Undoing

by L. L. Diamond

  “You are so strong,” he said while Alexander rocked back and forth with a giggle. “He will be crawling soon if he continues.”

  Elizabeth sighed. “And then he will be walking and talking. I look forward to it and dread it all at the same time. One day, he will not want me to cuddle him anymore.”

  “You have some time yet.” Fitzwilliam smiled while he picked up Alexander, this time holding him at his shoulder. “Perhaps you might marry and have more children after your mourning. You would be overrun if you cuddled them all.”

  She could not help but gape at him. What a thing to say in front of Georgiana? What if she asked questions?

  “Your Grace?” She turned her head to the butler. “The Bennets’ carriage has arrived.”

  Elizabeth stood and smoothed her gown. “Notify Viscount Carlisle and my sister. I shall receive my family here once they are inside.”

  The butler nodded and hurried off as Fitzwilliam stepped beside her. “Do not be nervous.”

  “Why should Lizzy be nervous?” Georgiana’s eyebrows were drawn together in the middle while she glanced between the two of them.

  “Only that her family can be rather boisterous compared to us,” he said.

  “They cannot be so bad.” Georgiana shrugged and pulled herself up from the floor. “Mary is not inappropriate.”

  Before Georgiana could say more, the sound of her mother and Lydia filtered in from the hall. The butler showed them into the drawing room, and Mrs. Bennet, as was her wont, headed straight for Alexander. “There is my grandson!” Alexander started, and his little hand clutched Fitzwilliam’s cravat tightly in his tiny fist. “And you must be Mr. Darcy.”

  Elizabeth closed her eyes and counted to five. “Mama, may I present Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy and his sister, Miss Georgiana Darcy. They are the duke’s cousins.”

  While Georgiana curtseyed and Fitzwilliam bowed, her mother reached for Alexander who shrank back further into Fitzwilliam’s embrace. The moment she touched him, he wailed as though someone poked him with a needle.

  “Why does he not care for me?”

  “He does not like anyone,” said Lydia, dropping down indecorously into one of the chairs. “He is the crossest baby I have ever known.”

  Mary stepped forward and took Alexander from Fitzwilliam, lightly bouncing him until he ceased his crying and stared at her. “He rarely cries. He is usually a rather content baby.”

  Lydia scoffed. “If he likes you, then he is beetle-headed.”

  Jane, who had only just walked in, stopped in her tracks. “Lydia!” she shouted in tandem with Elizabeth, who had to restrain herself from slapping her youngest sister.

  “What? Who would want to be around boring Mary?”

  “I do not find Mary boring,” said Georgiana. “We have spent several mornings together playing the pianoforte and talking. She is lovely.”

  Lydia’s eyes swiftly roved over Georgiana’s gown, and she sprang to her feet. “Where did you buy your gown? Do you like soldiers? I do so love an officer in a red coat!” Lydia inherited her mother’s penchant for analysing a woman’s wardrobe with a glance as well as a preference for officers. Mrs. Bennet had mentioned many times how heartbroken she was in her youth at the departure of Colonel Millar’s regiment.

  Georgiana, however, levelled Lydia her fiercest Darcy glare. “I have no interest in any gentleman. I am not yet out.” Her honesty brought a slight curve to Fitzwilliam’s lips, but Lydia rolled her eyes and flounced back to her chair.

  “Lord, but you are just as dull as Mary.”

  “Papa!” said Elizabeth with her arms stiff at her sides.

  Her father closed his eyes and exhaled noisily. “Lydia, if you cannot improve the silence in the room, pray do not speak.” He sat in a chair by the fire and looked expectantly around the room.

  Elizabeth stepped around Fitzwilliam to see her father better. “Is that all you can say?”

  Mama sat upon the nearest sofa with her chin held high. “What should he say, Lizzy? Lydia has always been such a good-humoured girl. She should not be restrained at her young age.”

  “She should behave with decorum and manners,” said Elizabeth. “This is not simply a family party. We do have guests.”

  “Lizzy?” said Mary. “We should bring Alexander to Millie to be cleaned up.”

  Elizabeth nodded and kissed Alexander’s forehead. “Yes, thank you for your aid.”

