“Well,” Finn says, leaning back in his chair and putting his napkin on the table, in preparation to stand. “I should drive you back to campus.”
“Yes, I guess so,” I say, despite the sinking disappointment in my stomach. I knew this would happen. It had to. There was no way around it. It doesn’t stop the bitter feeling of having to leave him. “Thank you for dinner. It was wonderful.”
“It was my pleasure,” Finn says, coming around to my side of the table and offering me a hand to get to my feet. I don’t need his help, but I take it anyway because I love the fact that he offered.
And then I’m standing, and because I’m still clinging to his hand we’re suddenly very close together, and Finn doesn’t move back. And I can’t breathe enough to do anything, let alone think.
Especially not when he bends his head and puts his other hand around the back of my neck, and presses his lips to mine.
I disappear into the kiss as if nothing exists anymore except that point of contact between our mouths. His lips are firm and hot, and when he pulls back I can still feel their imprint on mine. I can still feel them when he smiles down at me and steps back and lets go of my hand. I can still feel them when he tells me to follow him and draws the curtain aside, and I can still feel them when he offers me his arm again and I half-stumble out of the restaurant with him, feeling more than a little dazed.
It’s not until we’re back in the car that I feel a little bit more grounded again, coming back down to earth after the unexpected kiss. I feel the heat in my cheeks, and I bite my lip just slightly, trying to recapture his taste as we drive back towards the campus.
Easy silence settles between us, but I want more than anything to break it. I glance at him from the corner of my eye, trying not to be too obvious about it. What can I do? I don’t want to seem like I’m being too forward, but I want to get to know him better. I don’t want tonight to end. What should I suggest?
When really, what I want is for him to take me to his own home, or a hotel somewhere, where we can enjoy some privacy and he can take me to bed?
He pulls into the campus parking lot instead of dropping me outside, and I’m surprised when he parks neatly, pulling into an open spot and lining up the car perfectly.
“You didn’t have to park,” I say, a little alarmed at the idea of him making the extra effort for no reason. I don’t want to come across as trouble or high-maintenance, especially not this early on.
“Of course, I did,” he says. “I couldn’t just leave the car abandoned on the street. I’m not a philistine. I’m going to walk you to your door.”
“Oh,” I say, feeling my cheeks go pink. “You are?”
“This is a date,” he says. “I’m a gentleman. I’m not going to send you back on your own, I’m going to make sure you get back safely. What kind of thoughtless boys have you been going on dates with so far?”
“Oh,” I say, and then make a short laugh to disguise the fact that the answer would have to be none.
“Come on,” he says, getting out of the car. “Unless you don’t want me to see where you live?”
“Not at all,” I say, getting out quickly so that he can see I’m not bluffing. I do want him to come back with me – I want this date to go on for as long as it possibly can, even if I can extend it by seconds only.
I don’t want this to end – and I’m desperately hoping his offer to walk me back is a sign that he feels the same.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Finn
As we walk through the campus towards Candy’s dorm, I keep going back and forth in my mind.
I want to make a move on her. I want her right now, tonight. What’s the sense in waiting? I’ve waited twenty years already, and now that I’ve found her, I want to claim her right now. I want to leave my mark on her and make her mine. She is mine – she just doesn’t know it yet.
And I want to show her, in a way that she can’t ignore or deny. I want to make her scream my name in ecstasy over and over again. I want her dizzy and drained, so replete with satisfaction that she can’t even move. I want to make her come until she knows nothing except that she wants me again.
But it might be too soon for her. After only one date, and two meetings – both of those in a twenty-four-hour span… yes, it might be too soon. Not for me. I’m rock hard just thinking about it as we walk through the campus. Which I have to immediately stifle because that wouldn’t be a good look.
I won’t push it. Tonight, I’ll stay a gentleman. I want to do this right, to treat her with respect and give her the time and space to come to me on her own. There are plenty of ways to make her fall hard for me in the meantime. She’ll come around to my way of seeing things if she hasn’t already. She’ll want me as much as I want her. I can be patient for that.
“It’s been a nice night,” I say. “I hope we can do it again sometime.”
“I’d like that,” Candy agrees immediately – so quickly that I’m completely reassured. She clearly had a good time. “You have my number now, right? So, you can let me know when you’re free next. I guess you probably have a more demanding schedule than I do.”
I laugh. A self-aware student – it’s not often you find one of those. Usually, they can’t stop complaining about course load and how many lectures they have to attend, or how hard it is to study for finals – not realizing that real life requires the same level of dedication on a constant basis in order to succeed. “You’re right about that. I’ll let you know. Maybe sometime in the next few days.”
I could say tomorrow – but, just in time, I remember my own decision. I don’t need to push her too hard. She will be mine, whether it’s tomorrow, next week, or the end of the month. It will be hard to wait, but I can do it.
“I’ll be waiting,” Candy says, a little coyly. I wonder how long it is now to her dorm. I hope it’s a very long distance – but given how far we’ve already walked, I think I might be about to run out of luck.
