Beautiful Redemption

by Jamie McGuire

  "Oh, good Lord, Shepley Maddox!" Deana wailed.

  "I'm not going to use this time for any of that. Instead, I'll just raise my glass to Mr. and Mrs. Maddox. From the beginning and through all their highs and lows and through the last year while everyone told them that they were crazy and that it wouldn't work, they loved each other. That has always been the constant, and I know it always will be. To the bride and groom."

  "Hear, hear!" Jim yelled, raising his glass.

  We raised our drinks as we chanted the same and then clapped while Travis and Abby kissed. He looked into her eyes with such affection. It was a familiar affection--the same way Thomas looked at me.

  I rested my chin on my palm, watching the sky bruise with pinks and purples. The lights hanging from the edges of the white canvas ceiling were blowing in the gentle breeze.

  After America gave her speech, the music began to play. At first, no one danced, but after the third round of drinks, almost everyone was on the dance floor. The brothers, including Thomas, were teasing Travis with their own Travis-like dance moves, and I was giggling so hard that tears were streaming down my face.

  Abby strolled across the room and sat next to me, watching the boys from her new seat. "Wow," she said. "I think they're trying to scare poor Cami off."

  "I don't think that's possible," I said, wiping my cheeks.

  Abby watched me until I looked at her. "She's going to be my sister-in-law soon, I hear."

  "Yes. The proposal was quite entertaining."

  She turned her head to the side a bit and clicked her tongue. "Trent always is. So, you were there?"

  "I was." I wished Thomas had never warned me about how smart she was. Her calculating eyes made me want to sink back into my seat.

  "For the entire thing?" she asked.

  "For most of it. Travis was the first to leave."

  "Were there strippers?"

  I sighed in relief. "Just Trenton."

  "Dear Jesus," she said, shaking her head.

  After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, I spoke up, "It was a beautiful ceremony. Congratulations."

  "Thank you. You're Liis, right?"

  I nodded. "Liis Lindy. Nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you. Poker phenom? So impressive," I said without an ounce of condescension.

  "What else did Thomas tell you?" she asked.

  "He told me about the fire."

  Abby looked down and then to her husband. "A year ago today." Her mind drifted off to somewhere unpleasant, and then she snapped back to reality. "We weren't there, thank God. We were in Vegas. Obviously. Getting married."

  "Was Elvis there?"

  Abby laughed. "He was! He was. We were married in the Graceland Chapel. It was perfect."

  "You've got family out there, right?"

  Abby's shoulders relaxed. She was as cool as ice. I wondered if even Val could get a read on her.

  "My dad. We don't speak."

  "So, I guess he didn't go to the wedding."

  "No. We didn't tell anyone."

  "Really? I thought Trent and Cami knew. But that can't be right because he was at the fight that night, right? Christ, that's scary. We're lucky we're looking at him making an ass of himself right now."

  Abby nodded. "We weren't there. People say"--she chuckled--"that we ran off to Vegas to get married to give Travis an alibi. I mean, how ridiculous."

  "I know," I said, trying to sound disinterested. "That would be crazy. And you obviously love him."

  "I do," she said with conviction. "They say that I married him for something other than love. Even if it were true--and it's not--that's just...well, it's fucking moronic. If I had whisked him off to Vegas to marry him for an alibi, it would have been out of love, right? Wouldn't that have been the goddamn point? Wouldn't that have been the ultimate act of love for someone? To go against your own rules because you love that person too much?"

  The more she talked, the angrier she became.

  "Absolutely," I said.

  "If I did save him, it was because I loved him. There is no other reason to do that for someone, is there?"

  "I don't know of any," I said.

  "But I wasn't saving him from the fire. We weren't even there. That's what pisses me off the most."

  "No, I totally get it. Don't let them ruin your night. If they want to hate on everything, let them. You get to determine how this plays out. This isn't their story to tell."

  She offered a smile, shifting nervously in her seat. "Thank you. I'm glad you came. It's nice to see Thomas happy again. It's nice to see Thomas at all." She smiled and sighed, content. "Promise me you'll have your wedding here, so I have an excuse to come back."

