Ashes of Roses

by Melissa R. L. Simonin

  Miles laughed, and kissed the side of my face as he hugged me.

  “I much prefer your character, to that which would plunge me into abject suffering for the rest of my miserable days.”

  “No suffering for you,” I vowed, and kissed him. “What do we do with all this, though? Are we supposed to change it, somehow? And how on earth would we? Or should we, given the chance? Douglas did marry Evie, and they even had kids, despite the separate bedroom policy. He must not have been repulsed by her too much, at least not always. I guess.”

  “I honestly have no idea, about any of it,” Miles answered. “Although, changing any part of history would have ramifications I’m not willing to be responsible for. I can’t imagine that’s what this is about.”

  “It bears some odd resemblance to Ashley, Sir Edmund, and the Countess,” I considered. “Only Edmund isn’t willing to give up much of anything for Ashley, she’s the one suffering, and I don’t think the Countess would care or even notice, if he insulted her to her face.”

  “It wouldn’t surprise me to find you’re right,” Miles replied. “I don’t think we’ll figure out what our purpose is, if there is one, without more to go on. As for the present, we’ve got two murders, one body found, another missing, clues to follow, facts to find, and the reasonable expectation that this is our case to solve.”

  “Then let’s put off further mulling over the past for later, and go find Ashley.”

  Chapter 14

  “Very well then,” we heard Ashley say, as we followed a branch in the hallway back toward the entryway. “I’m afraid they shall have no choice but to feel so, if that is the case.”

  She sounded calm and cool, but also firm, and unsympathetic.

  “That is the room assignment given by Lady Carlisle, and I’ve no intention of asking the Wallaces to move out, so the Chiltons can move in. If they care to trouble you further, do send them to me.”

  Judging by the tone of her voice, the Chiltons would be wise not to.

  The click of a phone placed in its cradle, and a weary sigh, signaled the call was at an end.

  I wasted no time in knocking lightly on the doorframe. Who knew how long we’d have before we were interrupted.

  “Hi, Ashley,” I said as she glanced up. She smiled in response to my own, but she looked almost as weary as she sounded a moment ago.

  “Good afternoon,” she answered, as she set aside the sheets of paper in front of her, and stood. “I’m so very glad to see you. Please, come in.”

  “Thanks,” I said, as she motioned toward the office’s small seating area, then joined us there.

  “First off, how are you?” she asked with concern. “After last night, I mean to say.”

  “Much better,” I replied. “So much has happened since then, I haven’t had a lot of time to think about it.”

  “I suppose I can imagine, knowing what you’ve seen, but I do hope that means you were not much injured.”

  “Anika’s shoulder was bruised by the open wardrobe drawer,” Miles elaborated. “She also has a bump on the back of her head, but it’s not as pronounced as it was. She would still be in bed, otherwise.”

  I didn’t question which bed, or which country that would be in!

  “I’m grateful for that, at any rate,” Ashley said. “Have you been fed, today? I’m afraid it’s been as disjointed for you as yesterday was.”

  “We’ve eaten,” I assured her. “Today has been disjointed as you say, but that’s understandable. After returning from Finn’s house, we went looking for a woman we met on the ferry, and happened on the cafeteria. The staff invited us to join them, so we did.”

  Ashley rubbed her forehead, and sighed.

  “This is not how your visit was intended to be,” she said apologetically. “The number of unexpected circumstances is unprecedented, and I’m afraid the Carlisles are finding it difficult to maneuver around.”

  “Such as the early arrival of Monsieur Delacroix, and Countess Grieve?” I asked.

  “Yes. That did rather take us by surprise,” she replied. She couldn’t quite mask the flash of irritation in her eyes.

  “I suppose the benefit was in learning the east wing renovation was incomplete,” Miles commented. “That, or incorrectly completed.”

  “That must have been really unexpected, and hard to maneuver around,” I said. “Moving all those room assignments had to make everyone scramble. Do you know what was wrong?”

