Maddie felt Julia firmly clutch at her forearm, keeping her deep inside and Maddie tried to go deeper still. Julia held onto Maddie’s arm and rolled toward her, slightly onto her side, the angle bringing her clit slamming against Maddie’s thumb with every wild buck of her hips. Julia moaned out and jerked in pleasure and Maddie was convinced that she had never seen or heard anything sexier in her entire life.
“Fuck…don’t stop.” Julia’s voice was low and rough, the raspy quality making Maddie shiver.
Maddie inhaled a deep breath, her senses heightening as Julia bucked against her hand in a hard and steady rhythm. She heard Julia’s breathy moans, smelled the intoxicating scent of Julia’s arousal, watched Julia move against her as her full breasts swayed in time, felt her fingers getting sucked inside this sensuous and beautiful creature.
“You’re so beautiful, querida, so sexy,” Maddie whispered near Julia’s ear.
Julia whimpered and Maddie increased the efforts of her strong and sure fingers. Maddie realized that Julia was starting to fall over the edge because the hold that Julia had on her forearm suddenly tightened. Maddie watched as Julia became absolutely still for a moment, her face caught in a mask of beautiful passion before she crashed into an orgasm of epic proportion. Julia’s hips jerked wildly, a shout torn from her throat as she convulsed beautifully in wave after wave for endless moments, her hand gripping Maddie’s forearm tightly.
Maddie gently sifted through Julia’s hair with her fingers, kissing her forehead and whispering to Julia as she recovered. “You feel so good…you smell so good…I love holding you…touching you.”
Maddie held onto Julia, her need to continuously run her hands and lips across the landscape of Julia’s body just another thing she did not want to dwell upon. The experience of being with this beautiful woman was as surprising as it was frightening. It was not something that she had done lightly and she did not regret it, but she suspected there would be consequences, both emotional and otherwise, for her actions. As confused as she was, Maddie knew that she wanted whatever this was to continue and that was the most frightening thing of all. Maddie could not stop touching her beautiful companion as she watched her sleep so she simply cuddled in beside her and let herself drift off as well.
Chapter 6
Julia had been overcome with sensation and emotion, the intense orgasm washing through her as Maddie touched her in places long dormant and, she had thought, no longer responsive. She allowed herself to remain in Maddie’s arms, letting Maddie hold her and caress her, the need for this young woman’s touch both compelling and mystifying. Julia had no point of reference for what she was feeling, the difference between being with Maddie and all others before her simply immeasurable. She had never before felt so satiated, so content in someone’s arms before and she wanted to savor it. She decided she would wait to contemplate her feelings and a course of action at a later time. She wanted nothing more than to enjoy the safe and tender feeling of Maddie holding her and she let the young woman lull her to sleep.
Julia woke much later with Maddie’s hand cupping her breast, a soft thumb strumming her nipple and she pulled Maddie closer, nuzzling into Maddie’s neck. Only half-awake, Julia was finding it hard to believe that she was lying naked with this beautiful creature, that she felt as comfortable and as sexy as she had ever felt.
Julia arched into the contact. “Maddie…I thought you were a beautiful dream,” she whispered.
“No, I’m real. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“What did you mean to do?” Julia asked.
“I just can’t stop touching you,” Maddie said.
“I don’t want you to stop.”
Julia found Maddie’s mouth with her own, kissing her deeply and their mutual desire flared to life as the kiss continued and intensified, hands roaming freely. Julia reluctantly pulled her mouth away and raised herself to her knees with the intention of moving over Maddie, but never got the chance as Maddie rose to her knees to meet her, pressing their fronts together deliciously. Julia circled Maddie’s shoulders, pulling her close and Maddie sucked on her neck as she clutched Julia’s ass. Julia slid her knee between Maddie’s and lowered her mouth to Maddie’s breast.
Julia was amazed at how quickly her desire had spiked, how her center had flooded with warm wetness, how badly she wanted Maddie to touch her and how badly she wanted to touch Maddie. Julia slid a hand between Maddie’s legs and loved the gasp her touch elicited. Maddie snaked an arm around her waist, binding them together, and brought her hand to Julia’s center. They both stilled and brought their foreheads together. Maddie slowly slid her fingers through Julia’s wet folds as Julia slid her fingers through Maddie’s.
Maddie licked her lips. “Go…inside…”
Julia gently rubbed her nose against Maddie’s. “You, too…slowly, baby.”
“Together,” Maddie whispered.
“Yes,” Julia agreed.
