Beautifully Hurt (Beautifully Broken)

by Michelle Heard

  “You okay?” Eli asks, giving my hand a squeeze.

  I nod quickly. “Yeah.”

  My eyes lower to our hands, and seeing his strong fingers brushing against my skin, sends another wave of dizzying emotions rushing through me.

  I wish I could tell Katie right now. She’s going to be so happy for me.

  I take another deep breath, trying my best to calm my racing heart. It’s no use, though, because my emotions are all over the place.

  Eli brings us to a stop at Tidewater Plaza, and climbing out of the truck, he takes my hand and weaves his fingers through mine as we walk toward the Walmart.

  I glance down, looking at our joined hands, and then my eyes lift up to Eli’s face.

  So surreal.

  His thumb brushes over my skin as he looks down at me. “Sure you’re okay?”

  I nod quickly. “Just trying to process this. I didn’t expect it… ah… you know.”

  A slight frown forms on his forehead. “Me asking you to dinner?”

  “Yeah.” Feeling awkward and inexperienced, I begin to ramble, “I was hoping for it to happen but never really believed it would.”

  God, Quinn. Shut up.

  I pinch my eyes shut, shaking my head while hoping the ground would just swallow me for admitting that to Eli.

  Eli tugs me to a stop right in front of the entrance to the Walmart.

  I give him an apologetic look for my weird behavior. “I’m sorry.”

  He lifts his other hand to the back of my neck, and he pulls me to his chest. Pressing a kiss to the top of my head, he says, “Nothing to be sorry about. As long as I’m not moving too fast for you.”

  I pull back, my eyes darting to his face. “God, no. Definitely not.”

  His lips curve into a hot smile. “Then why are you uncomfortable?”

  “I’m not. I’m just overwhelmed.”

  “You want this, right? A relationship with me?” He asks.

  Summoning all my courage, I whisper, “More than anything. It’s all I’ve wanted for the past seven years.”

  Eli’s intense gaze locks with mine. “Is that why you’re always nervous around me?”

  I nod, my mouth going bone dry.

  He pulls me back to his chest, and then I feel his breath skimming over my ear. “If only I’d known.” He presses another kiss to the side of my head. “I like you a hell of a lot, Quinn. Have for quite a while. Don’t be nervous around me anymore. Okay?”

  I nod against his chest, my relief and happiness so intense I don’t think there are words to express how I feel.

  “And I’m in this for the long haul.” Eli pulls back, looking down at me. “Ready to do some shopping?”

  “Yeah,” I say, grinning at him.

  He lets go of my hand and grabs a cart, then we walk into Walmart.

  “What do you want to get for the house?” I ask as I glance around us.

  “Anything that will add warmth to the house. That’s why you’re here.”

  “I can’t just decorate your house,” I laugh.

  “Yeah, you can.”

  With my teeth tugging at my bottom lip, I glance up and down the aisles until we reach the home section. I look at a couple of rugs then ask, “How about this rug? It’s abstract, so it won’t show dirt easily.”

  “Okay.” Eli grabs the rug and shoves it into the cart.

  “You’re really okay with it?” I ask.

  “I’m trusting your taste.”

  Crap, no pressure.

  I keep walking, careful to point out an item to Eli, scared he’ll keep loading things into the cart.

  When we get to the lamps, I stare at a shelf lamp. “You can put some plants or candles or a framed photo on the shelves. It will look pretty.”

  Without a word, Eli places one in the cart.

  “You’re really trusting me to not make a mess of your house?”

  “Yeah.”

  I give him a playful grin. “Hmm… you might end up regretting this.”

  “I’ll take my chances.”

  ELI

  By the time we’re done, Quinn’s much more relaxed.

  I’m still processing the fact that she was just nervous around me because she’s liked me for… fuck… seven years?

  How did I not pick up on that?

  I always just thought Quinn was skittish by nature.

  Again, a smile tugs at the corner of my mouth because knowing she’s had feelings for me for so long fills my heart with warmth.