We pause as we pass a noticeboard, Candy’s slowing steps making mine stop as well. She pulls away from my arm and steps closer to the board, where a number of different flyers have been posted. One of them, a green sheet of paper printed with a black text advertisement for a nearby bar, gets her attention – and mine.
“This is just off campus,” she says, pointing to it. “It’s student-friendly. Maybe we should go there. I’m not tired yet.”
“Maybe we should,” I agree, with a smile. So, she wants the same as me? Maybe tonight is about to get even more interesting, after all. Even if she doesn’t want to go all the way this evening – and I would understand that her being a lady – just getting to spend some more time with her will be enough.
“I think it’s over here,” she says, turning slightly. “Oh!”
I wonder at the sound of that last ‘oh’ she sounds surprised and pleased, as if she’s just seen something unexpected but in a good way. But as it turns out, I don’t have to wonder for much longer than a split second – because a very familiar voice comes into my hearing right afterward.
“Oh, hey!” it says, and I turn with a guilty feeling, thinking now that perhaps coming to this campus wasn’t the smartest idea I’ve ever had.
Not when I knew there was a chance we could run into my daughter.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Candy
I turn and see her coming towards us – Alex, my roommate, who pushed me to go on this date in the first place. She will probably be pretty happy to see us having a good time, and to know that Finn is being a gentleman and walking me home to my door.
Or so I think.
Because just when I’m opening up my mouth to greet her, she looks right past me to Finn and grins.
“Hey, Dad,” she says. “What are you doing here?”
My stomach plummets down to my feet. My heart goes along with it. I feel sick.
What did she just say?
I must have heard it wrong, right?
“Hey, honey,” Finn says beside me
, his voice tight with tension. “There you are.”
I don’t know what’s happening. My thoughts are colliding with each other in my head, my knees have gone weak, and my stomach is just roiling. All the expensive food we just ate is threatening to make a reappearance. What should I do? Why isn’t Alex mad yet? Has she not put two and two together?
“Were you looking for me?” she asks, going up and kissing her Dad on the cheek. The same Dad that I… also… just… kissed…
And, oh no, everything is starting to fall into place inside my head. It’s all starting to make sense. Finn was clearly working at the gallery event, but I just assumed he was an art dealer or someone trying to schmooze some clients. I never actually asked what he did, and he never told me. I should have thought about the fact that Alex told me her Dad owned the gallery. She never got the chance to introduce me to him before it all happened, and I never thought…
Oh, God. Lexie. He called his daughter Lexie. That’s why I didn’t get it. I’ve always just known her as Alex.
“Yes, I thought I’d come and visit and see if you were alright,” Finn says, glancing sideways at me. “I couldn’t remember where your room was, though. You know how it is, I spend so much time dealing with addresses and getting things sent around the country, it all gets mixed up.”
“And you just happened to bump into my roommate on the way back from her date,” Alex enthused. “Thanks for grabbing him for me, Can-Can. How was your date?”
“Can-Can…” Finn murmurs beside me. He must be having the same thought process as me. Of course, when Alex told him she was bringing a friend to the exhibition party, he probably just knew me as Can-Can. That’s how she introduces me to everyone – I’m always having to correct them to my actual name afterward.
Oh, God.
“It went great,” I say, through flaming cheeks and gritted teeth, absolutely sure that she must be able to see through me.
“Awesome!” Alex says, grabbing my arm. “Come on, we’ll all walk back together, and you can tell me about it.”
“I should go, then,” Finn says, backing away. “I don’t want to interrupt your girl time.”
“No, Dad,” Alex spins around and pouts at him. “You just got here.”
“It’s alright,” he shrugs. “I just wanted to make a flying visit anyway. Now I’ve seen you, that’s enough for me. Let me know if you need me to pick anything up for you this week.”
“I will,” Alex says. “Alright. See you later, Dad.”
And he turns to walk away, giving me one last glance over his shoulder as I do the same before Alex pulls me towards our dorm and starts asking me questions that I don’t know how to answer.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Finn
There was nothing I could do but leave. How could I stay and talk to Lexie, and pretend I’d only just met Candy, given what we’d been doing tonight?
The feel of that kiss lingers on my lips. I don’t want it to be the last, but doesn’t it feel like it’s wrong now? My daughter’s best friend – the same age as her. It feels like I’m betraying Lexie.
I should have thought of this possibility before. Can-Can and Candy – how could I have been so dense? I thought of it as some silly nickname that Lexie had come up with, and never even put the two together. Maybe I haven’t been paying enough attention to my daughter. Surely, I should have met her college roommate before now, or at least learned her real name.
But it’s done, and there’s no use in thinking any more about it now. I sit in the car in the parking lot and write out a text to Candy, telling her I didn’t know and apologizing. I think about adding in some assurance or question – like asking her what we should do now – but I don’t. I just send it as it is, an apology. I need time to think about the rest.
