Those Wonderful Toys: Preternatural Chronicles Book 7 (The Preternatural Chronicles)

by Hunter Blain

  My senses alerted me that something was coming my way, and I sidestepped right as a focused ball of hellfire the size of a bowling ball flew past me. The air wavered and crackled in pursuit of the ball, which slammed into a warehouse wall somewhere behind me.

  The night was briefly swallowed by light as an explosion sent a mushroom cloud of hellfire up behind me. I could feel the armor actively mitigating the heat that would have otherwise incinerated my skin and cooked my organs until they were beef jerky.

  From somewhere over another warehouse, I heard the faint cry of a female. But I told myself it was more of surprise than pain, so Meli was probably fine. Hopefully.

  Ulric rushed forward with a stern face right as his staff coalesced into his hand, the tip pointed directly at my heart.

  Ludvig flashed into my mind. The look of confusion on his face as the Spear of Destiny pierced his back. Then Hayley was there, standing in complete darkness within my mind, holding her stomach and sobbing uncontrollably.

  Pure, unbridled rage shot through my veins like a pressurized hose being thrown fully open in an instant.

  Mjolnir blurred into my left hand as I stepped forward, arcing the weapon through the air and sending a pillar of earth to slam into Ulric’s balls.

  His momentum was completely halted, which translated to thousands of pounds of force smashing into his pelvis. I knew the armor wouldn’t do an adequate job of protecting nonvital areas, such as his tiny fucking balls.

  Continuing forward with my other foot, I spun around and swung Mjolnir like a baseball bat while focusing on the air all around us.

  One after another, the warehouses down the line burst apart like a house of cards before an atomically powered leaf blower.

  The force of the wind slammed into Ulric from the side, and I quickly hoisted Mjolnir to the sky, channeling all of the raw power into a funnel and upward.

  Lightning cracked as the world tried to catch up to the sudden, violent shift in barometric pressure, wind direction, and air temperature.

  Clouds from all around began to pull in as my tornado reached the upper atmosphere and became self-sustaining. A dense wall of near-freezing water fell all at once, creating the perfect setting for our battle.

  Trees were yanked from the ground as the rest of the warehouses were disassembled bit by bit.

  With Mjolnir still pointed toward the sky, I grabbed the overabundance of building lightning and channeled it toward where Ulric was being flung around like a tennis shoe in an industrial dryer. Razor-sharp sheet metal was sucked up and began lashing at my maker, who screamed in indignant fury.

  Slamming my hammer on the ground, lightning bolts that were thicker than nature could make on its own slammed into Ulric over and over again.

  Like a shrieking meteor, Ulric was unceremoniously smashed into the ground, shattering concrete in an explosion of debris that flew in all directions for what had to be miles.

  With a flick of my hammer, the funnel was cut off where it touched the clouds and quickly diminished, leaving only the torrential downpour.

  The ground rumbled beneath my feet, and I cocked an eyebrow right as a mud-covered, bellowing Ulric burst through the concrete like a sea monster breaking through the calm surface of the ocean to destroy the hapless wooden ship; me being the ship.

  I brought my forearm across my chest, deflecting the spear that was aimed for my heart. The blade went through my armor as I moved, turning my wrist into one of those fancy appetizers at hoity-toity parties. I know they’re called whore-derves, but I refuse to call them that. Back to it.

  The blade cut into my breastplate as I continued the swing of my arm, throwing Ulric off balance.

  As he moved forward, I lunged down with my helmet and headbutted the bastard square in the nose. His armor tried to mitigate my attack, but Gabriel had taught me blunt force trauma from an opponent clad in celestial gear was incredibly effective. Blood rocketed from his crushed nose as his eyes rolled up for the briefest of moments, giving me renewed hope that I could beat my maker once and for all.

  The staff vanished as Ulric’s eyes regained focus, and he headbutted me right the fuck back. I saw white as my own nose crunched loud enough that I thought a gun had gone off right by my ears.

  Falling backward, I blindly reached out and cupped my hands behind Ulric’s head, trying not to let my grip slip on all the mud.

