THE TRUE LOVE SERIES BOX SET: A Christian Romance

by Duncan, Juliette

  "I can help. We might be in the same classes." Keith took the paper and studied it, then shook his head and shrugged. "Nope. You're in tenth grade. I'm in twelfth. Looks like your first class is Biology, though. Maybe we can find a teacher around here who can help you."

  "Hey, Keith." A tall brunette in a cheerleader outfit bounced up beside him and linked her arm into Keith’s.

  "Hey, Lori." Keith’s face lit up as Lori kissed his cheek.

  She tilted her head and looked Jayden’s way. "Who's this?"

  "Jayden. He's new.”

  If only the floor would open up and swallow him. "Hi." Jayden gulped. He wasn’t used to talking with girls. Well, not girls that looked like Lori.

  "Why are you talking like that?" Lori asked.

  "Like what?"

  Lori screwed up her nose and tapped her chin with a finger. "I don't know. You sound kind of nasally. Oh, wait...you must be British."

  "No, I'm from Australia." Jayden jerked his head up. How could she even think he was British?

  Lori laughed. "My bad. I'm always getting those two mixed up. But Australia's a totally cool place. My parents and I went to Sydney for vacation last year, and we loved it. I bet you're a bit homesick being so far away, but Florida’s pretty cool too. You'll get used to it after a while."

  Just then the bell rang and students started disappearing into the various classrooms. "Oh, well, we better get going," Keith said. "It was nice meeting you, Jayden. Maybe we can meet up at lunch."

  "Later." Lori waved as she tucked her arm tighter into Keith’s.

  Jayden gazed longingly after them as they moved off down the hall together, Keith spinning the basketball on his index finger and Lori hanging off his arm. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he was feeling homesick. The week he’d spent with Mum had been fun, but he was missing his friends, especially Neil. And just that morning, Dad had called again and he’d been tempted to pick up, but Mum had been nearby, and he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Dad seemed to be getting more agitated though. How many Facebook messages and emails had he sent? Jayden had lost count. He’d have to reply soon, but what would he say?

  Sighing heavily, Jayden looked for someone to give him directions. He selected a man dressed in a suit and asked him where the tenth grade Biology class was. The man pointed him in the right direction, and in a few minutes Jayden arrived outside a door that read ‘Mr. Miller - Biology, Sophomore Hall’. Pausing a moment, Jayden took a deep breath to steady himself before slipping inside the room. The other students were already in place and Mr. Miller had just started going over preliminaries.

  Everyone looked up. Once again, Jayden wished the floor would open up. "Sorry I'm late." He was very aware of his accent now Lori had commented on it.

  "That's fine." Mr. Miller had a deep voice and boomed every word. "You must be Jayden. Come on in. Put your bag over there and take the empty seat in the third row."

  "Thanks." Jayden nodded and did as he was told. He pulled out his textbook for that class and took his seat. It was going to be a long day.

  At lunch, Jayden looked around for Keith and eventually spotted him sitting at a table with Lori and a group of other boys and girls who all seemed to be basketball players or cheerleaders. All in twelfth grade. Maybe he should sit with someone in his own grade. He was about to walk away when Keith stood and waved him over.

  "This is Jayden, everyone." Keith introduced him to the others.

  "He's from Australia." Lori sounded as if she was announcing a popular rock star.

  Keith pulled Jayden closer until his mouth was near Jayden’s ear. "Sophomores don't normally sit with seniors, but since it's your first day, you can sit with us. But you’ll need to sit with your own crew tomorrow. Got it?"

  Jayden nodded. He should have just sat by himself.

  "Do you play?" a boy with cropped black hair and a gold chain around his neck asked.

  "Play what?"

  The boy gave him a strange look as if he was stupid. "Basketball, of course."

  Jayden shook his head. "I play rugby."

  "You're not in Aussie anymore, dude.” Keith said.

  "What's rugby?" Lori leaned forward.

  "It's supposed to be some type of football, but they play it all wrong," the boy with the dark cropped hair said.

