by Stasia Black
You know what? Fuck it. Maybe he did need a little bit of space from all this. He grabbed his shoes off the ground and stormed out of the room, trying to hold back the grimace of pain from showing on his face.
Half a day of watching Billy go through withdrawal was enough to have him refusing to take pain meds. Drea said he was being stupid. That taking them for a week wouldn’t turn him into an addict. Fuck that. Eric wasn’t going near that poison.
Garrett hopped to his feet and followed Eric out of the room, dropping the old pre-Fall magazine he’d been flipping through.
Eric shook his head, jaw locked. He glared back at Garrett. “You don’t have to jump to do everything she says like a damn trained dog.”
“Hey man,” Garrett narrowed his eyes, “maybe you wanna take the asshole down a notch? Or fucking ten?”
“Whatever.”
Eric stormed through the apartment and pushed through the double doors to the small balcony off the living room.
He sucked in a long breath of deep air as soon as he braced his good hand on the railing and dropped his head down.
The sun beat down on his head and he closed his eyes.
Only to be yanked backwards the next moment.
“Jesus, are you fucking crazy?”
Garrett pulled him back into the apartment and shut the glass doors behind him, heavy curtains swinging. “You’re lucky you didn’t just get your head blown off. We don’t know who the hell is watching this place. Now let’s go get some damn food.”
Eric jerked away from Garret’s hold on his good shoulder. What the fuck was this guy’s problem? Around Drea he was like this overgrown puppy—so eager to please and almost desperate for any scrap of affection she shot his way. But as soon as she was out of earshot he turned back into an intimidating hulk who glared at everyone and barely spoke a word.
So Eric was surprised when, as they stepped onto the elevator, Garrett spoke up again. “Her mom was an addict, you know.”
Eric felt his eyebrows all but hit his hairline. “What?” He turned to Garrett. The big guy just stared ahead at the elevator wall as he nodded.
“Yeah. Drea’s always been real messed up about it. Her mom OD’d when Drea was like, six. And Drea lived with her most of that time, too. I don’t know the whole story, but Child Services took Drea away from her ma after she like, attacked Drea when she was high or some shit. That’s when she came to live with her dad here at the MC.”
Eric blinked. This was a helluva lot more information than he’d bargained on in one elevator ride.
“Domino always bashed on what a skanked out crack whore Drea’s mom was, but if you watched Drea’s face, she’d get real defensive. I heard them get into this big fight over it once. Drea shouting that Domino should have done more to try to help her mom. That it was his fault she died. Domino just fucking lost it. He pulled out his gun and emptied an entire round into the wall.”
The elevator dinged and opened on the first floor.
Eric was silent as they both stepped out.
Garrett finally looked his way. “Well shit got real quiet after that. So the whole damn club heard Domino when he yelled back that he had tried to get Cathy—that was her mom’s name—that he’d tried to get Cathy clean over and over again. Apparently he’d sent her to rehab right after they got married and he realized just how bad her problem was. She started using again a few months after she got back, though. Then he made her go again as soon as they found out she was pregnant with Drea.”
They headed through the lobby toward the kitchens. Gisela was there, leading a group of women through some basic exercises and what looked like self-defense moves.
“I guess it stuck for a little bit that time. At least through the pregnancy. Domino thought maybe she’d kicked it for good. You know, cause they had a family now.”
“But she didn’t,” Eric said.
“Nope.” Garrett shook his head. “She made it a couple years that time. But then she started back up. She kept it hidden for longer. But only cause she was boning Domino’s VP so he could keep her supplied in drugs.”
“Damn,” Eric said.
“Domino found out.”
“Did he kill her?”
“That’s what Drea wanted to know. But no. Apparently he let his club think that he did. But in reality, he sent her off to rehab again. He told her it was her last chance. If she could get clean and stay clean for three years, then he’d let her see her daughter again.”