  I put my feet into his gut as we fell, and kicked out, rocketing him through the air like a cursing cannonball, all while I followed through with the roll and came up on my feet.

  As he crashed into the rising pool of water on the ground, an idea came to me.

  Bringing Mjolnir up with my nonskewered arm, I willed another blast of lightning to smash into Ulric right as I jumped several feet off the ground.

  Ulric saw the attack coming and pushed off the ground with one hand, throwing himself to the side for several yards right as the lightning struck. It was impressive.

  What wasn’t impressive was the fact he didn’t register landing in several inches of water.

  The lightning rushed in all directions, but the bulk of my attack traveled through the water and into Ulric’s body.

  Still in midair, I brought Mjolnir to point at Ulric, and willed all of the molecules around him to slow to a crawl.

  Ice quickly grew all around where the paralyzed Ulric was spasming from the electricity coursing through his flesh.

  As I reached my apex and began falling back toward the earth, I relented on my lightning attack—hoping I hadn’t hit Meli, wherever she was—and willed the air in front of me to freeze.

  Several dense, jagged spears of ice as tough as diamonds formed in the air. I slammed Mjolnir downward and sent a focused torrent of air to pick up my projectiles, watching with glee as they streaked impossibly fast toward Ulric.

  The prison I had crafted around him burst before my ice shards reached their destination, and worry constricted my throat as I saw my opponent vanish before my eyes.

  Something nagged at my mind, and without waiting for my conscious thought to make the decision, I instinctively pulled myself into the fourth dimension right as Ulric dashed through the air with his staff in hand.

  Rage poured from his sockets in the form of billowing hellfire, and I saw spittle flying from between his snarling lips, only for it to freeze in midair.

  Letting Mjolnir vanish, I summoned my gladius and parried the spear tip right as he lunged for my face.

  The Spear of Destiny missed impaling me, but dug a crevice in my face that scraped at my cheekbone and split my ear in two.

  I barked in pained surprise before slamming the hilt of my blade into Ulric’s exposed teeth, shattering several with my sword.

  I knew there wasn’t enough time to reposition the sword for a strike, so instead, I pivoted at my hips and bashed Ulric in his forehead with my elbow.

  The ground beneath our feet caved as if an invisible sphere the size of a car had been dropped from a mile up. Rain, which had been frozen in time, evaporated for several feet all around us, leaving behind a white, glowing fog. I knew, then, that it had been violently transformed into plasma.

  From where I struck Ulric with my elbow, he did a full tumble in the air, only to land on his feet once more, making me jerk my head back in surprise.

  His own armor-clad elbow came rocketing toward my face, and I swept my injured arm upward while ducking my head.

  His attack went over my skull, and I stepped forward, putting my shoulder into his armpit while my good hand reached around his body to latch onto my numb, injured arm.

  Throwing a leg out behind me, I pivoted my hips and threw Ulric off his feet, sending his legs rag dolling in the air while his head and torso traveled toward the ground.

  As we hit, another shock wave lashed out all around us for several yards, turning the concrete into lava and the rain into plasma.

  I let go of my busted arm and positioned my chest on top of his head while I moved around to pin one of his
arms beneath my knee. My other knee rested on his belly while I used my good hand to grab at the wrist of his other arm and then pinned it to the ground.

  Ulric was twisted at the waist and flailing about, but I had him in a crucifix move with both his arms pinned beneath me.

  Normally, I would use my free hand to either pummel the face of my opponent or will some sort of weapon to pierce their skull, but I only had one good arm, and it was busy at the moment.

  Once we had both halted our movements, I focused my will, and the world around us ferociously wavered, returning us to the third dimension where the simple act of striking one another wouldn’t threaten to level an entire city, or worse.

  Plasma and lava flew out in all directions as a deafening shock wave slammed into and through my skull, disorienting me.

  I must have shielded Ulric from most of the blast with my sexy body, and he took advantage of my temporary loss of motor function.

  He slipped from my grasp and smashed his elbow into the top of my forehead over and over again until I had no choice but to roll away.

