Forever the One

by C C Monroe

  Rubbing my cheeks with the pads of his thumb he memorizes my every outline, like it’s his first time seeing me.

  “I can try to let go of my own regrets, but know that I will never let him or anyone hurt you again. No matter how many times you beg me not to. I will forever protect you from the evils in this world.”

  “You’re forever saving me, Kingston.” Lifting his head, I meet him half way, kissing him, so damn thankful for his willingness to put up with my damage. It can’t be healthy for us to do this, but that’s just the thing, we both don’t care. We want this no matter how much we deny it or find ways to keep it from happening.

  “I love you, I promise I’ll be patient...I promise I’ll help heal you.” Completion starts to fill in the cracks of my heart, filling all the places where I once felt empty. That’s what he does to me, that’s who Kingston is. Sharing a few more soft kisses and whispered words, he tells me to sleep. Rolling over, I turn off the lamp on my side of the bed before turning back into him, wrapping my leg around him and nestling my head on his chest. My hand finds my name, tattooed on his lower stomach, bringing me comfort. I still can’t believe he got that fucking tattoo. I fall asleep with a smile etched on my face, he is such a caveman.

  “Joel, I thought we were gonna try and work on us.” I play with the hem of my cheer skirt, scared to make direct eye contact.

  “Oh shut up, it’s no big deal, Lana.” He brushes me off, starting up the car.

  “Don’t tell me to shut up, Joel! You were with her, kissing her. You promised you wouldn’t cheat anymore.” I know I made the wrong move instantly but I can’t help it. I thought he was gonna be faithful after the last few times I caught him with Jessie. Pulling over to the side of the road he slams on the breaks throwing the car into park.

  “I’m sorry. I just thought you loved me,” I apologize, retracting my statement in the hopes of not getting into it with him. I’m still bruised from the last fight.

  “Not really.”

  “Then let’s break up. I don’t understand why you keep doing this shit if you don’t love me.” I look up to meet his angry gaze, he looks like a bull ready to attack.

  Slap.

  My cheek burns and my eyes tingle from the aftershock of his hit. I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have kept my damn mouth shut and let him take me home to my friends. To Kingston.

  “You listen here, I can fuck who I want. I still want you but I want other girls, too. I will keep you until I decide I’m done. Got it?” Against my better judgment, I ignore him. I’m tired of this. I go to open my door to get out. Grabbing my arm and locking the car with his other hand, he yanks me back, jolting me so hard I swear my brain rattles.

  “Stop it, Joel. Please,” I beg, doing my best to pull my arm out of his grasp, while black dots dance across my vision.

  “No, you aren’t leaving. I don’t want you going home to your parents so they can see your red, ugly face and you can blab your fat mouth to them. I’d hate to hurt two people tonight. Don’t you agree?”

  Gulping loudly, I shake my head, my eyes staying down. I know he’s serious, he would hurt anyone I love in order to keep me.

  “Good. Now, I promised Jessie I’d come over tonight. I’ll drop you off at Shay’s. But I swear Lana, you say shit to her I will have one of my boys on you...both of you,” he threatens me, looking me up and down like I’m trash. I feel like his trash.

  “Boys?” I question, my pulse kicking up.

  “Yeah, I have someone watching you all the time, you know, making sure you don’t run your mouth. That and I have special tabs on that fucker Kingston, seeing as you can’t keep your fuck me eyes off him. Slut.” His derogatory term hurts me, but him bringing Kingston up scares me.

  “Stay away from Shayla and Kingston, okay? I promise I won’t say anything.” He looks at me with his beady eyes. Eyes that used to look at me so beautifully, like I was God’s gift. The hands that used to touch me in adoration now hurt me with pure hate. Shayla, Kingston, and Trey mean the world to me and I will do anything to keep them safe, even if I get hurt more in the process.

  “Good. By the way, you need to cut back on one or two meals. You are gaining too much weight. No wonder I cheat on you.” My heart weeps in pain. Sometimes his insults hurt me more than his fist ever could. Unfortunately, at one point I loved this man. Now, I hate him...despise him. I don’t even argue with him, done with it for the night. The slap and threat were enough for me.