Garrett made eye contact with Eric again. “She asked for a brick of H instead, as payment for disappearing forever. She OD’d three days later.”
“Shit.” Eric looked back at the elevator right before they pushed through the door that led to the kitchens.
“So yeah, Drea’s always been a little sensitive when it comes to addicts.”
Chattering voices echoed down the hallway, louder as Garrett pulled open the kitchen door.
“You heard what Belladonna said. We’re each supposed to get at least twelve hundred calories worth per day,” said a brunette who stood at the big industrial stove, cutting off what sounded like many dissenting voices. “So no, we cannot cook all of the steak to eat at once. The fruit and the vegetables that will go bad and can’t be frozen? That we do need to eat in the next few days. So if you’re on salad duty, get to your station. Now. Where are my bakers?”
Several women held up their hands.
The brunette waved them up to the front of the crowd. “We found where they were keeping the active dry yeast so tonight you can make actual bread instead of just biscuits. Okay, next up is— Oh!” The woman startled at noticing Eric and Garrett, jumping backwards and banging into the stove where several large pots of what looked like stew bubbled. Her eyes darted around like she was looking for some sort of weapon.
Eric’s stomach sank. Shit. These women—he couldn’t even fathom what they’d lived through. Immediately his thoughts went to his daughter.
Sophia’s safe, he reminded himself. He’d called Nix’s sat phone as soon as he heard Drea had one and Sophia was safely ensconced with a group in an extensive cave system in northern San Antonio. And for all his many sins, at least he’d kept her from a life like what these women had lived through.
Apparently the cave was getting crowded, though, because in addition to Eric’s people from Jacob’s Well, there was half an army down there, too. The one the President had sent down to fortify Jacob’s Well right before he’d been assassinated.
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” Eric said, gentling his voice to a soft baritone. “Drea just sent us down here to get some food for the four of us.” He looked around at all the skeletal women and immediately felt ashamed. “If you have any to spare, that is.”
Eric wanted to get back to his daughter and his people as soon as possible but Drea was right. They needed this week’s respite for more than Billy’s withdrawal. The women were half starved and in bad shape.
This was one of the only places anywhere close by with the food, supplies, and amenities they’d needed to regroup. Some of the girls were so weak they might not have a chance immediately going on the run.
Garrett was spending most of his time down in the garage fixing up their transport out of there but it would take a couple more days too. And in the meantime, this place had the basic fortifications they needed to protect themselves. It wasn’t like they could hide their group of fifty anywhere else very easily.
The brunette continued watching him distrustfully but finally, she nodded. “Anything for Belladonna.”
“Four bowls,” she snapped and a woman down the line scurried off to the side of the kitchen, returning moments later with a short stack of bowls.
“Is stew all right? Shit, I forgot to save some of the biscuits from breakfast. But if you give us thirty minutes, we can have a new batch whipped up and—
“No,” Eric held a hand up. “It’s not necessary. You know you all are Drea’s first priority, not herself.”
Eri
c hadn’t said it to get brownie points—it was just a fact—but as a pleased murmur went through the crowd, Eric realized just how much Drea meant to these women. Deservedly so.
When he heard exactly what she’d done to take the compound, Jesus, he’d almost had a heart attack. He’d been too furious at her at the time for taking such insane risks to really appreciate it for the amazing accomplishment it was.
She’d risked everything—she’d risked her life—for what? For these women who had all been strangers to her before two days ago?
And for you, asshole.
“It’s starting to sink in, huh,” Garrett said as the brunette handed them each two bowls and spoons.
“What?” Eric asked, still distracted by thoughts of Drea.
“Just how lucky we are to even get to share the same air space as her.” He nodded up toward the ceiling and Eric got his meaning.
And he was right. Every day by Drea’s side was a fucking privilege.
Neither Eric nor Garrett said a word as they took the elevator back up to the apartment. When they got inside, the first thing they heard was Billy screaming obscenities at Drea.
