CARRINGTON LOOKED OUT at the lights on the Empire State Building. So tall and majestic. Almost fairy tale-ish in the night sky.
Speaking of fairy tales, had Stuart and Rita been right? Had he been running away from love all these years. Lord knows he'd had his opportunities – plenty of them. But he always found a reason to bolt from the relationship.
Even the one with Syriah; the one woman he freely admitted that he loved. But how deep had it run. He'd given her two weeks to leave her husband. If he wanted a lifetime with her, wouldn't he have have waited longer? Fought harder? Gone back to her?
But no, he'd cut her out of his life with surgical precision, much the way Bria explained that she'd cut Gunner out of her life once he told her about his affair.
A thunderbolt of clarity hit him!
Could it be that she really was just friends with her ex, as she claimed all along?
Was there a chance – however small – that she loved him, as Stuart and Rita intimated?
Chapter 50
"SO WHO EXACTLY ARE you?" Bria asked, as the young woman closed Bria's office door behind her. She sent up a silent prayer. Dear god, please don't let this be some crazy stalker from Carrington's past – or present.
Maya got up and came to stand beside Bria's desk.
"Do you mind if we speak in private?" she asked Bria.
"Not on your life sweetheart," Maya said. "She asked you who you were. Care to answer?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so nervous," they young woman said.
"You're nervous," Bria said, not realizing she'd voiced the question aloud.
"Yes. That's my little brother or sister you're carrying. I'm fath—Carrington's daughter, Alexandria."
The second she said it, Bria could have kicked herself. Of course she was. The eyes! They were Carrington's – color, shape, zest for life buried in them. It was all there.
"I'm sorry," Bria said. "I should have known." At the young woman's confused look, she continued, "You have your father's eyes."
"Oh. Yeah. I get told that a lot."
"Can we talk?" she asked, looking nervously at Maya, who wore a big ole apology all over her relieved face.
"Nice to meet you," Maya said, holding out her hand. "I'm the over-protective best friend and godmother-to-be," she said.
"Nice to meet you," Alexandria said. "At least I know my little brother or sister will be in good hands," she smiled.
"Now that my super powers are no longer needed, I think I'll give you two that much-needed privacy. There's a boutique around the corner I've been meaning to check out. I'll be back in about half an hour. And Bria, if you even think of lifting anything, I will know," Maya warned. "I have super powers, remember?"
"I'll make sure she doesn't," Alexandria said, smiling sheepishly.
"Why do I feel like I'm being ganged up on," Bria said, leaning back in her chair.
"I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH father has told you about me. He can be very open about certain things, and very closed about others."
"Actually, he talks about you quite a lot. He's very proud of you," Bria said.
"Good," Alexandria smiled. "I wish I could say the same," she said, her smile receding.
"I see," was all Bria could think to say.
"I didn't mean that the way it sounded. Obviously, I know about you; I know about the baby. But father always seems so pained when your name comes up. I didn't know if it was because of difficulties with the pregnancy, or difficulties between you two," she said, probing. "I don't mean to pry, it’s just ... I'm very close to my father. I love him very much. I don't like to see him unhappy."
"I'm sorry about that Alexandria. The last thing I want is for your father to be unhappy."
"Do you love him?" she asked, with the kind of innocence only youth could hold.
The question caught Bria by surprise. "I ... I—"
"You don't have to answer that," Alexandria said. "Can I ask you about the baby?"
"Of course," Bria said. This line of questioning she could handle.
"I know you all decided not to find out the sex, but have you decided on any names?"
"No, not yet. Maybe that's something you can help with," Bria said. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Yes," Alexandria said. "Please. Anything."
"How do you feel about your father having another child?"
"I was shocked at first because I didn't even know he was dating anyone seriously."
Bria took a deep breath.
"I don't mean to offend," Alexandria said.
"You didn't," Bria assured her. "It was a surprise for both of us."