  “I believe it was incomplete in some way,” Ashley answered. “I was notified of the room changes, and that the east wing is off limits until Lady Carlisle says otherwise.”

  “It’s sort of odd that none of the housemaids noticed anything, themselves,” I hinted.

  “Nor did I,” Ashley admitted. “I wonder myself, what could have been discovered that would close the entire wing.”

  Her forehead furrowed as she pondered that, perhaps for the first time.

  “What room was Monsieur Delacroix in?” I asked.

  “Eleven,” Ashley was kind enough to answer. “It is a puzzle.”

  “Who was hired to do the renovation?” Miles asked.

  “I’m afraid I don’t know,” Ashley replied. “It is Lady Carlisle who decides and oversees such things. I don’t believe I ever knew.”

  “At what end of the wing did the project begin?” I asked.

  “Nearest the stairs…” Ashley considered. “Room eleven, and so on.”

  “How recent is this project?” I asked. “It was ensuite facilities being installed, if we heard correctly.”

  Which we did.

  “Yes, the project has been going on bit by bit, for several years now,” Ashley frowned a little. She looked puzzled. “Those completed were in use during the past two balls. I really don’t know what to make of it, but… I don’t suppose it matters all that much. It’s Lady Carlisle, who will see it’s sorted.”

  I wondered what the chances were that what she saw to, was bashing in the cranium of the renovation company’s owner, with a blunt object. Was Lady Carlisle physically capable of such a feat? And, was it Gerald Abernathy’s company that was hired to do the work?

  We’d have to look elsewhere, for the answers to those questions. As for the current topic, I had what I was after. Since Miles didn’t add to that, I moved on.

  “Have there been any updates in the past hour on the man killed in the garden, or what happened to Finn’s greenhouse, and where he might be?”

  “Not that I have been told,” Ashley’s eyebrows knit with concern. “Do you have any theories, yourselves?”

  “Not exactly, but we are worried about Finn,” I replied. “We’d like to find him, and make sure he’s alright.”

  “If Finn left of his own free will, do you have any idea why he would, and where he would go?” Miles asked.

  “I wish that I did, but I’m afraid I can’t imagine what the answer would be to either of those questions. The roses were all he cared about. I’ve no idea where he would go, or why. Perhaps the head gardener would.”

  “The head gardener?” I asked in surprise. But of course, the grounds were huge, and there were many gardens. It stood to reason there would be multiple gardeners, including one to oversee.

  “Yes, Billy Forester. He’ll be better acquainted with Finn than anyone else, I should think.”

  “Where would we be most likely to find Billy Forester?” I questioned.

  “Today being less than ordinary, I haven’t much clue,” Ashley said regretfully. “I’m quite certain he’s assisting the authorities in searching for the missing body, the same as the rest of those employed to care for the gardens. I’m afraid that’s as much as I know.”

  “Well…” Miles said, as we shared a glance. “You did want to explore the grounds.”

  “Do you still?” Ashley asked apprehensively, and we couldn’t help laughing a little.

  “Stumbling onto scenes of homicide isn’t a common occurrence for us, so I’m willing to chance it,” Miles
smiled. “Although, if we happen on any more, it may ensure we’re not invited back.”

  Ashley and I both laughed at that. Ashley kept on laughing, but it looked to me as though she had a lot of pent up emotion taking the opportunity to escape. What Miles said was funny, but not enough to bring tears to someone’s eyes.

  “I apologize,” Ashley said, as she looked up and waved her hand in front of her face in an effort to stem the tears. “I’m not certain why that struck me as it did. It’s really more terrible, than amusing.”

  “It’s fine,” I replied sympathetically, because now I knew I was right. I also knew she was ready to talk, but probably not if Miles was there.

  He glanced at his smart watch.

  “Xander’s calling.”

  “Probably with this morning’s update on the kids,” I said. What perfect timing!

  “Would you mind excusing me for a few minutes?” Miles said, as he stood, and removed his phone from his pocket.

  Ashley’s eyes were wide with surprise.

