“Then we’ll talk,” Finn nods seriously. “I know what happened last night was a surprise. It was for me, too.”
“I… I need you to answer me honestly,” I say, looking up into his face. I try to catch any sign of a lie there. “Alex’s mother. Is she still on the scene? Was that all a lie to make it easier for you? Tell me now.”
Finn blinks, and I see something in his face shift and change, his jaw tightening. “Come into my office,” he says, glancing behind me at the woman still standing there and watching us. “We can sit down and talk privately in there.”
He turns without waiting for my response and heads off to the back of the room, where a white door is almost imperceptible in the white wall.
I feel my heart lurch in my chest again. I made a mistake coming here. He’s going to take me in there and tell me off because I came here without notice. He’s probably furious with me for trying to make a scene, for bringing up Alex’s mother in front of his employees. No wonder. There’ll probably be a lot of gossip because of this.
And now what? The way his face changed – was I right? Is he still married? Alex never said anything to me about her parents other than that her Dad owned the gallery. It feels like she might have mentioned it if her mother wasn’t part of her life anymore. Did he… cheat on his wife with me? Is that what’s going on?
And if he wants me to come into his office for privacy… will he try to pay me off to keep me quiet, or threaten me, or something?
I clench my fists and grit my teeth, and follow him through the gallery. One way or another, I need a resolution to this.
I need to know what I’ve got myself into.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Finn
I sit down heavily behind my desk, then rethink, it’s too formal, her facing me across this workspace as if she’s a client or an employee. She’s so much more than that. I get up again as Candy takes the chair opposite my desk, and wheel mine around until I can sit next to her.
“I’m glad you came,” I tell her again. I reach for her hand, but she pulls it away at the last minute.
“Just answer me,” she says, and there’s something harsh in her voice – something that might be a sob about to happen.
“Right.” I bow my head, then look up at her again. “Lexie’s mother has never been on the scene. Not since the day, Lexie was born. She gave her up.”
“What?” Candy gapes at me. “So, you weren’t… married? Or together?”
“No,” I tell her. “It wasn’t a relationship, just a stupid mistake. One night that changed my life forever. But I got Lexie out of it, and her mother left us to it. It’s just been the two of us this whole time.”
Candy takes a breath, and I can see her thinking. I don’t want to disturb her or push her too much just now. I wait, watching her formulate her response.
“Then why now?” she asks. “Why… change that? For me?”
“Because…” I hesitate, trying to find a way to explain it. How can I say it? How can I put into words the way she has grabbed hold of my heart and refuses to let go, even when I know I might end up upsetting Lexie? “Because I looked at you, just one look, and I knew I wanted you. In a way, I haven’t wanted anyone else all this time.”
She pauses, and she ducks her head this time, and when I reach for her hand again, she doesn’t pull away.
“Even so,” she says, after a long moment. “This is such a mess. I like Alex. She’s my roommate. My best friend. She doesn’t know, does she? You didn’t tell her last night?”
“No,” I admit. “I didn’t. It’s hard. She’s my daughter, and this has never come up before. I mean it when I say I haven’t been on any dates this whole time. I don’t have dating apps installed or anything like that – you can check my phone if you’d like to.”
She half-smiles. “I don’t need to check your phone. I believe you.”
“I don’t want anyone else. I swear it.” I pause, hoping I’m not about to sound too egotistical. “It’s not that I don’t get attention from women. I do. But I usually – no, I always turn them down. I didn’t want to risk my daughter’s upbringing over something that might not work out.”
“But now she’s at college,” Candy sighs. “She can look after herself.”
“To be honest, that part didn’t even cross my mind,” I tell her. “I got used to being on my own. I always thought that one day, I would find someone. I even thought about finding someone to help me bring Alex up. But over the years, I never found someone I was willing to take the risk on. There was never a sure bet, someone who was perfect from the outset. And I stopped thinking about it – until I saw you.”
I hope I’m doing enough to convince her. It’s hard to tell. But I know one thing for sure I’m not going to give up. I can’t give up.
I have to get through to her – because she is going to be mine, and I won’t accept that something so simple as her already knowing my daughter could keep us apart.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Candy
I take a breath. It’s hard to think straight, especially when he says those kinds of things. I want to just let go, to give up on any pretense at trying to spare Alex’s feelings. It’s hard not to feel that way when he looks at me the way that he does and says the kinds of things he says.
But I’m not just a one-dimensional cartoon character. I have more sides to me. Just as much as I want Finn, I also care about the people around me – Alex included. More so than most, because we’ve become so close over the semester we’ve spent living together. Maybe I’ve only known her a short time – but I’ve known Finn for even less. But even so…
“Look, Candy, it’s like this,” he says, breaking the short silence between us. “I can’t resist you. This thing we’ve started, I don’t want to stop. I want to see it through. I think we have a chance.”
I bite my lip. When he’s so open and honest, how can I stay shy about doing the same? “I can’t resist you, either,” I tell him. “All night, I couldn’t stop thinking…”
“Neither could I,” Finn says, taking hold of both of my hands and squeezing them. “I barely slept. By the time I got home from the campus, I knew I couldn’t just let this go.”
