Those Who Wait

by Haley Cass

  She wondered if Sutton could tell – because Sutton could read her more than most people could at this point.

  When her own tired and heavy eyes made contact with Sutton’s imploring ones, she didn’t put up a verbal hesitation before walking back to the couch and standing in front of Sutton for a moment.

  Her hands balled on her hips for a moment as she looked up at Sutton, who gave her a look of questioning amusement back. “I’ll lay down . . . if you’ll go over my debate notes with me. It would be nice to be able to talk to you about them.”

  Blue eyes narrowed at her, before rolling as Sutton relented, “Fine. If you lay down, and eat something, I’ll go over your notes.”

  Feeling victorious, despite the way her stomach rolled a bit at the idea of food, Charlotte smirked. “Deal.”

  As she climbed into the little blanket nest Sutton had created on the couch, resting her head on the pillows, she supposed that showing this bit of weakness in front of Sutton wasn’t all that bad. It wasn’t as though Sutton was one of the women she’d hooked up with in the past, who Charlotte would have outright refused to spend time with like this.

  It was Sutton, who wasn’t looking at her with any sort of disgust regardless of how unsightly Charlotte was sure she looked.

  Sutton, who tucked the blanket in around her in a way that was snug but not too snug; it was comfortable enough that Charlotte felt like her body was melting into the couch in relaxation only moments after laying down.

  “I’m going to make some tea and get something easy for your stomach,” Sutton informed her quietly as she smoothed the blanket over Charlotte, and her touch over the blankets made a warm, solid, persistent feeling settle in Charlotte’s chest. Different from the lust and attraction she typically felt with her.

  It was that feeling that prompted Charlotte’s words co come out in a slightly drowsy whisper, “You’re good at this.”

  Sutton leaned in just enough to press her cool hand against Charlotte’s forehead and smooth back some of her hair. “It’s not hard.”

  She begged to differ but wasn’t up to the argument at the moment.

  The way Sutton’s thumb stroked over her cheek and lingered was soothing in a way Charlotte hadn’t felt in days, and her mind stopped feeling like it had to run a mile a minute. Instead, it was easy for her to slip her eyes closed as Sutton gently moved her hand and padded into the kitchen.

  She would just rest her eyes a bit while Sutton figured out what she deigned would be easy on Charlotte’s stomach. Then she would go back to her debate prep, and hopefully gain some new insight, because she trusted Sutton’s opinion.

  She even had a list of topics she’d thought to ask Sutton’s opinion on that she’d compiled over the last few days. Yes, she would just rest her eyes for a few moments first.

  ***

  When she opened her eyes again, she didn’t have immediate access to a clock, but she knew that it had been more than “a few moments” that had passed.

  She knew because while she was still tired – she could probably go back to sleep and sleep through the night – she didn’t feel that same bone-deep sleepiness that she’d felt all day earlier. And, if she’d been honest, a little bit the day before, too. She knew because her eyes weren’t burning as she blinked them open, as though they were begging to close again. She knew because everything she’d been feeling before – the small aches and pains – were still there, but dulled down a bit.

  Dulled down enough for her to instinctively know that she had gotten some rest for the first time in days.

  She also knew that some time had passed because instead of a pillow under her head, there was a thigh. Soft and warm and smelling nice. Like Sutton. She was facing the television, which was off, but she heard soft music coming from somewhere.

  As her vision cleared from cloudy grogginess, she could see that all of the debate prep work she’d had laid out all over the coffee table was organized into piles in the corner, instead of the spread-out way she’d had it. And she registered that long, gentle fingers were combing through her hair.

  It was intimate was her first thought and her heart beat a moment too fast at the realization that Sutton was here and Charlotte was sleeping in her lap like this. But, then again, Sutton was someone who took care of other people naturally. Something like this for her while Charlotte hadn’t been feeling well was second nature.

  Beyond that, they’d shared a bed to sleep, while both being naked. Granted, those were designated sleeping-together nights, whereas this clearly wasn’t. But it was comfortable, Charlotte decided, and it would be entirely unnecessary for her to dig around it too much when it could just be simple.

