came closer, bending down to gather her in a tight hug. “I only want you to be happy, honey. And I know for the last year or so, you haven’t been. I didn’t need to be there to know that. I could hear it in your voice when we spoke.” She finally released her. “You do what you need to do. If this mountain isn’t for you, then it isn’t for you. If you decide to stay in Austin, we’ll still come visit you like we always have. Mark will too.”

  “Mom—”

  “Honey, this is your life. Only you can decide. And I think I agree. You don’t need outside influences. And yes, I’ll admit, I did think that if you and Kyler…well, if you were to become involved, I thought maybe that might persuade you to stay. That was selfish on my part. And I don’t only mean because it would allow your father and me some time to travel. It was selfish to want you up here with us, as a family. Because we missed that too.”

  “That’s not selfish, Mom. I told you, I missed our family time. Seven years is a long time to be apart.”

  “I know. We sort of abandoned you down there, didn’t we? At first we thought you’d have Mark and Mia, but then…”

  Lexie stood up, stopping her mother by hugging her. “It’s okay, Mom. We may have been physically apart, but I never once thought you’d abandoned me. You were a phone call away.”

  They stepped apart and smiled at each other. “Okay, then. So you’re leaving the day after Christmas. At least the weather should be good for your drive.”

  “I love you, Mom.”

  That, of course, warranted another tight hug. “Oh, honey, I love you too.”

  Chapter Forty-six

  Kyler knew her gift wasn’t really appropriate any longer, but she had nothing else to give. Her giftwrapping job was a little messy too, but there are only so many ways to wrap a hiking stick. None of that seemed to matter to Lexie, though. When their eyes met, she saw the misting of tears there.

  “You remembered.”

  “I did.”

  “It’s beautiful, Kyler. Thank you.”

  Lexie bent to inspect the carvings on the side. Kyler had managed to etch out a dove on one side and an eagle on the other. Eagle or hawk, it looked like either. To an expert’s eyes, it probably looked like neither. Susan went over to inspect the stick as well.

  “Good job, Kyler. I love the hawk.”

  “I think it’s an eagle. And I love the dove.” Then Lexie grinned. “See? I do know a bird or two.”

  Mark sat down beside her as more gifts were exchanged. He leaned closer, his voice low. “You okay?”

  Kyler let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not sure,” she said honestly. She met his gaze. “You were right all along.”

  “About?”

  “When you said I’d love your sister.” She let her gaze drift to Lexie. “It’s probably good she’s leaving now. I’d
get in way too deep if she stayed another month.”

  “Have you told her?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “I think she’ll be back.”

  “I don’t think so. There’s nothing up here for her. I think she’ll get back to Austin and realize just how remote we really are up here. The highlight of her stay has been a grilled fish dinner. How sad is that?”

  “If we’re talking food, then yeah, that might very well be true. But I’d hardly say it’s the highlight of her stay, Ky.” He smiled at her. “I’m going to guess the almost-meteor shower was the highlight.”

  She laughed quietly. “Okay, yeah. That might rank up there pretty high. I know it does for me.”

  Lexie looked at her and gave her a smile, almost as if she knew what they were talking about. Then she came over and surprised her by bending down to kiss her quickly on the mouth.

  “I love the hiking stick.”

  “Good. Maybe you can get out to the greenbelt and take it for a spin.”

  She meant for the words to be lighthearted, teasing, but they didn’t come out that way. Lexie held her gaze, her own eyes softening, but she said nothing. When she walked away, Kyler let out a breath.

  “Damn. That sounded kinda spiteful, didn’t it?”

  “You’re taking this better than I’d be.”

  “What am I supposed to do? Beg her to stay?”

  “I would.”

  “No, you wouldn’t. That would be selfish and you, my friend, are not selfish. Neither am I. This is her decision, not mine, not yours. Not your mother’s. Hers.”

  He nudged her arm. “Want to get drunk tomorrow night?”

  She smiled. “Not sure that will solve anything, but hell…maybe.”

  “Or we could go on a hike or something?”

  She stared at him. “That’s the first time you’ve offered.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe it’s time I got out and did something.”

  She leaned closer, resting her shoulder against his. “Thanks, buddy.”

  * * *

  After gifts, Susan served them brunch. She had quite a spread on the bar—a cheesy sausage and egg casserole, a vegetable quiche, crispy hash brown pancakes, fresh baked biscuits with butter and jam to go with them, a loaf of banana bread which was still warm, and tall glasses of orange juice. Kyler didn’t know what to take first.