Love after Betrayal: An Interracial, Billionaire Romance

by Black, Yuwanda

  "Or chapette," Bria smiled tiredly.

  Chapter 43

  "SO YOU ALL ARE, IN essence, living together now," Maya said.

  "I wouldn't put it like that," Bria said, a light blanket covering her swollen feet as Maya sat across from her in Carrington's living room.

  "You're staying here. He's staying here. I call that living together. But whatever title you put on it, one title that can't be dismissed is lug-zur-ree!.Girl you are living in luxury. I'm too afraid to move for fear I'm gonna break something I can't afford to replace."

  "It is pretty swanky, right?" Bria smiled.

  "Yeah. I don't think I could ever get used to living like this."

  "I've been here a few weeks, and no, I don't think I could either."

  "But what I could get used to are the perks – maid, chef, chauffeur. Bria are you sure you don't want to marry the man? Girl, you would never have to worry about anything – and I do mean in-tee-thing – ever again."

  Bria laughed as Maya eyes continued to bug out about her surroundings. "But Maya, I don't worry about anything now. Very few people in the world have Carrington's kind of wealth, but I'm not exactly poor."

  "I know, but it never hurts to point out the obvious. ... So have you all talked any more about marriage? Have either of you brought it up?"

  "Now, we haven't," a deep voice said as both women turned. "As you're her best friend, perhaps you can talk some sense into her," Carrington said.

  "What are you doing here?" Bria said, shocked to see him.

  "In case you forgot, I live here," he smiled. "Maya, nice to see you again. Has she been behaving herself?"

  "Oh, she doesn't try anything with me. She knows better," Maya said, wondering if Bria had lost her damned mind. Fine as hell and rich as hell. Tina Turner's infamous, "What's love got to do with it" line came to her. Maybe she would have a talk with her friend.

  "Perfect. Now I know who to call when she gets out of line," he said.

  "In case you all forgot, I'm sitting right here," Bria piped up.

  "We know," Maya said. "But sometimes children should be seen and not heard," she finished, barely stifling her laughter.

  "If I could get up off this couch," Bria warned.

  "But you can't," Maya couldn't resist teasing her.

  "I won't disturb you ladies further. I'll be in my office if you need anything," Carrington said, directing his clear, green gaze to Bria.

  He could tell she felt fine. He was glad Maya was there. She brought all kinds of laughter and light – just what Bria needed right now.

  What they both needed.

  Chapter 44

  CARRINGTON HOLED UP in his office. The idea was to do some work. The reality was far different. He was lost in regret for so many things.

  He had seen the fear in Bria's eyes about what could go wrong with the baby. It was a constant, unspoken worry between them, especially as she grew bigger. That same fear gripped him in the middle of the night.

  That's why he was glad her best friend was visiting. She brought some much needed laughter and levity. He hadn't heard Bria laugh so much – ever, he realized. He wished he could make her laugh like that. They co-existed fine, but there was no intimacy; not the kind he wanted. It made him ache for her all the more.

  Bria had flatly refused to share his bed upon moving in, of course. She had taken one of the three guest bedrooms the suite consisted of. And now that their baby wasn't a seedling, but a vibrant being they could feel and marvel at, it made him re-examine a lot more about his life; starting with his living arrangements.

  A hotel suite – as luxurious as it was – was not a home. A child needed stability, so he'd started looking for a permanent place in the city. Thus far, he'd only seen two. He should have been looking with Bria, he thought as he surveyed the second place. They should have been looking for a home together – as husband and wife.

  He realized, too late, all the mistakes he'd made along the way, and that that was a dream that was never going to come to fruition. Maybe if he'd approached the situation differently from the beginning, things could have worked out for them. But he'd been too busy running away from the effect Bria had on him to realize what was true very early on in their relationship. He started to fall for Bria from the first night he met her. He didn't know how or when he'd made the leap to love, but he had definitely fallen in love with her, and know how to unfall. And he didn't want to know.

  That's why he'd called Marla. He was running away from a truth he wasn't ready to face; trying desperately to hold onto the lie that he'd been telling himself since Syriah in one form or another: a family and commitment wasn't what he wanted.

  It's amazing how easily one can lie to one's self – and believe it, he thought. And he'd prided himself on not doing that, and advising his daughter not to as well.

  The truth was, he was a fool; in danger of being more messed up over Bria than he was over Syriah over a decade ago. After that fiasco of a relationship, he'd apparently decided that he'd never let another woman get close enough to hurt him again. The only woman he had let anywhere near his heart had been his daughter, Alexandria. She loved him without reservation; the same way he loved her. It was the kind of unconditional love he hadn't found in another; one he didn't trust to find in another – certainly not a romantic partner. And then along comes Bria, breaking every truth he thought he knew about himself and throwing the shattered pieces to the wind.

  Alexandria had once asked him if Syriah was the love of his life; the one who got away. He could answer unequivocally now that no, she wasn’t. Bria Michelle Michaels was.

  He sighed in anger and regret. Pregnant. He still couldn't believe it. He should have made sure she was on birth control. He should have not taken her the third time that night. But sliding into her had been as easy as breathing. And he'd needed to be deep in her, as much as he'd needed breath in his lungs.

