by Jaime Reese
“How certain are you?”
“There was a log in on the Sunday of that weekend you came down. I know it wasn’t you.”
“How?”
“At the time of access, you were sitting in Serg’s chair getting your hair done talking about some fashion whatever thing.”
“Can you see what they accessed?”
“No. I’ve only got the summary reports Anthony sent over to me yesterday. He’s been banging his head for the last month trying to find the breach. If they’re in the system with your access, that’s likely why he couldn’t catch it. IT needs to isolate anything you’ve accessed so you can verify which transactions are actually yours.”
“I’ll call them now.”
“Sorry to ruin your private Sunday.”
Rachel’s sigh filtered through the phone line. “I was actually sleeping. Rafe and I broke up.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s fine. The attempt on my life upset him. Deep down, I’m a girl at heart who wants love and attention. Not anger and ultimatums.”
“Maybe it’s because he cared and got scared.”
“Then he should have said that. I need to make a few phone calls. Are you available later for a video conference?”
“Yeah. Just text me the time.” They said their goodbyes and disconnected the call.
Bull grabbed his keys from the dish on the side table and took the elevator down to the garage. He figured the call later would take a few hours while they assessed the damage of the breach, so he had to see Ben before he got tied up on that call.
He hopped into his SUV and pulled out of the garage. After their date last night, there was no way he was going a full day without seeing Ben. A video chat wouldn’t be enough. He hadn’t slept much last night, his mind revisiting every detail from their date.
And that kiss.
At the red light, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. Those kisses and the way Ben perfectly fit in his arms felt like heaven. But it was that moment by the game stand where everything had faded away. Everything but Ben and the plush bull he had picked as his prize.
He opened his eyes and stared up at the red traffic light.
It was a silly thing and likely hadn’t meant as much to Ben.
“When I miss you, I’ll still have my bull.”
He was certain they were teasing words. But he couldn’t deny how his heart furiously pounded when, for the first time, someone had chosen him over a sea of colorful options. A memento, a surrogate stuffed toy to hug when he wasn’t around. Not another warm body.
He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and blew out a shaky breath. He was falling so damn hard the landing was going to shatter his heart into a million pieces he wouldn’t be able to reassemble. He wanted Ben. He wanted those smiles and that happiness that called to him like a beacon. Everything about him was honest, kind, and heartfelt. And the way he put everyone else before himself was something of selfless saints.
Ben was resilient as hell and a master at disguising his pain. Bull suspected the years of practice had allowed him to hone that skill. Playing the shell game between being on his own, jumping from one foster home to another, and having friends who were anything but, all working together to thicken that armor he so cleverly wore. Regardless of how hard Ben had tried to hide it, he couldn’t hide the deep cut of pain from his sister’s rejection. Bull had seen it in the tears and heard it like a wailing scream from the barely audible sob that had escaped.
Bull swore he would never let anyone ever hurt Ben that way again. That was his goal, the new task at the top of his to-do list. He wanted that joy in those green eyes to not be tainted with a single fleck of pain. He wanted those smiles and that happiness to be one hundred percent real and unguarded.
Always.
And he wanted to stand at his side, embracing that extraordinary level of kindness and selflessness.
Forever.
A honking horn from the car behind him brought him back to reality. He looked up at the green light and shifted his mind back into gear as he drove through the intersection.
In a few minutes, he would be with Ben.
And he couldn’t wipe the silly grin off his face.
Bull rocked on the balls of his feet, waiting for someone to answer his knock at the back door of HH. He could have rung the doorbell, but that would have triggered the flashing lights in the house. The dorky romantic in him wanted to see the surprise on Ben’s face.
The back door swung open to a frowning Julian. “Why the knock?”
He shrugged. “Wanted to surprise Ben.”
“He’s in the kitchen.”
He squeezed by Julian and headed toward the kitchen, spotting Ben sitting in one of the chairs at the dinner table reading a newspaper. Bull crossed his arms and leaned against the entryway, enjoying the view.
Ben glanced up. His eyes rounded and a huge smile—the biggest Bull swore ever having seen—split Ben’s face. Ben stood and walked around the table toward him, throwing his arms around his neck.
Yeah, so worth the surprise.
Bull uncrossed his arms and held Ben in an embrace. He buried his nose in that dark hair, savoring every single second. Ben tipped his head up and smiled, his gaze wandering toward Bull’s lips. Bull didn’t need further prompting. He leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to Ben’s waiting lips.
“Can I get into my kitchen?” Julian grumbled. “Break it up.”
“Not a chance.” Still holding Ben, Bull shifted their bodies so Julian could shimmy by. Ben softly chuckled and rested his head on Bull’s shoulder, not making a single lick of effort to break free. Reluctantly, they separated from the embrace a few moments later. Ben took his hand and led them back to his seat at the table.
“What are you doing?” Bull signed. He had stopped voicing his words when signing. Ben had gotten better at asking for clarification when he didn’t understand something, and it seemed the practice had him signing with more confidence without falling back on his lipreading.