  After Mary and Georgiana departed, Fitzwilliam stepped forward. “I should refresh myself.” He held his soiled handkerchief in his hand. “Pray, excuse me.”

  Mama huffed. “Well, two prouder people I have never met.”

  Jane’s jaw had dropped long ago, but she blinked a few times as though she were waking up. “I beg your pardon, Mama?”

  “He hardly spoke a word, and the few instances Miss Darcy spoke, she meant to insult my Lydia.”

  “Lydia said my son was stupid and Mary boring. Georgiana was defending her friend and her cousin. You have also been unbearably rude to both Mr. Darcy and his sister.” Elizabeth turned to her father. “I married the duke to improve my sisters’ fortunes and marriageability, yet you allow Lydia to behave thus? Kitty has not spoken yet, but between my mother and Lydia, I am certain she cannot find the time to utter one word.”

  “You behave so high and mighty since you became a duchess.” Mrs. Bennet sniffed and straightened her skirts. “You think yourself above us.”

  Elizabeth crossed her arms over her chest. “The duke increased my sisters’ fortunes and insisted on their not coming out due to their immature behaviour. Jane’s manner was never an issue, but my younger sisters were. Mary needed to cease her study of sermons, and even at a young age, Lydia showed she spoke whatever thought entered her feeble mind. While Mary is much improved, my father has not done as he ought and kept you from further spoiling Lydia.”

  She glanced over to Kitty, who stood with her hands primly clasped in front of her. “Do you wish to be just like Lydia, or do you think for yourself? I have offered to send you to school, but Papa insists it is not necessary.”

  “What need does she have for school?” Mama’s voice sputtered and shrieked through the room. “I have taught her all she needs to know, just as I have Jane and Lydia.”

  “You instructed me on how to run a small estate, Mama,” said Jane. “I have had to learn from Mrs. Nichols more of what a larger estate entails. When we journey to my husband’s estate in Staffordshire, I shall be required to learn of that estate, and I learnt a great deal of how to entertain in London from Lady Matlock. She began teaching me when my husband and I became betrothed. Lizzy is correct that my sisters should have more than the knowledge gleaned from Longbourn.”

  “Did you not see Mr. Darcy’s expression?” Elizabeth pointed towards the door, which Nicholas had closed before he took his place by Jane’s side. “He is a man of consequence, yet he would never consider Lydia because of her behaviour. She is brash and rude, and when she comes out, she will shame us all.”

  “What need do I have of Mr. Darcy? I have a daughter who is a duchess and a daughter who will be a countess.”

  “Yet, my cousin’s income is greater than the Matlock earldom,” said Nicholas. “Do not discount him due to a lack of title. His grandfather was the second son of the Earl of Holderness, who inherited Pemberley, a profitable and grand estate in its own right. They are well-known for their management of their holdings and wealth. Darcy’s aunt married the Duke of Leeds, which is how he was related to Lizzy’s husband. He does not have a title, but he does not desire one. I truly believe he would refuse should one ever be offered.”

  “Then why are you not pressing Mary in his direction?” Elizabeth’s mother stood and began to bustle for the door when Jane stepped in front of her.

  “No, Mama. Mary has no interest in him, and he has no interest in her. I beg of you to heed my husband’s and Lizzy’s advice. They want what is best for this family, and the scene when you arrived was awful.”
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  Mrs. Bennet sat rigid and sniffed. “Then perhaps I should close my mouth and not say another word.”

  “If only that were possible,” muttered Mr. Bennet.

  Nicholas stepped forward and pointed to Lydia. “You will behave and be respectful as long as you are in my home, or you will not be welcomed back until you can. Do you understand?”

  Lydia rolled her eyes and sank into an unladylike position. “Yes.”

  He turned to Mrs. Bennet. “Your daughter paid a price for your family to have a better life. She has lived in higher society and knows of what she speaks. You would do well to heed her counsel. Her offer to send Kitty to school is generous. With Lizzy paying for Kitty’s schooling, I would be willing to send Lydia. Between my cousin and myself, I am certain we could find an appropriate place. She cannot remain unchecked and indulged as she has been. No man of standing would have her.”

