Unfinished business – it didn't all have to be unpleasant.
Chapter 27
MARLA CHECKED THE BABY monitor for the third time to make sure it was on. Satisfied that Gracie was sound asleep and that she'd be able to hear her if she woke up, she took her glass of wine to the living room, turned on the TV and let the sound of the evening news drone on in the background.
She'd never been much of a news watcher, but Gunner liked to watch the evening news, and it had become routine to have it on at 6:30 if he was home.
Home. The word brought tears to her eyes. For a few short months, she'd had everything she ever wanted in life: a healthy child with a man she loved, and a satisfying career that gave her all the flexibility she needed. It had all been perfect. Or so she wanted to believe.
She'd always known that Gunner still had feelings for his ex-wife. But she had hoped that he would come around, especially as his ex had divorced him so quickly and apparently moved on. There had been no contact between them – at least none that Marla knew of – and she had looked. She had checked his phone for calls. And, she'd even hacked his email. She hated herself for doing it, but she didn't feel like she had any other choice.
No woman would let a man like Gunner go without a fight, right? She sure as hell wouldn't! So to find nothing – no kind of contact at all beyond their respective divorce lawyers and a couple of innocent emails about returning personal items – had been a surprise. A pleasant surprise. Or should have been.
In reality, it had scared her even more.
"THE EVENING NEWS GUNNER? Ever heard of CNN?"
"I watch that too," he said.
"Double dipping on your news sources. You get the same coverage, only much more in-depth from CNN. The evening news is only 30 minutes. It barely scratches the surface," Marla laughed.
"My parents watched the evening news. It's what I grew up watching, so maybe I'm just old school. Just because something is new doesn't mean it's better. There's a comfort in familiarity," he said.
MARLA REMEMBERED THINKING, ‘Like your relationship with your ex-wife.' She was apparently new CNN, while Bria was his preferred comfort of the CBS Evening News.
It made her wonder what kind of woman gives up a man like Gunner Michaels so easily? What was she like? What made her tick? And more importantly, what was it about her that made Gunner tick? That's what had drove her to seek Bria out.
Only, she wasn't sure it had done any good. In fact, it may have done more harm than good. Did Bria want Gunner back? She couldn't shake the very real possibility.
She and Gunner had barely lived together for four months, before he moved out. That was two months ago. Maybe they had moved in together too quickly after his divorce. It had been one of her biggest fears. Nowadays he stopped by to see Gracie, but that was it. Things were cordial. "Too damn cordial," she murmured to the empty living room. Her thinking was that if she gave him some time, he'd come back. But after her meeting with Bria, she wasn't so sure about anything anymore.
Marla glanced at the baby monitor, relieved that her daughter was still sleeping peacefully. She loved being a mother, but craved someone to talk to; an adult who could understand and sympathize with her problems.
Maybe Gunner was never coming back. Maybe that was a reality she had to start accepting. Before the realization could take root, her phone rang.
"Hello."
"Marla?" the deep baritone inquired.
"Yes," she said, recognizing the vibration of the voice, but not quite able to place it.
"This is Carrington Shelby."
Chapter 28
"BETTER LATE THAN NEVER," Marla said, as Carrington stood. She slipped onto the bar stool beside him.
"I could say the same, with emphasis on the never," Carrington smiled. He'd forgotten how stunning the leggy beauty was. "The telephone works both ways."
"Can't argue that," Marla said. "To say I was shocked to get your call last night would be an understatement. What prompted contact after all this time? It's been a year since Vegas."
"Some women you never forget."
"Great line, but I'm the wrong one to run it on. Why do I think it's more along the lines of you were thumbing through your little black book and ran across my name?"
Carrington was taken aback by her astute observation. Brains and beauty: a heady combination, he thought, thinking of another who possessed those same qualities.
"Don't underestimate yourself."
"I don't," Marla said. "I'm not that naive. I happen to know a line when I hear one. But you can relax. I'm happy you called – even if it is a year later," she smiled.
Carrington laughed. "So why didn't you call me?"
"Life," Marla said simply.
"Ahhh, life. That I understand."
"Now I remember why I enjoyed your company so much that night in Vegas," Marla professed. "You're easy to talk to ... and easy on the eyes." How could she have forgotten just how green – and hypnotic – they were.
"You really know how to flatter a man, Ms. Spencer."
"Check," Marla smiled, popping a pretzel from the basket on the bar in her mouth.
At his confused glance, she continued. "For remembering my last name. ... Like I said, I know how this game works."
"And as I said – genuinely – some women are hard to forget."
"Thank you," Marla said, a tinge of sadness glazing her gaze. She was sitting next to a guy who remembered her full name after a year of no contact, and wanting to be with one who'd rejected her full being after she'd given him a child. The irony of it struck her.
What would life have been like had she never met and fallen madly in love with Gunner? Would she have called Carrington?
Could she have fallen for him?
Could she still?
Chapter 29
BRIA RUBBED ONE HAND over her stomach as she thought about the question her best friend had asked her on the day of their museum visit almost a week ago: "Is this why you're so keen to meet with Gunner? Because you feel like Carrington is rejecting you?"