“Looking for a place for when I leave at the end of the month.”
“If you—”
Ben raised his hand to stop him before signing. “I know what you’re going to say.”
“Do you?” Bull signed, raising an eyebrow.
Ben nodded. “You want to help get me into a place. And I appreciate it. Julian, Matt, and Shaw have also offered. I really do appreciate it. But I need…” He stopped signing and chewed his lip. Reaching for his phone, he typed out a message.
Bull read over Ben’s shoulder, inhaling sharply, then quickly controlling his reaction. That one-word message could mean anything. Independence.
Ben deleted the word and was ready to type another. He glanced up at Bull, his eyes pleading. He looked away and exhaled a harsh breath as he set his phone aside. His little saint was pissed, likely frustrated. “It’s bad I don’t know what to sign for that word. But it’s worse that I don’t even know what word I want to use.”
Unclipping his own phone from the case, Bull called up the app and typed out a note. Even though Ben had become more confident and fast with his signing, getting stuck often set him back a few steps. Reverting to typing out notes seemed to ease his discomfort. Don’t worry about using the right word. Just explain it to me.
Ben picked up his phone again. His fingers hesitated for a few moments before he started typing. Natalie said she wants to meet with me tomorrow about keeping me on after the program, but we haven’t covered the details yet. Right now, I’m just looking at my options so I know what I can afford.
He glanced up at Bull, then returned to his note. I know she won’t be able to pay me much right now, but whatever she can pay, it’s going to be more than what I earn now. Once I know how much, I can figure out what I can do. But I need to feel as if…
He stopped typing and scowled. He blew out a heavy exhale—as if gathering his thoughts—then continued typing. It’s something I need to do
. Not something someone else is doing for me. I appreciate everyone offering to help put up the money, but I need to try first. I lived with six friends for free. But in the end, it wasn’t free.
Bull nodded. Those same friends had been the reason for both arrests.
Ben continued typing. And as much as it hurts, living with my sister didn’t work out. I was always the baby brother in her mind, the same guy who needed the extra help and got all the attention. I tried changing the way she saw me but she couldn’t. He glanced up at Bull and set his phone aside.
Ben held Bull’s face and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before he signed, “I don’t want that to happen to us. I don’t want you to see me as someone who needs help because he can’t do things on his own. And I absolutely don’t want you to feel sorry for me or be with me out of obligation. I want you to see me as an equal. As the man you’re with because you want to be with me.”
Now Bull was at a loss for words. Clips from their video chats flowed through his mind. Memories Ben had shared of time with his family, sister, and friends. The way Julian and Calvin always had a protective eye on him. The way Matt, Shaw, and even Natalie stood guard nearby and quickly stepped in before Ben had a chance to reach the finish line on his own.
“If I need the help, I’ll take it. But I want to try first. I know it sounds weird, but if I’m going to fall, then I need to fall. Because knowing how to get up is important.”
Bull nodded. “I understand,” he signed. “Now can I tell you what I was going to say before?”
Ben frowned. “Weren’t you going to offer to help me get into a place?”
Bull shook his head. “I was going to offer a place. With me.” Crap, he didn’t want Ben thinking he was pushing him faster than their current blue-balls pace. He quickly added, “I have a second bedroom. I’ve never done anything with it. If you want it, it’s yours.”
He wasn’t sure what to make of Ben’s stillness.
“I don’t want an answer now. You keep looking for a place. If you find one you like, then you’ll have more than one option. It’ll be your choice. No pressure. But know that once you leave here, you’ll have a place to go.”
“Thank you.” Ben leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
Bull nodded. He pointed to the different newspapers scattered on the table. “Do you want help going through the listings or do you prefer doing that on your own?”
The smile spread wide on Ben’s face. He gathered two of the thick newsprint tabloids, the ones Bull often found stacked at the local coffee shop and gas stations. “You can help me look through these.”
Bull thumbed through the pages until he reached the rental section. He grabbed one of the pens on the table and quieted the roar of protest echoing in his head. He wanted Ben to move in with him. But he had promised to help, and he would. He kept chanting that in his head as he tried focusing on each classified ad.
It wasn’t his fault every listing was total and absolute shit.
Especially since one of them could be the place Ben might call home.
Natalie glanced up from her sheet of paper and met Ben’s gaze as she signed, “I’ve spent the better part of the weekend crunching numbers. And this is the best I can do right now.”
“The best I can do” made it sound as if she were shortchanging him. In truth, it was far more than he had anticipated. With the bump up, he could raise his rental budget if he found a place nearby and could take the bus or a ride share to work.
“After a little more time, I’ll know if I can give you more.”
He shook his head. “This is good. Thank you.”
Now she was the one shaking her head. “You’re not understanding. Those cake slices you made sold out within the hour. For the first time, I have people asking if they can add a cake to their catering order. I don’t want you working for me, I want you working with me.”
Ben did what he did best…he stared.
And blinked.
These del Toros were going to kill him with kindness.