I find a smile brightening my face, unable to keep it down. “But what are we going to do about Alex?” I ask, the brightens dimming a little. “As much as I want this, I don’t want to hurt her either. If she knew…”
“It would seem like a betrayal,” Finn says heavily. “I know. I can see that, too. She would be upset to find out that we’d been seeing each other. Especially behind her back. But we’ve already done that – it’s too late to take it back now. And I don’t think this is the right time to hit her with the news. Maybe in the summer…”
“The summer?” I repeat, almost incredulous. “But that’s months away!”
“I know, I know.” Finn pauses, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of my hands. “I’m not saying we can’t see each other until then. Just that Lexie can’t know about it.”
“You want to keep it a secret?” I ask. Two things hit me at once first, that this is wrong, that we shouldn’t keep on lying to Alex. And second, that the thought of sneaking around with Finn is sexy as hell. I shouldn’t want this – shouldn’t even consider agreeing to this – but it sounds so good.
“Just for now,” Finn says. “And when the summer comes around, we can break the news to her. It doesn’t have to be an out and out lie. We just let her finish the year’s study and give her that time to deal with the news. You two won’t be staying together anymore, which will make it easier.”
My heart sinks a little – how can it not? If we do this, there’s a good chance that Alex will forgive her father. Because he’s her father. But if we wait until we no longer live together, and then she gets mad at me, it’s likely that she will never end up forgiving me. Or at least, not so that we become best friends again.
I’ll lose her.
The thought fills me with dread, but th
en I look at Finn and I know I can’t do this any other way. As much as I love spending time with Alex, nothing I have ever experienced compares to how I feel about Finn.
And he’s right – she’ll be able to deal with the news better over the summer. Not to mention that we may not even last until then. Who knows what kind of flaws may come up in our relationship? I don’t want that to happen, but logically, I know that it’s possible. So, why risk losing Alex over something that may not even work out?
And just like that, I’ve managed to convince myself that this is the best option for all of us.
“Alright,” I say. “Just for now. I’ll keep us a secret.”
A flash of guilt runs through me. The thought of lying to Alex – starting as soon as I get back to the campus – makes me feel guilty as hell, actually. But, damn, I want him so much, and I love the way he’s looking at me right now. The way he always looks at me. I can’t get enough of it.
“Meet me tonight?” Finn asks, letting go of one of my hands to reach up and cup the side of my face.
“Yes,” I agree. “But where?”
“Somewhere more private, where we won’t be seen,” he says. His gaze never leaves my face, flicking between my eyes and my lips. “I know a club. I can get us a private room there. We can still enjoy a date, just without anyone else around.”
“Should I meet you there?” I ask. “If you pick me up again, she might see you.”
“Yes, but…” His thumb trails lightly across my lower lip, rough skin feeling like heaven against mine. “I’ll send a taxi for you. I don’t want you traveling on your own. It’s not safe.”
I almost want to laugh. “Getting the bus isn’t safe?”
“No,” he says, seriously. “Not getting the bus with strangers, or walking between places on your own. I don’t want any harm to come to you. Not even the slightest bit. I don’t even want you to be uncomfortable, not ever.”
He leans forward and kisses me gently, warmth spreading through my chest. When he offers to care for me like that, how can I put up a fight?
“Alright,” I say, looking at him through lowered lashes, made shy by the tenderness of his kiss. “Send a taxi. I’ll be waiting.”
And even as I get up to leave, I know it wouldn’t come quickly enough if he was to call me back before I make it down the street – because I want to spend every waking moment I have getting to know him.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Finn
I sit nervously in the private booth I booked for us, listening to the pounding music on the other side of the door. A door this time, not a curtain – because I wanted to be absolutely sure. Now I’m sitting waiting for Candy. The only reason I’m nervous is because I want to see her so badly – even the last few hours of separation felt like torture.
How can she have this claim on me, so quickly? I can’t get enough of her. I want her here, in my arms, as soon as possible. I want to touch her. I want so much more. I’m having a hard time reminding my inner caveman that I’m supposed to be taking it slow, making sure she’s comfortable because inside my head all I want to do is tear her clothes off the moment she steps inside the room.
And when she does, my heart nearly stops in my chest at the sight of the clothes she’s wearing.
“Hey,” she says, softly, biting her lower lip as the door closes behind her. This club is known for being tech-heavy, and no one should be able to open the door until our booked time is up or until we use the tablet on the table to make an order. For now, it’s just the two of us.
Which means me, and her – standing there in that barely-there sequined dress, riding up to mid-thigh as she moves toward me, cut to give me a glorious view of her cleavage. She tugs the fabric down over her thighs again modestly, but it isn’t quick enough to stop the surge of blood to my groin. I shift and stand from the comfortable booth seats to greet her, pulling her close to kiss her on the lips lightly and let her go.
“Candy,” I say, practically purring her name. Even just the sight of her does something serious to me. “You made it.”