  “Okay.”

  “You know what? We’re only a few blocks from Shayla’s. Get out and walk. My guy will follow you there. I don’t feel like being around you any longer.”

  “Yeah.” Getting out of the car, he says my name. Turning I lean down to look at his disgusted face one more time.

  “The guys I have keeping tabs on you are no joke. One slip up Lana and I’ll have the people you love destroyed.” I swallow, my heart sinking to the bottom of my stomach. I feel sick. I nod, ready to run. But what’s the point? Running will only make things worse. I’m trapped. I will never escape this man. Shutting the door, I head toward Shay’s house, taking note of the car following slowly behind me. Why did I ever fall in love?

  My alarm wakes me from my night terror, this one being the milder kind. That day was a shitty one, but nothing compared to what he could really do to me when he was pissed.

  Reaching for Kingston, ready to look into green eyes that center me and erase my nightmares, I’m met with cold sheets and a note. My heart sinks further, I wanted him here.

  My Queen,

  You looked so fucking beautiful, I couldn’t wake you. I promised Trey I would meet him at the gym for a five a.m. workout. Last night was amazing. I miss you already. Send me a picture of your beautiful self when you wake up. I promise I’ll send you a good one.

  See you tonight.

  P.S. I kissed our tiny little baby ten times this morning. Your little belly is growing.

  Love,

  Your sexy fucking baby daddy.

  The note had me warm and fuzzy until the last bit. My belly’s growing? I’m getting fat? Getting fat means I’m not gonna be sexy anymore. What if I get too big and he doesn’t want me anymore? Kingston is in great shape. The gym is part of his daily routine and his body is in pristine condition. Bulging biceps, sexy eight pack with the deepest V, strong legs, handsome god like features. Shit, maybe I need to start working out more.

  I try and push aside my insecurities. I’m just overreacting because of my nightmare and the hormones. You’re fine Lana, you got this. I repeat my commonly used mantra, climbing out of bed after the tenth time repeating it my head.

  My feet touch the cold wooden floor of my bedroom as I pad across the room to my bathroom, grabbing my phone on the way. Flipping on the light, I see the black circles around my eyes. I don’t know what he saw when I was sleeping, I look like death warmed over.

  Opening my messages I see a notification from Kingston. Opening it, I about orgasm on the spot. Kingston in all his naked glory, standing in front of his bathroom mirror. He’s flexing his muscles and his cock is hard. The veins on his lower abs and arms are even more noticeable from his workout. My God he looks yummy. Okay, I need to make sure I work out during this pregnancy, if I wanna keep up with that hot hunk of man. Holy hell.

  My phone rings pulling me from my sex dream, seeing Shayla’s name pop up on the screen I answer. “You know, I was just about to play DJ cliterous to your brother’s naked selfie, what do you need at eight in the morning?”

  “You are so crude. You two are perfect for each other.” I smirk feeling accomplished. “Anyway. I need you to come in a little early. I have an interview for another employee and I want you to be there to help decide.”

  “What happened to Hayley?” Hayley is the girl we hired to help out around the boutique.

  “Nothing, it’s just been busy and with us both being pregnant and soon to be moms, I thought it might be good to have extra hands on board so we can be
ready when the babies come.” Bless her heart, she is the mama of us two.

  “True, at least one of us is smart.”

  “Hush, you’re smart, I’m just cautious.”

  “True again.”

  I start the shower, putting the phone on speaker and stripping my clothes off to get in.

  “I’m gonna get some breakfast before I come in, have you eaten? Do you want anything?” I grab a razor from the drawer avoiding the mirror, the nasty scar Joel gave me on my chest always makes me repulsed.

  “Yes, I could go for an iced tea and a bagel, please!”

  “Sounds good, I’ll see you soon!” Hanging up the phone I go to climb in the shower. Right when I step in, I hear the doorbell. You’re kidding me.

  Turning the water off so it doesn’t go cold, I grab my robe and run to answer whoever it is. I don’t make it in time and when I look out the peephole, I see an empty hall. Opening the door to check the hall, thinking they may still be there, I see a bouquet of roses. Smirking, I blush. Kingston.