"So what exactly is the current state of you and my father's relationship?" she probed. "I wouldn't ask, but like I said, he seems so unhappy these days. It's just not like him."
"SO HOW DID THE CHAT with the kid go?" Maya asked, plopping two shopping bags on Bria's desk some forty-five minutes later.
"She's far from a kid, and she asked very grown-up questions. ... Remember when I told you that I thought Carrington was excited about this child?"
"Yeah," Maya said.
"I think it's an act Maya. Maybe a guilty conscience – I don't know, but—"
"Wait a minute. Back up. What makes you think that? Did his daughter say something?"
"She said that Carrington quote, ‘always seems so pained when my name comes up. ... That he's unhappy. I think he's unhappy that his life has been turned upside down. That maybe now that this child is a reality, he's remembering why he didn't want another one."
"What are you going to do Bria?"
"That only thing I can," Bria responded, the final door in her heart closing.
Chapter 51
"SO HOW DOES IT FEEL to be back in your own apartment?" Gunner asked. "Are you managing ok?"
"Yes, although it's almost like not living alone. Carrington hired a nurse to be on call 24/7/365, and she takes her duties very seriously. I swear, sometimes I feel like a prisoner on suicide watch – like I’m constantly watched in case I may want to harm myself."
"That's a rather grim comparison," Gunner said. "Can't blame the guy. I'd do the same thing. I know he knows you're not going to harm yourself or the baby, but he figures since you refuse to stay under his roof, this is the next best thing."
"You really think that's what it is?" Bria asked.
"Yes. Any father-to-be would do the same. Although if it were me, I'd kidnap you and make you move back in with me."
"You wouldn't?!" Bria exclaimed.
"Yes hell I would! There is no way in hell I woulda let you leave in your condition. But, he doesn't know you like I do. He doesn't know how to get on your good side and sweet talk you into thinking it woulda been your idea instead of his."
"You read me like a book," Bria said. "And yes, I can see you pulling a stunt like that."
"It would be for your own good Bria."
"Why did I let you go again?" Bria sighed.
"I think it's called falling out of love. Not sure when or how it happened, but it did."
"I'm sorry Gunner," Bria said, feeling guilty whenever she was confronted with this truth. Gunner still wore his emotions so plainly for her on his sleeve, and if she could have pulled up even one iota of romantic love for him, she might have run right back into his big, safe arms. It would have been the easiest thing in the world to do, especially in her condition. To have someone there she knew she could rely on. Someone who loved her unconditionally. Where was the love when you needed it?
With Carrington, her subconscious answered. You love him and nothing is going to change that.
"No need to be sorry. Truth sucks, but I'm a big boy. Made my bed. Lying in it. Will get beyond it. Eventually. Now, why did you call me over here? Or should I say, bribe me with peach pie to get me over here?"
"I need to ask your advice. About the baby. About Carrington."
"Oooh. That deep, huh?"
"Yeah," Bria said. "Can you handle it?"
"For you, I can handle anything. ... But this i
s huge, so that pie had better come with some butter pecan ice cream."
"Ahhh, methinks you forget how well I know thee too Gunner Michaels," Bria said. "There's a half gallon in the freezer," she laughed.
"SO YOU'RE ASKING ME to tell you how to tell a man that he doesn't have to be involved with his child, without making him feel guilty about it? Is that what you're asking?" Gunner said.
"I don't like the way it sounds, but yeah, I guess. ... I don't want someone around my child who doesn't want to be a father Gunner. Children feel that. I know they do. I'd rather it have no father at all than one like that."
"But are you sure he doesn't want to be a father?"
"Yep, pretty sure. And I told him from the beginning that he didn't have to be involved. Then he seemed into it and all caring. But after talking with his daughter, I'm more convinced than ever that that was just an act."
"Why don't you just ask the man how he feels?"
"Tell me this," Bria said. "How did you feel when Marla told you she was pregnant? Were you excited?"
