“When you become my wife, we will have our own children,” Gray Wolf murmured, seeing the direction in which Little Flower’s eyes were turned.
“Yes,” Little Flower responded, looking back at Gray Wolf. It frightened her a little, while exciting her at the same time. She had seen other women in the tribe heavy with child, and the very thought alarmed her because she didn’t know if she was ready to start bringing babies into the world yet. However, her love for Gray Wolf was so strong she would do anything to make him happy. She knew he wanted little braves to raise and teach the Sioux tradition to, so of course, she would give him children.
Gray Wolf placed his arm around Little Flower’s shoulder as he guided her down to the river. He noticed a couple of white women from the wagons pausing to put their hands over their eyes shading them from the sun as the two of them stared at him and Little Flower.
Little Flower turned and looked at the women too when Gray Wolf paused, wondering why the women were interested in them. “I saw those women pointing at me, when we entered the fort,” Little Flower mentioned. “Maybe it was because they were surprised to see I was a white girl.”
However, the moment the women saw the two looking back at them, they turned and hustled back to the shelter of the wagons.
“We must have frightened them,” Gray Wolf mumbled and continued on down to the river with Little Flower, the dogs happily following behind.
CHAPTER THREE
The tall fiddle-ferns, growing along the river bank, sheltered Little Flower and Gray Wolf as they sank down in the grass beneath the shelter of Aspin, Birch, and Alder, hanging over the water before them. Leafy shadows danced over the surface of the river, causing the sun to reflect between the spaces like diamonds, sparkling up at them. Sharp twittering of song birds cut crisply through the air. A gathering of sparrows in the branches flew up in a flutter, as the two arrived and plopped down beside the river, the whooshing of their feathers softer than the happy bird chatter.
Gray Wolf reached a finger and traced it over Little Flower’s cheek. “I cannot wait until you become my woman,” he breathed.
Lucky interrupted him as he romped up onto Gray Wolf’s lap, grabbing at Gray Wolf’s long strands of hair in his puppy teeth and playing tug-a-war with it. Distracted, Gray Wolf patted Lucky on the head, as Little Flower giggled at the pup’s antics.
Eventually, Lucky bounded down and started sniffing something in the grass, as Rags, lying in the grass, looked on, somewhat disinterested, then closed his eyes and napped.
Gray Wolf pulled Little Flower into his arms, snuggling her against him as he lowered himself completely in the green carpet beside the river. He plucked up a daisy, growing nearby and placed it in Little Flower’s hair.
“This is how I found you, with flowers in your hair,” he murmured, kissing her nose. “You will always be my Little Flower,” he promised.
“It is what I have always hoped for,” Little Flower admitted. “You have taken good care of me, Gray Wolf. I will be proud to become your woman and wife.”
“Merry Morning has accepted it now, which makes me happy.” He looked deeply into her eyes causing Little Flower to blink at the intensity of his gaze. “When the Sun Dance is past, I will ask my father to release you to me.”
“He may demand many horses,” Little Flower laughed.
“Which, I will gladly give him, even though I will not be taking you from him since we will remain as a family together in our lodge.”
Gray Wolf lowered his head, his lips seeking hers. It was the first real kiss Gray Wolf had given Little Flower, and the moment his lips burned into hers, she melted beneath his touch. The kiss progressed between breathless murmurs from Little Flower, and satisfied mumbles from Gray Wolf.
Little Flower had never experience such feelings of bliss, as she was undergoing now from the pressure of Gray Wolf’s full lips devouring hers. She wanted more of his kiss, and he seemed willing to give it. It caused her heart to skip and her breath to quicken in a way she had not expected. Her arms clung to his neck, never wanting to release him. His strong hands held her head, cupping her face as he deepened each consecutive kiss, until she felt her heart would burst from her chest with excitement.
Gray Wolf too, felt a current rush through him as the softness of Little Flower’s body pressed against him. His need of her was overpowering, yet he knew a virtuous wife was preferable to one who had been violated. Therefore, he tried to restrain his baser desires and be content with the feel of Little Flower’s lips beneath his own.
