“You should have told me I was taking on one of your girlfriend’s little friends. No doubt you had a nice little chat before she started.” My voice is deceptively calm while my brain explodes. Now it all makes sense. He poisoned the well. What did he tell her? I’m an alcoholic? A man-whore? A ne’er-do-well with a former drug habit? Take your pick. There’s a little truth to all of it. But that’s not the impression I wanted to make.
“Chat? About what? You? I’ve said nothing.” He stutters and that’s all I need. Anything else out of his mouth is bullshit.
As much as I want to punch him, I’ll need to play along. “Of course. Bad for business. I wouldn’t dream of making anyone uncomfortable in the work environment.” I pick a piece of lint off my jacket, make a quick turn and head for the door. I know my brother. He can’t stand leaving things unsaid. He hates not having the last word.
As I reach for the doorknob, he gives into his mania. “Stay away from her, Jude. She’s not a notch on your bedpost. She’s Ava’s dear friend and I don’t want her upset before the wedding.”
I nod and grin. “I wouldn’t dream of it. If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to work.”
Faced with a look of curiosity and dread, I give him a sarcastic salute and slam the door.
Time to play rough.
Six
Bella
For two days, he’s worn me out with awful jokes, anecdotes and pointless questions that either vexed or puzzled me with their lameness. This is hardly what I expected from Jude McCormick. I was told I was dealing with a smooth operator, a swinging man-whore who would stun me with his brilliance, not bore me into catatonic submission. Sure, he’s made all these frustrating moves in a smoking hot body that sometimes makes me want to throw in the towel and beg to be his nasty girl. But so far, I’ve kept my cool.
All that changed today. For some reason, he’s lying low.
I know he’s here. I’ve heard his voice multiple times in the hallway, but he’s yet to initiate part two of my seduction. What’s taking him so long? By this time, Marcus St. James was one lewd comment, two smoldering gazes and a salacious lip-licking into his quest to bed Sophia. I’ve received none of the above.
How can I act offended and yet slightly titillated if he gives me nothing to work with? I hate to admit it, but maybe Ava’s right. It’s entirely possible I’m in way over my head.
I hate when she’s right!
With an hour left on my three-hour shift, I dive into my work. Despite my misgivings, this internship has its benefits. If Ava and I want to succeed at writing children’s books, I’ll need to be one kickass illustrator. I’m no good at conjuring cute, meaningful stories from thin air. That’s her department. But I know children’s books well enough to know it’s the illustrations that can set them apart. And I need to pull my weight. I don’t think I could handle the shame if a publisher requests she uses someone else.
Under Seth’s tutelage, I tear through another lesson and try to banish the awkward Romeo lurking in my anxiety-addled brain. I can’t let him seep into my heart before I’m certain this has a chance of launching.
Men like Jude think nothing of liaisons with naïve young girls. We could have a torrid affair that haunts me for years and yet he’ll shake me off in a matter of days. If I don’t maintain the upper hand, I’ll sink into him like quicksand.
With my nose to the grindstone, I push away visions of his full lips and shake away thoughts of his sinful smile. When memories of his steely blue eyes rattle me into a restless frenzy, I grab my cup, jump out of my seat and head for the lounge. I can’t let him get to me. He needs to make the first move and it needs to be overt.
These dumb flirtations don’t deserve a response. I’m not wasting my best pout, well-placed cleavage or a thoughtful ass wiggle on anything less than a shameful advance. If I’ve misread the signs, it will all blow up in my face.
While I steep my tea and dawdle back to my seat, my ears are suddenly accosted by the high-pitched sound of female laughter. I know the owner. Her cackle is unmistakable. Two days on the job and her acquaintance was thrust upon me like an unsuspecting sunburn after a glorious day at the beach.
Stacey Evans is the fly in my ointment and the biggest tramp on the floor.
I’m being judgmental for sure. I know nothing about her. No, I know two things. She’s the full-time intern and she’s got it bad for my man. Everyone knows about her crush. She does nothing to hide it but as far as I’ve seen he does nothing to encourage it.