  With a sigh, she turned slightly. Sutton’s fingers stilled in her hair as Charlotte rested the back of her head there and blinked up at Sutton, who was haloed slightly from the lamp next to the couch. Red hair was both muted and highlighted, and the effect was almost dizzying.

  Sutton smiled down at her, placing her phone on the table. Charlotte realized that was where the soft music was coming from, and it continued to play even as Sutton tilted her head, eyes wide and imploring as she asked, “Are you feeling better? You look a little better.”

  “A little sleep apparently was what the doctor ordered,” she replied, letting out a small sigh before her eyebrow wrinkled in question. “What time is it?”

  Sutton bit her lip before she flickered her eyes to Charlotte’s stacks of paperwork on the table. “Um, it’s almost ten.”

  Charlotte almost wanted to lament about the time that she’d lost, but it was difficult to do when her body felt more relaxed than it had in days. Still, she frowned and made herself sit up, despite the fact that the voice in the back of her mind was telling her that she didn’t really want to.

  “You didn’t have to stay for so long,” she admonished, quirking an eyebrow at Sutton.

  Who shifted slightly, just enough to face Charlotte, and their knees pressed together. Sutton gave her a look that she somewhat recognized as one Sutton would sometimes give Regan. “Don’t be ridiculous; I wasn’t just going to leave you here while you were passed out.”

  “I suppose you did make a comfortable pillow,” she teased and enjoyed with Sutton flushed. She took a moment to enjoy that slightly red tint on her face before she trailed her eyes over Sutton, noting that the jacket she’d still been wearing when Charlotte had fallen asleep was gone, revealing the soft blue sweater that her cheek had been rubbing against. On the table next to Sutton was her promised cup of tea and a box of crackers, and Charlotte couldn’t help but quirk a grin. “You found something for me to eat I suppose.”

  Sutton followed her gaze for a moment, turning her head to look at the table next to her before she smiled sheepishly. “Well, I drank the tea while you slept. I could make more! If you wanted. You also had some soup, but when I came in to ask you what kind you wanted, you were asleep. And –” She cut herself off, biting her lip as she played with the ends of her braid.

  Curious, because Sutton did not have that great of a poker face and Charlotte could tell there was something else there, she pushed, “And . . .?”

  Sutton shook her head quickly and her eyes dropped to her lap before she took a deep breath and murmured, “And, well, I know you enjoy coming off as perfect, but you’re still human. So, I couldn’t just leave you here like that.”

  There was more to it than that, she could tell. But she let it go, for now, and dropped her mouth in mock-offense. “You’re saying I’m not perfect, then?”

  “Pretty close,” Sutton tossed back and even though she was nudging Charlotte’s leg with her own in a teasing way, she could hear the sincerity in her voice.

  It made her stomach twist in that way, that Sutton way that made Charlotte feel good but also scared. And it was that feeling that reminded her of the invitation from earlier.

  With a deep breath, she trained her eyes on Sutton’s face and kept her voice deliberately light as she asked, “Sutton . . . di
d you invite me to your family’s New Year’s Eve party?”

  Charlotte knew her answer as soon as Sutton’s hand that was playing lightly with her hair froze and her face scrunched into a confused frown. “No? Are – did you get an invitation?”

  Charlotte hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Earlier today,” she explained. And she wasn’t sure if it made her feel better or worse that Sutton wasn’t the one behind the invite. Better, she supposed, because it meant there were no . . . lines being blurred there. Worse, because it most definitely came from someone in her family, then.

  Sutton’s perfect teeth dug into her bottom lip and her eyes flickered around the room for a moment before those baby blues locked onto Charlotte’s, imploring, “Are . . . well, you don’t have to come, if you don’t want to.” She let out a quiet, flustered laugh. “I just mean – you know, a lot of politicians get invited. And you met my dad a few months ago and all.”

  She watched the way Sutton’s fingers tugged at the hem of her sweater for a few moments, before she thought of her grandmother’s words from earlier. “Exactly; I figured that I would go, make some connections. You don’t mind?” She ran her eyes over Sutton’s face, looking for a sign that Sutton might not want her to meet her family.

