Arms Dealers

by Erik Henry Vick

  “Name-calling is beneath your dignity, Lieu,” said Leery.

  “Is it?” Van Helsing disappeared and reappeared facing him half a heartbeat later, snapped her fingers in his face, then disappeared and reappeared close to Dru again. “That troll is close to rut. Didn’t you see the signs?”

  “Of course, I did,” said Dru with a little heat in her voice. “That’s why I turned up the wattage.”

  “And if he’d lost control? If he’d suddenly fallen into rut because of your ‘wattage?’”

  Dru shrugged. “He’s not that close.”

  “Oh, no? And you are certain of this, how?”

  A one-sided smile—more of a sneer—appeared on Dru’s lips. “Because of who and what I am, Van Helsing. I’m the one best suited for evaluating such matters.”

  “Dangerous!”

  “Everything was under my control.”

  “Reckless!”

  “Not at all. I know precisely where the line is, Lieutenant. I wasn’t even close.”

  “In this precinct, I define where that line is, not some avaricious, bawdy little libertine!”

  Dru opened her mouth to retort, her face twisted with anger, her eyes narrowed.

  Van Helsing held up a hand. “No more, siren. No more! Watch how this can be done without resorting to base tactics!” She flickered away and reappeared in the interview room. She glanced at the mirrored window. “Leery, get your posterior in here.”

  Leery sighed and took a giant gulp of coffee. “For what it’s worth, Dru, I think you played it right.”

  “Yeah,” she hissed. “Not that what you or I think matters.”

  “Well… The lieu’s got this whole Victorian thing going. She can’t help it. Those were the times she was raised in.”

  “By prudes!”

  “Worse. Paladins.”

  “Leery!” Van Helsing shouted.

  “Oops, gotta go.” He returned to the interview room, taking another swig of coffee, and closed the door behind him.

  “Where is the other one?” asked Lothidn.

  “She won’t be returning,” said Van Helsing in a gelid tone.

  “Nunnh. Then get my magister.” The troll crossed his arms over his ample chest muscles and leaned back in his chair.

  “Oh, now you’ve done it, Lothidn,” said Leery, shaking his head sadly. “Now, we can’t help you get out of the mess you’re in.”

  “Nunh. No mess. Magister.”

  “Come on, Lothidn. Let’s not blow all this out of proportion.”

  “M-A-G-I-S-T-E-R.”

  Van Helsing glared at the troll, flashing and fading in turns. “Bad move, troll,” she hissed.

  “You really should try to cooperate,” said Leery.

  “Nunnh. Magister. Now.”

  Van Helsing growled and disappeared.

  “Great,” muttered Leery. “How about I go see if Dru can come back?”

  “Too late,” said Lothidn, shaking his big head. “Get me a magister or I’m leaving. Or do you charge me with a crime?”

  Leery sighed. “No, no charges at this time.”

  “Fine. I’m leaving. Unnh. Don’t follow me. Don’t come wreck my apartment again. Nunnh.” Lothidn pushed back from the table, and Leery had to dive for the tray of coffees to keep them from spilling.

  “Whew, that was close,” he said as Lothidn swept out the door.

  15

  Dru slammed the door shared by the observation room and the squad room and stalked to her desk. She slumped into her chair and glared at Van Helsing’s office door. Her face settled into a cold mask, and she fished her cell phone from the pocket of her coat before stalking out of the room.

  Leery came out of the interview room in time to see her breezing toward the elevator. “Hey, Dru. You want your coffee?”

  “You have it, Oriscoe,” she said over her shoulder.

  “Where are you going?”

  The elevator doors slid shut.

  Leery sniffed and threw a glance at Van Helsing’s office. He set the tray of coffee on his desk, stepped toward the lieutenant’s office, then turned back and took a second cup of joe in his free hand. “Gonna need this, I think,” he muttered.

  He stepped through Van Helsing’s door, his gaze floating around the room. “I know you’re in here, Lieu,” he said softly. “Come on out. We need to talk.”

  “Why? So you can tell me how wrong I am?” said Epatha’s disembodied voice. “I’ve been hearing nothing else lately—and from more important men than you.”