Once again, her world had been turned upside down. Even though Maya didn't know about her pregnancy, could she be right? She didn't want to be a single mother. But that's exactly where she was headed because she was pregnant by a man who'd simply disappeared on her.
And there was only one person in the world world she felt safe enough to share the news with.
Chapter 30
BRIA GROANED SOFTLY, opening her eyes to the darkness as she frowned. What the hell was that sound, she wondered as she fought the claws of sleep trying to reclaim her.
She looked over at her nightstand and saw her phone, face down, ringing. She pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead, catching a glance at the clock on her nightstand. 4:37. Who would be calling so late? Or early? Which was it? Darn it, she couldn't process a rational thought. Was pregnancy brain a thing this early on?
She rolled over and grabbed the annoying device to answer. It didn't matter who it was at this hour. It had better be important or someone was going to get an earful – if she could muster up the energy to give an earful. In spite of the almost seven hours of sleep she'd already gotten, she still felt like a limp dishrag, and could go on sleeping for several hours more.
She pressed the green button on the phone. "Hello," she muttered groggily.
"Hey."
The voice snatched sleep away. She clutched her stomach and sat up.
Gunner.
She'd gone to bed thinking of one man, and woke up to the voice of another. The fragility of being single sucker-punched her in the gut. She was used to only one man. One partner. One endless love. Not this roller coaster of emotion between two.
"I'm sorry to wake you up. And I know you said you'd get back to me about when we could meet up—"
"I meant to; just a lot going on these days," Bria said. In truth, after a few days of thinking about it, she was on the verge of taking Maya's advice and not meeting with Gunner. But she
was a see-saw of emotion these days, and the next hour, she'd be thinking that she should.
"Partner hours," Gunner said, referring to her job.
"Yeah, something like that," Bria said, wishing that was all that was sucking her time and energy these days.
"I understand," Gunner breathed.
Bria knew him so well. She could feel the need emanating from him.
"I just needed someone to talk to. Correction: I need to talk to you," he said.
"Is something wrong?" Bria asked, as the silence stretched on the other end of the line.
"No," he said softly. "Nothing physical or anything like that."
Hearing Gunner's voice brought her back to the thing she missed the most. Love. A committed relationship. Someone to come home to. Something she wanted now that she was pregnant more than ever.
Yesterday had been three weeks since she'd heard from Carrington, and she was beginning to doubt if she ever would. She had never felt more alone and Gunner's call was just what her soul needed. After debating the pros and cons of meeting him, ninety ways to none, she had finally made up her mind to see him. She'd gone to bed planning to call him the next day; today – to tell him her decision.
Was the universe trying to tell her something? Could they put their marriage back together? Would he accept another man's child? She knew without a doubt that she could accept his. Her anger a year ago at his child had been misplaced; it had been her pain talking. She realized that now, and she knew that Gunner had known that all along – because he knew her, better than she knew herself in certain situations. There was a comfort in that; in that kind of love.
She pondered the question once again. Could she and Gunner recapture what they once had? The fact that she even considered it shocked her.
"If nothing's wrong, then what is it?" Bria asked at his continued silence.
"I just..." he paused. "I just wanted to hear your voice." Gunner said, bringing her back to the present.
Her chest tightened painfully. Bria closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. A rush of emotion overwhelmed her stinging eyes and burning throat. She could feel the drumming of her heart against her rib cage. "Gunner," She sighed.
"I know." He interrupted. "You don't have to say it. I know. I just miss you, that's all. I needed to hear your voice, even if it's just you telling me to go to hell," he laughed.
It was his nervous laugh. Bria could almost see his thumb and forefinger grabbing his chin, like it always did when he was nervous. She found herself wanting to see his face, to see if he looked as pained as he sounded. What disturbed her more though was that a part of her wanted to say how much she missed him too. His lame jokes, his goofy laugh, the way he cheered her up with just a few words.
It never mattered what was wrong, Gunner could always make her feel better; like everything was going to be okay. He had a way of seeing the world that bent toward hope, balancing the pessimistic side of her perfectly. She hadn't seen a lot of hope growing up, which is why she'd gravitated to his happy-go-lucky attitude like a moth to a flame all those years ago.
She had Maya, but Gunner was her best and oldest friend. And it was right on the tip of her tongue to tell him everything she'd been feeling since she signed those divorce papers that took him out of her life forever. Then she remembered why she'd had to sign divorce papers. A sharp pain pierced her chest. She breathed in deeply to unclench the knotted muscle of her heart.
"Are you alright?" Gunner asked at her labored breathing.
"I'm fine," Bria said. "Why are you really calling Gunner?" she asked.
"I miss you Bria. I know I have no right to ask, but I want you back in my life. Nobody knows me like you, and nobody knows you like me. Every time I open the door to my apartment, I realize how bad I fucked up because it's just that – an apartment. It's not a home like what we had. And even if we never get that back, I was hoping we could at least be friends. If we can salvage nothing else between us, can't we at least try to salvage our friendship?"
"What am I supposed to say to that?" Bria asked, her anger rising. "You broke us Gunner. You threw what we had away and that included the friendship. The basis of any relationship is trust. Without trust, there's nothing."