Eric couldn’t help his back going stiff but he told himself to calm his shit as he walked toward the bedroom with the steaming bowl.
As soon as he pushed the door open, his eyes went to Drea. She was as beautiful as ever and— Shit, did he really just admit that to himself? But fuck, there was no denying it. She was a beautiful woman. Even with dark circles under her eyes and shoulders slumped like she was carrying the entire weight of the world on her shoulders.
She was fucking beautiful. And Lord knew it wasn’t just skin deep. She was the complete package. She was more. She was—
Everything.
She was everything.
Drea turned her tired eyes to him. “Well are you just gonna stand there in the doorway with your dick in your hand or are you gonna bring me that stew?”
Eric grinned.
“Your wish is my command.”
Chapter Eleven
DREA
Drea laid on her bed and thought about Mama. It was all she did, seemed like. Laid on her bed. Thought about Mama. Cried. Thought about Mama some more. Missed Mama. Cried some more.
She hadn’t seen Mama in four whole months.
If only she hadn’t tried to wake Mama up that time.
She knew Mama was always bad after she poked herself with that needle. Drea knew better. She shoulda just gone to her room and stayed there and not bothered Mama till she was feeling better. Yeah Mama had been poking herself more and more lately and Drea was hungry more often than not but that wasn’t the point.
Sometimes Mamas needed looking after and Drea hadn’t done a good enough job. Then people came and took her away from Mama ‘cause of it.
And now she had to live with the big man who said he was her Daddy. Sometimes she thought Mama might be right and he was the Devil because he sure was big and scary looking enough to be him. He had a tattoo of a skull on his face, right over where the bones would be.
He shoved the door open to her room where she’d been playing with her Barbies. One was Mama Barbie and the other was Drea Barbie and Mama Barbie was hugging Drea Barbie and telling her how much she loved her and they were dancing and they were both happy.
But then Devil Daddy shoved the door open and Drea yanked both Barbies behind her back and held her breath.
“Enough with your mopin’ and caterwallin’,” Devil Daddy said. “And enough with stayin’ cooped up inside this room. You’re a little girl. Little girls need sunshine.” The shadows of his face tattoo were even more terrifying in the dim light of her bedroom and when he pointed toward her bedroom door, she scurried toward it without arguing.
But when she got to the hallway, it wasn’t much better. Devil Daddy lived in what he called an Em-See. She didn’t know what that meant. But she did know that everywhere she looked, there were big men with scary tattoos and they all rode loud motorcycles that made so much noise out her window at all hours of the day it hurt her ears.
“Don’t worry ‘bout them none,” he’d said the first day he brought her up to her room. “No one’ll touch a hair on your pretty head cause you’re the Pres’s kid. It’s safe as houses for you here.”
Drea wouldn’t know anything about that ‘cause she’d never lived in a house. She and Mama’d had an apartment for as long as she could remember. And now she had a room in this Em-See place.
She stopped in the hallway, frozen in place when she saw two of the other big Devil men staring up at her. The second floor opened up and overlooked the first and all eyes were on them.
“What the hell are y’all lookin’ at?” Daddy snapped. “I’m just takin’ my daughter here for a walk.”
He grabbed Drea’s hand and tugged her forward with enough force that she had to stumble to keep up or else she’d fall over and get dragged. She didn’t want to draw any more attention from all the men downstairs so she hurried to keep up with Devil Daddy.
“Brenda,” he barked once they’d gotten down the stairs. A woman sitting on a man’s lap jumped up and hurried toward Daddy. “Did you get those things I asked for?”
Drea backed up and hid behind Daddy as the woman with the painted face came closer. She peeked out around him to watch furtively as the woman grinned wide, bright pink lipstick all over her teeth.
“Sure did, honey. If there’s anything else Brenda can ever do for you, you know you only need to ask. I’m really good with kids, too.”
She blinked lashes that were black with a lot of caked on goop and started to slide a hand down Daddy’s chest. But Daddy caught her wrist almost the second she made contact and yanked it away from him. “Just the things I asked for, thanks.”