  Damn, if I had known, I would’ve made a move much sooner. Probably as soon as I returned from serving in the military.

  I load our purchases onto the back of my truck and ask, “What do you want for dinner?”

  “Anything.” Quinn picks up the throw pillows we got for the couches. “Can you cook? I don’t mind making dinner.”

  “I’m no chef, but I won’t poison you either,” I joke.

  “Surprise me,” she says before placing the pillows in the cab.

  When we’re done loading everything, we climb into the truck. Taking hold of Quinn’s hand, I bring it to my mouth and press a kiss to her skin. “Thank you for helping me.”

  Quinn lifts her eyes to mine, and now that I know about the past seven years, I see the hope and dreams in her big green eyes.

  Christ. I could slap myself upside the head.

  The way she looks at me, as if I’m everything her heart desires, makes a possessiveness overwhelm me.

  And jealousy.

  She better never look at another man that way.

  “What’s wrong?” Quinn asks.

  “Just kicking myself for never seeing how you felt about me.” I shake my head. “I’ll make up for the lost time.”

  Quinn gives me a tender smile. “It’s not lost time. Not to me.”

  “Why?”

  Her cheeks growing pink tells me she feels vulnerable, as she admits, “Because how I felt about you… developing my first crush… falling in love… it matters to me. How I feel about you is a big part of my life.”

  Christ, my heart.

  I pull her into a hug and take a deep breath of her soft floral scent. “You matter to me. More than you seem to know.”

  I’m going to make all her dreams come true if it’s the last thing I do.

  Pulling back, I clear my throat. “Seat belt.”

  Quinn lets out a chuckle. “I’m getting the hang of this.”

  “Just want my girl to be safe.”

  The smile on her face grows, and I watch as my words sink in, making happiness sparkle in her eyes.

  God help me, this girl’s going to be the death of me.

  I drive us home, and after we’ve unloaded everything, I ask, “Would you mind putting everything…” I gesture around the living room, “wherever you want it? I’ll get started with dinner.”

  “Okay.” Quinn glances around the room, and then she grabs the rug.

  With a grin stuck to my face, I head to the kitchen. I wash my hands before grabbing all the ingredients I’ll need while silently thanking my dad for teaching me how to cook.

  My mom’s not good in the kitchen, but give her a garden, and she’ll turn it into nothing short of paradise.

  I take out a large pot and start to make jambalaya, combining all the ingredients. I bring it to a boil, then let it simmer. Soon the aroma fills the kitchen, and feeling today needs to be celebrated, I open a bottle of wine so it can breathe.

  I set the table and even add one of the scented candles mom gave me, hoping it will lend a romantic mood to the atmosphere.

  When the food’s almost ready, I walk to the living room and peek inside. Quinn’s staring at the shelf lamp before moving it a couple of inches. Taking a step back, she stares at it again, then whispers, “Perfect.”

  I glance over the area and have to admit, the new additions make the living room look a hell of a lot better.

  “See, I was right to trust you.”

  Quinn’s eyes snap to me, then she l
ooks at everything again. “Do you like it?”

  “I love it. Come, dinner’s almost ready.” Walking back into the kitchen, I pull out a chair, saying, “Take a seat.”

  “Wow,” Quinn exclaims. “This looks amazing.”

  I plate our food then set it down on the table before lighting the candle and switching off the lights. Taking a seat, I reach for the wine and pour some into the glasses I set out earlier. “I hope you enjoy it.”

  “I’m sure I will.” Quinn’s eyes rest on me. “After all, you made it.”

  She picks up a fork, and scooping some up, she takes a bite. I watch her the same way she watched me when I was tasting her cupcakes.

  A mischievous expression lights up her eyes as she takes another bite, paying me back for making her wait earlier.

  “I deserve that,” I chuckle.

  She covers her mouth as she laughs and then swallows. “It’s perfect, Eli. I love it.”

  Taking hold of my wine glass, I lift it. Quinn does the same, and then I say, “Here’s to the most beautiful woman in Southport having dinner with me.”