  “What’s all this about, Epatha?” Leery sank into his accustomed chair and took a sip each from his two cups of coffee. “You’ve been on edge.”

  “Ha! You think so?” Van Helsing materialized in her chair, her head cradled in her hands. “First, I’m forced—forced, Leery—into accepting that…that cocotte into my squad, then I’m chastised for dealing with her failures as I see fit. Tell me that’s not a fine kettle of mackerel.”

  “By who?”

  “By the Chief of Ds, by the Commissioner, even by his eminence, the Cynosure. It seems she has powerful friends.”

  Leery squinted at the lieutenant over one of his coffee cups. “More than that, Lieu. But I don’t think Dru called in any reinforcements. It’s not in her character.”

  “Oh, isn’t it?”

  “No, Epatha, it isn’t.” Leery shook his head and took a gulp of coffee. “Look, Lieu, she’s using an officially sanctioned fake name to avoid favoritism. Her family—”

  “This is her avoiding favoritism?” demanded Van Helsing, shaking a sheath of paper at Leery.

  “I don’t know what that is, Lieu, but I’ve seen her anger when her identity is threatened.”

  “Yeah, I heard all about her performance in Crowley’s courtroom.”

  “Hey, it’s not like she could control the judge. She had to go along with his antics, but she didn’t like it. Besides, Old Crowley is like an uncle to her.”

  “Who is she, Leery?”

  “I can’t tell you that, Lieu, but maybe you should just ask her.”

  Van Helsing flickered like a bulb about to go out and sighed. “Sure. Maybe I should bend the knee, as well.”

  “I can’t tell you more, Lieu, so please don’t ask, but you’re not far from the truth there.”

  She looked at him for a long moment, then nodded to herself. “Half-succubus, half-vampire.”

  Leery drank his coffee and said nothing.

  “Oh, no,” said Van Helsing in a miserable tone. “Tell me she’s not who I think she is.”

  “Like I said, Lieu. I can’t say anything.”

  The lieutenant seemed to shrink in on herself until she disappeared from view. Leery shrugged and left her office.

  16

  Leery hung up the phone and grinned at Dru as she walked into the squad room. “Feeling better?”

  Dru looked at the lieutenant’s office with a sour, angry expression on her face. “Sure. Peachy.”

  “Listen, Dru. She’s getting pressure from on high.”

  “And?”

  “Pressure about you, and it rankles.”

  “I haven’t asked anyone to—”

  “Doesn’t matter. She’s getting flak from the Chief of Ds, the Police Commissioner, even the Cynosure.”

  “What?” Dru grimaced at the ground and brought her hands up to rub her temples.

  “That’s right.”

  “Then she’s right? I don’t belong here, do I, Leery?”

  “No, that part’s wrong. You’ve got great instincts for this work, Dru. But people are out to help you regardless of your subterfuge about the names.”

  “Mother,” Dru groaned.

  “That’d be my guess, though His Majesty the Prince might bear his share of blame there. I know if you were my daughter, I’d be pulling favors from here to Sunday to get you what you wanted.”

  Dru slumped into her chair. “Who was that? On the phone.”

  “Hinton. I called her in to see if one of
the victims can ID Lothidn from the picture you took of him.”

  “Good thinking.”

  “Listen, Dru. You should speak to Van Helsing. Lay it all out on the table. Let her know you don’t want any of this interference that’s been plaguing her. Tell her you’ll speak to your parents.” Leery waved his hand in a vague circle. “You know, all that.”

  “Right.” Her face hardened. “I hate this, Leery.”

  “I know you do.”

  “Get me when Hinton shows up, okay? I want to be in on the séance.”

  “Righto. Oh, look. There’s that coffee I brought you.”

  “Knock yourself out, Leery.”

  Dru walked to the lieutenant’s door and knocked. “Lieutenant Van Helsing? You got a second?”

  “Come in and close the door.”

  Leery smiled as the door swung shut. “I should hang out a shingle. Maybe do couples counseling.” He sobered after a moment. “Then again, my third wife would probably say I’m not cut out for it.” He shrugged and reached for Dru’s coffee.

