"What does it matter to you what my relationship with Gunner is? I will say this one more time, and only one more time. And you can choose to believe it or not. Gunner is just my friend. I fell out of love with him months ago. He knows that. We decided – as two mature adults – to remain friends because we care about each other."
"He cares a helluva lot more for you than as a friend. The man is clearly in love with you."
"I can't help that, and he'll get over it. But it's none of your business," Bria said. "Gunner and I have a beautiful relationship, and I'd like to have at least a functioning one with you which is why I'm glad you came over. Which reminds me, you always call beforehand. It's not like you to just pop up. So what gives?"
"I was in the neighborhood and I wanted to check on you."
"I can tell that's not true, but it doesn't matter. I'm still glad you're here. I wanted to talk to you about something. ... I met your daughter the other day. Did she tell you?"
"Yes, she mentioned it," he said. "I would have gotten around to introducing the two of you, obviously."
"She's lovely. Very curious about her new sibling, which is a relief."
"Did you expect anything less?" Carrington said.
"I had no expectations, as I'd never met her and it's not like we spent time getting to know a whole lot about each other or each other's families before ... well, before this happened," Bria said, patting her stomach.
"True," Carrington said.
"Which brings me to what I wanted to talk to you about. Your daughter told me how unhappy you've been," Bria said, her voice starting to shake. She cleared her throat and sat down in a chair opposite the sofa where Carrington was seated.
"Carrington you made it very clear from the beginning that this was a casual thing," Bria started.
"Correction, we had an understanding," Carrington said. "Why are you practicing revisionist history, and what does that have to with anything?" His nostrils flared. His eyes flashed. He got up and paced the room, turning his back to her. The room was beginning to darken as the sun was setting. Shadows were cast all around them. She wished she could see his face, his eyes, to get an idea of where his thoughts were going.
"You're unhappy. Your daughter told me that. And I think I know why," Bria said.
"You do," he said, his gaze directly on her as he folded his arms across his chest.
His closed stance made Bria all the more nervous. "Carrington we've never discussed having anything more than a casual relationship. I was shocked – shocked! – when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't think you'd want to know. You'd told me that you didn't want any more children; that you were happy with your life just the way it was. I know men in your position are probably used to women trying to get into a situation like this, but trust me, I'm not one of them. I can more than take care of myself and this child. I don't have your means, but I don't want for anything – and neither will this baby."
"So what you're trying to say is you think I'm unhappy about this child? That as your pregnancy progresses, it's getting more and more real for me, and that's making me unhappy? That my plans for my future aren't exactly working out the way I wanted?"
"Yes," Bria said. So she wasn't wrong. That's exactly what she was trying to say, and obviously, exactly what he was feeling. "I know what it's like to be brought up in turmoil. I don't want that for my child. I'd rather ... I'd rather raise it alone than have it feel unwanted or unloved. And I'm not saying that you would ever consciously make an innocent child feel that way, but ..."
"The child would feel it anyway if that's the way I really felt."
"Exactly," Bria said. "
"Maybe it's just as well that I quit the law," he sighed in frustration.
"I don't understand," Bria said.
"I'm obviously horrible at communicating."
"I wouldn't say that," Bria said sadly. "You understood everything I was trying to say perfectly. I'd say you communicate extremely well." Unfortunately, her heart added.
"If you think that Bria, then you should probably give up practicing law as well."
"I think I've been pretty clear all along. In any case, the important thing is we understand each other now."
"You think so?" he asked.
"Yes."
"In that case, let me ask you one more question?"
"Alright," Bria said, not knowing what point he wanted to make. But, this was the time to get everything on the table, so she remained quiet as he spoke.
"What kind of man do you think I am?"
Handsome. Sexy. Loving. Kind. Intelligent. Funny. ... and the man I love, she wanted to shout. But she didn't say any of it.
"I'm not sure I understand your question," she said, instead.
"Do you think I'm the kind of man who would walk away from my own flesh and blood? Do you really think I'm that cold and callous?"
"No ... I mean, to be honest Carrington, I don't know you well enough to know what to think. I'm trying to give you an out here. To give you ..."
"Dammit Bria, I don't want an out. Can't you see that? ... In fact, more than anything, I want to be all in with you in every sense of the word: father, husband, lover. I want it all, and I want it all with you."
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No!" Bria said, as Carrington took a step towards her. "I can't do this with you. I can't. I won't."
"Do what?"
"Be with you out of pity; out of responsibility. That's not what I want."
"Finally, something we agree on. That's not what I want either. I want to be with you for one reason and one reason only Bria. I love you. I didn't plan it, but it happened, and there's nothing I want than for it to become our full-blown reality"
Bria just stared at him. "You...you mean that?" she stammered. She'd heard him wrong. Her mind wanted this too much. She was hearing things. She had to be.
Carrington continued. "I'm sorry," he said.
Bria's eyebrows raised. "For what?"
"For so much. Not calling. Disappearing. Going out with another woman. Running away from what I felt for you.”
“How were you running away from me?” Bria asked.