  Grabbing the flowers I see a note. Opening it I read it.

  I miss you, can’t wait to see you soon.

  Biting my lip I smirk, bringing the card to my heart. Kingston is trying, he is being patient. I need to repay him for the kind gesture and how delicate he was with my feelings last night. He even reacted to the baby news far better than I thought he would. Which, we didn’t really talk about the pregnancy—at all. After work today I will head to his place, maybe cook him dinner and talk about the new changes that are going to play out in our lives. Holy moly we’re going to be parents.

  Locking the door and placing the flowers on the counter, I smell them one last time before I head into work for the day.

  “Yo dad, what’s up?” I’m fucking exhausted from my late night with Lana and then my five a.m. workout with Trey. I hit the punching bag for thirty minutes then spent an hour on arms and chest. I need a deep tissue massage. I wonder what I gotta do to get my woman to rub some good shit on my muscles tonight.

  “Sorry to bother you at work. I was calling because I have to run into Seattle this afternoon and I was wondering if you and Shay wanted to get some dinner?” I still haven’t told my dad about Lana being pregnant, seeing as I just found out last night. I guess now would be the time to tell him.

  “Yeah, I’ll ask Shayla. She should be off around that time, so I’ll call her. Where ya thinking?”

  “Rose Bar.”

  “Sounds good. I can be there at seven.”

  “Perfect, see ya then bud.” I say goodbye, zoning out as I cue the band in for another round. My thoughts drift to Lana, the way she looked last night, the way she looked in her sleep. The intimacy of just having her to myself without any distractions was perfect. Yesterday was a fucking whirlwind, we didn’t even have time to talk about the baby. I can’t believe we’re going to be parents. I mean I spent the past year trying to get Lana to give me a piece of her, a piece of her heart and instead she gives me something even bigger. She gives me a life—a baby—a product of us.

  I know Lana loves me, she insists she’s scared, but I can feel within every inch of me that she is in love with me. Now we can get shit going, since she said she wants to try for us and our future family. We can finally start to mend the broken in us.

  The band finishes fairly early and I head out to meet my dad and Shayla at the restaurant.

  “Hey bro.” Walking in I’m greeted by Trey, I didn’t know he was coming with Shay or I would have invited Lana.

  “Hey man, I didn’t know you were gonna be here.” I pat his back. Releasing him we walk inside, heading to the open bar. It’s nonsmoking in here, so we stay inside.

  “Yeah, I drove Shayla into work today since I had the day off, so I just tagged along.” He winks. “Don’t act like you didn’t miss me at work, dick.” I punch his side with little impact, when he bends on instinct, I get him in a headlock and rub my knuckles into his hair.

  “Ah, fuck you man, let me go.” He steps on my foot then punches me back in the ribs, enough to get out of my headlock but not enough to hurt. We laugh, pushing each other a few more times, like the grown ass children we are before we reach my dad. Shayla isn’t here but her purse is. Looking around I see her standing in line by the bathroom, texting.

  “Dad, hey!” Shouting over the music I stand next to my dad hugging him quick then ordering myself a beer. I’m ready to relax and spend some time with my family and friends. I just wish Lana was here.

  “So what’s new guys?” My dad asks looking between Trey and me.

  “Nothing, just enjoying married life.” He smirks, I do like seeing how happy he is. For so long Trey was wallowing in the pits of hell with all his loss and drama. Now he’s content, a sap and completely smitten over my little sister—as he damn well should be—she’s fucking perfect.

  “Nice, you better be treating her well. How about you son?” Playing with the condensation on my beer bottle I bring it up to my lips for a quick swig, as he turns to face me. Both him and Trey wait for my response. Here goes nothing.

  “Lana and I are pregnant.” I’m pretty sure the music stopped and the commotion from people ceased, but it didn’t. Staring at me with wide eyes and open mouths, they both don’t say anything right away. I don’t know why Trey looks shocked, he was the fucker who tipped me off and came up with the idea first.