I start to drive home, my hands on the steering wheel knowing the way so that my brain doesn’t have to think about it – which is a blessing because I’m not entirely sure how much conscious thought I’m capable of right now. Everything goes around in my head: Candy, that kiss, watching her eat, her hips in that dress, my daughter, college, the age gap, everything. She said she didn’t mind before. But now? Surely she would have to mind now?
I pull into the driveway at home, and I know it’s no good. Damnit, no, I won’t let this derail things. It’s a hiccup, and nothing more. It has to be her. I’ve waited so long for someone to come into my life, and now I have her, I’m not letting her go. Not the perfect woman for me. It has to be Candy.
She will be mine. I need to have her, and I need to have her now. I can’t wait, not for the kind of years to pass before it might be easier for Lexie to accept. It has to be now. She will be mine. This is just a complication that we have to solve, but we’re going to solve it.
I didn’t become one of the foremost art gallery owners and dealers in this state by sitting down and rolling over when things don’t go my way. I will figure out a way to make this work. Even if it means there might be some temporary upset, I know that we will find a way to make it happen. I have to have her.
I send her another message before I even get out of the car. I don’t know if she’s read the first, or how she feels, but I need her to know that I’m still in this. I’m not walking away just because it might get awkward. I want her so bad, nothing is going to stop me from making her mine.
I’ll call you soon, I write to her. I still want to see you again.
I just hope that message, simple enough as it is, is enough to keep the fire of this thing we have between us burning.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Candy
Finn’s hands are on my body. He kisses my mouth, hot and needy, and his lips are greedy for me, pushing me down onto the bed. I feel his body looming over mine as he kisses me over and over, his hands moving over my waist and up to my breasts, filling me with heat. His hands dip down lower, lower, over my hips and around, over the top of my legs, down until –
Until I wake up, panting and hot, finding myself twisted up in the sheets of my bed.
I groan and cover my face, trying to hide against the sunlight. It’s morning already, and I’m still wracked with confusion about Finn.
I didn’t know he was my roommate’s Dad. And now I do know, it changes everything. Or at least, it should. But here I am, having sexy dreams about him. If nothing else, it proves that I am definitely not over the idea of being with him – however much a betrayal of my best friend it may be.
And if I can’t get him out of my head, I wonder if he feels the same. His message last night said that he still wanted to see me again, but I didn’t reply – I was too conflicted. And I have to know more about this situation if I’m going to make any kind of decision.
I don’t want to have this kind of big conversation over the phone. And even though I know he’s probably working, I can’t wait, either. It’s too much. It’s filling up my head.
“Oh, are you going out?” Alex asks, coming out of the bathroom with her makeup bag. “I thought we could do some studying together today.”
“Sorry,” I tell her, rushing towards the door. The less time I give her to ask me questions, the better. “I’ve just got something I have to do. I’ll be back later!”
I shut the door to our room behind me as quickly as I can, then practically run down the hall, trying to get out of here before she can catch up.
I take the bus over to the gallery – even though I have a license, I left my car at home with my parents, so my little brother could use it. I figured I wasn’t going to need to get around town too much. Until now, I’d been right – but having a boyfriend with a job downtown might complicate that.
A boyfriend. A shiver runs down my spine at that thought. I want it. But I’m still not convinced that I should.
I rush down the street and into the gallery with barely a thought; it’s only when I get inside and see a young woman with her hair cut into a sharp black bob, dressed in an Andy Warhol print, that I realize Finn might not even be here. Even th
ough he’s the owner, of course, he has employees. Why didn’t I think of that?
“Can I help you?” the woman asks, in a supercilious tone. Looking down at myself, I know why. I’m wearing a simple shirt and jeans, nothing complicated for my day off – and also nothing too expensive-looking. She can probably tell just by looking at me that I don’t belong here.
“Um.” I bite my lip, suddenly wondering why I thought this was a good idea. “I was looking for the owner. You know what, it’s fine, I should probably call first.”
“What’s your name?” the woman asks, almost snapping. She looks like she’s about to either call security or chase me out herself.
“L-like I said,” I stutter, stepping back towards the exit. “I should probably just go. I thought he would be here himself, so if he’s not, it’s fine.”
“Candy.”
I turn at the sound of his voice, my heart thumping in my chest. He’s here. And he heard me. He’s striding toward me across the gallery floor, dressed in a black suit as always, a white shirt open at the neck.
“I’m sorry,” I say, cringing inwardly at my awkward decision to come here without thinking. “I should have sent you a message, at least.”
“No, no,” he says. He reaches for my arm and draws me away from the woman who greeted me, over towards a row of paintings of landscapes that I noticed at the party. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m glad you’re here. It’s alright, Amanda – you can go back to work. I know her.”
The woman retreats back to where she was when I came in, but I can still sense her eyes on me, boring into the back of my head.
“I just…” I swallow my nerves, try to find again the determination that brought me over here in the first place. I need to know what all of this means. How we’re going forward from here. Right. “I need to talk to you. I couldn’t wait. I have to know… I have to know a lot of things, actually.”
My Roommate's Dad: An Instalove Possessive Age Gap Romance Page 4