I Know What You Did

by N L Hinkens

  “They’re going to have to move away,” Jo hissed. “Remember the vitriolic hate mail Robbie got before the funeral?”

  “Yeah, but it all died down pretty quickly afterward. Not everyone will react as strongly as you did—you were a close friend of Sarah’s. Anyway, it’s sort of beautiful like he said, if you think about it—a phoenix from the ashes kind of thing.”

  “Beautiful?” Jo echoed in disdain as she dished out the cheesecake. “More like a twisted fairytale.”

  “Shh, keep your voice down.”

  Jo gave a disgruntled humph. “He can’t hear me over the garbage disposal.”

  “I’m not hypocritical enough to deny him a chance at happiness when our own happiness was born out of a difficult situation,” Liam said.

  Jo glanced through to the dining room where Robbie was playing peek-a-boo with Claire as she swung back and forth. Maybe Liam had a point and she was looking at this all wrong, letting her distrust of Mia’s motives color the situation. Maybe it was the universe’s way of trying to grow something fresh and new out of the tragedy that had ended two lives all too soon. She wondered how Tory would react when she found out who her daughter had been secretly dating. She’d been concerned enough about Mia hooking up with a loser on her rebound from Noah, how would she feel about the idea of her dating her former teacher? The very teacher Mia had jokingly talked about introducing to her mother.

  Jo carried the tray into the dining nook and set the plates around the table. Liam followed behind her with three mugs of coffee.

  “Dig in!” Jo said, reaching for her fork. “There’s lots more where this came from.”

  “Mmm, delicious,” Robbie said. He winked at Jo. “I heartily approve this cheesecake!”

  “I can’t take any credit for it,” Jo replied. “My only contribution was to pick it up and ferry it home. Life with a baby is hectic enough without adding a cheesecake made from scratch to my agenda.”

  For the remainder of the evening, they avoided the topic of Mia and stuck to small talk as they sipped on their coffees. As they were gathering up the mugs and preparing to retreat to the sitting room to watch a movie, Robbie’s phone beeped with a text message. He retrieved it from his pocket and glanced at the screen.

  “It’s Mia,” he said apologetically. “She told her mother about us over Christmas dinner, but apparently it didn’t go too well. I need to drive over there and smooth things out.”

  “Good luck with that,” Liam said with a grimace.

  “Let us know if we can do anything to help,” Jo added, hoping she didn’t sound as insincere as she felt. She secretly hoped Tory could convince them to end the relationship before it went any further.

  “Thanks again,” Robbie said. “I had a wonderful evening, and I appreciate your support.”

  No sooner had the front door closed behind him than Jo’s phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. She walked over to it and picked it up while Liam lifted Claire out of her swing. Her stomach knotted. It was Tory. Frowning, she quickly made her way down the hall to the family room to take the call in private.

  “Hey, Tory.”

  “Sorry to disturb you on Christmas evening, I didn’t know who else to call,” Tory babbled. “I’m just so upset … ”

  “Not a problem,” Jo assured her. “We already finished dinner. Liam’s getting Claire cleaned up and ready for bed.”

  “So, can you talk?”

  “Yes, absolutely.” Jo clenched the phone tightly in her hand bracing herself for what was coming next.

  “Remember I told you Mia was seeing someone?” Tory’s tone vibrated with the urgency of a panicked mother.

  “Yes,” Jo said, struggling to hold her own voice steady. She knew what Tory was about to tell her, but she hadn’t decided yet how she was going to respond. She was trusting the counselor in her to take over and say the right things. To empathize, to neutralize the emotion, to reassure Tory that this could be resolved—even though she wasn’t sure it could.

  “It’s Robbie Gleeson.”

  There was silence for a moment as Tory waited for Jo to react.

  “I know,” she replied quietly. “He was here for dinner and he told us.”

  “What … did you say to him?” Tory probed.

  “I questioned the wisdom of it. I pointed out that he and Mia have both been through a very traumatic experience and might be mistaking empathy for deeper feelings for each other.”

  “She’s only eighteen. He’s taking advantage of her,” Tory ranted into the phone. “Just like Sarah took advantage of Noah. It’s disgusting. I don’t trust that man. He’s a predator.”