He just wanted more of those lips, the smell of her, her softness, and the sound of her whimpers as he caressed her lips with his. He tumbled her in the grass, pinning her beneath him as he continued to delight at the feel of her there, pressing his body against her, to try and satisfy that unrelenting yearning that grew stronger with every touch, feel, and smell of her. It didn’t seem enough, though. He wanted so much more.
Gray Wolf paused, drawing in a ragged breath to control his longings.
“Is something wrong?” Little Flower asked, when he lifted his head from hers.
Gray Wolf shook his head, unable to speak, as his senses were engulfed by the very nearness of her. He sank back down against her and resumed his caresses upon her willing mouth. His struggles within grew stronger, until at last he sat up, pulling himself away.
“We should return to the fort,” he almost grumbled with a low-sounding growl in his throat.
“Are you angry with me? Did I do something wrong?” Little Flower questioned, wondering why Gray Wolf suddenly acted as though he regretted kissing her.
“No, Little Flower, I merely wish to preserve your purity,” he smiled. “It is time to join the others and return to the village.”
Gray Wolf distracted himself from Little Flower, with her pouting lips frowning at him, by scooping up Lucky and placing him back in the sling around Little Flower’s shoulder. He could feel the softness of her breast against his hand as he adjusted the sling. It lingered there longer than necessary, but not long enough, he thought, wanting to enjoy that softness so much longer. Even Little Flower seemed to pause at the touch, taking in her breath, her heart galloping away with anticipation.
She felt his hand turn; caressing her softness, and then it was slipping through the gap at the neck of her dress top, finding the treasure he longed to touch. Little Flower’s breath caught in her throat at the feel of his fingers seeking her. Her mouth fell open and Gray Wolf took advantage of it, placing his mouth over hers to breathe her in, causing their breath to mingle as one. His need to explore her accepting mouth overtook him and he gave into that desire. The little murmur that followed only encouraged him, giving him mettle to pull more simpers from her, as his fingers closed over and teased that sensitive bud, causing Little Flower’s skin to shiver. That shiver transferred itself through him as well. He could feel it shooting through his groin. Now Gray Wolf was pulling her back down into the grass; Lucky escaping the sling scampered down to the river’s edge to take a drink.
A moment later, Little Flower’s top had been pushed open, exposing her beauty to Gray Wolf’s eyes, his mouth was eager to taste her salty skin. He licked his lips in anticipation, as he lowered his mouth to her, drinking in the taste of her and the suppleness that played no part in calming his need. Instead it only made it grow stronger.
Little Flower’s fingers tangled in Gray Wolf’s long, glossy hair, hugging his head against her, encouraging him to continue creating sparks to flare up within her body, making her breathing falter. Gray Wolf was eager to comply wanting more than the mere touch of her. When her lips trembled on the edge of a contended sigh, Gray Wolf proceeded caressing her begging body until he realized if he continued, he would go beyond return. With a disgruntled growl erupting from within, he pulled away, straightening Little Flower’s clothes and drew her to her feet.
“This is not right,” he mumbled. “Soon I will become a man and make my choice. Until the decision of our future is secure, I s
hall not touch you like this again.”
Little Flower Blinked. She felt irritating tears sting her lids. What did he mean, it was not right? It felt so right to her. She did not want to disgrace herself by crying, though, so she hastily blinked them back and tried to hide her look of disappointment. He must have felt repulsed at her appearance, she reasoned, wondering why he had suddenly lost interest in what he was doing, and then informed her he would not touch her again. Maybe she wasn’t woman enough for him yet. She glanced down at her small breasts, barely pushing the material of her dress out, thinking of Merry Morning’s amble breasts, which Merry Morning seemed proud of.
Gray Wolf did not miss the sudden shimmer of tears in Little Flower’s eyes, which disappeared almost as soon as they surfaced. He wanted to gather her in his arms and reassure her, but if he touched her now, when his body was going so crazy, he didn’t think he would be able to control himself. It was not right that he had even touched her with his lips that way before they were tied. He must keep his honor, though, and used every self-restraint within him to control his craving for Little Flower.