"No, I definitely was not excited. But that's different. I was married. That was the most important thing to me at the time. And, I wasn't sure the child was mine. You're comparing apples to oranges."
"What I'm asking Gunner is – from a male perspective, can you really be happy about a child you didn't plan for?"
"I didn't plan for Gracie, and although I hate what it did to us and our marriage, I wouldn't trade her for anything. Not even for our marriage. I know you already know this because you're carrying the baby, but the love a parent has for a child, there's nothing like that. So even if he's not excited about the baby now, if he's human, he will be once it gets here. But again, why don't you just ask him?"
"Because I don't trust that he'll tell me the truth. I don't know him like I know you Gunner. All these months, I've been thinking that he was excited about the baby. Now, I'm pretty sure he isn't. And I don't want my child to be a burden. As much as I want it to have both parents in his or her life, I'm more than capable of taking care of it. I know what it's like to grow up in an unhealthy home. I'd rather die that repeat that cycle with my kid. I worked so hard to make sure that I didn't repeat that mistake."
"And a part of you still blames me for that. I didn't stick to our checklist. I wrecked everything."
"Yeah, a tiny part of me does blame you. But I know that's unrealistic. What's done is done. The biggest part of me is just glad to still have you in my life. And you know why?"
"Why?" Gunner asked.
"Because I know my son or daughter will know what a good man is. We had our problems Gunner, but I know you're a good man. And our relationship – it will show them what true love looks like on several levels."
Gunner patted her hand. "Thank you for saying that. Besides losing you, my one regret is that I lost that title for a while. I always prided myself on being a good husband. But—"
"You're human too. We all make mistakes, but now look at us. I know we'll be in each other's lives forever. And these days, you have no idea how comforting that is for me."
"I should probably hate you for saying that, because I know that I am firmly on the friendship shelf for life. But if that's the only way I can be in your life, I'll take it. You're a helluva woman Bria Michaels – and one parent or two, that is one lucky kid you're carrying."
Bria bit her bottom lip, her eyes welling with tears. "You think so?"
"No. I know so," Gunner said. "Now, how about that pie and ice cream."
Bria looked at her watch as her doorbell rang. "That can't be that darned nurse again. She already came once today. Carrington must be paying her a fortune because she hovers like a mother hen. I should just invite her to stay in. ... Help yourself to the goodies Gunner. You know where everything is," Bria said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I'll get the door."
"Thanks," Gunner said, heading in the opposite direction from Bria as they both got up from the couch.
"Coming," Bria said, as the doorbell rang insistently again.
Chapter 52
"CARRINGTON," BRIA SAID. "What are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to you," he responded. "May I come in?"
Bria hesitated, looking down the hall towards the kitchen. She remembered the last time he and Gunner had seen each other. In front of the doctor's office. That hadn't gone over well at all. She didn't want a repeat.
"Why didn't you call first?" Bria said. "Now's not the best time," she said nervously.
"It will only take a few minutes, and I think it would be good for you, for us, for the baby," he said, looking at her bulging belly.
"I—"
"Bria, do you have any whip cream? I looked all over, but I can't—" Gunner stopped mid-sentence.
"I see why it's not a good time," Carrington said tightly. "I'm sorry to interrupt," he said, staring form Bria to Gunner. There were a thousand things he wanted to say, but none of them would bode well for Bria's health, so he turned to leave. But there was one thing he needed to make crystal clear. He turned back around: "No man will be a substitute father to my child. Are we clear?" he stated calmly, his steel-green eyes blazing into Gunner.
"Carrington that was uncalled for," Bria said.
"Maybe in your eyes. I just want to make sure we're all on the same page. What you do with your personal life is your business, but this child is very much my business. And I will be a full presence in its life – from day one. So if you have other plans," he said to Bria, "I suggest you reconfigure them, or—"
"Or what?" Bria said.
"Are you threatening her?" Gunner said, moving to step in front of Bria.