  "Pardon?"

  "It's still new with Thomas and you, right? And he brought you to a wedding. That's a very non-Maddox thing for him to do if he's not head over heels, which I'm willing to bet that he is." She turned to watch the dance floor, satisfied. "And I never lose a bet."

  "He didn't want to be the only one without a date."

  "Bullshit. You two are as thick as thieves. You've got it bad. I can tell," she said with a mischievous grin. She was trying to make me squirm and enjoying the hell out of it.

  "Is this your version of an initiation?" I asked.

  She laughed and leaned over, touching her bare shoulder to mine. "You caught me."

  "What are you doing, bitches?" America said, shimmying over to us. "This is a fucking party! We're dancing!"

  She tugged on Abby's hand and then mine. We joined the mob on the dance floor. Thomas grabbed my hand, twirled me around, pulled me until my back was against him, and then folded his arms across my middle.

  We danced until my feet hurt, and then I noticed Abby and America hugging America's parents good night. Then, Jack and Deana left, and we all hugged Jim before he left for his room.

  Travis and Abby were eager to be alone, so they thanked us all for coming, and Travis carried her away into the night.

  We said our good-byes, and then Thomas pulled me along the dimly lit curved sidewalk until we were at the beach.

  "Hammock," he said, pointing to a dark form twenty yards from the water.

  I pulled off my shoes, and Thomas did the same before we strolled through the white sand. Thomas sat down on the woven ropes first, and then I joined him. It rocked as we struggled to navigate the hammock without falling out.

  "This should be easier for us," Thomas teased.

  "You should probably--"

  The hammock jerked. We held on to each other and froze, our eyes wide. Then, we both burst into laughter.

  As soon as we were settled, a drop of rain hit my cheek.

  More drops fell, and Thomas wiped his eye. "You have got to be kidding me."

  The rain began to fall in big warm drops, tapping at the sand and the water.

  "I'm not moving," he said, squeezing me in his thick arms.

  "Then, neither am I," I said, nuzzling my cheek against his chest. "Why did Toto's babysitter and Camille both call you T.J.?"

  "It was how they talked about me without letting anyone know it was me."

  "Thomas James," I said. "Clever. Is the other girl an ex, too?"

  He chuckled. "No. She was Camille's roommate."

  "Oh."

  Thomas anchored his foot on the sand and then pushed off, rocking us a bit.

  "This is incredible. I could definitely retire here. It feels so...I can't even describe it."

  He kissed my temple. "This feels a lot like falling in love."

  The rain clouds had snuffed out the moon, making the sky pitch-black. The muffled music still playing at Sails sounded a mile away, and hotel guests were running to get out of the rain. We might as well have been on a secluded island, away from everyone else, lying together in our small but quiet section of the beach.

  "Splat?" I asked.

  "Obliteration," he said.

  I squeezed him, and he took in a deep breath through his nose.

  "I hate myself for s
aying this, but we should probably turn in. We've got an early morning."

  I looked up at him. "It's going to be okay, you know. Travis will be fine. We'll get rid of Grove. It's all going to work out."

  "I just want to think about you tonight. Tomorrow is going to be tough."

  "I'll do my best to keep your attention." I wiggled out of the hammock and got to my feet. I helped him out, and I pulled his lips down to meet mine, sucking his bottom lip as I drew back.

  He hummed. "I have no doubt. You've been an impeccable distraction."

  My heart sank.

  "What?" he asked, seeing the hurt in my eyes.

  "Why don't you just admit it? Just say it out loud. You're using me to stop thinking about her. That's not closure. It's stalling."

  His face fell. "That's not what I meant."

  "This isn't falling in love, Thomas. You said it perfectly. I'm running interference."

  Above us, motion caught my eyes, and Thomas looked up, too. Trenton was twirling Camille on the balcony of Sails, and then he brought her into his arms. She squealed in delight, they both laughed, and then they disappeared from our view.

  Thomas looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. His eyebrows pulled in. "Being with her was a mistake. Trenton has loved her since they were kids, but I didn't think he was serious enough about her. I was wrong."