  Lydia crossed her arms over her chest. “I want an officer. School will not help me find one.”

  “No man, officer or not, wants a silly wife,” said Mr. Bennet. “You will be respectful today, or I will send you to Longbourn. That includes you, Mrs. Bennet.”

  “What?” said Mrs. Bennet in a shriek. “What have I done?”

  “I could explain, but I doubt you would give my chastisement the thought it deserves.” He stood and stepped to Kitty. “You have been quiet. Do you want to go to school?”

  She peered to everyone in the room. Jane nodded vigorously as well as Elizabeth, who prayed she would accept. “You could ask Miss Darcy what it is like,” said Jane.

  “I am certain Mr. Darcy would help me to put you in the same establishment,” said Elizabeth. Hopefully, she would not wish to be with Lydia! “Georgiana would accept you, and she has a few friends too. You would not be alone.”

  “That does not sound terrible.” She gave a sort of half-shrug. “Lydia would go to a different school?”

  “Yes, she would,” said Nicholas with an unwavering tone. “Do you mind?”

  “No.” She peeked at Lydia and moved to a chair away from her younger sister. “I believe I would prefer it.”

  Lydia stuck her tongue out at Kitty. “Your tedious company is a bore anyhow.”

  “And you are a petulant little girl,” said Mr. Bennet. He took Lydia by the arm and hauled her up. “Mrs. Bennet, come. You must accompany this child on her return to Longbourn.”

  “I do not care.” Lydia ripped her arm from her father. “I shall walk to the Lucases or to my aunt and uncle Philips.”

  “You will not leave the house, or I will put you to work in the scullery.”

  “You would never,” gasped Mrs. Bennet. “She is a gentleman’s daughter!”

  “And it is time she behaved like one.” Mr. Bennet turned and gave a curt bow. “I shall return once I have given instructions to the Hills.”

  Elizabeth reached for her father’s hand. “Papa, you cannot simply send Mama home without explaining why.” Her mother might not be bright, but she would never learn if he did not take the time.

  After he followed his wife and youngest daughter from the room, Mary entered. “I saw Papa take Mama and Lydia to the carriage. Are they departing?”

  “Papa is,” said Jane. “Mama and Lydia are to remain at Longbourn. Perhaps you could tell Georgiana she may return.”

  “I shall fetch Darcy,” said Nicholas.

  “What a scene!” Elizabeth collapsed into a chair and put her face in her hands. “I am mortified.”

  Jane sat beside Elizabeth and grasped her hand. “Well, Fitzwilliam saw our family at its worst.” Her sister’s voice remained low while Kitty followed Mary. “If this did not frighten him away, I doubt much will.”

  “’Tis not amusing in the slightest.”

  “Oh, Lizzy,” said Jane. “You find humour in everything.”

  “Perhaps tomorrow or the next day, or even next year. Not today.”

  That evening, Elizabeth had arranged with Lalande to sneak into Fitzwilliam’s rooms. After everyone had retired and Alexander had eaten, Elizabeth took Alexander and a small pouch and followed Lalande through the servants’ corridor until she reached a door on nearly the opposite side of the house. Elizabeth knocked while Lalande backed away.

  His valet opened the door and started. “Your Grace?”

  “Forgive me for taking you unawares. I needed to speak to Mr. Darcy for a short time.”

  “You can allow her in, Bishop. ’Tis not like she has not been in my rooms before.”

  His man opened the door, and she stepped inside. Fitzwilliam stood by the fire in his shirtsleeves and breeches. “I did not mean to disturb you.”

  “You are always welcome.” He held out his arms for Alexander. “Particularly when you bring our son.”

  “Ah, I see where your loyalties lie.” She laughed while he held up Alexander and made him giggle. “You should know he only just ate.”

  Fitzwilliam brought him to his shoulder and kissed his head. “What was so important to bring you to my bedchamber rather than waiting until morning?”

  “I wished to give you this.” She held out the pouch with a shaky hand. “I hope you like it.”

  His forehead crinkled while his eyebrows knitted together. He took the pouch and manoeuvred so he could open it and remove its contents without relinquishing their son. When he held the miniature in his hand, he smiled so wide it lit his eyes unlike she had seen in so long. “This is wonderful.”