“When I was busy not calling and disappearing, believe it or not, I thought I was doing you a favor. Come to find out, what I was really doing was running away from what I was starting to feel for you. I thought that it would be unfair to you become deeply involved because I couldn't give you what you wanted: a family, marriage. But all the time, it was what I was wanting. I didn’t recognize that fact because I'd buried those dreams so long ago. I think I buried them when my affair with Syriah ended. I never imagined feeling for another what I felt for her. And then, you came along. You up-ended every trajectory I thought my life was on, and I didn't know how to handle it. That's why I called Marla. In the past, to get over one woman, I'd simply start seeing another. Only, this time, it didn't work. The only thing I could think about when I was with Marla was you. That's when I knew I was in real trouble. And ironically, the only thing she could talk about was her father's child. At the time of course, I didn't know it was Gunner."
"What are the chances?" Bria mused, still shocked by how actually small the world was.
"I know, right,” Carrington said, shaking his head. “Anyway, after that night out with Marla, I still wasn't ready to admit to myself that I'd fallen in love with you. But I started to get a clue because my go-to behavior hadn't worked. Now I realize it's because I didn't want to wrestle with the gravity of what you'd come to mean to me. It was all consuming. I don't think I've ever uttered these words in my entire life, but what I feel for you scares the shit out of me. But you know what's even scarier?"
"What?" Bria asked, her hands folded over her stomach as their child kicked.
"Losing you. That's why I proposed marriage. I told myself that it was because you were pregnant, but you were right, I could give a flying fuck if my kid is born in or out of wedlock. I wanted to tie you to me forever, because I want you for me. Not because you'
re carrying my child, but because I love you, because I don't want to navigate this world without you."
"Oh," Bria said, hunching over a little bit as the baby continued to kick.
"What is it? Are you ok? Should I call—"
"Come here," Bria breathed softly. "Put your hand here," she said, guiding it to the side of her stomach. I think our child is agreeing with you."
"Whoa," Carrington said. "He's kicking up a storm. He's going to be a footballer," he said.
"Yes, she might be," Bria said.
"If she's anything like her mother, she will be damned good at whatever she is."
Carrington's hand moved up to Bria's face. "I know I don't deserve you, and I know you don't want to marry me, but will you at least give me a chance to prove my love Bria. And maybe, just maybe, one day you could return it. I'm willing to wait however long it takes," he said, his look so forlorn it broke something in Bria.
"I love you too Carrington," she said, wanting to put him out of his misery as soon as possible.
"You do? Are you sure? You're not just saying that because you're afraid or feel obligated, or—"
"I've never been more sore about anything," Bria said, cutting him off. "I kind of accidentally fell in love with you within the first couple of weeks of us hanging out. Carrying your child has only deepened that love."
"Bria please mean that."
"With every beat of my heart, and our child's too," Bria said, a tear escaping one eye.
"Oh God, I've been such a fool. Your ex-husband was right about that."
"So there was some bro code going on?" Bria smiled through her tears as Carrington leaned back on the couch, resting her head on his chest.
"Yes. He could see that I was in love with you. That's what I came here to tell you, and proceed to change my mind about once I saw him. I thought—"
"Shhh," Bria said. "I know what you thought, which I hope you realize is not true. What I want to know is, how did you all fit all of that into a little piece of bro code?" Bria chuckled.
"Men are stubborn beasts, but we recognize certain things in each other – like when a man is in love. He could see my love for you as clearly as I could see his for you."
Bria could feel his heartbeat accelerating. She removed her head from his chest and turned to face him. "Gunner will always be a part of my life Carrington. I couldn't cut him out of my life any more than I could cut off my right arm. He's important to me. Not like you are, but he is. I need you to understand and accept that."
"I can't say it'll be easy, but I understand and eventually, I'll come to accept. But, I have one condition."
"What's that?" Bria asked, holding her breath. God please don't make it something I can't agree to, she prayed silently. Give this relationship a chance, she pleaded in her head.
"Marry me Bria. Not because you're pregnant with my child. Not even because I want to keep another from you. Marry me because you want to be my wife and for us to build a life together."
"You can't ask a pregnant woman something like that and expect her to say no," Bria practically blubbered. "Of course I'll marry you."
"Say it again," he said.
"Say what?"
"That you'll marry me. That you love me."
"I love you Carrington Shelby, and it would be the greatest honor of my life to be your wife," Bria said.
He pulled her in his lap and draped his arms around her expansive middle. He sought her lips, kissing her hard as he rubbed her back with the smooth palm of his hand.
"God I fucking love you woman," he whispered against her mouth.
Bria buried those words deep in her soul; giving them firm roots from which to grow throughout the rest of the years of their lives.
She'd never felt so at peace.
Carrington laughed as their child made its presence known again.
"Footballer for sure," they said in unison as they rubbed the spot where their future star was practicing.
Epilogue
"SO WHEN CAN YOU FLY this coop?" Maya asked.
"Day after tomorrow," Bria said.
"Have you heard from Gunner? Does he know you had the baby?"
"Yes. Funnily enough, Carrington called him and told him."