  The boy attempted to explain the game to Lori, but got it all wrong. Jayden had a mind to tell the boy he didn't know what he was talking about, but kept his mouth shut. No use getting into an argument on his first day, especially with a senior.

  Jayden’s phone rang. His shoulders slumped. Not Dad again. He pulled it from his pocket and the corners of his mouth quirked up. Not Dad. Neil.

  “Gotta take this, sorry.” He stood and left the table. He quickly found the bathroom and locked himself into a stall.

  "Jayden," Neil said as his blurry face came into view on Jayden's phone screen. "How are you doing?"

  Tears stung Jayden's eyes. He quickly wiped them away. "Not bad. What about you?"

  "Not bad, either. It's four in the morning and I should be sleeping. Mum doesn't know I'm awake so I can't talk too loud. What are you doing?"

  "I'm at school." Jayden lowered his voice as well.

  "Oh." Neil was quiet for a few moments. "What’s it like?"

  "I don't know anyone. It’s all different, and so far I don’t like it."

  "When are you coming back home?"

  Jayden was silent. He shrugged. "I don't know."

  "Come back soon. I really miss you, Jayden. It’s not the same without you here."

  The bell rang. “I have to go, Neil. Sorry.”

  "No problem, I’ll call back later." Neil pulled one of his funny faces until the screen went blank.

  Jayden closed his eyes and squeezed back the tears that were threatening to fall. He was fifteen, for goodness’ sake. He shouldn’t be crying. What would Keith and the others think if they saw him? But the pain in his heart was heavy, and seeing Neil just made it worse. Maybe he should go home.

  The second warning bell sounded. Wiping his face with his sleeve, he slipped his phone into his pocket before heading back to class.

  The rest of the day passed slowly, as did the rest of the week. After surviving his first five days at Miranda High, Jayden was more than happy to see the weekend. He slept two extra hours on Saturday morning before shuffling into the kitchen to get something to eat. Mum was already awake and sitting at the counter with a cup of hot tea. She looked up from the laptop open in front of her and gave him one of her bright smiles.

  "Any plans for today?" Jayden pulled a box of cereal out of the cupboard and sat at the breakfast bar. If there weren’t any, he'd take the jet ski out again since Mum hadn’t made any plans for the sailing lessons—nor the driving lessons. Had she forgotten?

  Mum’s eyes were on him. "What would you like to do?" She put her mug of tea down and leaned closer. "Is everything okay, Jay?"

  Jayden glanced up. "Yeah, everything’s fine.” He let out a heavy sigh as he placed a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. Milk dripped down his chin, and he wiped it with his hand. "So, no special plans for the weekend?" Jayden continued with his original question.

  "Not really. We could go to the movies tomorrow, but right now, I'm just checking into a few things."

  "Like what?" He tilted his head.

  She shrugged and turned the screen away from him. “Nothing important.”

  Jayden narrowed his eyes. What was she working on? And why did he get the feeling something was wrong?

  “Go and have some fun, Jay. We'll go to the movies tomorrow."

  "I'll take the jet ski out again." Jayden placed his empty bowl into the dishwasher and left the kitchen.

  Chapter 6

  A soft knock sounded on the door of Ben’s office in downtown Brisbane. Although his was a corner office, half enclosed in glass windows with a striking view of the Brisbane River and the Story Bridge, these days he rarely noticed it. Straightening in his leather
chair, Ben glanced at the clock. Where had the afternoon gone? He let out a deep sigh and saved his work before turning to the door.

  "Come in." Even to him, his voice sounded tired and strained.

  Walton stuck his head inside the door. "I'm calling it a day, mate. You should too."

  Ben rubbed the back of his neck and met Walton’s gaze. "I’ve still got a few numbers to crunch, Walt. Think I'll be working late again."

  "This is the fifth straight day you've worked overtime. You should go home." Walton’s expression grew serious. “Tessa needs you.”

