The Hesperian Dilemma

by Colin Waterman

  It’s time to increase the pressure on Prof. Can you set up a mind-meeting with Kai, Atherlonne and Cetania? Oh, and count me in too, projected Maura.

  Prof was swimming near the bottom of the sea. He was naked underneath his academic cap and gown. He was breathing water in and out through his nose. It was warm and tasted like something familiar – something sexual. A dolphin beckoned him with its flipper. He followed it into a cavern, which glowed with the light of flaming torches. The dolphin was clearly male. It dipped its head into a jar and brought out a wriggling eel, which it wrapped around its penis. Electric arcs tracked down the eel’s body and the dolphin writhed with pleasure. A female dolphin swam over to Prof, holding an eel in her mouth. She offered it to him but he shook his head. Then she beckoned him to swim further into the cave, through stalactites and stalagmites, the way ahead lit by candles. Leona stood by an open fire, wearing a Maasai shuka.

  ‘Come to me, slave,’ she said. As he stepped out of the water, she removed his gown and mortar board and flung them in the fire. She slapped his cheek, and the sound echoed down the passageways.

  ‘You’re a puppet – OPDEO’s puppet,’ she said. ‘You no longer seek knowledge. You do only your masters’ bidding. You’ve helped them hunt down the remaining Thiosh.’

  ‘It wasn’t my fault,’ pleaded Prof. ‘They said I’d be charged with treason if I didn’t help them. I had no choice.’

  ‘You’re a bastard, a collaborator, a coward, a traitor!’ At each word, she slapped his face harder than before. ‘You do not know the evil you serve.’ Prof fell to his knees, sobbing.

  ‘Stop whimpering. I’m giving you a chance to redeem yourself. Check on all the missile launches during the last thirteen months. Find out all you can and be ready to report to me.’

  Prof got out of bed. He took a hypodermic needle from the bathroom cabinet, dropped it on the floor and took another. He dissolved more powder and injected it. Then he showered vigorously. He got dressed and left his apartment, leaving his pre-timed breakfast in the nanowave cooker.

  It was only a short walk. He swept through the outer office, nodding as his office girls chorused ‘Good morning’, shut his door and flicked it locked. Once his com-pad had booted, he used his global search app to find the OPDEO launch history. Then he shook his head and smiled. The last recorded launch was a test three years ago. His smile turned into a long, high-pitched laugh. His office supervisor peered through the window of his door, and then turned away.

  He put his feet up on his desk and opened his comp-mail messages. He deleted half a dozen and then began a reply to the Sustainability Unit regarding the edibility of indigenous aquatic craniates. But he left that unfinished, opened another tab, and typed ‘munitions’ into the search app. Pages of inventories flashed across his screen. Then he entered ‘stock withdrawal’ as a refined search. He stared at the screen for a long time. Three interplanetary missile assemblies had been withdrawn six months previously. He clicked on the ‘build component’ hyperlink and opened a spreadsheet of data. He muttered the subheadings under his breath as he paged through the tables, pausing at ‘Warhead/GX’. He loosened his tie and undid the top button of his shirt. The cursor began to oscillate on his screen. He let go of the trackball and the cursor stopped shaking. He tried more keywords: ‘GX’, ‘Warhead G’, ‘G Warhead’. But every time his search only brought up the same message: ‘Error: File Name Invalid’.

  Prof swore under his breath. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck.’

  The League

  Hi Maura, are you there?

  I am, Geoff, I’m always here.

  Oh, good. I just wanted to tell you Clodagh grins each time she sees me now. And she can really bat those dangling toys Chen made for her. It’s not just chance, she’s doing it on purpose.

  That’s great! I’m glad you’re enjoying fatherhood. Can you give some thought to how I can interact with her? Could you make me a talking head on a screen? She might get to like me too.

  Sorry, I get so excited talking about Clodagh. I’m probably trampling all over your feelings.

  Well, I brought this on myself. But don’t stop being excited, Geoff, I want to feel it through you. Just think of me as a working mother. And there’s something I want to tell you. I’ve figured out how to do the next stage of the jump, so we can give Zakristan his computers back soon. But I still need to solve the problem of what’s inside the G-bomb warheads.