  After a few seconds of long silence my dad breaks into cheer, smiling from ear to ear. “I mean what in the actual fuck. Both my kids are having kids. Fuck me, congratulations buddy!” He wraps me up in a hug filled with muscles and back slaps, I proudly smile, my chest welling.

  “I knew it dude! Damn! Lucky you, welcome to the soon to be daddies club!” Finally my dad lets me go and I hug Trey. I feel dominant and possessive knowing my woman is pregnant with my baby, my chest is swelling and my lion’s mane is growing. I feel like a true King.

  “She coming around to the whole couples thing?” Dad questions once we settle.

  “Lana said she’s willing to try, you know take the steps to get there and whatnot. I think she’ll come around, she has to. We’re having a baby, after all.”

  “Be patient with her son, let her come around. Abuse is no joke, that shit can stick with people forever.” I love my dad for being supportive, most parents wouldn’t be as calm when their children get pregnant out of wedlock, but my dad is different and I’m a fucking adult. Even if I wasn’t an adult I wouldn’t give a shit, I do what I want and I always have.

  “I’m doing that, that piece of shit really did a number on her.”

  “I bet. I saw her the day he put her in the hospital. I can’t believe she recovered.”

  I cringe, my anger climbing to a boil. I push it down, reminding myself the past is in the past. I can’t go backward if I want us to move forward.

  “Agreed,” Trey chimes in. The bartender walks up and I don’t miss the fact that she’s a woman. A woman who likes to stare. Anytime Trey and I go out women look at us, often hitting on us. It gives me a big head because it strokes my ego. I like knowing that I’m attractive, I like knowing that I’m good enough to stand next to my fucking Queen. I still think Lana is fucking out of my league with her sweet fucking face and beautiful smile. Her heart is big and yet she shuts it off, rejecting all the love the world wants to give her. But it doesn’t stop me, I work every day to be worthy of her.

  “Hey handsome, want another beer?” The bartender sticks her fake tits out, purring at me and I just smirk. Fake tits used to be my preference, something I quite preferred. However, now I just want to touch Lana’s and no one else’s. Lana has a small natural chest and fuck me if I can’t wait to actually get my bare hands on them.

  “No, I have to drive. Water’s fine, thanks.” I’m curt with her, not interested in her attention in the slightest.

  “That’s no fun, how about I buy you a shot and we can throw one back together?” Biting her lip, she tries extra hard to get me hooked. Her blonde hair and way
too orange tan not helping her case. I’m beyond fucking whipped. I loved pussy, all kinds—I didn’t discriminate. I loved hooking up with random women, never settling. The last serious relationship I had was Hilary when I was in high school. Even then she was a stage five clinger and I enjoyed many nights with other women. My favorite nights were when I was with one woman in particular—Lana. No sex, no expectations, no complications, just her and I and some of the best times in my life. Even after her and I slept together, when I was twenty-one, I stopped fucking randoms. The last woman I had after Lana, was Lana and I am the only one that knows this. Trey and I took a lot of girls home but I never let them get all of me, sending them on their way most of the time when the buzz wore off.

  I cut the poor girl some slack. “No, I’m good. I’m taken sweetheart, but thanks,” I say, thinking this will back her off a little, but it does the opposite.

  “I desire challenges.” I’ve gotta say this girl has no shame and it’s a complete turn off. No fucking thanks.

  “He’s not interested pop tart. Now get him a water and I’ll take a tea with lemon. Thanks!” Looking beside me I see Shayla, her hand is on my shoulder and she’s rubbing her belly while slamming the waitress with a hard glare. I hear my dad and Trey chuckle next to me and I look the opposite way of them and just shake my head.

  “There you are, you little shithead,” I say swiveling in my chair and pulling her in for a hug, leaning down to kiss her growing belly. I can’t wait to not only be a dad, but also an uncle. Shayla is not just my sister, she’s my best friend—we’ve been through so much together. Now being older and watching her become a wife and mother is bittersweet.

  “I had to pee. I swear these little ones are sitting on my bladder.” Moving behind me, my dad stands and wraps his arms around her waist, lifting her into a big bear hug. She giggles and I watch the now angry waitress return with our drinks. Slamming them down, she gets attention from all of us.