Her stoic, chiseled stare was almost more than he could bear. He tried to ignore it and hurriedly handed Lucky to her, but did not help put him in the sling. Instead, he almost stomped out of the shelter of ferns and walked ahead of her, trying to calm his aching need that was about to betray him if he remained this close to her much longer. Gray Wolf kept a few paces ahead of her, trying to quiet that longing that seemed to control him. Little Flower feared even more that he had been dissatisfied with her body, and that was why he suddenly stopped caressing her and carrying her away into a world she had never dreamed existed.
Something had turned him from her, and her heart shriveled, falling to her stomach, as she looked at Gray Wolf’s broad form walking in front of her. He didn’t even look back at her to give her a reassuring glance. Now she feared he was changing his mind about wanting her, and what kind of choice was he speaking about? Was it the fact that once he became a true brave, he would then tell her the truth that he had decided not to make her his woman after all? Why couldn’t he tell her now, she pouted to herself. He no longer wished to touch her, so why would he still want her as his wife? The thought hurt.
Little Flower continued working desperately to keep the tears at bay. She was certain Merry Morning must have something to do with this, even though he had told her that Merry Morning approved of their relationship. There was something he was not telling her. There was something that Merry Morning was hiding. She just didn’t know what it could possibly be.
Now Gray Wolf was sprinting to his horse and jumping upon its back, galloping away in a flurry of dust as Little Flower watched in confusion.
“What is wrong with him?” Merry Morning asked as she approached Little Flower. “I was coming to find you. We are getting ready to leave.”
“Yes. I suppose Gray Wolf is anxious to return to the village, and that is why he is riding ahead,” Little Flower explained, trying to understand it herself. Only she knew he was really running away from her. He didn’t want her after all. She racked her brain to try and recall what she had done to suddenly make Gray Wolf become so distant.
“He looked upset,” Merry Morning prodded. The look on Little Flower’s face told her something had happened, and they both seemed upset about it. She hoped they had been arguing and Gray Wolf had taken back his promise to have Little Flower as his wife.
“It is nothing,” Little Flower gulped. Yes, it was nothing, because now Gray Wolf never wanted to touch her again.
His very statement would keep her in her place, afraid to approach him. The closeness she had felt for Gray Wolf was being stifled and she steeled herself. After the Sun Dance he would tell her the truth that he had changed his mind and had decided to keep the promise his father had made with Merry Morning’s father. He had said after the Sun Dance he would make his choice. She feared that choice would not be her. Her skin had become tanned from the sun, which almost gave her the appearance of being Indian. However, the whiteness of her skin, and her scant breasts, when he opened her top, must have shocked him and made him realize that he could not take a white woman with little to show for her womanhood, to become his wife, just like Merry Morning had told her. She was not worthy to be the wife of a Chief’s son.
The lift and fall of Wind Rider beneath Gray Wolf seemed to relax him. He kept berating himself for almost losing his honor by taking advantage of Little Flower. She was to remain pure until the tying together took place and he had almost spoiled it all! Even now, his need for her raged through his body, which made him realize that merely being near her was too dangerous. The moment their lips touch, he knew she was all he ever wanted. Only it was too soon. He had to keep himself in check until after the Sun Dance, and then hope he could continue to remain strong until the night he was tied to Little Flower forevermore.
The fact that she shared his family’s lodge troubled him. Until now, he had kept the proper distance from her, treating her like the sister she had become. Only every new day pulled him closer to her. He had to throw the woman medicine at her, so she would know his desire. Yet, once the desire was revealed, it overwhelmed him. He needed her closeness even more. She had happily accepted, which made his heart soar and his spirit sing, only heightening the need to feel those soft, pouting lips beneath his. That had been his first mistake, he now realized.
Once that happened, all seemed to be lost. He became a weak fool, his emotions leaping out of discipline. His base urges taking over his better judgment. Now he didn’t even know if he was ready to become a man, if he couldn’t even keep his longings under control.