  “Of course,” she hurried to say. “I had no idea! If only any of us did, your children would have been most welcome!”

  I laughed.

  “I’m sure they would’ve been glad to come with us. The dogs, anyway. The cats, probably not so much.”

  Trixie offered to bring them, regardless. I was supremely thankful that was all she did!

  “We refer to our pets as the kids,” Miles smiled, as he stood.

  “Oh. I see,” Ashley laughed a little. “Well, then. I suppose it’s just as well. Please, use the inner office, if you like.”

  “Alright. Thank you,” Miles replied. He kissed my cheek before he left, and I was pretty sure what he left me with, was a force field. I was fine with that. It gave me peace of mind, just as it did him.

  Ashley and I watched the door as it latched behind him, then she turned back to me. Her expression was serious now.

  “Something your husband said at dinner, set me thinking. The part about your being a daughter of the King.”

  “I remember,” I acknowledged, and she nodded slightly.

  “There was a time, the same could be said of me,” Ashley remarked ruefully, and for a moment, she was lost in thought.

  “What changed?” I prompted gently.

  Ashley’s forehead creased faintly, as she considered that.

  “I suppose I fell in love with Edmund,” she replied, as she shook her head sadly, and sighed in resignation. “It’s hard to understand how I could ever imagine it would turn out differently. When Miles said what he did… and Edmund was behaving so strangely… it struck me, that I spent the past several years slowly compromising. I rationalized that we were together, we were committed, and inevitably we’d marry. Not that anyone was aware. Certainly not Lady Carlisle. If the timing wasn’t just right, she’d never accept it, Edmund said. I do wonder now, why I accepted it, myself.”

  Ashley frowned slightly, as she gave that more thought.

  “It wasn’t commitment, at all. I saw that, as he sat there, refusing even to glance my direction. I realized how far I was from the devoted daughter I once was, and… for what? If an engagement was to be announced that night at dinner, I should have thought it would be our own. Instead… I learnt of his engagement to the Countess, along with the rest of those present.”

  Ashley rubbed her forehead wearily.

  “I was shaken to the core. I saw my life, and my devotion to Edmund all those years, in a new light. I felt awake to the truth at last, and determined to do different, to be wise, and… then Edmund came. He said it wasn’t his idea or what he wanted, and nothing was changed between us, which should have been offensive rather than reassuring, but… that same blindness came over me again. All my wise resolves crumbled.”

  She half-laughed, but not as though anything was remotely amusing.

  “I don’t suppose you’ve ever had such reason for regret as I have,” she sighed.

  I prayed I understood where she was going with this. I’d help her a lot more, if I did.

  “My reasons are different, but I do have them,” I replied. “You regret being so easily distracted from your relationship and devotion to God. Well, I’ve been there. My family fell on hard times when I was in high school. Things got pretty bleak for us. I suppose deep down, I felt abandoned. If I prayed at all, it wasn’t much. Even when I experienced the most excruciating loss of my life… I didn’t seek comfort, or healing, or meaning, from God. I didn’t seek Him at all. In spite of that, He restored to me more than I ever thought possible. I didn’t deserve it, but it was never about that. Otherwise, Jesus never would’ve given His life to save mine. All I could afford was death, and separation from God. If it was about what I deserved, that would’ve been the end of it, and me. He knew that, and because He loves me, He wouldn’t be satisfied with that. He took on my sin, all the ways in which I rebelled and chose my own way, rather than what God says is right and for my good, and that of others. He paid for it Himself with His own life, and gave me His righteousness, instead. But His love and determination to save me, didn’t end there. He knew going into it that I’d fail in the future, and He covered that, too.”

  “I suppose I am feeling rather insecure as to my reception, now I’ve come to my senses,” Ashley admitted earnestly.

  She might suppose, but I knew. Because that was the truth.

