Submitting to the Shadow: Kindred Tales 27

by Evangeline Anderson

  “Yes. Yes, of course.” Sammi nodded quickly. What had she been thinking, imagining Roark wanted to date her? He was clearly one of those people who are married to their work. He had no time for a relationship—other than a working one.

  “Good. I’m glad we understand each other.” He nodded shortly. “Now then, go ahead and get dressed. We have a backlog of data to get through today.”

  “All right.”

  Sammi nodded and accepted his help to get off the table. Clearly she’d gotten the wrong idea about her boss. Though it was hard to see how she could help it, considering the things he’d been doing to her almost from the moment they started working together.

  Still, it was all for science. The research was the important part, as Roark had pointed out. She would just have to keep that in mind in the days and weeks to come when things were likely to get rather…intense.

  Twenty-One

  You’re taking things too far. You shouldn’t have sucked her nipples or fingered her soft little pussy—you know you shouldn’t have.

  Roark lectured himself as he watched his assistant walk off down the hall. She was moving a bit stiffly—probably still getting used to the Goddess pearl shield she was wearing. It had seemed a shame to cover that sweet little pink button with the round black hemisphere, but Roark told himself it would be worth it when he saw how she reacted to stimulation that evening at dinner.

  That’s another thing you shouldn’t have done—you shouldn’t have asked her to dinner, the little voice went on. You were perfectly capable of testing the efficacy of both the caps and the shield in the lab. There was no need to turn it into a social occasion!

  But being out together in a public place would probably enhance her reaction to stimulus, Roark argued with himself. The social setting would provide valuable data he couldn’t get by testing the devices he had attached to her in the privacy of the lab.

  Admit it, Roark—you just want to go out with a beautiful woman. A beautiful, intelligent woman who understands your research as well as you do, whispered the voice. You’ve been lonely all these years since Amanda left. And Samantha is just your type—full figured and curvy—a true Elite. Not to mention her long silky hair and big green eyes…

  “No!” Roark muttered aloud to himself. “No, I won’t think like that about her—I can’t. No matter how attractive she is, I can’t give her what she wants—what she needs. And besides, the research has to come first!”

  Promising himself he would keep that uppermost in his mind, he turned towards his suite, intending to do a bit more work before he got ready for his dinner with Samantha—which was purely for research reasons—that night.

  Twenty-Two

  “So he wants to take you out to dinner?” Meg’s eyes widened excitedly. “Oh my God, Sammi! He’s into you! You know, I had a feeling when I told you to apply for that job—”

  “It’s not like that,” Sammi hurriedly interrupted her. “He only asked me out to talk about the, uh, research.”

  “Talk about the research? Riiiiight.” Meg winked at her broadly. “Because the best place to talk about research is definitely a fancy dinner at a romantic restaurant. Where did you say he was taking you again?”

  “I don’t know the name of it. He said it specializes in Twin Kindred cuisine and it’s down by the park area in the center of the ship.”

  “Oh—I know that place! Berik took me there for our one-week anniversary!” Meg cooed. “It’s amazing. Be sure you order the grieza worms for dessert—they’re delicious.”

  “Worms for dessert?” Sammi frowned.

  “Trust me,” Meg told her. “But then, you might not even get to dessert. The two of you might leave early to do a little more ‘research’ together, right?” She giggled and winked at Sammi again.

  “Honestly, Meg—I told you—it’s not like that!” Sammi protested.

  She shifted uncomfortably, wishing she could tell her best friend the truth. But how could she admit that she’d suddenly turned into a sexual submissive and she was allowing her new boss to use her body as a testing ground for his strange sexual devices? How could she tell Meg that even now she was wearing nipple caps and a clit shield which kept her from touching herself while increasing her desire?

  The answer was, she couldn’t—she just couldn’t. There had been a time when she and Meg never had secrets from each other. But now Meg was with Berik and Sammi was sure she told her new husband everything. She didn’t want to feel embarrassed to meet the Beast Kindred’s eyes the next time he and Meg had her over for dinner.