  She clearly wasn’t going there as someone involved with Sutton, but still. Sutton was only newly out to her family, and Charlotte wasn’t even sure if it was her entire family yet or not. She might not want the friend she was sleeping with there.

  But Sutton released her bottom lip and shrugged. “No, it’s okay; you should come. It’ll be good for your campaign . . . and for you to experience some true cold,” she finished with another nudge to Charlotte’s leg.

  And even though there was still this unease inside of her, she couldn’t not chuckle even as she rolled her eyes. “All right, brat, we’ll see just how tough you are then, won’t we? When do you leave?”

  “Tomorrow morning,” Sutton sighed slightly. “Driving back with Regan and Alex in the same car for hours is never fun.” Charlotte could imagine. Sutton continued, “I was finishing up packing earlier and that’s when I realized that I still had your Christmas gift. That’s why I came over, actually.”

  Charlotte sat up a bit straighter, only now thinking about the giftbag Sutton had when she’d first arrived. “You got me a gift?”

  Sutton swallowed visibly and shrugged. “It’s nothing really big. I mean, I get them for all of my friends for the holidays,” she was quick to add on. “I just – well, I thought you’d like it.”

  There was an excitement to her, though, and Charlotte saw it in the energy she had as she quickly hopped up from the couch. She tracked Sutton with her eyes, watching her walk into the kitchen to where, Charlotte supposed, she’d left the gift.

  After a few moments of debating with herself, she pushed herself up too. Walking to the closet right off from the living room, where she stored all of her Christmas gifts, she pulled down a small box right in the front. It had been a split-second decision, buying Sutton a present. It wasn’t as though she was averse to the idea of exchanging gifts; Sutton was her best friend. And when she’d been walking around the mall with Caleb a few weeks ago at her brother’s insistence, Charlotte had seen something that just . . . reminded her of Sutton.

  Her hesitation only came a bit once she’d gotten home and wrapped it. Because maybe there were some small lines blurring between herself and Sutton. It was just some small things, though, and nothing that she felt was done consciously. They mostly followed Sutton’s written guidelines, even if things sometimes didn’t seem so easily clear-cut.

  And during the moments Charlotte let herself really think about it – which was not often – she realized she wasn’t only worried about lines blurring for Sutton, but also for herself. Which was something she’d never had to worry about before with anyone else.

  It was unsettling.

  The small wrapped box was in her hand as she sat back on the couch, curling her legs under herself on that small nest of blankets. Her eyebrows were furrowed in thought when Sutton came back to the room.

  Her eyes lit up, that irresistible blue brightening as she waved the giftbag back and forth a bit, and that unsettling feeling faded. It just . . . it was difficult to focus on when she had Sutton grinning at her so brightly, even though her fingers tightened a little on the box in her hand.

  Sutton’s eyes latched onto it, and her whole face lit up in a way that was impossible not to smile at. “You got me something too? Even though I didn’t tell you I got you something?”

  Uncharacteristically self-conscious, Charlotte resisted the want to rub at the back of her neck. “It’s just something small. Here.”

  She offered it to Sutton who took the small box with reverence, a glow in her cheeks, and excitement in her eyes. She looked from Charlotte’s face to the small box that she was now moving her fingers over once, then twice, before Charlotte sighed and urged, “Open it.”

  Open it before she could let herself feel strange about the gift again.

  Sutton’s nimble fingers shifted the box open, revealing the earrings inside. They’d caught her eye as she and Caleb had passed a jeweler, and she couldn’t help but be drawn to them. Because the blue of the sapphires perfectly matched Sutton’s eyes, uncannily so. The gems were tear-shaped and fell from a diamond-studded white gold twisting design. She imagined the way the white gold would reflect in that red hair, just knowing it would be enchanting. They were elegantly beautiful. Understated, and stylish.

  They reminded her of Sutton.

  Then the smile on Sutton’s face disappeared into more of a slack-jawed expression, and it made Charlotte’s stomach drop.