  With both arms free, Ulric shot into a standing position, the lava at his feet being as bothersome as a warm pool of water to the powerful vampire.

  He strode forward, his staff coalescing in his hand, while I drooled on myself as I tried to crab walk away, my brain having severe trouble rebooting.

  “No!” I cried out drunkenly as I lifted my good arm to shield my face. Tactically, it was a stupid thing to do, but my body was reacting solely on instinct.

  “You fool,” Ulric shouted, blood streaking down his face and flinging off his chin with each aggressive word he spoke.

  It was then I had hope that he would monologue and give me a chance to regain my faculties.

  My eyes flicked to the skulls on his shoulders as he continued to stride forward.

  I’m scared, ricocheted throughout my brain in both Dawson’s and Joey’s voices. In the pages of the prophecy, Magni lay on the ground, dying, saying the same two words.

  The world went clear, and everything snapped into place.

  I willed a shield on my busted arm and swiped at the air as Ulric lunged. In my other hand, I willed my gladius back into existence. It roiled with vengeful heavenflame, wanting to punish the wicked man before me.

  Ulric saw my attack coming with widening eyes, but he had put too much rage into his downward strike and was losing his balance.

  As my sword cleared the distance seeking Ulric’s torso, my maker went forward with the momentum caused by his strike and began spinning in the air.

  My blade struck, but was guided out of the way as Ulric turned in midair, like trying to strike at a spinning punching bag with your strike going in the same direction of the rotation.

  Damage was done, but not enough to make me feel anything but more anger at being denied the blood I sought to spill.

  Ulric helped me get over my distress at failing by falling on top of me as my blade cleared his torso, and beginning to pummel my face with fists coated in hellfire.

  “That’s—” Punch. “—cheating!” Punch. “Ow!” Punch.

  I brought my shield up in time for Ulric to smash his fist into it, and I heard bones break in his hand. Joke was on me, though, because the force of his strike made the shield smack me in the face anyway.

  I was now flat on my back with Ulric standing on either side of my hips, raining punches with abandon.

  The metallic taste of my own blood flooded my mouth as I willed my shield away.

  I took another strike to the side of my face, breaking my cheekbone, but Ulric didn’t notice me snake one leg through his while the other came into position just behind his knee. Using my foot as leverage, I kicked at his pelvis while wrapping my arms around his ankle, throwing him completely off balance and sending him crashing to the ground in a sprawl.

  I didn’t let up, however, and torqued his ankle until the satisfying sound of breaking bones popped like a bag of Jiffy Pop over the stove.

  The sweet, sweet sound of Ulric shrieking in agony made me attempt to smile, only to realize my jaw and half of my face were broken.

  Maximum damage to his limb complete, I scrambled away from Ulric right as his staff coalesced again and was swiped at where I had just been.

  A clump of blood-matted beard dropped to the ground, and I brought my good hand to my neck, feeling how close he had come to just cutting my damn throat.

  Existential fear began to rise at almost having my head cut off, but I sent an executive order to morph that fear into fury.

  My gladius bloomed to life, and for the briefest of moments, I marveled at how both of our weapons almost seemed to know when to vanish, only to appear again at our call.

  Heavenflame roared furiously as I pointed my blade at Ulric and willed a torrent of fire like a solar flare from the sun itself.

  The attack smashed into Ulric’s spear, which he had begun twirling like a damn propeller as he got to his feet. Then the sonofabitch did something I couldn’t have predicted in a thousand years; he twirled the staff in front of him with one hand while his free one summoned his own gladius dripping with hellfire.

  Ulric grinned with a mouth that belonged on a shark before it faltered as he tried to put weight on his broken ankle. That was all the hope I needed.

  I willed a large shield over my gimp arm again while dropping my gladius and immediately willing Mjolnir to replace it. Before the last of my flames could be batted away by Ulric, I sent a column of condensed earth to crash into the back of his working leg, forcing him to try and counter by putting weight on his bad one.

  As I’d hoped, he crumbled to the knee of his broken ankle, and I rushed forward, bashing him in the face with my shield like a supercharged battering ram.