  If he had known he'd feel this way about her, he would have never approached her at the Christmas party. Had he not, she wouldn't be heavy with his child, struggling to bring it into the world. It was like carrying his heart in the palm of his hand everywhere he went, afraid he was going to drop it, that someone was going to stomp on it and crush the life out of it. None of this would be happening if he'd just ignored the smooth skin on the dark-haired beauty peeking through an open-back dress that fateful night. In spite of, Carrington couldn't help but smile at the memory.

  The creator himself couldn't have resisted Bria that evening. How could he, a mere mortal? He'd known immediately that he had to have her. He didn't realize then just how all-consuming that need would turn out to be. An image of her naked legs spread wide for him, eyes glazed over and wild with desire, flashed through his mind, sending blood rushing straight to his already hard cock.

  Having her under his roof, but not in his bed was a special kind of torture. The universe must have conjured it up to punish him for not realizing what he had before he blew it.

  He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He wanted her all the time, especially now that his seed was growing in her. It was like her hormones planted themselves in him, making his desire a thousand times deeper; his passion a thousand times brighter. How could she not feel it?

  He knew he didn't mean anything to her. He knew that, but a part of him thought... he hoped ... His thoughts going in circles, Carrington decided to fix himself something to eat. Maybe having a full stomach would detract from his fully hardened and desperately-wanting-Bria cock.

  "CARRINGTON," HE HEARD a voice call.

  "Yes, he said, practically sprinting down the hallway to the living room. "Are you okay?" he asked.

  "I'm fine. I just thought I heard someone in the kitchen."

  "I decided to fix myself some lunch," he explained. "Have you eaten? Do you want me to fix you something?"

  "I'm fine. Maya and I ate just before you got here."

  "Where is she?" he asked.

  "She left a little while after you came
in. Said she didn't want to disturb the happy couple," Bria smiled.

  "I see. But she didn't have to rush off."

  "She knows. I was a little tired, so I dozed after she left. We'd been visiting for a while."

  "If you're sure you don't want anything, I'll let you get back to your nap."

  "I'm not sleepy anymore. Can you ... would you sit with me for a bit?" Bria asked. "Being restricted to a bed or a couch is driving me crazy. It’s only been a few weeks. I don't know how I'm going to get through another three or four months of this."

  "Well in that case, this part of the happy couple is happy to oblige your part of the happy couple."

  "Stop it," Bria said, shooting him a look full of mirth.

  "Stop what? Your friend said it. We could be happy Bria. We could," Carrington said soberly. "Won't you reconsider my marriage proposal?"

  "No. I will never marry you Carrington."

  "Still hoping for a reconciliation with your ex?"

  "Why must you bring up Gunner every time you bring up marriage?"

  "Because he seems the obvious impediment to you refusing my proposal."

  "And if I told you that's not true, would you believe me?"

  "Highly unlikely, as I don't think you'd ever admit your real feelings about your ex-husband to me."

  Bria sighed. What if she told him the truth; that she loved him with everything in her. That her biggest fear these days – besides the health of the child she was carrying – is that she would live out the rest of her days alone, because she'd never be able to fall out of love with him and in love with someone else? That at now thirty-six years old, that could mean another 40, 50, or 60 years? That meeting and falling in love with him had been the biggest blessing and curse in her life? And finally, that she could never marry a man who didn't love her – even if he was the father of her child? Could he handle those truths?

  "Remember when I told you the story about my dad taking me to the park and wanting to push me high on the swing?"

  "Yes," he said. "You said you were afraid; that you didn't trust him."

  "Well there's more to that story."

  Carrington remained quiet. He sat back in the chair Maya had occupied earlier, his long, lean legs folded in front of him as he clasped his hands behind his head. His gaze was trained on her.

  Bria She loved this about him. He always readied himself to listen; to give her his complete attention when she talked about something.

  "My parents were married for 27 years. I became cognizant of them as husband and wife around five or six, I guess. Before that, they were just mama and daddy. When I look back, one of the things that always sticks out to me is how almost all of their years of marriage were one too many in my opinion."

  "Really? All?"

  "Yes," Bria confirmed. "My mother should have left him, but she never did. And he sure as hell wasn't about to leave her. You see, my father liked the idea of a wife and child, but not the actuality of a family."

  "Did you ever ask your mother why she stayed when she was obviously so unhappy?" Carrington asked.

  "Yes," Bria said. "I must have been about fifteen years old. In fact, it was right around the time I started dating Gunner. He was so good to me. We never fought; we actually liked being together. It was so different from the way my parents interacted. They acted like battle-scarred strangers forced to live together."

  Bria took a deep breath. She couldn't believe she was going to tell him things in months that it had taken a few years for her to share with Gunner. He was the only other person she'd ever discussed her parent's relationship with in detail. It didn't hurt that Carrington was so easy to talk to. The words flowed effortlessly, beautifully, freely from her. And every time she looked at him when she was speaking, his eyes were right there; drawing more out of her – telling her it was okay to use him as an emotional dumping ground. This made their physical connection that more powerful, which made her emotional connection to him deeper. Was it any wonder that she'd fallen so deeply in love with him?