  “Charlotte – I . . . you . . .” Sutton trailed off, her voice light and full of wonder, matching the look on her face as she held Charlotte’s gaze, a question in her eyes. A disbelieving laugh left her throat as she shook her head. “I can’t – these must have cost a fortune. I can’t . . .”

  But her fingers gently stroked over the earrings, and the fact that Sutton was marveling over them in such a way gave Charlotte a heavy feeling of satisfaction. “So you like them?”

  A job well done always made Charlotte feel accomplished, and she was finding that the way Sutton’s breath left her quickly with a breathless chuckle made her feel headily so.

  “I – of course I love them. But I can’t accept them.” She tore her eyes from the jewelry and regretfully met Charlotte’s gaze in a look that was a transparent melding of sadness and guilt.

  Charlotte was having none of it, as she reached out and gently but firmly closed the lid on the box and put her hand over Sutton’s to press it toward her. “You can and you will. They’ll look perfect on you, darling, and it’s a holiday gift. Frankly, not accepting it is the rudest thing you could do to me.”

  “But . . . the price – mine . . . I mean, you’ll see in a minute, but it’s not nearly as extravagant as these are,” Sutton feebly resisted, but Charlotte could hear that her heart wasn’t in it, even as her fingers tightened around the earrings.

  She didn’t know if she’d ever felt quite so proud of herself over a gift before. Though, granted, she always had been good at reading people.

  Having to clear her throat, her voice just a little scratchy still, Charlotte stroked her fingers down over Sutton’s knee for a moment and gave her a wink that worked far better than the one she’d tried a few hours ago. “A pretty girl like you deserves pretty jewelry.”

  Sutton rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop a wide grin even as she carefully placed the earrings on the table, as if she was afraid to damage them by being too rough. “They’re beautiful; thank you so much, I . . .” She trailed off again, this time with a sigh, and Charlotte didn’t miss the way Sutton’s gaze fell to her mouth for a moment, before she looked away.

  Looked away just in time for Charlotte to feel herself shiver a bit and lick her lips. She knew that Sutton wanted to kiss her; she recognized that look. But –
tonight was a friend time, not a benefit time.

  The thought was gone a moment later when Sutton reached down to grab at the gift bag and presented Charlotte with it, a small frown on her face. “I wish I had given you mine first.”

  Charlotte rolled her eyes and scoffed, “Enough with that; I’m going to love it.” And oddly, Charlotte had the feeling that she might like whatever it was that Sutton would give her, even if it wasn’t a gift she necessarily wanted.

  Sutton worried at her lip again before offering Charlotte the bag. “There are two things in there.”

  Accepting the words with a nod, she took out the tissue paper before clasping the first object. She pulled it out, finding a container of seeds. She was already pulling them closer, to identify them, as Sutton explained, “I – well, we were talking about flowers a little while back, and you told me about all of the ones you loved to grow when you were a kid. I, well, have never had these –”

  “Gardenias,” Charlotte finished for her, and she continued to examine the seeds. She remembered that conversation with Sutton, and it was a typical feeling for her to miss all of the gardens her parents had at their home. How she hadn’t seen anything here that could compare. “My favorite.”

  Sutton beamed. “I remember.” Clearing her throat, she shook her head and scooted closer. “Anyway, a few weeks ago, I got the number for my parents’ groundskeeper, and she sent me what she said are the best seeds and some instructions on how to best make them grow here this winter.”

  Charlotte was already thinking about where she should put them. It had been a while, too long, since she’d really done any gardening. Even something small, like for these flowers.

  Coming back to herself, she shook her head and aimed a look at Sutton. “How could you possibly think I wouldn’t enjoy these?” Her smile was large enough that it made her cheeks hurt a bit, because Sutton was just so . . .

  Sutton shrugged, her eyes falling back on the earrings on the table. “I mean, they’re seeds. Compared to – you know.” But before Charlotte could reassure her, and she actually would mean it, Sutton shook her head, and that excitement from earlier came back a bit. “But, look at the next thing. Please.”