  Can you use your TK? Apply a gentle force and map what it looks like?

  Well there’s some sort of pressure vessel. I can push against the walls. But inside the shell, there’s nothing to press against. It’s a complete vacuum.

  D’you mean like outer space? Geoff asked.

  Even outer space has low density hydrogen and helium plasma, and a bit of dust. There isn’t any of that inside the core of the warheads. It’s just a total void.

  That’s weird, I’ll see if we can dig up anything from Europa. Atherlonne and Cetania have found a way of giving Prof designer dreams.

  I know, thought Maura. It should be having some effect soon.

  Sitting at a desk surrounded by no less than five screens, Geoff opened the proceedings.

  ‘I now have visual and audio contact with you all. Welcome, and thank you for making time to join the Colloquium. I’m Geoff Kirby, a former consultant to the Unified Nations. I anticipate that this will be the first of regular online conferences. My objective today is simply to provide a forum for you to get to know each other better. Let me begin by greeting General Courtney Watkins at the Septagon. Also on screen are Shan Chonglin and Yul T’an at the Potala Palace, Lhaza. My colleagues to right and left of me respectively are Kai Yongze, whom most of you know, and Chen Khan, also a former Khitan celestonaut. My Hesperian colleague wearing what I believe is called a bush hat is the eminent Oztralian astronomer, Dr Wallis Frazer.’

  Wally smiled and touched the brim of his hat.

  Geoff continued with his introductions. ‘We humans are, of course, only too familiar with the robo-troop armies who attacked both the Federation and the Empire. They were products of the advanced technological civilisation that we call the Thiosh. It’s my pleasure to welcome two Thiosh representatives with us today. The Thiosh–Human War was clearly a disastrous episode in the history of our planet, and I believe it’s the earnest wish of my Thiosh friends, Atherlonne and Voorogg, to win your trust, and to move forward in a constructive way to bring mutual benefit to humans and Thiosh alike.’

  Two black, cigar-like shapes appeared on screen, swimming in slow circles in an aquamarine pool. Subtitles appeared.

  Voorogg:

  My name is Voorogg. Thiosh rebel, guilty of murder, theft, and heinous crimes against the human population of this planet. I thank you for this opportunity to offer my condolences to all who lost their friends and loved ones in the war, against the robots under my command. I feel the greatest sorrow for the harm I caused through my unwarranted attack. I have no reason to expect you to accept my facile words of shameful guilt. I take responsibility for all my crimes without attempting to excuse myself. Nor do I seek avoidance of the punishment that I deserve. I urge you to accept my leader Atherlonne, most honoured consort of my noble lord, the Saazat Mettravar, who lost his life during my cyber-onslaught on the dome built by the humans on our blessed moon; the Saazship now must pass to Atherlonne. Her wishes for you all have only been honourable, benign and generous.

  ‘Thank you, Voorogg, for your opening statement,’ said Geoff. ‘The agreements we reach between us are potentially the most important ever to be discussed by humans. I shall not prejudge any outcome at this stage, but I will say that it’s my hope that we shall only look forward, not back.’

  Geoff patched another of his screens so that all members could see it, and spoke into his microphone. ‘My human colleagues will notice that a more familiar sea creature, of the genus Tursiops, has joined our two Thiosh friends. Yes, she’s a bottlenose dolphin, and a very distinguished one. Some of y
ou may be surprised if I tell you that, twenty thousand years ago, dolphins organised themselves in a sophisticated technological society on Earth, but they voluntarily gave it up to live a natural life in our oceans. However, they retained formidable mental powers, and these were instrumental in ending the Thiosh–Human War. Thanks to Wally’s expertise, we have engineered a way of communicating with the revered leader of Tursiop society, Cetania, here with us today.’

  Cetania:Hi.