  "Then, why can't you just let her go?"

  "I'm trying."

  "Using me to do it doesn't count."

  He breathed out a laugh. "I'm running out of ways to explain this to you."

  "Then, stop. I need a different answer, and you don't have one."

  "You act as is loving someone can just be flipped off like a light switch. We've had this conversation a dozen times. I want you. I'm with you."

  "While you're missing her, wishing you were with her. And you want me to change everything I trust for that?"

  He shook his head in disbelief. "This is an impossible situation. I thought we were perfect because we're the same, but maybe we're too alike. Maybe you're my payback instead of my redemption."

  "Your payback? You've made me believe all weekend that you were falling for me!"

  "I am! I have! Jesus Christ, Camille, how can I get that through your head?"

  I froze, and once Thomas realized his mistake, he did, too.

  "Goddamn it. I am so sorry," he said, reaching out for me.

  I shook my head, and my eyes burned. "I am so...stupid."

  Thomas let his hands fall to his thighs. "No, you're not. That's why you've held back. Even from the first night, you knew to keep your distance. You're right. I can't love you the way you need me to. I don't even love myself." His voice broke on the last sentence.

  My lips pressed into a hard line. "I can't redeem you, Thomas. You'll have to come to terms with what you did to Trent on your own."

  Thomas nodded and then turned toward the sidewalk. I stayed behind, watching the dark ocean roll onto the sand, with the sky crying on my shoulders.

  "YOU LOOK NERVOUS," I SAID. "He's going to smell you from a mile away if you don't man up."

  Thomas glanced at me, but instead of shooting me the dirty look I had expected, he used amazing restraint, simply looking away.

  A knock on the door jolted us both to the matter at hand, and I went to the door, opening it.

  "Good morning, Liis," Travis said, a euphoric glow on his face.

  "Come on in, Travis." I stepped to the side, letting him pass, as I tried to keep the heavy guilt I felt from weighing down my Oscar-worthy smile. "How was your night? I don't need details. I'm just being polite."

  Travis chuckled and then noticed the folded sheets, blanket, and pillow on the couch. "Oh," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Better than your night, brother. Should I, uh...should I come back? The front desk left me a note, saying you needed me to come here at six."

  "Yeah," Thomas said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Have a seat, Trav."

  Travis walked over to the couch and sat down, looking up at us with wary eyes. "What's going on?"

  I sat down on the corner of the bed, keeping my shoulders relaxed and trying to seem generally nonthreatening. "Travis, we need to talk to you about your involvement in the March nineteenth ESU fire."

  Travis furrowed his brow, and then he laughed once without humor. "What?"

  I continued, "The FBI has been investigating the case, and Thomas has been able to strike a deal in your favor."

  Travis clasped his hands together. "The FBI? But he's an ad exec." He gestured to his brother. "Tell her, Tommy." When Thomas didn't respond, Travis's eyes narrowed. "What is this?"

  Thomas looked down and then back at his brother. "I'm not in advertising, Trav. I'm a Special Agent of the FBI."

  Travis stared at his brother for a full ten seconds and then cackled. "Oh my God, dude! You were beginning to freak me out. Don't do that to me! What do you really need to talk to me about?" His laughter faded when Thomas didn't crack a smile. "Tommy, knock it off."

  Thomas shifted. "I've been working with my boss for a year now, Travis, trying to negotiate a deal for you. They know you were in Eakins. Abby's plan didn't work."

  Travis shook his head. "What plan?"

  "For the wedding in Vegas to provide you with an alibi to keep you out of prison," Thomas said, trying to keep his expression relaxed.

  "Abby married me to keep me out of prison?"

  Thomas's eyes fell, but he nodded. "She doesn't want you to know."

  Travis jumped up, grabbed Thomas's shirt, and shoved him all the way to the other side of the room against the wall. I stood, but Thomas held out his hand, warning me away.

  "C'mon, Travis, you're not stupid. I'm not telling you anything you don't know," Thomas grunted.

  "Take it back," Travis seethed. "Take back what you said about my wife."