  Also, she was kind of ashamed of the position she found herself in. She had always considered herself a feminist—someone who took charge of her own pleasure and owned her own sexuality. And here she was, allowing someone else to dictate when she could come and even if she could touch herself! What had happened to the self-assured, confident woman she used to be?

  I’m still self-assured and confident, she argued with herself uneasily. I’ve just discovered a new side of myself—that’s all. A side that likes to submit. Maybe that’s why I never had any good sex before—because I was never with a dominant man. One who knew what I needed and how to give it to me like Roark does.

  Then she kicked herself mentally. There she went, comparing the big Shadow Twin to her past lovers again.

  She had to stop that, Sammi told herself sternly. Roark wasn’t her boyfriend—he was her boss. And the sooner she made herself realize that, the less chance she had of letting herself get emotionally involved—which she had to avoid at all costs if she didn’t want to get her heart broken.

  “You can say what you want, Sammi,” Meg said, breaking her train of thought. “But no man asks you out to dinner at an expensive, romantic restaurant just to talk business. You could talk business together at that lab of his! I’m telling you, girlfriend—he’s into you.”

  Sammi could tell she wasn’t going to be able to change her friend’s mind.

  “All right, fine. Whatever you say.” She shook her head and wrapped the cardigan she was wearing tighter around herself.

  Meg frowned.

  “Are you cold again? Why are you always wearing sweaters lately, Sammi?”

  “Just chilly, that’s all,” Sammi lied uncomfortably. Actually, she’d thrown the cardigan on before going over to her friend’s suite to hide the nipple caps which stuck out prominently under her blouse. Thankfully, the Goddess pearl shield was much easier to conceal and couldn’t be seen at all.

  “Well, you know you can adjust the temperature in your suite, right? Or just turn up the fireplace. I love that all the suites have fireplaces—don’t you?”

  “They’re really nice,” Sammi agreed, glad to be on more neutral ground. “But I think my favorite feature is the bathing pool.”

  “Oh yes—I love our pool! Why Berik and I spend hours in there. One time…” And Meg launched into a rather intimate story that probably would have made Sammi blush if she hadn’t been currently living her very own sexual fantasy at work.

  “Well, I’ll have to try that if I ever start dating anybody here,” she told Meg, when her friend finished.

  “Or just bring Commander Roark back to your suite tonight after dinner and try it then,” Meg said and giggled.

  “Meg! It’s not—”

  “Like that. Right. I get it,” Meg finished for her and winked again. “Okay, Sammi. It’s getting late—hadn’t you better go get ready for your not date tonight?”

  Sammi glanced at her watch and nodded.

  “Yes, I need to go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

  “You’d better!” Meg exclaimed. “I want to know all the dirty details of tonight’s dinner!”

  Sammi wondered if there would be any dirty details to tell—not that she would. But hadn’t Roark said something about testing the “efficacy” of the devices he’d put on her?

  She had no idea what he’d meant by that, but she had an idea she might find out at dinner that night…

>   Twenty-Three

  “This is a lovely place.” Sammi looked around the tiny bistro with appreciation. The Twin Kindred restaurant was simply called “Two.” It was a small, intimate, candlelit space and Roark had gotten them a booth in the corner, which was shielded from the rest of the patrons. Once they were seated with the wine menu in front of them, it was almost as though they had the whole place to themselves.

  The waiter—a blond Twin Kindred with a wide smile—brought them a fizzing blue wine and a delicious selection of dishes from Twin Moons. As they ate, they talked.

  “This is really delicious,” Sammi remarked, as she cut into the tender, flaky crust of a bright blue pastry with a savory filling. It reminded her a little of a chicken pot pie but the meat in it was stronger tasting—almost like lamb—and it was also bright pink. Regardless of the strange colors, it was absolutely mouthwatering.