When I hear her come close, I pivot in my heels, duck behind a row of cubicles and dart into my cubby. The less I see of her, the better.
“You’re so funny! You made that up, didn’t you?” She snorts as she speaks.
“No, I swear it’s true.” Jude’s sultry baritone replies, and a wave of jealous fury crashes over me. He’s flirting with Stacey! She’s laughing at his stupid jokes, feeding his ego and ruining my plans. Who the hell does she think she is?
And that two-timing rat!
“Are we still heading out for drinks after work?” She ensures her voice is loud enough for everyone to hear and I nearly crush the cup in my hands.
“Let’s play it by ear. I’ve got to catch up on some work but come see me before you leave for the day.” Every word out of his traitorous mouth stings worse than the one before. He doesn’t like me. He flirts with everyone. Ava was right. Jude is nothing like Declan and I can’t play games with the biggest player in town.
Defeated and dejected, I slowly rise from my chair to see if he’s left the area.
“Jesus Christ!” My eyes meet Jude’s and in one ghastly chaotic spasm, I shriek, drop my cup, lose my balance and tumble over my ergonomic chair.
“For crying out loud. Why are you so jumpy?” He races into my cubicle to help me up. I’m mortified. Humiliated. With every ounce of strength I can muster, I crawl to one side, shield the tits rapidly surfacing through my tea-soaked blouse and try to stand before he sneaks a peek at my days of the week panties.
“You frightened me. Why were you standing so close?” I try to wrestle out of his grip, but he insists on lifting me off the ground. This is a disaster. I have a sinking feeling he’s caught on to my charade and is now determined to beat me at my own game. Somewhere between Monday and Wednesday, he’s flipped this scenario from Billionaire Bad Boy to Bridget Jones and there’s no way to compete with a classic based on a classic.
“I wasn’t trying to...” He pauses and turns to glare at the rubberneckers peering over their cubbies. “Everyone back to work.”
“I wasn’t trying to frighten you. I need to speak to you. For Ava and Declan’s sake.” He moves aside and gestures for me to go first.
Fuck, he knows I’m Ava’s friend.
My plans are ruined! No wonder he’s moved on to hot legs Stacey. Whoever ratted me out designated me as a lovable side character. The best friend. The maid of honor.
Always a bridesmaid and never a bride.
Why did I think I could ever fill Sophia Rinaldi’s pumps?
Seven
Jude
I don’t know why I can’t let this go. She bugs me. Ever since she walked into my office, Bella Hamilton’s been the object of my growing obsession. We aren’t compatible. She’s too young and unlike my brother who has a thing for teenage girls, I typically stick with women much closer to my age. I may not like love and commitment, but I don’t enjoy hurting women either.
An older woman knows the game. She knows what to expect and she’s much better skilled at detecting all my red flags. A young girl like Bella might become attached. That could pose too many problems I’m not equipped to handle.
I don’t want that. I swear, I don’t. Then why do I want her?
“What did my brother tell you about me?” I hold her chair and slide her into the table. At 2:00pm, the bistro’s bar is nearly empty, and it feels like we have the place entirely to ourselves.
She tenses and clutches her purse in her lap. �
��He said nothing. Why are we here?”
I peel off my jacket and slump into my chair. Her wide brown eyes search the landscape, drifting from east to west, avoiding eye contact until I make it impossible.
“Bella? They call you Bella, right? Or do you prefer Isabella?” I wave my hand between us to bring her attention back to me.
She nods then frowns. “I prefer Bella.”
“What did Declan say? I know he said something. He always does.” I cock my head and lean in closer, admiring the wavy auburn locks that frame her face. The sprinkle of freckles across her nose give her pale complexion just the right amount of color. Despite her strange behavior, she’s a little adorable.
She shakes her head and takes a sip of water. “He didn’t say much. What was he supposed to say?”