"This is not your fight Gunner," Bria said.
"If it involves you, it is my fight," Gunner insisted.
"I don't fight, Mr. Michaels," Carrington said, his voice as flat and dry as the Sahara desert. "I finish fights."
"The way y'all finish things on Park Avenue is not how we do it in Compton, my friend," Gunner said. "By the time you think about finishing, I'll already be done," he smiled – with not a trace of humor in the gesture.
Carrington made a step towards Gunner.
Bria burst out laughing.
Two pairs of eyes turned to look at her. The only thing keeping these two rams apart, Bria thought, was her big-ass belly. A pregnant woman standing between two grown-ass men acting like teen-aged bullies on a playground.
"What's so funny?" Gunner asked.
"The two of you. Do you realize how ridiculous you look, and you sound even more ridiculous. Get in here Carrington. Both of you all are going to be in my life, and it's time we set some boundaries about how that's going to happen."
"He will not be a pseudo – or any kind of – father to my child," Carrington said.
"Stop being juvenile and get in here," Bria said, taking him by the hand and practically pulling him into her apartment.
"And Gunner, not one word out of you," Bria said, noting his gearing up to respond to Carrington's declaration. "Go on in the living room. Both of you. We are going to hash this out like rational adults once and for all, or I'm going to be done with both of you – once and for all."
"BRIA PACED IN FRONT of her sofa, which held Gunner on one end and Carrington on the other.
"Shouldn't you be sitting down?" Carrington asked.
"Yeah," Gunner agreed.
"Funny how you're both so concerned now, but two seconds ago you were ready to rip each other's head off and make me to go into premature labor.
They both had the dignity to at least look apologetic.
"I didn't come here to cause you stress."
"Why did you come?" Bria asked, all but forgetting that Gunner was in the room. It had been a couple of days since she'd seen Carrington. He looked like he'd lost a few pounds and there was a darkness in his eyes she'd never seen before. Was the impending birth making him that unhappy? What caused her joy gave him so much pain. Bria heart ached even more for what could never be.
"I came to check on you," Carrington lied. His original intent no longer mattered.
"Liar," Gunner said.
"Gunner," Bria said.
"I'm leaving," Gunner declared suddenly. He could see exactly why Carrington came to see Bria. And soon, she'd see it too. And he couldn't be there for that.
"But wait," Bria said. "We need to come to an understanding. The three of us," Bria trailed off helplessly.
"We know where we stand," Gunner said, the pad of his thumb caressing her cheek as he looked into her eyes. "You've made that crystal clear. You know where to find me when you need me Bria. And you know I'll always be here, right?"
Carrington gritted his teeth. Hard. His cheekbones practically exploded from his face.
"I know," Bria said.
"You're a fool if you leave here without telling her why you came," Gunner said to Carrington as he turned to go. "A damn fool."
"What did he mean by that?" Bria said, as she heard her front door close.
"You know him better than I do," Carrington deflected.
"That's true, but I felt like there was some kind of bro code being spoken – things that went right over my head."
"It's obvious you and your ex are more than friends. Perhaps I'm being presumptuous by saying ex," Carrington said, deflecting again.
"You're obviously determined not to answer my question, so I'll answer yours. Perhaps you can take a cue, and be more direct. Yes, Gunner and I remain close. We always will be," Bria stated almost defiantly.
"You all don't have children together. I'm assuming no property," Carrington said, as if he was searching for a reason to make sense of her staying friend with her ex.
"Maybe in your world people are disposable, but not in mine. Gunner will always be a part of my life."
"Why?" Carrington asked bluntly.
"Because he knows me better than any other person on earth. Because he cared for me when I didn't even care for myself. Because he's a decent person and he's my friend. I care about what happens to him."
"You're sticking with the ‘just friends' label. Interesting," he said, one eyebrow raised. "Just how friendly are you and your ex Bria?"
Love after Betrayal: An Interracial, Billionaire Romance Page 22