  “As I said, Two specializes in Twin Kindred cuisine—specifically from the Dolo’sarian islands—which weren’t far from my own home when I was growing up,” Roark remarked.

  This was the most personal information he’d ever revealed in the admittedly short time they had been working together. Sammi leaned forward, intensely interested.

  “So you grew up on Twin Moons then—not here aboard the Mother Ship?” she asked.

  He nodded.

  “Yes, my family is still there. My mother and my two fathers and my twin brothers—Laughs Loudly and Speaks Kindly.”

  “That must be so difficult, to be so far from everyone,” Sammi said. “Why did you decide to move away?”

  “I could say my research,” Roark mused. “But that wouldn’t be entirely true. I didn’t really get interested in the difficulties of unmated human females becoming impregnated with Kindred fetuses until after I had settled here. No…” He shook his head. “If I’m being honest—which I strive to do—I left because it was easier to be without my family than to be with them all the time.”

  “Meaning?” Sammi raised an eyebrow at him.

  Roark sighed.

  “Meaning that it’s hard to be what you humans call ‘a third wheel.’ As a Shadow Twin, I grew up seeing that every other male in my entire society had a twin—a best friend to turn to and confide in. All of them but me.”

  “That must have been so hard,” Sammi murmured.

  “It was most difficult when I was a child,” Roark admitted. “Though when I grew older, I realized I was enough for myself. I didn’t need a twin to keep me company. I had my work for that.”

  “That still sounds like a lonely life—just living for your work,” Sammi objected.

  “Not so much.” He shrugged, his broad shoulders rolling under the neat black shirt he wore. It was the first time she’d seen him out of a lab coat and Sammi had to admit to herself the big Kindred was devastatingly handsome in “civilian clothes.” Then she tried to take the thought back—it certainly wasn’t something she ought to notice about her boss.

  “But to grow up in a society where everyone had a sibling but you… That’s kind of how I felt, growing up,” Sammi told him.

  “Oh?” He frowned. “I thought you came from a big family.”

  “I said my mother came from a big family. But she had fertility issues and in the end, she could only have me. I used to go to family reunions and play with all my cousins and wish I had a brother or sister like they all did.” Sammi sighed wistfully, remembering that deep longing and the painful jealousy she’d felt when she saw all of her cousins—not a single one of them an only child like she was.

  Roark cocked an eyebrow at her.

  “Is that what made you interested in infertility?”

  “Well, yes—I guess it was.” Sammi nodded. “What about you?” She leaned across the table. “What made you interested in infertility?”

  “Probably the fact that I’m infertile myself,” Roark remarked.

  He said it so off-handedly that at fist Sammi thought she must have misunderstood him.

  “I’m sorry, you’re what?” she asked, frowning.

  “Infertile,” he said again, matter-of-factly. “To be exact, my sperm are nonviable—they have no motility. They cannot ‘swim’ to the egg, which renders me incapable of either bonding with a female or impregnating her.”

  “But…But women don’t get pregnant every single time they have bonding sex, right?” Sammi objected.

  “No, but it isn’t for lack of trying on the sperm’s part,” Roark said dryly. “I have studied the physiological mechanisms of bonding sex in every kind of Kindred and in every single case the seed of the Kindred warrior floods his female’s womb and the sperm seek for an egg. It’s a vital part of the process. Without it…” He shrugged again. “No bonding can occur.”

  “That’s…” Sammi reached for a word but couldn’t find one. “That…”

  “That is the reason my fiancé left me,” Roark finished for her, which was certainly not what she’d been expecting to hear.

  “She did? What happened?” Sammi couldn’t help asking.

  “I was unable to bond her to me or to give her the children she desired,” Roark said coolly. If he was hurt at all by the events in his past which he was revealing to her, he certainly didn’t show it. “So eventually we went our separate ways. It is doubtful whether we should have been together in the first place—I was only guessing when I asked her to go out with me the first time, because of course we hadn’t been Dream Sharing.”