"Interesting turn of events. I guess he figures now that he's three thousand miles away, he's no threat," Maya laughed. "So Gunner's all settled back in Cali?"
"Yes. He seems happy."
"Do you think he'll finally get around to settling down with Marla?"
"No. He's not in love with her," Bria said.
"Then why did he take her out there with him?"
"They share a child, Maya. He didn't want to be away from his little girl. And when Marla's company agreed to relocate her, it just all seemed to make sense. She loves him. I kinda hope he does fall for her. But I know Gunner; that's not likely. I just hope she comes to accept it. She's a beautiful woman. I'd hate for her to waste years on a man who doesn't want her."
"That's very generous of you," Maya said.
"I saw my mother do it. I wouldn't wish that kind of existence on any woman, not even the one who cost me my marriage."
"Well this is depressing," Maya said. "Change of subject ... one thing I wanted to ask. Gunner left so suddenly. Do you think it's because he knew it was over between you two for good since you accepted Carrington's proposal?"
"I think it's because he got the offer of a lifetime. The contract he landed with the city of Los Angeles will have him working for the next two to three years. He couldn't afford to turn it down."
"The fact that you're going to be married to somebody else had a little to do with it. I'd bet my bottom dollar on it," Maya insisted.
"Then it's a good thing he accepted. If distance is what he needs to accept that I've moved on, then I'm glad this happened for him."
"Sometimes a fresh start does wonders. And Cali is home for him; so I'm sure he's reconnecting with a lot of old friends."
"If you had told me a couple of years ago that you'd be a new mom and get engaged to be married to a bazillionaire, I wouldn't have believed it. Man, life can throw some damn curve balls!" Maya mused.
"Yes, it can. But I'm happy for every curve it has thrown me. When I look at my son and his father, I have to pinch myself. This kind of love Maya ... I feel guilty saying it, but it made what I felt for Gunner feel like puppy love. It scares me sometimes how much I love Carrington. And of course, what I feel for my son. I know every parent says it, but it's a love you can never know unless you have a child."
"I see it in you. You're like a whole different person. The same, but there's a depth there that wasn't there before," Maya noted.
"I know what you mean. I see it when I look in the mirror. I see what I used to see in my mother's eyes when she looked at me. A depth of love. It's true what they say: nobody loves you like your mother."
"Oh Bria. I am so happy for you. So, so happy for you."
"Me too," Bria smiled. Me too," she said, squeezing her friend's hand.
"Now, about this wedding?" Maya said.
"REALLY FATHER," ALEXANDRIA said as she peered at her baby brother in the hospital's nursery. "You can't hide from me how thrilled you are to have an official namesake."
Carrington Jebediah Shelby, II was born weighing in at 8 pounds and 11 ounces at 3:17 on a Tuesday morning.
"It wasn't exactly my idea," Carrington smiled. Bria practically insisted, and since my name includes your grandfather's, it just seemed right. But you were my first-born Alexandria. Nothing about a namesake can change that."
"Father stop worrying. I know I will always be your princess," Alexandria said. "And now we have a little prince in our lives and I couldn't be more thrilled. Especially as I see how happy you are."
"You mean that, don't you?"
"I know my happiness means everything to you father. That works both ways. I've never seen you as happy as I have these last couple of months. I hope it continues."
"Thank you sweetheart," Carrin
gton said. "Ready to go and see Bria," he said, giving his son another glance as his little chest heaved up and down in slumber."
"Yes, I want to congratulate her and see if she likes the flowers I sent."
"YOU'RE VERY KIND," Bria said, to Alexandria. "The flowers are beautiful.
"I wasn't sure what kind you liked, so I figured I couldn't go wrong with yellow roses," Alexandria remarked. "It's a happy color for a happy occasion, and who doesn't love a rose?"
"My sentiment exactly," Maya said, laughing as she pointed to the huge bouquet of white roses she'd come with.
"Great minds think alike," Carrington said. "You have women with excellent taste in your life, sweetheart," he said, kissing Bria on the forehead.
"And one man too," Bria said, eyeing the two dozen red roses on the stand right beside her bed.
Everyone burst out laughing.
"Now that the big delivery is out of the way," Maya said, "it's time to start planning for the big day."
"I'm glad you're here," Carrington said, "because she flat out refuses to set a date until she loses the baby weight."
"Girl when you got a man willing to put a big-ass – and I do mean big-ass – rock on your hand, you throw on a garbage bag and get the deed done," Maya said, admiring Bria's five-carat, princess cut diamond.
"There's no rush, and the deed will eventually get done."
"You all heard it. She promised," Carrington said, sitting on the side of the bed and holding Bria's hand.
"I did and I do. Besides, the most important thing that binds us is here. We are already a family," Bria said, tearing up as she looked from her fiance, to his daughter, to her best friend. "I have everything I ever wanted," she said.
Carrington looked into Alexandria’s eyes, which were teary, as was Maya’s. He squeezed Bria's hand tightly.
"Me too," Carrington said. "Me too."
End Notes
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Love after Betrayal: An Interracial, Billionaire Romance Page 23