  Her smile widens. “To dreams coming true.”

  After taking a sip of the wine, I tease her, “You have to tell me about these dreams.”

  Letting out a burst of awkward laughter, Quinn shakes her head. “I’ve already told you a lot today.”

  “Seven years?” I ask. “You were…” I frown, then widen my eyes, “fourteen?”

  Quinn nervously tucks some hair behind her ear. “You were a senior.”

  “First crush?” I ask, and for some reason, her answer is important to me.

  Quinn nods, and my chest fills with satisfaction. I have to stop myself from asking about her other firsts, not sure how I’ll feel if she’s shared them with someone else. Not that I’ve been a saint, so I’d rather avoid the topic.

  I shake my head as I let out a chuckle. “I never caught on.” Giving her a pointed look, I say, “You’re good at hiding things.”

  We continue to eat, stealing glances at each other. The atmosphere is intimate, anticipation tiptoeing around us.

  When we’re done eating, I pour some more wine, making sure to stay under the limit so I can drive Quinn home.

  Relaxing back against the chair, I take a sip, and then my eyes lock with Quinn’s. “What are you thinking?”

  “How much I’m enjoying this. Dinner was amazing. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” I reach for her hand and brush my fingers over hers.

  A ringtone sounds up from the living room, and Quinn pulls her hand from mine. “It’s probably Katie or my dad.” She rushes out of the kitchen, and then I hear her say, “Hi, I’m having dinner with Eli. I’ll call you when I get home.” There’s a moment’s silence, then she murmurs, “It’s… I can’t talk now. I’ll call you later. Okay?”

  “It was Katie,” Quinn says as she comes to sit down again.

  “I bet she’s curious.”

  Quinn chuckles as she picks up her wine glass. “You have no idea. She’s expecting a detailed report.”

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “What are you going to tell her?”

  The cutest smile tugs at Quinn’s lips. “That today was amazing.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” I twirl the glass in my fingers, then ask, “Tell me something about you I don’t know.”

  Quinn thinks for a moment, then says, “We live in a small town. I’m sure you know everything about me.”

  “What makes you smile?”

  Her mouth instantly curves up. “You.”

  I let out a chuckle. “What else.”

  “The little things in life. Looking at the stars with Katie. My dad’s truck pulling up to the house. Hearing someone laugh.”

  I fall deeper for this woman.

  Quinn shrugs, then asks, “And you? What makes you smile?”

  “You,” I tease her, then I add, “My family.”

  Chapter 7

  QUINN

  It’s real.

  I’m dating Eli.

  It’s been a week, and it still hits me every now and then that we’re a couple.

  Katie screamed my ear off when I told her the good news.

  Every morning Eli stops at The Green Leaf to bring me a vanilla latte before heading across the road to open the hardware store.

  I was in love with him before we started dating, but now I’m just floating on cloud nine, my feet hardly touching the ground.

  There’s no stopping my emotions that are growing stronger at the speed of light. It’s overwhelming, making it hard to focus on my work or anything else for that matter.

  I let out a dreamy sigh, and then Katie also sighs. We’re both sitting at the counter, just staring at the flowers.

  “Thinking about Eli?” she asks.

  “Yeah.” A couple of seconds later, I ask, “Thinking about Jason?”

  “Yeah.” We both begin to laugh. “We’re so silly.”

  I turn my gaze to my best friend. “We’re happy.”

  Katie takes hold of my arm and rests her cheek against my shoulder. “So very happy.”

  “I think I’ll just spontaneously combust when Eli finally kisses me.”

  Katie begins to laugh again. “You’ll be fine.”

  “Just thinking about it has my stomach fluttering up a storm.”

  My comment has Katie admitting, “I wish I could get a do-over with Jason. I was so focused on not being the worst kisser ever that I didn’t take in how it felt.”

  “That’s not what you told me,” I tease her. “I got a detailed description of Jason’s tongue, which was a little traumatizing, to be honest.”

  Katie playfully shoves my arm. “So mean.” Then she grins at me. “But damn, the man knows what to do with his tongue.”