  “Jesus knew that’s how we’d feel when we mess up big, and assign greater value to something or someone, besides Him. He told the story of the prodigal son, and that of the lost sheep, to remind us not to buy into the lie that Jesus saves us once, and after that, it’s up to us. Sanctification is a process. It doesn’t happen the moment we believe, or the moment we’re baptized. It takes a lifetime. When we realize we’ve messed up, what matters is that we repent, we put Him at the top of the priority list where He belongs, and we thank Him for loving us, imperfect though we are on our own. We thank Him by living lives of gratitude, and not giving up when we mess up, because otherwise, we’re saying He didn’t do it all. He did, and that’s powerful motivation.”

  “I never thought of those two parables in that way,” Ashley considered. “I suppose I thought they were about those who had yet to believe, and did at last.”

  “It doesn’t fit though, does it,” I replied. “The prodigal son was already a son, before he intentionally left his father, and squandered his inheritance on immoral pursuits. The son then returned. He had to leave home in the first place, to do that. The hundredth sheep also wandered away. It had to be part of the flock, to do so. My Bible’s in my room. Whenever you have time, we’ll look at it together. There are so many comforting verses about God ensuring our sanctification. I don’t have them all memorized yet, but I’ve got a bunch of them flagged with post-its. I’m absolutely certain you need to hear them, and that you’ll find them reassuring.”

  “I feel rather that way already,” Ashley admitted. “I’d like very much to see them. So… how was it that you came back? That you became the daughter your husband spoke of, at dinner?”

  “Miles had a lot to do with that,” I answered. “When he came back—to the estate—he did a lot of encouraging. He knew I believed, but that I’d become distracted, and that I needed help refocusing. So he helped me. I’m very grateful to him for that.”

  “It sickens me to look back and realize that instead of encouraging Edmund to grow in that direction, I moved increasingly further away, myself,” Ashley said ruefully. “I feel I failed, in so many ways.”

  “So… where do you go from here?” I asked. Maybe she already knew. If not, I’d nudge her in the right direction.

  “Other than to repent, and never make the same mistakes again, I don’t know,” Ashley’s eyebrows knit.

  “You also need encouragement,” I said. “Do you have any friends, or anyone in your life, who’s a fellow believer?”

  “Only you, I’m afraid,” Ashley admitted.

  “Then it’s vital that you get connected wi
th other local Christians, so that you have the frequent encouragement you need. Church is vital. The weekly worship service is kind of like a reset or refocus button. Bible classes are also important for a lot of reasons, one being that they’re great places to form relationships with others. I know next to nothing about what’s available around here, but Bible Study Fellowship is international. There’s time to get connected and sign up for fall, and in the meantime, there’s bound to be classes offered by local area churches. Some internet searches, and maybe a few phone calls, and you’ll find something.”

  “I will, I’ll start searching today,” Ashley said with resolve.

  “That’s great,” I approved. “You need to be in relationship with other believers. It’s important to have fellowship. Sometimes people make the mistake of focusing all their attention on relationships with others though, and forget the One who matters most.”

  “I did that with Edmund,” Ashley said sadly.

  “So, be mindful that you don’t do the same thing with the Christian friends you make. A lot of people do, without realizing it. They talk about a relationship with God, but they don’t really invest in one. So read your Bible, and let God speak to you through it. Make it a daily habit, and spend time speaking to God in prayer, and not just about Him, with others. As James four, verse eight says, ‘come near to God, and He will come near to you.’ It’s what He wants, and Jesus willingly died to make it possible. So don’t let feelings of guilt, regret, unworthiness, or anything else get in the way of that.”

  “Alright, I won’t,” Ashley said. There were tears in her eyes, but it was relief that caused them. A weight was lifted, that was easy to see.

  “That’s great,” I smiled, and hugged her. I was thankful to find the forcefield didn’t have me penned in. This would be a terrible time to act like a mime! Not that any time, would be a good time. “Welcome back, sister.”

  Ashley laughed, and brushed the tears aside.

  “Thank you,” she smiled. “It’s good to be back.”

  There was a thud, and we turned to look at the doorway. Sir Edmund stood there, a bewildered look on his face, as he rubbed his nose.