“I don’t believe you.” My accusation is instinctual. I don’t mean to call her a liar, but I know my brother. And I’m confident enough to know there’s no way this girl found me repulsive. Call me a conceited jerk, but I own a mirror. Her disgust can’t be solely based on my appearance.
Her frightened expression immediately twists into a glowers of rage. “Are you calling me a liar? Did you bring me here to insult me?” She moves to stand but I reach for her hand.
“I apologize. Please, stay. I’m not calling you a liar. I’m simply implying that you’re not being 100% honest.” I’m terrible at backtracking.
Her eyebrows quirk. “You can do better than that.”
“What did Declan say?” I challenge her memory. I know she’s lying. I shouldn’t know this girl well enough to tell, but the more time I spend in her company, the more she reveals.
“Mr. McCormick.” She releases a breathy sigh laced with condescension.
“Jude.” I correct her.
“No, I’d rather we keep this on professional terms. Are you insinuating that my immunity to your flirtatious banter must be attributed to some pre-conceived notion placed in my head by your brother?” Her cool tone mocks me.
My mouth gapes open. That was a much better comeback than I expected.
She’s got a big mouth for a nineteen-year-old girl. I’ve dated women ten years older than her who could have used a fourth of her confidence and yet there’s something undeniably innocent about her. I haven’t had feelings for anyone her age since I was her age. Until now, the thought was laughable. But here I am. Trying to figure out why she hates me. Trying to figure out if my brother poisoned her against me.
Why does it matter? If she means nothing, why do I care?
With my eyes locked on hers, my dormant heart squeaks to life. I feel the beat thump harder and louder while my head spins me off balance. My vision blurs and refocuses on her full pink lips, the angle of her chin and the way her breasts heave with every breath she takes.
For three days, I’ve tried to impress her. I abandoned my typical moves because none of them seemed right. Not for her. I’ve never wanted anyone’s approval. I stopped trying when my parents continuously looked past me in favor of Declan.
But I want hers. Why her?
I hear a snap. “Hey, can I go now?” As she speaks, a lone red curl falls on her forehead and something inside me breaks. I like her. I don’t know why and I’m not sure what purpose this will ultimately serve, but I like her. She makes me want to break all my rules and for once I’d like to see where it takes me.
Maybe my heart works after all.
With a sudden sense of urgency, I raise my voice, nearly jump out of my seat and blurt out the one thing I can’t go one more minute without saying.
“Bella Hamilton, you’re full of shit.”
Eight
Bella
“Excuse me?” He’s caught me by surprise. As my brain struggles to form a reply, I fight the smile creeping forth on my lips. He’s right. I am full of shit. No heterosexual woman could cast her eyes on Jude McCormick and not walk away thoroughly and completely aroused. He’s perfection. Dirty, stinking, filthy perfection.
“You heard me.” His devilish smile makes me clench my thighs. “Why are you giving me such a hard time?”
I feign ignorance. “I’m not. I don’t know what you mean. You’re my boss. We don’t need to be on friendly terms. This is a temporary internship and...” My words trail off when his gaze jumps from curious to smoldering and he ever so casually licks his lips.
Good heavens, I’m back on track.
“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but you’re a beautiful girl. I like you and I think you like me too.” He smirks and takes a slow sip.
I swallow hard and burn this moment into my memory. He just called me beautiful. No boy has ever called me beautiful. “Thank you. That’s very...”
He chuckles and when his eyes fall back on me, I fear I may swoon. “It isn’t kind. It’s honest. We can be honest with each other, can’t we?”
I hesitate. I’m not ready for honesty. My game is my armor.
“I’m not sure what you mean. I have been honest.” I drown my lying mouth with a gulp of club soda and try to avoid his sinful stare.
“If you say so.” His blue eyes twinkle with mischief as he leans closer into the table. “Seth tells me you want to write children’s books. Is that true?”
This feels like a harmless question. I can be honest about my prospects. Chit chat is my specialty. “It is. Ava writes and I illustrate. We’ve been planning this out for years.”