  17

  Jenn Hinton swept into the squad room like a whirlwind, a large black case in one hand, and her many-colored long scarf in the other. Her delicate features wore a smile that was almost fetching, but all that faded as she dropped the scarf onto Dru’s desk and the illusion it bore faded, revealing her true features—hunched back, maroon scales, enormous feet. “Ready to do this thing, Oriscoe?”

  “One second.” He picked up his phone and punched in Van Helsing’s extension. “Yeah, Lieu? My nemesis is here for the séance. What? Yeah, Hinton, from CSI. Right.” He hung up the phone and flashed a grin at Jenn. “Let’s get you set up.”

  Jenn’s eyes went to the closed door, and she raised an eyebrow.

  “Nothing to worry about,” said Leery.

  Hinton shrugged. “Interview room?”

  “Yeah, it ain’t the Ritz, but it’s the best we’ve got.” He led her to the door and held it open for her.

  She looked at him with narrow-eyed suspicion. “What’s up?”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “The last time you were nice to me, you wanted me to summon Elvis. I’ll tell you the same thing I told you then: He’s too busy.”

  “Forget about that, would you? It was an errant thought.”

  “Then why are you being so nice?”

  “Fine,” he said. He walked into the room and closed the door in her face.

  With a small grin, she followed him inside. “That’s better.”

  “Yep.” He leaned against the window ledge and waved at the table. “Hurry up, will you?”

  “These things take time, Oriscoe.” She plodded to the table and stood looking down at it for a few breaths before lifting her case and setting it on the table. Then she looked at that for a moment before working the clasps.

  “I think you’ve gotten even slower than you used to be.”

  “Why thank you, Leery,” said Jenn.

  Van Helsing and Dru came in from the observation room, both smiling.

  Hinton pulled a pendulum from her case and set it in the center of the table. “We’ll need the photo.”

  “I’ve got it on my phone.”

  “No physical copy?”

  Dru shook her head.

  Hinton sighed. “We’ll make do. Keep it ready, and when I say, show it to the spirit.”

  Van Helsing scoffed at the pendulum. “You don’t need that thing.”

  “It helps me focus,” said Hinton with a shrug. She brought out her chalk and bent to sketch a pentagram under the table. When she straightened up, she pulled a black candle from her bag and lit it before setting it down next to the pendulum. “Ready?”

  Leery and Dru took seats on one side of the table, and Hinton sat in a chair opposite them. “Lieutenant? Do you wish to participate? It might be uncomfortable.”

  “I’ll observe from in there.” She hooked her thumb toward the mirrored window and disappeared.

  “Right. Who wants to hold the pendulum?”

  “Uh, it’s for you, right?”

  Hinton leaned forward and held a hand cupped to her mouth. She whispered, “Not really, but I make it practice not to argue with ghosts about how to summon them. They all have their own ideas on the subject, and frankly, they should leave it to professionals.”

  “Ah,” said Leery. He picked up the pendulum and held it out to Dru, who shook her head. “I guess it’s me, then.”

  “Fine. As much as I dislike the idea, we need to join hands.” She took Leery by the wrist holding the pendulum. “It’s important that we don’t break contact.”

  “Why all the hocus pocus? Why can’t you summon them as you did in the alley?” asked Dru.

  “They’ve gone on,” said Jenn with a shrug. “I can’t just call them back. I’ll need to send a spirit for them.” She held out her hand.

  With a sigh, Dru took it, then grabbed Leery’s empty hand.

  “Aw, shucks. Does this mean we’re going steady?” Leery grinned at both women.

  “Is he always this immature?” asked Dru.

  “Only around women. And most men. And animals.”

  Leery cocked his head to the side, smiled, and batted his eyelashes. “Let’s go, Hinton. I don’t have all day.”

  “Fine. Here we go.” Hinton closed her eyes and hummed a single note. “Are there any helper spirits nearby? Is there anyone willing to speak with us today? If so, please swing the pendulum.” Everyone stared at the prism hanging from its thin silver chain. “Please assist us,” Jenn intoned. “We need your help. If you are willing, please touch the prism.”

  After a moment, the pendulum swung back and forth.