  Jo closed her eyes and swallowed. “I understand how it seems that way. But I know Robbie. He’s not like that.”

  “Maybe you don’t know him as well as you think you do,” Tory retorted. “Mia’s pregnant again.”

  17

  Everything progressed rapidly after Tory’s bombshell announcement. Apparently, even Robbie hadn’t known before Christmas that Mia was pregnant. But once he found out, he stepped up to the plate and one week later got down on bended knee and proposed. Mia had accepted and now sported a hefty rock on her left hand, paid for, Jo suspected, by the generous allowance from Barb’s estate. It nagged at her that Mia had suddenly become a beneficiary of Sarah’s rightful inheritance.

  No matter how Jo felt about the whirlwind relationship, there was no going back now. Mia and Robbie were engaged and planning a wedding, and Jo, albeit reservedly, was a part of it. Robbie had even asked Liam to be his best man and he’d graciously accepted. Like it or not, on Valentine’s Day, Robbie and Mia would be married. Jo couldn’t help wondering if Mia had deliberately gotten pregnant to seal the deal. She still didn’t trust the girl, or her motives, and the thought of inviting her into their circle as Sarah’s replacement nauseated her. Some of the staff at the school had secretly expressed their reservations about Robbie’s new relationship to Jo, but, at the end of the day, a baby could melt most people’s defenses, and most of the teachers had adjusted to the situation and were genuinely happy for Robbie.

  Mia, for her part, was already acting as though Jo was her new best friend. She’d invited her over to see her wedding dress this morning, and Jo hadn’t been able to think of a good reason to get out of it.

  She stood on the front step, shifting Claire from one hip to the other, as she waited for Mia to answer the door. Jo had no desire to spend even five minutes fawning over Mia’s wedding dress, but she’d accepted the fact that there would be a lot of things she would have to do that she didn’t really want to now that Mia was marrying Robbie. She wholly sympathized with Tory having to suck up the situation. Tory had admitted she wasn’t happy about it, but she was putting on a good front, for Mia’s sake. It annoyed Jo no end how much Tory seemed to be under Mia’s thumb, unable to stand up to her own daughter—even allowing her to address her as Tory.

  The front door swung wide and Mia peered out, a wily smile tugging at her lips. “Come on in. I’ve been dying for you to get here.”

  She threw a disinterested look at Claire before flouncing off down the hallway. “I’m so excited to show you my dress. Tory’s the only other person who’s seen it so far, and of course she likes it—she was with me when I picked it out.”

  “How are you feeling?” Jo asked, as she followed her down the narrow hallway to a small bedroom.

  “Ugh,” Mia responded, “You’re lucky you never had to endure the woes of pregnancy. I’m sick as a dog most mornings.” She gave a careless laugh. “I guess it’s a good thing. I don’t want to put on any weight before the wedding.”

  Jo frowned. “I think it’s better for the baby if you gain a little.”

  Mia waved a dismissive hand. “Plenty of time for that after the wedding. I don’t want to look like an albino whale in my pictures.”

  She unzipped the plastic garment bag hanging from a hook in the closet and carefully eased out her wedding dress, holding it up for Jo to gush over. �
��Well, what do you think?”

  Jo gently bounced Claire in her arms while she studied the dress. It was a strapless chiffon and lace ensemble cinched at the waist with a broad white ribbon, designed to show off Mia’s toned, slim shoulders and long blonde hair. The first thought that struck Jo was that it wouldn’t have suited Sarah’s fuller figure. Jo and Liam hadn’t attended Robbie’s and Sarah’s wedding, but their wedding portrait in a cut glass frame sat on the hall table in their foyer and Jo had seen it many times. She’d always thought Sarah looked radiant in her plunging halter dress with a full beaded skirt.

  Jo forced out a suitable response. “It’s beautiful, I’m sure you’ll look fabulous in it.”

  Mia smirked. “I want to blow Robbie away when he sees me walking down the aisle.”

  Jo turned away and pretended to fuss with Claire. Her heart wasn’t in this. She didn’t want Robbie to be blown away by his young bride. She wanted him to secretly wish it was Sarah walking toward him again. Why had she killed herself? It was all so unfair.