  The sound of crunching bone and clanging shield almost made me want to moan with delight.

  Ulric had other plans, however, and stabbed me in my left quad with his hellfire-coated gladius.

  The pain was exquisite. I just can’t possibly think of another word to describe what I felt as the hellfire ate at my flesh from the inside out. In that brief sliver of time, I found it odd that I would think of pain as “exquisite,” but it was a level of agony that bordered on an out-of-body experience.

  On reflex, I slashed downward with my shield while willing the edge to become razor sharp.

  Ulric’s arm plopped to the ground as he gasped in shock, and I used Mjolnir to bash him in the side of the face, crushing one of his eye sockets.

  The hellfire had begun climbing up my body, and I dropped both manifestations as Ulric fell to the ground. Luckily, I had knocked him silly, and he lost focus of his manifestation, making it vanish from my leg. But the fire remained, hungry and eager to consume.

  I dropped to the rain-soaked ground and began rolling around, feeling my leg go more and more numb as the seconds ticked.

  After what felt like minutes, I lay still in a smoking heap, gasping for breath. The air smelled like burnt flesh. The rain hurt as it gently landed on my exposed burns. The armor had done an outstanding job keeping me from completely conflagrating, but I had a sneaking suspicion that hellfire had been designed to counter celestial armor. I had used up an entire century’s worth of luck when I had made it rain earlier.

  Unable to stop myself, I began to sob, bringing my blackened hands up to my face and covering my eyes. The smell was so much worse, and I opted to drop my hands back to my sides and just stare up at the black clouds.

  The sound of a limb flatly striking water caught my attention, and I managed to lift my head to see Ulric pushing himself up. The fight was not done.

  “Fuck...you...” I breathed out as I tried to roll onto my side and push myself up. My leg was nothing but deadweight now, and I willed a giant pair of bolt cutters into my hands. It was then when I remembered I couldn’t use one of my hands.

  “Lilith damn it,” I moaned as I let the manifestation morph into a cane. I probably could have just used a knife and sliced my
way through, but that would have taken time I didn’t have.

  Checking my reserves, I saw that both the armor and my own well were dangerously low. After a quick system ping, I understood that shifting to—and then fighting in—the fourth dimension had used a lot of my celestial batteries. My own well was empty from the immense damage I was sustaining.

  My face throbbed. My leg throbbed. My arm throbbed. Everything throbbed, damn it!

  As the rain started to let up, Ulric spit up a glob of blood and leveled his gaze at me. Though he tried to fight it, I could tell he was as exhausted as I was.

  “You give up?” I growled factitiously.

  “Oh, we are only just getting started, child,” Ulric responded as he willed some sort of splint over his busted ankle, allowing him to put his full weight on it.

  I gulped, not liking the feeling I was getting.

  Ulric brought his arms out to his sides and slowly started raising them to the sky while he let out a maniacal laughter that gave me chills.

  The ground rumbled beneath my feet, almost throwing me off balance and forcing me to lean heavily on my cane. Taking Ulric’s cue, I manifested my own splint down my numb, smoldering leg. It meant I could only move like an action figure from the ’80s, but it allowed me to let my cane vanish.

  A frame burst through the ground behind Ulric, pushing upward and toward the sky. It was enormous, as if it had been a doorway made for elephants to ride through side by side.

  Narrowing my eyes and clenching my aching jaw, I saw the frame was made completely of decimated bodies. Blood flowed around splintered bones and rent flesh, defying gravity as if the whole thing was sealed. For some reason, I thought of a lava lamp where the clumps of wax floated through the liquid.

  As it reached its full height, a mound of earth formed underneath, lifting the door further into the sky.

  Lightning cracked in the black clouds above, but it was the wrong color.

  My mind flashed back to my time in Hell when I came across the smaller doorways that looked exactly like this and were powered by electricity.

  I gasped, knowing what was about to come, and willed Mjolnir into my grasp, hoisting it to the sky. I focused on dissipating the clouds, not allowing the formation of electricity.