  "She was nineteen, Travis. She didn't want to get married until you were at risk for going to prison for organizing the fight."

  Travis took a swing at Thomas, but he ducked. They scuffled, and then Thomas got the upper hand, pinning his younger brother to the wall with his forearm.

  "Knock it off! Goddamn it! She loves you! She loves you so much that she did something she had no intention of doing for years down the line just so she could save your stupid ass!"

  Travis was breathing hard, and he held up his hands in surrender.

  Thomas let him go, taking a step back, and then Travis swung, catching Thomas hard in the jaw. Thomas gripped his knee with one hand and clenched his jaw with the other, trying to harness his temper.

  Travis pointed at him. "That's for lying to Dad."

  Thomas stood upright and then held up his index finger. "That's your one. Don't make me beat your ass. I feel bad enough."

  Travis looked at me, sizing me up. "You're really FBI?"

  I nodded, eyeing him warily. "Don't make me beat your ass either."

  Travis laughed once. "I'd have to let you. I don't hit girls."

  "I hit boys," I said, still on guard.

  Thomas rubbed his cheek and raised his eyebrows. "You hit harder than you used to."

  "That wasn't even full power, dickhead," Travis sneered.

  Thomas worked his jaw back and forth. "Abby gets points for creativity, Trav, but the records show that you purchased the tickets on your credit card well after the fire started."

  Travis simply nodded. "I'm listening."

  "I've also been working on a case involving a money-laundering and drug-smuggling ring in Vegas. It's run by a man named Benny Carlisi."

  "Benny?" Travis asked, clearly confused. "Tommy, are you fuckin' serious right now? You're in the motherfucking FBI."

  "Focus, Travis. We don't have much time, and this is important," Thomas snapped. "You're in a lot of trouble. My boss is expecting an answer today. Do you understand?"

  "What kind of trouble?" Travis sat back down on the couch.

  "You're looking at the same counts of manslaughter that Adam was charged
with. You're looking at prison time."

  "How long?" Travis asked. He seemed like a scared little boy when he looked up with his big brown eyes at his brother.

  "Adam has ten years," Thomas said, trying to retain his stoic expression. "I don't see your sentence having a different outcome. The media has been all over this. They want retribution."

  Travis looked down, and his hands touched his head. "I can't be away from Abby that long."

  His words tugged at my heart. He didn't care about going to prison. He just didn't want to be separated from his wife.

  "You won't have to go to prison, Travis," I said. "Your brother has spent a lot of time and effort making sure that won't happen. But you have to agree to something first."

  Travis glanced to Thomas and then back at me. "Like what?"

  Thomas returned his hands to his pockets. "They want to recruit you, Trav."

  "The mob?" he asked. He shook his head. "I can't fight for Benny. Abby will leave me."

  "Not the mob," Thomas said. "The FBI."

  Travis laughed once. "What do they want with me? I'm a college kid...a fucking part-time personal trainer."

  "They want you to use your previous contact with Mick and Benny to gain intelligence on the inner workings of their illegal operations," I said.

  "They want you to work undercover," Thomas clarified.

  Travis stood and began to pace. "He'll want me to fight for him, Tommy. I can't do that. I'll lose my wife."

  "Then, you'll have to lie," I said matter-of-factly.

  Travis looked at me and then at his brother, crossing his arms. "Fuck you both. I won't do it."

  "What?" Thomas said.

  "I won't lie to Pigeon."

  Thomas narrowed his eyes. "You don't have a choice. You can either lie to Abby and keep her or go to prison and lose her."

  "I won't lie. Can't I tell her? She grew up around men like Benny. She won't blab."

  Thomas shook his head. "You'll put her in danger."

  "She'll be in danger if I fuck with these guys! You think they'll shoot me in the head and be done with it? People like that take out your entire family. We'll be lucky if they stop with Abby. They'll probably move on to Dad and Trent, Taylor, and Tyler, too! What the fuck have you done, Tommy?"

  "Help me take them down, Travis," Thomas said.

  "You sold us out. For what? A goddamn promotion?" Travis shook his head.