  “Thank you,” said Jenn. “We need to speak with two spirits who recently transitioned to the spirit world. In our realm, they were known as Michelle Williams and Katy Costello. Can you locate them for us? If you can, please swing the pendulum toward me.” She waited until it moved toward her, then nodded. “Thank you. Please ask either one to come to this spot and manifest.”

  After a few minutes, the air above the candle began to shimmer and pulse with soft blue light. The swirling mist coalesced into the head of Katy Costello. Her lips moved, but she made no sound.

  “One moment,” said Hinton. She leaned back and closed her eyes. After a breath, she chanted something in the Verba Patiendi. Opening her eyes, she nodded at Costello. “There. You should have enough form to move the required air molecules.”

  “Can you hear me now?”

  “Yes. Ms. Costello. We have a photograph we’d like to show you. Detective Nogan has it on her phone.”

  Katy nodded. “Fine.”

  Dru held up the phone, and Katy stared at for a few seconds. “It’s hard to see, but that’s him.”

  “Are you sure?” asked Leery.

  “I’ll never forget him,” said Katy as she began to fade in and out. “That bastard amputated my arms with a pair of battle axes.”

  “Right.”

  “Thank you, Ms. Costello,” intoned Hinton.

  “Will I have to return to testify?” the ghost asked.

  “No, that won’t be necessary. Your identification here is enough.”

  “Good. This is harder than I thought it would be.” She grinned, but it wasn’t a happy one. “Otherwise, I’d haunt that bastard troll.”

  18

  Leery stepped into Van Helsing’s open doorway. “He’s in the wind, Lieu. He must’ve run out of here and never stopped running.”

  “That’s not good.”

  “No, it isn’t, but Dru has an idea.”

  “Oh?” The lieu appeared out of thin air, facing him through the doorway.

  “Yeah. Tell her, Dru.”

  “Financial records, Lieu. We know he got paid for what he did, so we can check his bank accounts for—”

  “No. He’d have insisted on cash. Either that or his employers would have.”

  Dru’s face fell. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.�
��

  “What should we do, then?” asked Leery with a shrug and a sour look.

  “Oh, I don’t know… Try police work?”

  “Right.”

  Van Helsing chuckled, a warm, relaxed sound like the babbling of a brook. “I do have an idea for you.”

  “All ears, Lieu. All ears.”

  Epatha’s glowing face stretched with a smile. “Shuten-doji. He knows more than he told you. I’d bet on it.”

  “I don’t know, Lieu. I’ve known him for years now, and he’s been reliable as an informant.”

  “But I bet none of the cases he helped you on hurt him or his business. Am I right?”

  Leery shoved his hands in his pants pockets. “Well, yeah, but he—”

  “No, I think she’s right, Leery,” said Dru. “Something about that whole interview felt…off.”

  Leery’s gaze swung back and forth between them like Hinton’s pendulum, then he shrugged. “Then let’s go grab him up.”

  “Bring him back here,” said Van Helsing. “Put him in holding for an hour or two. I’ll see if I can arrange a suitable welcome.”

  “Oh, boy,” said Leery. “That sounds so ominous when you say it, Lieu.”

  “Bet your ass, Leery.”

  19

  John May stood in the holding cell, hands tight on the bars to either side of his face. His eyes burned with anger as Leery stepped away from the door. “Why are you doing this, Oriscoe?”

  “Come on, May. You know why.”

  “No, I don’t think I do.”

  “Why is it I have the feeling you haven’t been forthcoming with all that you know?”

  “Because you’re an idiot?”

  “Oh, now you’ve hurt my feelings, May. Didn’t your mother ever teach you this one: ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me?’”

  “Kutabare, koshinuke,” snarled May.

  “Come on, Shuten-doji. If you’re going to insult me, use a language I understand. It’s more fun that way.”

  May turned away. “Yakamashii, kusojijii.”

  “Right. Well, same to you, momzer.” Leery turned his back on the cell and grinned at Dru. “He’s upset.”

  “I gathered,” she said. “I wonder what the lieu’s ‘suitable welcome’ is.”

  “You and me, both. She’s got a wicked streak when it comes to things like this.”