  ‘Please, ladies and gentlemen, Thiosh and dolphin,’ said Geoff, breaking into a rising hubbub of vocal sound, ‘don’t all speak at once. I shall end this session today with a free discussion forum, during which you can ask as many questions as time allows. It will be of benefit to us if we become familiar with each other in our different biological domains. The purpose of this session is only to put you in touch with each other. Later, we must discuss matters of the greatest importance, but we must get to know each other first. To this end, please allow me to finish the introductions. There is someone else I want to mention, who is party to these proceedings. She is Dr Maura O’Hara, an experienced microbiologist and oceanographer. Unfortunately, for technical reasons, I’m unable to show her on screen at present but, I assure you, she will play a crucial role in our future undertakings. She also will be our secretary. You okay with that, Maura?’ he asked vocally, followed by a mental request for her to project her answer as subtitles.

  Maura:

  Sure, I’m keeping up with you all. I’m just a bit worried about the title of your group, The League of Sentient Beings.

  ‘Why’s that?’ asked Geoff. ‘Oh, it’s the sentient bit? Perhaps we’ll just call it the League. I’m going to open the discussion forum now. You will have a great deal to say to each other, I know, but please direct your questions and comments through me.’

  As soon as he could, Geoff slipped back to the lab and booted up his com-pad.

  Hi Maura, have you got a minute? he projected.

  I’ve possibly got until the end of time, Geoff, if that’s what I choose.

  Oh, right, that’s good, I think. I want to try out some software. It’s based on a recent photo of you, but I’ve CGI-ed the movements to synchronise with your speech, and I used some sound recordings to get your voice print. Some of it’s from the bathyscaphe, so it might come out a bit serious sounding, but it should be a start.

  Oh, that’s grand. I like the picture. How do I use it?

  Well, when you project your words, I’d like you to transmit the binary code that created them. If you stream that as input data into my com-pad, I’ll route it to my talking-head program. D’you want to try it?

  ‘Sure,’ said Maura’s talking head. ‘Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He’d stop at nothing to avoid them.’

  Hm, I suspect the software works better than your joke.

  Did you write this program so I can talk to Clodagh, and she can see what I look like? Thank you, Geoff, it’s a wonderful present.

  I’m glad you like it. But I think we can also use it at meetings of the League.

  Prof had stayed up for forty-eight hours. He was afraid to go to sleep. His hair had become almost completely white and his skin was grey. Tired of pacing up and down, he slumped into an armchair in his apartment. Almost immediately his nightmare returned. Once again, he found himself in the cave, his pale naked body illuminated by the flickering firelight.

  ‘Well?’ said Leona. She was holding a whip. ‘What have you found out? What was in the missiles?’

  ‘They had warheads designated “GX”. But there are no data on the network to explain what they are. They must be top secret.’

  ‘Come on, Prof. You’re supposed to be intelligent. Think. How can you get the information?’

  ‘There’s a rumour that classified documents are now produced manually. They must be held in the OPDEO strongrooms. Their security systems are unbreakable.’

  ‘Pathetic slave,’ said Leona. She slashed the whip around his body and drew him towards her. ‘The warheads are a new weapon. OPDEO may put drawings and reports in the strongroom, but they wouldn’t carry out design calculations manually. They would use computers offline. There will have to be electronic data somewhere. Find it, slave. Remember how the dolphins play games with electric eels. It will help you concentrate.’

  Prof woke up and went to the bathroom for another fix.

  Gorgonblast

  Geoff welcomed the members of the League to the second Colloquium. He ran through the names of those online and each gave their salutation in his or her respective language. In her role as Secretary, Maura recorded greetings from Saazat Atherlonne, Cetania, Shan Chonglin, Dr Wallis Frazer, Yul T’an, and General Courtney Watkins. Voorogg had sent his apologies and given his endorsement to any and all proposals made by the new Saazat. Chen Khan also apologised for his absence, necessitated by babysitting duties. Dr Geoff Kirby was recorded as the facilitator of the meeting.

  ‘I’m pleased to say that our secretary Dr Maura O’Hara is onscreen today,’ said Geoff. ‘I could have introduced her as our “permanent secretary”, as she is more permanent than most us. At the last meeting, many of you registered a degree of shock when you heard that Cetania’s ancestors were once part of a highly sophisticated technological society. Today we need to discuss issues you may consider to be even more surprising. Firstly, I believe you’re all aware there are beings in our universe known as Virtuons. Many of you will be amazed to hear that Maura herself has recently Virtuonised.’