  “Miss Geddes also painted a larger portrait that has been sent to Worthstone. I asked her to paint a miniature with me wearing a colour other than black.” She does not typically paint something so small, but I believe she did an admirable job.

  “’Tis splendid. I shall keep it with me always,” he said, setting it on the mantle. He reached out and took her hand, pulling her closer to him. “Why were you so nervous to give this to me?”

  “My family made the worst of spectacles of themselves today. I am embarrassed, and I suppose afraid of what you might think of me.”

  “You are being silly.”

  “I beg your pardon?” she asked with a high tone.

  “You are always worried I shall change my mind. Even had your mother committed a hanging offence, you could not be rid of me. You are stuck with me. All you need to do is say yes at the proper time.”

  Something inside her settled, and she shifted into his arms. “I suppose I am a silly girl, but we have been apart more than we have been together. I try to remember the past as it gives me pleasure, but it does not mean I do not fret about the future.”

  His large hand rubbed up and down her back. “Stop fretting.”

  She drew away and held out her arms for Alexander, whose head now rested on his father’s shoulder. “I should return. He needs to be put to bed.”

  “Do not go so soon,” he said, pulling her back into his arms. It had been difficult enough to leave his embrace the first time. How would she do so again? “I do not expect anything. I simply desire some time with the two of you.”

  “He should go to sleep. Perhaps if we lie down with him between us?”

  When they were settled, they spoke of Kitty attending school with Georgiana, which in turn shifted to a conversation on Alexander’s inheritance, which shifted to a talk of London. When Elizabeth woke the next morning, she could not have said when she fell asleep. She only knew that Fitzwilliam slept on his side facing her, and Alexander was still dozing between them, having slept completely through the night.

  Chapter 25

  January 20th 1811

  Darcy House

  London

  Dearest Elizabeth,

  Georgiana is settled back at school, and Miss Catherine, though scared, kept her wits about her when she met the other girls. Georgiana assures me the young lady who shares a room with your sister is kind, so your sister should be well. You have said she has always been one to follow Miss Lydia. Perhaps this will give her the confidence to be more independent and make decisions for her
self instead of following her younger sister.

  I hope Carlisle has had similar good fortune in placing Lydia. The school he told me of came highly recommended by several of Lady Matlock’s friends, so I am certain she is in capable hands. You were correct to insist on her change. I know Christmas eve was difficult, but the conversation was desperately needed. Better now than after it was too late.

  I hope Alexander is well. Though the girls needed to be brought to school by a certain date, I hated leaving him ill with a fever. I know the apothecary indicated fevers are sometimes nothing more than teething, yet I do not find comfort in his words. Teething is considered a dangerous part of growth by many physicians, yet I would not have them bleed Alexander or lance his gums. Georgiana and I did well without such interventions. I hope Alexander will behave similarly. Pray write and let me know he is well. I shall not rest easy until I am certain.

  Tomorrow, I depart London for Pemberley. I know it is for the best, but I am pained by the distance the journey will take me from you and Alexander. I have missed you from the moment I kissed your hand goodbye, and I shall not be whole again until I kiss your hand once again in greeting. We are so close, my love. I promise to return should you or Alexander have need of me. I keep the miniature you gave me close to my heart. I shall likely ruin it, yet I cannot keep it anywhere else. I anticipate your next missive with bated breath.

  Yours most faithfully,

  Fitzwilliam

  February 8th 1811

  Pemberley

  Derbyshire

  Dear Carlisle,

  I received word from the investigator Thomas and I had trailing James. He is keeping company with none other than Richard. Neither has money to squander, so I do wonder what they are about.

  Darcy

  March 11th 1811

  Netherfield

  Hertfordshire

  Dearest Fitzwilliam,

  I know you cannot help but worry, you dear man. Alexander is well. The fever was mild—as they have all been since he began growing teeth. These illnesses have become a bit of a routine. He runs a fever for a night or two, and within a few days, a new tooth appears. I promise you he is healthy and happy. He is sitting up and has even pulled himself to stand once. At this rate, he will be walking long before I am ready!