Brenda’s grin fell and she frowned down at Drea. Drea pulled back behind Daddy. She did not like the Brenda lady.
Brenda said something about them being behind the bar and Daddy took Drea’s hand again, just long enough to get a brown paper bag from behind the bar that was as tall as Drea was.
Then Daddy led her around to the women’s bathroom. He had to kick a man and woman out first, but then he told her to go in and change into the things in the bag.
Drea’s mouth fell open. It was clothes? For her? She looked down at what she was wearing and felt her cheeks go pink. Did Daddy not like the purple dress she was wearing? She was careful to keep it clean. She was always real, real careful. She took real good care of her stuff cause Mama hadn’t always been the best about remembering to do the laundry or buy her new stuff as she grew bigger.
Thinking about Mama made her want to start crying again, and maybe Devil Daddy could tell because he just shoved the brown paper bag at her and said, “None of that. Go on now git.”
She did. But as soon as she got in the bathroom, she was sure she was gonna make Devil Daddy mad. Because she didn’t know what half the things in the bag were. She held up long black leather pieces that had a sort of belt buckle on the top in confusion. Was she supposed to… She turned them around this way and that but still had no idea what to do with them.
Some of the other things were less freaky. Jeans. Okay, those she could handle. She slipped them on, one leg and then the other. They were a couple sizes too big but if she held on to them, they’d stay up. Maybe that was what the belt buckle was for? But then there were those long leather flaps that would just get in her way when she tried to walk!
Loud knocking came at the door, then Daddy’s booming Devil voice: “How’s it going in there?”
“Fine!” she called back, hurrying to pull the black T-shirt on over her head. It was too big, too, and it had a scary picture of a skull on it, like the one on Daddy’s face. Except this one had blood dripping off it.
“I’m coming in, you decent?” Daddy asked.
He barely waited for her squeaked, “Yes,” before he barreled in, frowning down at her. “Fucking Brenda,” he swore. Drea was used to Mama saying bad words but so far De
vil Daddy hadn’t used any around her.
“Sorry kid,” he said, running a hand through his hair and then crouching over so he was at her level. “Okay, so let’s see what we can do with these. There a little big, huh?”
It was the first time he’d done that—gotten down on her level. And up close… well maybe he wasn’t quite so scary. He had blue eyes, like Drea did. If she squinted her eyes a little so that they got blurry, she didn’t see the face tattoo so much and his face looked, well, sorta nice, even.
“These are chaps,” he explained as he undid the buckle of the leather item that had baffled her. He pulled it around her waist and looped it through the belt loops on her jeans. “You wear these over your jeans and they’re kinda like a supple armor. They keep you safe when you’re on the road.”
Armor.
Drea liked the thought of that.
“Then they just lay over your jeans, like this.” He arranged the leather flaps around her jeans, and rolled up her jeans where they bunched at her feet. “We’ll get you some jeans that are your size, too. Shoulda thought of that sooner. We’ll get you all new clothes. Daughter of mine oughta be dressed like a princess.”
Drea bit her lip again because she didn’t want to cry in front of Daddy. Why was he being so nice to her? Wasn’t he supposed to be the Devil? Or was this all just pretend? He was only being nice to her now like Mama was on her good days, and then he’d turn evil on her when she wasn’t expecting it?
“Then you put on the jacket like this.” He helped her pull on the leather jacket. It was also too big, but he closed it up for her and grinned. “All right, you’re all set. Let’s go.”
He held out his hand and in spite of how scared she was, she took it.
He took her out back where there was a line of huge motorcycles. Drea was terrified when he said she was gonna ride one.
She froze where she stood but Daddy just picked her up and plopped her down on the closest one. “Well, you’re just a lil’ bit o’ nothin’, ain’t you? Light as a feather. Get your leg over the other side. That’s right, just like that.”