  Ben leaned back in his chair and looked out the window. The sky, awash with pinks and oranges, was darkening quickly. Yes, he should go home. He didn’t really need to be at work, but being at home made him think about Jayden. And the more he thought about Jayden, the more depressed he became. The house was so quiet these days. As much as he hated Jayden’s loud music, what he’d give now to hear it when he arrived home. To hear Jayden laughing in the backyard with the dogs, even to see his mess scattered through the house. He let out another deep sigh as he swivelled around slowly to face Walton.

  "Yes, I know. I’ll go shortly.”

  Walton narrowed his eyes. “Make sure you do. I know what you’re like. See you Monday.” He gave a short nod and left the room.

  As Walton’s footsteps receded, Ben slumped onto his desk, placing his head on his crossed forearms. A wave of numbing sadness washed over him. He’d done everything wrong. Jayden's decision to leave was totally his fault, and he was drowning under the weight of guilt and despair. He swallowed hard as the pain in his heart grew heavier. God, please bring Jayden back. I’m sorry for everything. I can’t handle this much longer.

  Ben’s phone rang. He drew in a deep breath and raised his head. It would be Tessa.

  "Where are you, Ben? I've cooked dinner and I've been waiting for almost an hour."

  He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He needed to go home. To Tessa. "I'm sorry, Tess, I’ll come now.”

  As he stood, Ben glanced out the window. On the street below, a man and a boy of about ten years old were leaving a sweet shop. As they walked hand in hand down the sidewalk to their car, tears pricked Ben's eyes. If only he could wind the clock back.

  On his way home, he stopped at a florist and bought a bunch of flowers. Just as well, because when he arrived home, Tessa stood in the doorway with her arms folded and her lips pinched.

  He grimaced. He hated seeing her upset. And it was all his fault. He stepped out of the car and moved towards her, flowers in hand. “Tess, I’m so sorry.” Tears pricked his eyes as her expression softened and she held out her arms and pulled him towards her.

  “It’s okay. Just don’t shut me out. Please?” She lifted her hand and slipped it behind his neck, drawing his face closer to hers. Her eyes, only inches from his, reflected the pain he was feeling. “We’ll get through this. I know we will.”

  He squeezed back his tears as he took her face gently in his hands. “I hope so.” He lowered his mouth and kissed her slowly and tenderly. “I love you.” His voice was little more than a trembling whisper as his heart beat with love for his beautiful wife.

  * * *

  After dinner, Tessa suggested they take the dogs for a walk. To her surprise, Ben agreed. But when Sunday morning came and he said he didn’t feel like going to church, her new found hope that he was pulling himself out of his depression slipped away.

  She sat down on the bed and leaned over him, propping herself on one elbow as she ran her fingers playfully along his jaw. "Won’t you come with me? Please?”

  "Not today." Ben pushed himself up on the pillows. Dark circles hung under his eyes. "I'm sorry, but I just don’t feel like going.” He drew in a slow breath. “I can’t face everyone again.”

  “Oh Ben. No-one’s judging.”

  “That’s what you think.”

  “If they are, that’s their problem. They just care, that’s all.”

  He raised a brow. “Really? If they cared, why do I feel we’re being stared at all the time?”

  Tessa exhaled slowly. “They’re not staring. Most people don’t even know what’s happened. As far as they’re concerned, Jayden’s just gone to live with his mother.”

  Ben shook his head. “I still feel I’m being judged.” He stroked her face and looked into her eyes. "I'm not losing my faith, if that's what you're thinking. And I'm not questioning God. Well... maybe a little. But I just can’t face all those people at the moment with their happy families."

  With a heavy heart, Tessa sighed as she rested her head against his chest and gently caressed his arm. If only he’d let his walls down and allow people to minister to him rather than thinking they were judging him. After a short while, she tilted her head. “It’s okay. I’ll go on my own.”

  When Tessa returned from church a few hours later, Ben was in the kitchen making sandwiches. She set her purse and Bible down on a nearby chair and draped her arm across his shoulder as she kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Feeling better, sweetie?" She squeezed his shoulder, and her heart warmed when he turned and kissed her.

  "A little." His voice was still tinged with sadness, but any improvement was better than none.

  She filled two glasses with ice and grabbed a jug of juice from the fridge. "The sandwiches look great.”