  “Come on,” I cry with laughter. “There’s such a thing as oversharing.”

  “I bet Eli’s tongue is going to rock your world,” she teases me.

  “Shh…” I laugh. “But yeah, you’re probably right.”

  “The way you’ve built him up in your mind, I’m sure a peck on the lips will be enough to blow your mind.”

  “Who’s being mean now?”

  My phone buzzes, and I glance at it.

  Eli: Looks like you’re having fun.

  My eyes dart to the window, and when I see Eli standing across the road, I wave at Katie. “Be right back.”

  I dart out of the store, and crossing the road, I can’t stop smiling.

  “Hey,” Eli murmurs from where he’s leaning back against the wall.

  “Hi.” I stop in front of him, then he takes hold of my hip and tugs me closer.

  “What were you and Katie talking about?” He doesn’t let go of my side, his touch hot through my clothes.

  “Just girl stuff,” I sidestep telling him the truth. Changing the subject, I say, “It’s Friday.”

  “You’re still coming home with me, right?”

  I nod, unable to stop smiling.

  Eli pulls me closer until I’m leaning against his chest, then his arms wrap around me, his hands locking at my lower back. He stares into my eyes until my stomach is nothing more than a fluttering mess.

  “My girl looks happy,” he murmurs.

  “That’s because she is.”

  Tension builds between us, making everything around us fade away.

  “Don’t you just make the cutest couple,” Nina suddenly says from behind me.

  Startled, I yank away from Eli, and seeing his mom looking at us, my face goes up in flames.

  Eli lets out an amused chuckle, and taking hold of my hand, he pulls me to his side. “Hey, Mom.”

  “Hi, Nina,” I say, feeling like I could die from embarrassment.

  “I’m just stopping by to remind you not to forget about Sunday.”

  “What’s happening Sunday?” Eli asks, and it earns him a scowl from his mom, then he chuckles, “Of course I won’t forget Ethan’s birthday.�
�

  “It’s all fun and games until you give me a heart attack,” she playfully chastises him, then she looks at me. “Will we see you on Sunday, Quinn?”

  “Ahh…”

  My eyes dart up to Eli, not wanting to just invite myself.

  He gives my hand a squeeze, then answers, “Yeah, I’m bringing Quinn.”

  “Good.”

  “Can I bring anything?” I ask. “My cobb salad isn’t too bad.”

  Nina nods. “Can’t wait to taste it.” She walks back to her car. “See you Sunday.”

  We watch as Nina drives off, then Eli gives me a tight hug. “I’ll let you get back to work. See you at five.”

  “Okay.” I check the road and then quickly cross it.

  The second I step into the store, Katie asks, “What did Nina say? It looked like you were praying for the ground to open up beneath your feet.”

  “I was practically melting into her son,” I mutter. “So much for continuing to make a good impression.” I sit down behind the counter and lean my head on Katie’s shoulder. “Comfort me.”

  She lets out a chuckle, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “There, there. Just think, it could’ve been worse.”

  “How?”

  “She could’ve seen the two of you lip-locked and playing tonsil hockey.”

  “Katie!” I laugh, pulling back.

  “See, all better,” she grins at me, proud of a job well done.

  “She invited me to Ethan’s birthday on Sunday,” I tell my friend.

  “You’ll have fun. Nina’s down to earth. I love her.”

  “Yeah,” I agree. Eli’s mom is one of the nicest people I know. Now, his dad is a whole different story. He’s intimidating as hell. Not in a bad way. It just feels as if he can see all your secrets with a mere glance.

  “You should take flowers for Nina,” Katie says.

  “Good idea. I’ll take a bunch of peonies.”

  ELI

  When we walk into my house, I set the pizza down in the kitchen, then say, “You can pick the movie you want to watch while I wash up.”

  “Isn't there something you want to watch?” Quinn asks as she takes plates out of the cupboards.

  “Whatever will make you smile.” I’ll sit through every damn romance movie for her if it makes her happy.