  “I have homemade banana nut muffins in the oven,” Mia said. “Robbie loves my muffins. Oh, and I was hoping you would read over my vows, Jo, and help me make them shine.”

  She bit back her resentment at being called Jo by her former student. It was just another minor detail about the whole situation that gnawed at her. But, like so many other things, she’d have to let it go. It wasn’t as if Mia could call her Mrs. Murphy forever, especially not now that she was marrying Robbie.

  Grimacing, Jo followed Mia into the kitchen, wondering how her relationship with the girl had morphed from one of counseling her on college choices, to helping her write her wedding vows to Robbie Gleeson.

  Mia made them each a coffee and set the mugs down on the table. She smiled conspiratorially as she slipped into the chair next to Jo and rubbed her belly. “It’s so fun to think that Claire’s going to have a little brother or sister, isn’t it? It’s like our little secret.”

  Jo’s smile froze on her face. “You can’t go around saying things like that.”

  Mia gave a hard laugh that grated like claws on Jo’s scalp. “I’m only saying it to you, silly.” She arched a devious brow. “I wonder if they’ll look alike, you know—if people will notice.”

  Heat prickled along the back of Jo’s shoulders. Not for the first time she wondered if she’d done the right thing in adopting Mia’s baby. It was almost as though Mia enjoyed reminding her of what she owed her from time to time, wielding it like a weapon when she wanted to intimidate her. “I can’t stay long, Mia. I have to get back for Claire’s nap. Let me take a quick look at your vows before I go.”

  Mia sipped her coffee and shrugged. “Come to think of it, I need to work on them a little more first. We can do it some other time. First, I need to come up with some names for the baby. Robbie and I can’t seem to agree on any.”

  To Jo’s relief, Claire began to wail and rub her eyes right on cue. Jo hurriedly got to her feet. “Thanks for the coffee, Mia.”

  “You didn’t even get a muffin yet,” she protested, glancing at the timer on the oven.

  “Next time,” Jo said, making a beeline for the front door.

  Before she knew it, the day of Robbie’s and Mia’s wedding rolled around. Liam appeared to have accepted the new arrangement without reservation and had thrown himself into his role as best man, but Jo was still ambivalent about the union. Her mood was subdued as she dressed Claire in the embroidered champagne-colored satin dress with matching shoes that Mia had insisted on buying, and then telling her she’d dropped a small fortune on—Robbie’s money of course. She added a satin headband with an oversized rosette and then propped Claire up on the couch to take a picture of her. She really was a beautiful child, but Jo was beginning to wish she didn’t resemble Mia quite as much as she did. She hated to admit it, but it made her uneasy. What if people noticed as she grew older? She’d never dreamt that Mia would end up in her inner circle with a baby of her own close to Claire’s age.

  Liam walked into the room adjusting his tie, dressed in a double-breasted navy suit.

  “You look very handsome,” Jo said. “Do you have your speech in your pocket?” Her voice was tinged with an undertone of anxiety. She and Liam had worked long and hard on his speech, but it still felt unsatisfactory. So many times, as they’d pored over it, they wanted to make mention of a story that included Sarah. By the time they edited everything out of the speech that didn’t reference her, it felt wrung out and devoid of any heartfelt richness. Robbie and Mia had so little history together, and what they did have was pretty much a taboo subject. Still, Jo managed to push aside her lingering doubts long enough to include a few generic sentiments to support Robbie on his special day.

  “I’ll see you at the church,” Liam said, leaning over to kiss Jo on the lips. He swung Claire up and spun her around. “And I’ll see you shortly too, angel girl.”

  A few minutes after Liam departed, Jo strapped Claire into her car seat and drove to the church. She missed Sarah more each day. It was worse now that Mia and Robbie were officially together. She’d visited Barb several times over the past few months hoping to trigger some memory of Sarah they could reminisce over together, but to no avail. Barb was captivated by Claire but had no clue who Jo was. Robbie sent her a wedding invitation, as a courtesy. But she was no longer in a position to leave the Alzheimer’s home, not even for short trips. Tory had invited Jo to sit next to her in the church and she’d somewhat reluctantly agreed. She didn’t really want a front row seat in case her facial expression slipped at a crucial time when the photographer was snapping photos or the videographer was panning the faces of the guests. But she’d relented, knowing that Tory didn’t want to sit beside her ex-husband, Chuck, who was coming down from San Francisco to give Mia away.

