Remember Hope

by Ginny Sterling

  As they wrapped up, Daisy remembered something.

  “Everyone – please set a reminder or mark your calendars. Two weeks from now on April 8th we are not having session. I have a wedding to attend and will not be available that evening for group. If you need to talk, please call or we can meet earlier in the day.”

  “Congratulations. Are you in the wedding?” Ava asked, and Daisy felt a twinge of guilt knowing the woman’s history. She knew that what had happened to her would traumatize her for quite some time and it would take someone incredible to bring her out of her shell.

  “No, it’s actually a girl I grew up with that is getting married. I’ve known Lily for years; in fact we used to get teased all the time about our names. Lily and Daisy. I even went to school with a girl named Marigold. Something about East Texas makes people think of flowers. You’d think there would be a lot more girls named Rose living here,” she quipped, winking at the pun since Tyler, Texas was famous for their Rose Festival.

  “I hope you have a wonderful time.”

  “Me too. It’s been a while since I have seen her and I was shocked to get the invitation in the mail the other day.”

  “So that was your hopeful event this week?”

  Daisy did a doubletake. She hadn’t thought about it but it was nice to be remembered and invited to the wedding. “Actually, I think the invitation was. It gives me a reason to get all dolled up and dress fancy. Who knows- maybe I will clean up nicely? Have a good weekend, Ava.”

  Closing the door behind Ava, Daisy turned around to see Ethan sitting on the couch with Baxter in his lap, gnawing on a chew toy. Ethan was spoiling the puppy, bringing him a treat every time he came by for group sessions. The two of them looked quite comfortable together and seemed to just ‘fit’ in to her life. She was struck by how handsome he was right now, wearing a warm-toned plaid shirt that seemed to make his eyes look even more tempting, plus he had a scruff of growth on his chin that made her think about their kiss the other night.

  “Can I play with Baxter a while longer? I think he missed me this week.”

  “Of course, or you can take him home if we are still meeting for dinner tomorrow?”

  “Actually, I can’t. I checked after the last time you mentioned it and my lease specifically has a clause in it regarding animals. This little fella isn’t allowed,” Ethan said, playing with the little jowls and floppy ears. Baxter let out a high-pitched bark of excitement and Ethan simply smiled at Daisy. “And that little bark is why I can’t.”

  “Oh,” she whispered, taking a seat on the small couch nearby.

  “Do you want me to go ahead and go? I can if I’m bothering you.”

  “No, you aren’t. Do you want pizza? I can put on a movie or something.”

  “I don’t want to overstep my welcome and I am afraid that I am.”

  “Not at all,” she admitted. “I… uh… well…”

  “You know, you can say no,” Ethan said softly, petting Baxter. “I know you’ve been kind to me and let me watch TV a few times. You then went out with me and you know, if this isn’t it for you- just say something. You wouldn’t be the first girl to break off a date with me.”

  “It’s not that.”

  “Than what’s wrong that you are afraid to say?”

  Daisy almost smiled. It was like the roles were reversed right now and he was asking the questions that hit home. His dark eyes watched her and her heart betrayed what her mind was saying. She really liked the man and wanted to continue down the path they were on.

  “I really like you and this is all a bit scary.”

  “Oh, thank goodness,” he whispered, the relief evident in his voice. Ethan let out his breath and she did laugh then.

  “I guess you didn’t want to hear ‘no’ after all?”

  “I’m more of a ‘yes, man’. Remember I asked about the kiss earlier? I’d prefer to hear yes over the word no,” he teased, winking at her and grew still all of a sudden. “Do you have someone taking you to the wedding?”

  “I might… if you are asking me to go,” she hedged.

  “I’d like to take you… and I can order pizza for us if you don’t mind the company a little while longer?” Ethan offered, smiling shyly. He ruffled the puppy’s ears again, drawing out another high-pitched bark of happiness that caused Daisy to jump.

  “Yes.”

  Daisy blurted out the single word in an instant. She liked the way he looked at her like she was something incredible. He made her feel like a beautiful woman, not just a business transaction between them as they talked. Even during session, she felt his eyes on her and it was everything in her not to stare at him in admiration.

  “Yes, to the pizza?”

  “And to a kiss,” Daisy said shyly, seeing his eyes darken with desire as he immediately pulled her into his arms.

  Chapter 11

  Happy didn’t even begin to describe how Daisy felt seeing Ethan standing at her front door on Saturday. When she opened it and saw him standing there, grinning, with an assortment of flowers wrapped in cellophane, pinched between his teeth, her heart surged in delight. Since they’d stepped over the ledge moving to a personal relationship- not just business- she felt so energetic and complete. She knew deep in her heart that it was completely out of the realm of imagination to think that she could be falling for Ethan so quickly… but deep inside, she knew that was exactly what this feeling was.

  She was falling for Ethan – hard.

  Ethan was everything she could have wanted in a boyfriend. It felt odd saying the title aloud because he was anything but boyish, unless he was teasing her. Considerate, thoughtful, tender – he was simply beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. Smiling, Daisy reached up to remove the flowers from his lips so he could talk.

  “Do you want to come in?”