Eventually, he slowed his horse and waited for the rest of the group to catch up with him, vowing never to lose control over his emotions again. At least, not until Little Flower was safely his wife, and he could express to her openly the way he desired her completely. Until then, he would have to work hard to keep himself restrained and continue to treat Little Flower like the sister she would remain until they were tied as one. He hoped she would understand.
Gray Wolf turned his horse and brought it up beside Little Flower. “You look upset,” Gray wolf noticed.
“I am,” Little Flower mumbled. “Rags is having a hard time walking. I need you to lift him up onto my horse to ride in front of me,” she said. Only that was just one of the problems that troubled her.
Gray Wolf brightened. He knew that Rags was getting old and sympathized with her worries, as long as they were not worries about him. He slid down from his horse and lifted the dog up onto Starfire’s back, in front of Little Flower. Lucky was curled up snugly in the sling. Gray wolf looked longingly at the sling, remembering when he helped her tuck Lucky in before his desires overtook him. He blinked and looked away.
“I will ride beside you,” he offered.
“Thank you,” Little Flower shrugged. He was being kind to make up for the way he had rejected her earlier. He wanted to remain friends. It would be difficult, but if that was all she could hope for, it was better than nothing, she told herself.
Merry Morning came up on the other side of Gray Wolf and matched their pace. Her eyes went from one to the other, trying to read their expressions, but they both seemed to be keeping close hold on their emotions. Neither looked at the other, but kept their eyes straight ahead.
As the group pulled up beside the river to camp for the night before taking the last of the trek to the village, Gray Wolf jumped down from his horse and reached up to take Rags from Little Flower’s horse. His hands stilled when he felt the stiffness of the dogs body. It was cold, and he realized it had died. He gave a quick glance at Little Flower.
“I am sorry,” he mumbled. “I believe Rags has gone to the Great Spirit,” he told her.
“No!” Little Flower cried. “It can’t be!”
Gray Wolf lowered Rags body from the horse and walked to the river, laying him down beneath a tree. Little Flower stumbled after him, clutching L
ucky to her in his sling. Merry Morning followed at a distance.
“I will bring some rocks to cover him with,” Gray Wolf offered, going down to the river to collect them. Merry Morning followed, helping, not because she wished to lift Little Flower’s sorrow, but because it gave her an excuse to work beside Gray Wolf, and feel his nearness.
Little Flower knelt beside Rag’s body, remembering when she had first found him. Lucky jumped free, and sniffed at the older dog who had never taken a liking to him. Rags’ eagerness to follow Little Flower, all those many years ago and lap her face with his loving tongue, seeped into her thoughts. He was the one familiar thing from her past, and now he would no longer be there to bolster her up. She needed more bolstering now than she ever needed before, she thought, feeling as though her life was going to be thrown into turmoil, once Gray Wolf turned her away completely.
Little Flower felt a deep hopelessness well up inside of her. Her eyes blurred with tears as she watched Gray Wolf and Merry Morning stacking the rocks over Rags’ body talking quietly to each other. It felt to her that the child she had been when she found Rags had died too. Now all that was left of her was a shell that didn’t know if she was Sioux or white. At the moment, she didn’t want to be either.
Gray Wolf lowered himself beside Little Flower and placed his arm over her shoulder. “You at least have Lucky, now,” he whispered softly.
Yes, Little Flower thought, I have Lucky, and soon he is all I will have to keep me happy. He will always bring memories of Gray Wolf to me because Gray Wolf had offered him as a gift. She gave Gray Wolf a sideways glance but he wasn’t looking at her. She noticed Merry Morning looking down at them as she stood at a distance. Her eyes were soft, but they were not looking at Little Flower. They were resting on Gray Wolf. It was then that Little Flower knew she had been right. Gray Wolf was going to back out of his promise to her, and Merry Morning would be the one smiling at Gray Wolf after the tying ceremony.
Little Flower Page 4