He nods and his expression softens. “Then you’ve come to the right place.”
“Have I?” I’m confused. What does he know about children’s books?
He leans back in his chair and clasps his hands together. “I’m leaving McCormick Media as soon as Declan and Ava return from their honeymoon. I’m miserable there. I’ve been miserable for years. After Declan buys me out, I’d like to take some of that money and open a small independent publishing house. Nothing too swanky. Nothing too corporate. Just a place that stays true to its mission statement.” He smiles and for a second, appears to let his guard down.
“What’s the mission statement?” My interest is piqued.
“It’s not so much a mission statement as my philosophy on books.” He stutters nervously.
“Oh, come on. You wouldn’t have brought it up if you didn’t want to tell me.” I prod and through force of habit, reach for his hand. It’s accidental. I’d never be so bold, but he takes the cue and grabs it before I can pull it away. In an instant, his eyes jump to mine and the air sizzles when a million sparks ignite at once.
“My philosophy is there’s no greater companion than a good book. I want to work with authors who feel the same way. I may not offer all the bells and whistles of the big dogs, but I have connections. If their books are good and they trust me to help, I’d like to get their books into people’s hands.” Having unburdened himself, he shrugs with relief.
It’s not original, but there’s sincerity in his voice and humility in his expression. As I listen, I sigh and feel my heart flutter through every word. He’s not what I expected. And if he keeps it up, I might lose myself in his blue eyes forever.
“Growing up, books were my escape. My parents didn’t pay much attention to me. Any affection they could spare went to Declan. It’s weird. I thought parents doted on the baby. That wasn’t the case with me.” He offers a sheepish smile, uneasy with his confession.
This is rich. I didn’t expect we’d have anything in common First books and now parental neglect. “I’m the baby too, and no one coddled me. My parents hung on my older sister’s every word. I thought parents spoiled and ruined their babies? I swear, sometimes I think they had a third imaginary daughter and I was the invisible middle sister.”
He laughs so hard, he chokes on his whiskey. “I’m sorry. That’s terrible. But kind of funny. I guess we both had jerky parents. You said your sister just moved here? Do you get along?”
I shake my head and then nod. “She’s a sweetheart. She’s a good, decent, kind human being. People love her. Children swar
m to her for hugs. Animals can smell her pure heart and flock to her wherever she goes...”
“But?” He grins.
“But she drives me crazy. No one wants to be compared to that level of perfection. And then four years ago, she announced she was becoming a nun.” I stop for the expected response and he doesn’t fail me.
“Holy shit.”
“Yes, I know. She didn’t go through with it. That’s why she’s here. Weeks before she was due to take her vows, she reconsidered. She said she prayed about it and concluded God had a different plan for her. Our parents were so thrilled, they shipped her here, hoping life in the big city keeps her as far away from holy life as possible.” I take a sip and watch his eyes drift away. Something’s on his mind.
“What? It’s weird, right?” I wait for his reply.
“Not as weird as you think. My favorite uncle was a parish priest in Chicago for years before they sent him to Rome. Then one day four years ago, he gave it up. No explanation. He’d just turned forty and must have had a mid-life crisis. He still won’t talk about it. He traveled a few years, visiting family and friends, until Declan finally convinced him to move home. He just arrived on Monday.”
He clinks my glass. “Here’s to holy relatives.”
For the next hour we talk. He tells me more about his childhood and asks me about mine. We talk about travel and books. He knows his stuff. He knows what to say to make me hot. And he does. Every second he speaks, I find it harder and harder not to suggest he take me home for who knows what. Whatever that what turns out to be, I’ll bet money it’s sensational.
The more I learn about Jude McCormick, the more my resolve dies a tragic death. I assumed he was a biography lover, but it’s so much worse. He loves science fiction. He loves fantasy epics. That’s the boy's version of romance. This man is the holy grail. The smoking hot nerd.
Filthy Love Page 3