"I know, and I'll do whatever it takes to rebuild that trust. Just don't tell me that I can't have you in my life on any level Bria. That's too harsh of a penalty to pay, even for what I did. We had plenty of good times; plenty of good years. Don't they deserve some consideration? We were friends first. Don't you remember?"
"Not for long," Bria said, unable to stop herself from correcting his memory as she remembered how their relationship began.
"We became more than friends pretty fast, just like I told you we would," Gunner said.
Bria had to smile at that. She knew he was licking his lips and a smile was tickling the corner of his full mouth, just like it always did when he made a joke.
"I just want you in my life Bria," Gunner continued at her silence.
Her life had taken such a rapid turn of events. She needed him in her life too. It's not like her friend department ran deep. Maya and Gunner were just about it. She had plenty of acquaintances, but they were her two, true-blue friends. And right now, Maya was too stuck on how Gunner had betrayed her to be as subjective and supportive as she needed her to be.
She knew Maya only wanted the best for her, but she couldn't deal with her anger right now, especially as her own anger had taken a backseat with this new turn of events. What she needed was a friend. And in spite of how Gunner had betrayed her, she knew that he would always be there for her. Maybe that could be a new starting point for them – if he could accept the fact that she was carrying another man's child.
"I'm guessing your silence means no," Gunner said when she failed to respond.
The heavy disappointment in his voice finally spilled the tears that she'd been holding in. She felt them, warm and wet, trailing down the sides of her face onto the duvet she snuggled under. She didn't want him to hear how shaky and choked up she was, so she remained quiet. When she felt like could speak without her voice breaking, she cleared her throat.
"We can meet," she said finally. "I have some things I've been meaning to return to you anyway."
Bria picked up on the surprised glitch in his voice. "How about 7:00 tonight at Nunzio's? I remember how much you liked their lamb chops," Gunner said.
"Make it 8:30. I'm snowed under at work. These days, I'm rarely out before 8:00."
"They're getting they're pound of partner flesh, huh?"
"You could say that," Bria smiled.
"Then 8:30 it is," Gunner said. "See you then."
Bria laid back down and stared blankly at the ceiling after hanging up with Gunner. She considered whether she was the stupidest woman in the world, or one of the smartest. She shouldn't want to see her ex, but she did. A twinge pinched her heart and more tears welled. He'd sounded so relieved when she agreed to meet him. She pictured the big smile that she knew lit up his face. Gunner's smile was wide and open; showing practically all his teeth. She used to tease him about it; a feature she'd loved from their very first date.
"NOW THAT'S WHAT YOU call ‘cheesin' back,'" Bria said.
"What?" Gunner responded in mock surprise, the very thing she was teasing him about on full display.
"You do realize you show all of you teeth when you smile, don't you?"
"My smile is like my heart – big and genuine," he professed, putting his hand to his puffed-out chest.
"I know you are not trying to run a line on me Gunner Michaels?"
"Not a'tall milady," he responded playfully. "You'll see for yourself," he declared.
"Really?" Bria asked. "Either you are the corniest brotha I have ever met, or one of the most genuine. I haven't decided yet."
"I assure you, I'm one of the realest," Gunner replied. "And when we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, I'm gonna remind you of this and tell you ‘I told you so,'" he smiled – this time on purpo
se making it wider than ever.
"Is that a fact?" Bria said laughing, her hands folded across her chest as she surveyed him. "You are pretty sure of yourself aren't you?"
"Yes, especially when I know what I want. And make no mistake, I want you Bria Michelle. One day, you're gonna be my wife. Watch."
BRIA HADN'T REALIZED it then, but she'd fallen in love with Gunner that day. Even at just eighteen years old, he'd been very sure of himself. He knew exactly what he wanted out of life, how he was going to get it, and was comfortable in his own skin.
She recognized herself in him, although she was almost the complete opposite. She wasn't as confident, but she had always known what she wanted out of life. And she had a plan to get it, just like Gunner.
While Gunner pursued his goals with gusto and bravado, her pursuit was more of a silent, nose-to-the-grindstone path. But they were on the same page of the same book, so it worked. Their kind of opposites did attract – and stick. At least for a couple of decades it had.
And then there was Carrington – the kind of opposite that didn't stick. She still couldn't believe that he'd just disappeared on her. Four weeks of dating bliss. ‘Yes, that's what it had been’, she admitted to herself. Being with Carrington had been bliss. And then it hit her; that's exactly the way her mother had described her feelings for her father.
WHAT I FELT FOR YOUR father – it never made any sense, and I never tried to make it make any sense. There are some men who sear themselves into your soul Bria. That's a dangerous kind of love, but it's the only kind I know because he's the only man I've ever loved. I was only 22 when I met your father. I barely knew what love was, but being with him was a kind of bliss I never wanted to wake up from. In spite of what we are, of what you see now, there has been love. Remember that.
BUT IT WASN'T GOOD for you mama? God how I wish you were here, Bria sighed into the darkness, her thoughts turning back to the differences between Carrington and Gunner.
Love after Betrayal: An Interracial, Billionaire Romance Page 14