  And there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. And that was the point of this story.

  "That bad, huh?" Carrington said, shaking her from her runaway thoughts.

  "You have no idea," Bria exhaled.

  "What did your mother say when you asked her why she stayed?"

  "She said she loved him; that he was as the only man she'd ever loved. And when I asked her how she knew that if she never even gave herself a chance to meet anybody else, she slapped me."

  "That must have been a shock."

  "It was the only time she ever hit me. Ever. ... I had a date with Gunner that night. I remember because it was a Friday night and there was a football game at our high school. I was never allowed to go to the house parties after. I always had to be home within a half hour of the game being over. But that night, she made an exception. I was allowed to hang out later."

  "Her way of apologizing?" Carrington asked.

  "I think so. I never asked, and I never asked her about her relationship with my father again. I wish I had. There was so much I could have learned from her."

  "It's hard any time you lose a parent."

  "True, but I think losing them when you're young is worse. I was twenty-three when my mom died, and although technically I was an adult, I know there was still so much she could have taught me."

  "Like what?" Carrington asked, intrigued.

  "When you're in your late twenties and early thirties, you start to realize how big this ball of mess we call life is – and how much you don't know. And you need someone to turn to who has navigated those same waters. This is where having parents around helps. I know I wouldn't have made half the mistakes I've made in life had I had my mom around."

  "You've done okay for yourself," Carrington said.

  "Sure. One divorce down, and a baby on the way with a man I barely know. I may be stellar in the professional department, but personally, I'm a hot mess."

  "I have offered marriage," Carrington said, reminding her of her how this conversation started.

  "Don't you see Carrington? My mother got married, and stayed in an emotionally, and sometimes physically, abusive relationship for years. And the reason my parents got married is my mother was pregnant with me. I swore I'd never repeat that mistake. So I can't marry you. The only reason I would ever marry again is the same reason I married the first time – for love."

  Chapter 45

  "DO YOU THINK HE ACCEPTS it now; that you'll never marry him?" Gunner asked.

  "He hasn't asked since then, and that was two months ago. So yes, I think he finally got the message. Besides, he thinks I'm still in love with you."

  "Something tells me that you're not unhappy about this misconception."

  "It's not a misconception. I do love you Gunner."

  "Yeah, but only as a friend, something I get better at accepting every day. It's going take a long time to get over you Bria Michaels, but I am determined."

  "Then it shall be done," Bria said. "One thing I always loved about you Gunner is that when you put your mind to something, it's as good as done."

  "Thanks for that. You always had my back."

  "I tried," Bria said, remembering that she hadn't fully had his back and that was one of the reasons their marriage ended.

  "Stop letting those regrets troll around your head," he said.

  "Will anybody ever know me as well as you do Gunner? That's another reason I can't marry him. I can't imagine being married to someone I don't know."

  "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but maybe you don't know him because you haven't let him in," Gunner said.

  "I can't believe you just said that either. Are you saying I should marry him?"

  "No. I'm not saying that at all. I don't think you need to go anywhere near marrying him anytime soon – if ever – especially if he doesn't love you. Are you sure he doesn't, Bria? Have you allowed yourself that possibility."

  "No I haven't because I know he doesn't
. Carrington Shelby is used to having things his way. And when I told him I was pregnant, his way was marriage – not because he loved me, but because it would be best for our child to his way of thinking. And even if I could somehow convince myself to do it because of that, how long before he got bored with family life? He may think that's what he wants now, but the reality of having a family isn't all that glamorous."

  "That I can attest to," Gunner said. "Children are work, and if you don't have a foundation of commitment beforehand, it can make it tougher to stick things out when you're drowning in poopy diapers and midnight feedings."

  "Is that why things didn't work out with you and Marla? Where do things stand between you two? You know she's crazy about you, right?"

  "I know, and if I could snap my fingers and return her feelings, goodness knows I would. But I don't love her, and it would be cruel to string her along."

  "It would, but do you think you could love her if you gave yourself a chance?"

  "I have asked myself that and the answer is no. It doesn't make sense because to look at her, she's everything a man should want. And she's a great mother. But you can't force chemistry. And as much as I admire and respect her, there's no chemistry."

  "There was obviously some chemistry," Bria reminded him.

  "As you know," he said, looking pointedly at her stomach, "physical chemistry is different from heart chemistry. I had both with you. And like you, I refuse to ever settle for anything less."

  "Sounds like you've been doing a lot of reflecting."

  "I have," Gunner said. "I don't necessarily like it, but I realized that I had to if I'm going to not make a big mistake like that again."

  "Like what?" Bria asked.

  "Losing you. I still can't believe I did it."

  Bria didn't like how it happened, but she had reconciled why it had happened months ago. Her fate was to meet Carrington. To have his child. To know this kind of love. She'd never breathe a word of it to Gunner, but she'd never loved him the way she loved Carrington; didn't even know this kind of love existed. Is this what her mother had felt for her father? If so, she understood better why she stayed, and even more why she could never marry Carrington.