  “Actually, I made us reservations and we probably need to head out,” he said sheepishly. “I wanted to take you somewhere nice.”

  “Anywhere is perfect as long as we are enjoying ourselves.”

  “I knew you’d say that,” he began and stopped for a moment. She could see the hesitation and fear in his eyes as he looked at her. “But I wanted to make this special because what we are building is a miracle to me.”

  “Oh Ethan,” Daisy whispered, feeling tears of emotion spring to her eyes. “This is incredible, isn’t it?”

  “It’s been a long time since I have felt so complete and I think it’s because of you.”

  His words made her heart sink a little. This was just exactly what she had been afraid of. He was putting his happiness in her, relying on her to be able to get by in his daily life. She didn’t want to ruin the date so early by telling him her concerns. Instead, she played it off and shrugged.

  “Maybe it’s just you?” she said lightly. “You’ve been doing so good and don’t need anyone, you know? It’s like Baxter. He couldn’t care less if I am there or not, but when I am he likes to be petted and played with.”

  “I don’t think that is the case but now I’m jealous of Baxter,” he replied. “Are you ready to go or do you need to get your purse?”

  “I’m ready,” she answered quickly, pulling the door shut behind her. She got into the truck and was surprised to see him lean towards her, quickly kissing her on the cheek.

  “You look lovely.”

  “Thank you,” she murmured, feeling shy and a little self-conscious. She’d worn a long dress that fell just past her knees. She loved the gown and the way it made her feel so very feminine. It was light purple, with tiny sprinkles of flowers scattered everywhere, but how the material fell- it flared out from the hip, giving it a fullness without having to be pleated. Her prosthetics were not as pretty, but functional. The plastic cups that held her knees were hidden by the skirt but instead of showing an ankle, you could see the steel tubing that connected onto the false foot. Something she’d grown accustomed to, she expected to see Ethan look at it right away or comment on it.

  He didn’t sa
y a word, only having eyes for her. While that was wonderful and everything she could have ever asked for, it scared her too. How long would something like this be sustained between them? Was she ready for the disappointment that would come eventually?

  Daisy was so lost in thought; she hadn’t realized that they had actually been driving for some time until she glanced up to see that they were exiting. Looking around, she saw mesquite trees and pines as far as the eye could see. A split-rail fence lined a long drive opening to a parking lot that held what looked to be a large barn. Just behind the building, an open field lay bare except for the vines that were strung along in rows with the barest hint of greenery on the limbs.

  “Are those grapes?”

  “I thought we’d try something different. Have you ever been to a winery?”

  “I don’t drink.”

  “Neither do I,” he admitted. “This is a steakhouse and winery. Let me spoil you for a bit and just play along.” Ethan got out of the truck and opened her door for her. As they walked up to the building, she couldn’t help but gasp at how beautiful it all was.

  The exterior might have looked like an old barn, but the interior was majestic. Soaring beams dripping with chandeliers gave off a soft glow. Each table was separated by a wall, draped with a thick velvet curtain that was held back with a large rope tie. Linen tablecloths were spread on the tables making everything look so fancy, so immaculate.

  “I feel completely under-dressed,” she whispered to Ethan as they were led to a table nearby. He waited politely for Daisy to take her seat and then sat down across from her.

  “You are the most breathtaking woman in the building, I promise you.”

  “This is really nice,” she hedged, looking at him. “That means really expensive in my book and completely unnecessary.”

  “Stop worrying and let’s enjoy the evening. There is a dock behind here where we can feed the fish or sit and look at the stars… although…” he said with a half-smile. His deep eyes were intense. “I believe the most beautiful ones are shining in your eyes right now.”

  Flushing, Daisy didn’t know what to say. She’d never had anyone look at her or talk to her like that before. It was hard to take a compliment, and here was the most handsome man she’d ever been fortunate enough to date spewing them out like it was nothing. He was going to have to find another group to meet with because she couldn’t have it hanging over her head like a dark cloud when all she wanted to do was bask in the attention from him – for however long it lasted.

  The waiter came and took their order, bringing them samples of the house wine that was made on site. She started to protest as the waiter began to pour, but at his insistence he recommended each of them take a sip, putting only the tiniest amount in the wine glasses. Ethan’s eyebrow shot up, silently challenging her as he took his glass. Laughing, Daisy picked up her own.

  “To first impressions,” Ethan said, tapping his glass lightly against hers.

  “To first impressions.”

  Daisy took a sip and felt the warm, sweet red wine wrap around her tongue. It was like having a sweet warm aromatic drink that beckoned you for another sip. The grape in the wine wasn’t bitter or dry like she’d had one other time; no this reminded her of liquid candy with a potency to it.

  “Mercy,” she breathed, feeling the alcoholic vapors escape her mouth. “That is strong, sweet, and delicious.”

  “Reminds me of someone I know,” Ethan quipped huskily in front of the waiter. Daisy knew her cheeks were hot but she couldn’t tell if it was the wine or the attention he was paying her. “Can we get two glasses? That was excellent.”

  “Of course, sir.”