  “He already walked away when she was three years old,” Tory fumed. “I don’t understand why Mia wants him to give her away now.”

  Jo secretly agreed with the sentiment. Mia hadn’t spoken very highly of her father when Claire was born. If she wanted to keep with the tradition of being handed off, she should have asked Tory to walk her down the aisle—the parent who’d been there for her all these years.

  When she arrived at the church, Jo chatted with some of the other guests before making her way up to the front to take her seat next to Tory.

  Liam gave her a tense smile from where he and Robbie stood facing the congregation in their matching suits and boutonnieres.

  When the melodic strains of the “Butterfly Waltz” filled the church, a rustling swept through the pews as everyone stood and turned to face the aisle. Holding a wriggling Claire in her arms, Jo watched a resplendent Mia proceed down the aisle, her hand tucked into her father’s arm. Tall and broad-shouldered, Chuck Allen’s handsome features were ruddy and lined, either with the cares of the years, or possibly an alcohol addiction. The reception would reveal all, no doubt. He certainly hadn’t aged as gracefully as Tory—they looked decades apart.

  As Mia approached the front row, Tory’s fingernails dug into Jo’s arm. “She looks gorgeous,” she whispered.

  “Stunning,” Jo agreed, but she wasn’t looking at Mia. She was staring down at her daughter, Mia’s miniature double.

  When Robbie and Mia faced one another to offer their vows, Jo shifted uncomfortably in the pew, wrestling with her emotions. Everything in the church was beautiful, from the flowers to the outfits to the music, everything except the ugly feelings inside her—resentment, bitterness, and a heavy dose of regret. Why had she never noticed that something was going on between Sarah and Noah? She might have been able to intervene and encourage Sarah to break off the relationship, or not begin it at all. Had she unwittingly played some small role in what happened by not being more observant of what was going on in her friend’s life? She’d been so wrapped up in her own problems, so self-absorbed in her battle to conceive that she might have missed the little clues that things weren’t as they seemed. Maybe she’d m
issed Sarah’s cry for help. We’ve all been there. Had she been trying to tell Jo something? Was she secretly unhappy with Robbie?

  She blinked, tuning in again briefly to hear Mia say, “ … you are my best friend, and this is the happiest day of my life … ”

  Sarah had been Robbie’s best friend once. This might be the happiest day of Mia’s life, but the fact that it existed at all was wrong. Jo bent over her daughter to hide her face from the videographer’s probing lens as he swept over the congregation. When Claire began to fuss, Jo leaned over and whispered to Tory that she was going to take her outside, and then gratefully retreated down the aisle and out through the double doors.

  She sucked in a deep breath of fresh air, thankful not to have to witness any more of the nauseating ceremony. She didn’t want to feel this way, but she was having a physiological reaction watching Robbie promise himself to her former student, the biological mother of her baby who was now carrying Robbie’s child. Jo walked Claire back to their car, opened the trunk, and got out the stroller. After two brisk circuits around the parking lots, Claire fell asleep. Jo gingerly lifted her back out of her stroller, placed her in her car seat and then climbed in to wait for the ceremony to end.

  Before long, Mia and Robbie emerged in the arched doorway, their guests spilling out after them. Jo texted Liam to say she was in the car with Claire. To her surprise, she observed Tory and Chuck engaged in conversation at the side of the church. Jo had been under the impression that they weren’t on speaking terms, but maybe unbeknownst to her they’d resolved to set aside their differences for the day. She watched discreetly as the photographer snapped some more photos, before the happy couple climbed into their limousine and headed off to the reception.

  Jo gritted her teeth and turned the key in the ignition. Only a few more hours to endure and then this show would be over. Maybe she should reconsider going back to school in the New Year. Maybe she and Liam should move out of the area entirely now that Mia was here to stay.