“Am I late?” she asks, and I chuckle, thinking of our last date when the tables were turned. “No, you’re right on time. I just got impatient because I wanted to see you so badly.”
We take a seat next to each other, the bench seat allowing plenty of room. Candy’s dress starts to slip up her legs again and she tugs it down rapidly, shifting position to try to stop it from happening again.
“You look amazing,” I say, running my eyes over her hungrily. “I love this dress.”
“It’s new,” Candy says, giving me a nervous giggle. “I don’t know if it fits as well as I thought it did in the changing room.”
“Oh, it does,” I say. I trace a hand over her exposed thigh lightly, just lightly, because if I do anything more I might not be able to restrain myself. “Believe me.”
Candy blushes and squirms. I’ve noticed she doesn’t know exactly how to take it when I compliment her. My intention over the next days, weeks, and months is to ensure that she has enough of them to keep her in practice. “Should we order some drinks?” she asks.
“Yeah, we should. I’ll stick to soft drinks tonight, to keep you company.”
“I don’t mind,” she says. “You can have something stronger if you prefer it.”
“That’s alright,” I say. “I feel drunk enough already.”
“Oh, did you have something to drink before I got here?”
I look at Candy evenly. “No, I didn’t,” I say.
I wait for the penny to drop, for the flush to come over her face. “Oh,” she says, then looks at the floor shyly and grins.
We order our drinks through the tablet, and the waitress brings them in before leaving us in silence again. In that brief moment, we get a glimpse through to the dance floor beyond, couples swaying in time with the music, grinding up against one another, their bodies pressed close.
It makes me think about what I want to do to Candy, and that gets me so hot under the collar I can barely keep up with the conversation.
I know I should wait before we go any further. I’ve already told myself that enough times. This is about making sure that Candy has a good time, that she’s comfortable with me, and with this. Being the older one in this scenario means I have the responsibility not to push things too far. Especially not given the fact that we can’t risk my daughter finding out just yet. We ought to take it slow.
We really ought to. But that doesn’t mean my body is listening to my head.
“It’s completely private here, you know,” I tell her. “No one can see us. No matter what we do.”
“I know,” she says, tilting her head towards me and then looking away shyly. “That’s why you picked it, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” I say, acknowledging that I’m really stating the obvious. “What I mean is, we can do anything. Anything we like.”
Candy looks up at me. Her cheeks are flaming, but she doesn’t look away. “What would you like to do?” she asks.
That’s it. I can’t wait any longer. I can’t look into those eyes of hers, so wide and innocent and yet begging me to take action, and still keep my hands off her. I lean forward the slim distance between us and capture her mouth, drawing her into a deep kiss. When she leans into me I flick my tongue across her lips until they part and I can drive inside, claiming her mouth as mine, hardly stopping short of devouring her.
She moans and shifts even closer to me, and my hand goes to her thigh – and catches only skin, the dress riding up further and further up her leg, beckoning me to follow.
I should wait. Take her home. But no one would know. And with that thought, I know I’m lost.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Candy
I melt against him as he kisses me, our tongues tangling as his hand touches my thigh. It makes me want to move closer, closer – I don’t think anything could ever be enough. I want to climb inside him, to be so close that we no longer exist as two people. I want his
hands over every inch of me. I want him touching all of me at once.
But here?
I should stop him – I should pull away. This is a public place, no matter how private the booth may be. Someone could walk in at any time. But would they? Is it even likely? Am I holding back over nothing?
And I know I’m not even really holding back. I can’t get enough of his kiss, stirring my blood and making my heart beat so fast it feels like I’ve run a marathon. It feels like my nerves are on fire where he touches me, where I touch him, lifting my hands to rest on his shoulders for support. This is so wild – but is anyone even going to catch us?
If they do, will I care?
All I know right now is how much I want him. Everything else is disappearing so far into the distance I can no longer see it at all. Every worry I had earlier – what even were they? He’s driving me crazy and I can’t think anymore. I can only feel. And what I feel is very, very good. So good I want more and more and more, all the time, and I don’t want him to ever stop.
I have a flash of boldness; I don’t know where it comes from, but something in me stirs to life and tells me to take what I want. I think of the men and women dancing in the room next door. Whenever I’ve been to a bar or a party or even prom, there were always people who seemed confident enough to dance together without even thinking about it.
I’ve never been like that. I’ve always sat on the sidelines with my friends, giggling and wishing but never quite being bold enough to say what I want. To go up to someone and ask them to dance – or even to just start dancing and not care what might happen.
But today I feel bold. Maybe it’s the music, the atmosphere. Maybe it’s being here in this private space. Maybe it’s Finn himself, pushing me on and making me want to test my boundaries.
Whatever it is, I reach for his hand, the one that isn’t on my leg, and I lift it into the air. I guide it toward me and I press it against my breast until the palm of his hand is fully in contact with me, and then I let go, and I feel him begin to move on his own.
My Roommate's Dad: An Instalove Possessive Age Gap Romance Page 5