  Their dinner together was simply magical. She found herself enjoying the wine and the company more than she’d ever anticipated. Being with Ethan was just incredible and heady at the same time. One moment, he would be teasing her or holding her hand. The next, he would be telling her how lovely she was to him.

  Daisy asked him how his work was going and how physical therapy was. She saw him pull back slightly from the questions. This surprised her and also confirmed her suspicions that he was basing his success and happiness on this relationship with her. She promised herself right then that they were going to have to talk at some point- she just hoped she didn’t push him away completely when she did.

  After dinner, they walked around and saw the distillery. Rows of barrels were stacked along the wall and they listened as the nearby employee discussed how they harvested the grapes each year, making the wine for the restaurant. Accepting a piece of chocolate from someone standing near the exit to the back of the building, they walked out onto the stone verandah and sat down on a bench overlooking the pier. The temperatures were still cool in the evenings and the moon was rising over the lake.

  “This is incredible.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “Why are you doing all of this? You know I don’t need fancy things like this.”

  “I guess I’m a little insecure,” he admitted. “I want you to be happy with me. Truthfully, I know that my leg prevents me from doing things like any other guy and I’m afraid that you might find me lacking someday.”

  “I don’t think that could happen but since you brought it up- I do want to talk,” Daisy said gently, keeping her voice low so they could talk privately. Other couples were walking about nearby. She felt his arm around her shoulder tense in anticipation of a letdown.

  “Relax,” she encouraged softly, laying her hand on his where it rested on her shoulder. “This is something I’m going to ask for both of us. Something that has been bothering me and I thought at first it was me being dramatic or worrying too much.”

  “You want me to see another counselor,” he guessed. She was surprised to see that the idea didn’t bother him as much as she suspected. He’d mentioned it before but neither had brought it up again nor acted on it.

  “I think that would be best, so that way there is no division between us. I really like you a lot and I keep wondering or analyzing if we are making a mistake.”

  “Do you feel like this is a mistake?”

  “No,” she admitted. “I’m scared because it feels too good to be true.”

  “Daisy, I really like you too and want to see where this goes between us. If you need me to see another group to relieve your mind- I’d be happy to, but you have to do something in return too.”

  “What’s that?”

  “When you are with me- be Daisy- don’t be the counselor. I want you to be the woman who cares for me, not reading something into everything I say or do,” he said, and his eyes held hers. “As much as you are scared that something is wrong – I’m scared that I’m not good enough for you and that you’ll discover that someday. That terrifies me.”

  “Ethan,” she whispered the protest only moments before he kissed her tenderly. Daisy lay her hand on his chest and felt his heart beating under the fabric of his shirt, imagining that her own beat in rhythm. He seemed so very perfect for her and she felt like she was the one who wasn’t good enough for him. One step at a time, she thought sadly, burying her fears and secrets deep within.

  Chapter 12

  April 2016

  Tyler, Texas

  Ethan was breathless with excitement and felt his heart pounding in his ears as he watched Daisy walk out the front door of her home. He’d been nervous using only the new forearm crutches today instead of the bulkier ones, but he’d been practicing around the house and work moving about. Today was the wedding and he’d jumped at the chance to accompany her when she’d mentioned it. He knew it was insecurity that made him ask a few weeks ago but seeing her like this made him say a prayer of thanks that he’d met her.

  Daisy looked glorious.

  She may not have been the bride today, but she glowed in the bright, pale yellow dress that she wore. Her golden hair was twisted into some sort of knot on the back of her head and curls surrounded her lovely face. Her bright eyes sparkled with happiness, puttin
g a lump in his throat. He felt so plain and so humbled to be escorting her to see her friend get married.

  Daisy had told him it was going to be a large wedding. Lily, the bride, was a teacher at the local elementary school. Her groom was an officer, so most of the police force was going to be present as well. They had picked up a Hallmark card together when they went for coffee last week, as well as a gift card, for the new couple.

  He’d started attending a different group session and it was like their relationship had blossomed from there. He hadn’t realized what a strain it put on them both. He felt free to talk in group without fear of her judging him or feeling like she didn’t understand.

  His whole world had finally changed into something he could recognize in the past few weeks. He was falling in love with the woman sitting beside him in his truck. He was growing stronger every day now that he was attending physical therapy again and his leg was healed to the point that he tried walking on a pillowed prosthetic for the first time. It was strange to try to use it and not sure his balance would be alright. He would keep it a secret for now – but attempting to use it made him respect Daisy even more. She must have a will of iron to be patient enough to learn how to walk again with a double amputation.

  Driving to the event center and pulling into the parking lot, Ethan opened the glovebox of his truck. He removed a corsage inside and grinned at the surprised look on her face.

  “What’s that?”

  “A flower for my girl,” he said shrugging nonchalantly, even though he felt giddy as a boy going to his high school prom. She was beautiful in her dress. The simplicity of the style matched her – classic.

  “You are so good to me,” she whispered, staring at him. He knew that he could look at those bright green eyes forever and be a happy man.

  “it means a lot to me that you believe that,” he admitted. “Sometimes I wonder if the nightmares or scars will ever heal, but then I realize that they aren’t happening as often. When they do, I think of the things that make me happy.”