  Geoff picked out Wally’s voice over the sudden eruption of exclamations and questions.

  ‘Okay, let’s deal with that news first,’ said Geoff. ‘What was your comment, Wally?’

  ‘Struth. You sure that’s dinky-di? Maura was just a slip of a girl when I saw her last. You’d better explain, mate.’

  ‘Perhaps I should explain myself,’ said Maura’s image. ‘As you know, I went to Europa as a research scientist, and Geoff and I discovered the existence of Thiosh. Since then, the feckin’ OPDEO have worked their bollocks off, trying to destroy every living Thiosh. Not only that, but the total feckin’ eejits are about to hit Earth with a new weapon of mass destruction. I’m not sure how, but I’m going to stop them.’

  ‘Thank you, Maura,’ said Geoff. ‘I think that’s a fair summary of the situation. I’m sorry that we’ve had to break the news in this way to Yul and Shan. Everyone else, I believe, was aware of this threat.’

  ‘I heard something like this from the Septagon,’ said General Watkins. ‘They’d received a message from Dr Wallis here. No one understood it, and it began a huge row when they challenged OPDEO. Our colony on Europa seems to have mutinied, and they answer the Septagon’s questions with gobbledygook. I’m frankly horrified to think their attack on the Earth is a real threat.’

  ‘So, tell me, please, what are these new weapons?’ said Shan.

  ‘They’re gravity bombs,’ said Geoff. ‘OPDEO launched three high-speed missiles, which discharged six warheads each. They’re all on a collision course with the Earth. The ETA is less than three weeks away.’

  ‘How much damage will they do?’ asked Yul.

  ‘The physics suggest they will warp space–time causing singularities. In less than a picosecond, they’ll seed black holes which will either crush the Earth to infinite density, or tear it apart by tidal forces.’

  ‘Ta ma de,’ said Yul. ‘Can we stop them?’

  ‘We’re working on that,’ said Geoff. ‘Atherlonne and Cetania will get the design details from Europa so that Maura can defuse them. We already know they contain vacuum cylinders.’

  ‘A vacuum doesn’t sound very dangerous,’ said Watkins.

  ‘This is not a normal vacuum,’ said Kai. ‘It is a total void.’

  ‘In our religion,’ said Shan, ‘the void is reality and matter is an illusion. Each is anathema to the other.’

  ‘I shall call another meeting in two days’ time,’ said Geoff. ‘I’m
confident we can stop the missile attack. However, as a contingency, those of you who represent the Hesperian and Khitan authorities should investigate the possibility of launching a rocket to Mars. It should be big enough to contain the minimum constituents for our civilisation to live on another planet.’

  ‘Like Noah’s Ark,’ said Watkins.

  ‘We hope it won’t come to that,’ said Geoff.

  After the meeting, Kai walked with Geoff back to their accommodation.

  ‘I didn’t want to be negative at the meeting,’ said Geoff, ‘but the Septagon are bombarding us with messages. For a start, they don’t know where we are, and they’re desperate to meet us. And they keep asking where the warheads will hit. They’re talking about evacuating the cities that survived the war. How do we tell them you can’t run away from a black hole?’

  ‘I think we have put General Watkins in a difficult position. He has had to warn his colleagues, but I suspect he has not told them the true nature of the warheads. He is letting them cling to the hope we can survive the impact. Similarly, he must be reluctant to explain our best hope lies with a Virtuon. They would not believe him.’

  ‘I never thought I would say this,’ said Geoff, ‘but I think Watkins had better let the Septagon think the warheads are fusion bombs, on course for the main oceans. It’s a lie, but there’s no point in starting a senseless panic.’

  ‘Sun Tzu said “All warfare is based on deception”. Sometimes you have to deceive your own side,’ said Kai.

  As a department head, Prof had certain privileges. In particular, he had access to the confidential personnel data in Human Resources files. He found the résumé for Clive Alexander. He had gained a first in Physics from Oxford and had written his PhD thesis on ‘Operations Analysis and Capability Development’, code words for weapons design. If anyone had worked on the G-bomb project, it had to be him.