Expectations: The Transformation of Miss Anne de Bourgh (Pride and Prejudice Continued), Volume 1
Page 23
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The day before the masquerade, Anne contemplated her finished dress, which had arrived from the dressmaker that morning. What should she do? Should she make the safe choice and stay home? Should she listen to what her mother had always told her, that she was better than such things? What did she want to do? A dance would be a chance to make a fool of herself. She knew so few of the dances, and she lacked the stamina to dance well. She would be a buffoon, masquerading as a queen. She felt lost. She sent for Dr. Minton.
The doctor arrived a few minutes later, expressing concern for her health. She reassured him that she felt fine but unsure of herself. Should she go to the masquerade?
He asked her if she felt well enough to go. She said she did. He responded that then it was only a matter of how she wanted to spend the evening. He said that if she chose not to go, the others could attend but he would stay here with her. She felt humbled by his sacrifice and thanked him. She asked him to find Harriet and send her up.
When Harriet arrived, Anne felt shame over the unkind thoughts she had had about her friend and apologized for her coldness. Harriet expressed her regrets for speaking so many unwelcome things and said she “should be horsewhipped someday for talking so freely like that.”
Anne asked Harriet if she should go to the masquerade. Harriet thought for a few moments, then said, “Anne, I cannot tell you what you should do. All I can tell you is what I would do if I were in your place. If I had come all the way to Italy to see the world and do things I had never done before, I would feel myself a right fool not to go. After all, how many will you have to look forward to back home? If I knew this was my only chance to go to a ball, I would go. Even if I did everything wrong, at least I would know I had the courage to try. You are the only one who knows if you have that courage.”
After Harriet left, Anne sat for a long time, most of it staring at the dress. That gaudy, ridiculous dress. It did not at all suit her, and she would be a laughingstock in it. And it was the most beautiful dress she had ever had.
That settled it. She would go to the masquerade.