  “Dream Sharing? Sammi asked.

  “When a Kindred—well, most kinds of Kindred—is meant to be with a woman, the two of them will start having dreams of each other before they meet,” Roark explained. “But Shadow Twins often are not able to share this kind of connection with their future mates. It’s a significant difference between us and all other kinds of Kindred—as is our tendency towards infertility.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Sammi shook her head. “That was awful of your fiancée, leaving you for something you couldn’t control. I mean, the two of you could have adopted if she wanted kids so badly.”

  “Not at all.” Roark shook his head. “Amanda was right to leave me. It wasn’t just about the lack of children—it was the lack of a bond which presented a problem. A relationship without a bond is no relationship at all. I could never have made her happy so it was better that she left to find a male who could.”

  “I don’t understand how you can talk about it so coolly,” Sammi said, leaning towards him and putting a hand on his arm sympathetically. “It must have been a really painful experience.”

  “It was a long time ago.” Roark took her hand, squeezed it briefly, and moved it pointedly back to the table. “It showed me that I had to concentrate on my work—since I was never going to be able to have a fulfilling relationship myself, I wanted to make sure others could. Though of course, the relationship I work to bring about is that of a mother and child and not a male and his mate.”

  It was obvious to Sammi what he was doing. Roark was spelling out, in no uncertain terms, that he was permanently unavailable—that he had no interest in having any kind of a relationship with her other than the working one they had as boss and assistant.

  Her heart gave a little flutter that ended in a thud. Despite telling herself that she had to be professional and couldn’t think romantic thoughts about her boss, she’d been thinking them anyway. His story, though, made it clear that he really didn’t see her as anything other than his assistant.

  She knew how important to the Kindred the soul-bond they formed with their mate was. It gave them the ability to hear their mate’s thoughts and even feel her emotions. For a Kindred, a relationship without a bond was, as Roark had put it, no relationship at all.

  “Well, I think it’s wonderful that you’ve decided to channel all your energy into helping other people,” she said at last.

  Roark shrugged again.

  “What else can I do? Besides, I love my work. I’m constantly fascinated by the science of Kindred/human fertilit
y—it’s different with every kind of Kindred. The nuances are enough to keep me busy forever.”

  “Well, you’re certainly dedicated to collecting your data,” Sammi said daringly. She lowered her voice. “Is, uh, that why you brought me out tonight? To see how I would react while wearing the, er, devices you attached while we were in public?”

  “Exactly.” Roark’s voice sank to a low growl. “And how are you doing tonight, Samantha? Have you gotten used to wearing the caps and the shield?”

  “Somewhat.” Sammi shifted in her seat. She’d been so intent on their conversation and the meal, she’d almost been able to ignore the tingling sensation from the bonding fruit ointment she felt in both her nipples and pussy. But now that Roark had drawn her attention to those sensitive areas again, she was very aware of a deep sexual itch she couldn’t scratch.

  “I see you’re wearing a top that conceals the nipple caps, anyway,” Roark remarked, eyeing the emerald green button-down silk blouse Sammi had put on. It was dark enough to hide the black caps encasing her soft pink peaks as well as the black breast harness. Also, it brought out her eyes—at least according to Meg.

  “Well…yes.” She shrugged her shoulders self-consciously. “I mean, I couldn’t have people seeing them. They look, uh, kind of kinky, even if you and I know they’re just for research purposes.”

  “Kinky, hmm?” Roark looked at her with half-lowered lid. “As in sexually deviant? That is what you mean, isn’t it?”

  “Um…yes, I guess so.” Sammi cleared her throat. “You know, like bondage and domination. Or some kind of…of sexual submission.” Her mouth went dry as she said it—as she named aloud her own personal, newly discovered kink.

  “The kind of submission where one partner makes the other partner wear fetish clothing or implements for the purpose of sexual arousal?” Roark cocked an eyebrow at her and Sammi felt her cheeks getting hot.