  The corners of Ben’s mouth lifted slightly. “Thought I’d do something useful while you were out."

  "Thank you." She smiled warmly at him before carrying the glasses to the outdoor table.

  "This is nice. We need to do it more often."

  Ben lifted his face and squeezed her hand. The dark circles still sat under his eyes, and she didn’t like the deep furrow that had formed on his forehead. Her heart ached for him as she held his gaze. God, only You can heal broken hearts. Please heal Ben’s.

  “It still doesn’t feel right without Jayden here.” Ben turned his head away, fixing his gaze on Jayden’s bike sitting in the rack to the side of the deck.

  She took his hand. “I know, but we can't change what’s happened.”

  As Ben turned to face her, his eyes glistened. “If only I’d done things differently.”

  “Stop blaming yourself, Ben. It’s not helping. We have to be strong together, and in God, and we’ll get through it.”

  “I don’t know how to get through it, that’s the problem. It’s so easy to say we have to trust God,” he paused, “but this cloud’s hovering over me, and it doesn’t want to lift, regardless of what I do.”

  She wrapped her arms around his shoulder. “You poor thing. I can’t even begin to imagine how you’re feeling.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek and wiped away the tears rolling down his cheek with her fingers. “Pastor Fraser referred to a verse this morning which spoke to my heart. It was Matthew 11, verse 29.” She straightened a little. “You know the verse, Ben. ‘Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.’” She squeezed his hand. “That’s what we need. Rest for our souls. We need to pray more, and read the Bible together like we did before all this happened. Let God transform our hearts and our minds. He can give us peace in our hearts in the midst of all this.”

  Ben drew in a slow breath. “I don’t know if it’s as simple as that. I agree we should pray more, and read the Word more. But you know I’m prone to depression, and I think it’s got me again.”

  Tears pricked Tessa’s eyes. Hearing Ben admit this was unexpected, but he was right. He needed help, professional help, and it was wrong of her to simplify the solution. It was so easy for Christians, including herself, who’d never suffered from depression, to gloss over its effects and suggest the person should just be more spiritual.

  “Maybe you should see your doctor?”

  “Yes, I think so.”

  She met his gaze and a moment of silence passed between them. “Can I pray?”

  Ben nodded, giving her a wistful smile.

&n
bsp; She placed her arm on his shoulder and held his hand. “Dear Heavenly Father, You know our hearts are breaking, and we feel at such a loss. Lord God, I pray that You’ll help us to get through this, and that You’ll wrap Ben in Your loving arms and give him peace. Please give the doctor wisdom to know how to treat him, and please be with Jayden. Look after him, Lord God, and please bring him back to us soon. Thank You for Your love. You only want the best for us, Lord, and we’re sorry for not trusting You enough, and for carrying the blame for what’s happened when we know we can’t change it. Lord, please forgive us and take us by the hand as we continue on this journey that’s been threatening to tear us apart. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

  “Amen.” Ben swiped tears from his eyes as he lifted his head. “Thank you.”

  Tessa smiled broadly at him. “We’ll get through this, and we’ll come out the other side as better people. I know we will.”

  * * *

  Dr. Stewart had been Ben's personal physician for ten years. An even-tempered elderly man with a steady heart, he held genuine concern for his patients. After giving Ben a physical exam the next day, he said there was nothing physically wrong with him.

  Ben knew that.

  Dr. Stewart placed Ben’s medical folder on his desk, leaned back in his swivel chair and folded his arms. "But something’s bothering you.”

  Ben lowered his head and fidgeted with his hands. Why was it so hard to talk about it? Easier just to pretend nothing was wrong, but could he really continue living with this cloud hovering over him, day in and day out? Tessa’s prayer had touched his heart, and he wished it was just as simple as she’d initially suggested. Why couldn’t God just lift the cloud from him? How often in the past had he heard that Christians shouldn’t suffer from depression? But he knew better than to question God. Depression was a mental illness, and as horrible as it sounded, it was real, and he needed treatment.

  He drew a breath and lifted his head, holding the doctor’s gaze for several seconds. “I think my depression’s back.”