“Don’t look so shocked. You eat more desserts than any human should ever consume in their entire life. So you know how good your cake was. And the fact that they sold out so quickly is a big deal. Especially since people know I don’t usually have cake at the shop.”
He flicked the edge of the sheet of paper. His vision blurred as he stared at Natalie’s offer. The work program was a requirement, but temporary. While he had hoped, he definitely hadn’t expected it would become something more.
A soft hand on his forearm drew his attention. “You do know I’m not the patient one in the family. Right?”
He nodded.
“Yes, you know I’m not the patient one, or yes, you accept?”
He smiled. “Both.”
“Good. Now how about you start experimenting. Play with the flavors and colors. Anything you want. You’ve already seen what sells well here. Whatever you make, we can test them with the lunch crowd and then decide what goes on the menu.”
Natalie excused herself and headed to the storefront to tend to customers. Ben folded the offer letter and stuffed it into his back pocket for safekeeping. Finally alone, he took a few deep breaths to settle the jitters fluttering in his stomach. She had mentioned wanting him to stay on, but he hadn’t anticipated more than just a minor bump in pay. With the pay raise, benefits, and the chance for commissions with each catering agreement, it was far more than he had expected or could have hoped to receive.
He blew out a shaky breath, quelling the emotions bubbling to the surface. He itched to text Gabriel the news, but he didn’t want to risk waking him without knowing how late his business meeting had run. He could wait.
Sort of.
Right now, he had an entire book of recipes he wanted to test. Later, Julian would drive him to a few appointments to look at potential rentals he had marked.
For the first time, he felt grounded, steady. As if he were an active participant in his life and had some control over his destiny.
It was a heady feeling. One he would never take for granted.
= ♥ =
Bull visually swept the scene.
Pandemonium.
It was the only description that fit the chaos.
A parking spot in the alley behind the bakery hadn’t been available, so he had driven around toward the front. The bakery sat on a busy street at a main intersection with a park across the street often used for special-event photographs. He hadn’t thought much about having to park a block away. But it had never been like this.
“Excuse me,” he said, working his way through the crowd. Some people were nicer than others, and some downright refused to budge.
“I’ve been in line for five minutes. I don’t care how cute you think you are, you are not getting by me.”
He raised a brow and hid a smile at the older woman. With her high heels, she barely stood five feet tall, but it was her perfectly manicured gray hair and polished appearance that had him imagining her as the power person behind the scenes for some executive. He respected her firmness. There were far too many people who faked knowing someone closer to the front of lines to sneak in sooner. She looked familiar, likely someone he had seen during the lunch or morning rush. He glanced up, squinting at the bright afternoon sun. Standing out in this heat dressed in business attire couldn’t be comfortable.
“What’s so appealing to have you waiting in line for five minutes during the lunch rush?”
“One of the office workers said Natalie was giving out cake samples. I like her little pastries, so I thought…why not try the cake? Besides, who says no to cake?” She peeked at her watch. “I thought I could take a short walk here, grab the sample, and then window shop for the rest of my lunch. I thought it might be a little busy, but I didn’t expect this.”
Likely, neither had his sister.
“So you’ve been here before?”
“Every Tuesday and Thursday. Other days are tougher to escape the office.”
He bent his arm and angled out his elbow to her. “C’mon. Nat’s my sister. Let’s get out of this heat and get you your cake sample.”
She rested her small hand in the crook of his arm. After squeezing their way to the front of the line, he saw one of the small corner tables emptying out. “Take a seat there, please.” He was thankful she didn’t argue with him.
Rounding, he immediately spotted his sister, flustered by a mix of both paying customers and those wanting to get a free sample. He stalked over to her and ducked under the divider and back behind the counter.
“Nat?” He didn’t need to say anything more. What the hell were you thinking? was on the tip of his tongue, but her frazzled look urged him not to push her off the deep end.
“Obviously, I screwed up. Please don’t beat me up right now. Ben is baking as fast as he can, and I’m trying to handle everything here. I need help. I can’t…” She swiped her forearm against her forehead. “Just help me. Yell at me later.”
One thing he respected about his sister was her steadiness. She rarely, if ever, asked for help. And she was obviously drowning.
He surveyed his surroundings. She was trying to ring up paying customers while plating samples of thin cake slices. “Do you have those small inch-high paper cups?”
She quickly nodded.
“Get those. If you hand out full slices like this, you won’t have enough. The line wraps around the corner.”
She blanched. “What?”
“Check on Ben and grab those cups.” The moment she darted toward the back, the crowd rumbled in protest. He aimed his next words to the shop full of patrons. “I know some of you are waiting for samples, so I want to split the line up to make things easier. If you’re here to try out our new cake flavors, thanks for giving us a taste. If you’re here to buy some of Nat’s awesome pastries with fancy names I can’t pronounce, please stand over here.” He gestured to his right as the crowd chuckled.
Natalie returned with her arms full of small cup packages.
“Handle the paying customers, I’ll work the sample line.” He grabbed two of the trays from the cabinet and nudged his sister toward the shorter line of paying customers.