Maddie slid two fingers slowly into Julia, and the sensation was so incredible that Julia had to concentrate to be able to reciprocate, pushing inside Maddie. They both gasped, and then stilled, panting, their foreheads still pressed together. After a long moment, Julia slid out of Maddie slightly and Maddie followed her lead, doing the same. Julia waited a beat and then pushed back in and Maddie countered with her own thrust and then again until they found a mutual tempo, fucking each other slowly, steadily and deeply. Julia was not sure that she had ever felt anything quite like this sexually intimate dance of give and take.
Julia could smell the scent of her own arousal mixed with Maddie’s, could hear her gasping breaths matching Maddie’s own. Actions and sensations seem to mirror and it was as if she could feel what she was doing to Maddie every time Maddie slid into her. She kissed Maddie’s neck, wanting to have another sensation, another point of contact.
Julia tightened her hold on Maddie, pushing into her harder, trying to meet her thrust for thrust as they climbed together. As Maddie started to orgasm, Julia clutched her harder.
“Oh God…Jule…Oh God,” Maddie panted out in a sexy refrain.
Julia hung onto Maddie, absorbing each of the younger woman’s moans, each sharp jerk as she helped her ride it out until Julia suddenly felt her own orgasm start. It sounded and felt like an echo as Maddie moaned and bucked and Julia followed suit, over and over again until she exploded, clutching to Maddie, jerking and shuddering for endless moments. After the shudders finally slowed, they gently eased out of each other and slid to the bed together, their hands still holding onto each other, still caressing each other.
“Tu es tão bonita… tão bom…Eu acho que te amo…” Maddie whispered to her quietly.
“Is that Portuguese?” Julia asked, watching her in the dim light.
Maddie’s eyes widened. “You…? Uhmm…yes. I’m sorry.”
Julia saw the panic in Maddie’s eyes and suspected that Maddie had revealed too much. “For what…exactly?”
Maddie lowered her gaze. “For the ridiculously romantic things I just said.”
Julia smiled. “I like ridiculously romantic things. I recognize the language, but don’t understand that much so why don’t you just tell me in English?”
Maddie swallowed deeply before she looked at her. “I said that you’re so very beautiful…and make me feel so good.”
“You’re the beautiful one and you make me feel beyond good.”
Julia placed small kisses along Maddie’s face and neck and Maddie wrapped herself around Julia tightly. They cuddled together as though they had done the same thing every night for years, warm and comfortable as they drifted to back to sleep.
◆◆◆
Maddie woke early and watched Julia sleep for long moments, still a little shocked at herself, at her own behavior, at what had happened between them. Her emotions were in freefall, everything from joy to panic rocking her. She wanted to wake Julia and make love to her again as much as she wanted to quietly gather up her clothing, dress and sneak out of the hotel
room. She sighed and rubbed her forehead as she slipped from the bed, unable to think clearly with Julia so near.
Maddie went into the bathroom and saw herself in the mirror. She looked so different, almost sexy, that she almost didn’t recognize herself. She took a long shower, allowing the soothing hot water to calm her nerves a bit. She used the mouthwash she found, wrapped herself in a large luxurious towel and came back into the bedroom.
She smiled at the sight of Julia, a pillow gripped firmly under her head and she wandered over to watch the sleeping beauty, gazing at her for long moments. Julia was lying on her side, the sheet only partially covering her, allowing Maddie a view of her upper torso, dappled sunlight from the large window dancing across her skin and hair. Maddie looked her fill, trying to take in every detail to add to the memories of the night before. Maddie inhaled a deep breath and realized she was trembling.
“Are you okay?” Maddie was startled by the sexy, gravelly, sleep-filled voice coming from the bed.
Julia was blinking slowly and Maddie tried not to gasp at the intense blue color of her eyes, so much more brilliant in the morning light. “Yes…no…I’m not…how can you be so beautiful?”
Julia slid herself up onto her elbow, watching Maddie carefully. “I was just thinking the same thing about you.”
Maddie looked away and fidgeted with the towel. “I took a shower. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course it is. Can I get you some coffee…or order you some breakfast?”
Maddie shook her head, swallowing as she tried to gather the courage to do what she knew she needed to do. “No, thank you. I have to go, but I didn’t…I wasn’t sure. I never…I don’t do this so I’m not sure of the etiquette.”
“Well…since I don’t do this sort of thing either.” Julia’s gravelly voice was soft, but strained and she looked away from Maddie, the hurt feelings clearly evident on her face.
Maddie closed the small distance to the bed and sat near Julia. “I didn’t mean to imply…Julia, I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t want to wake you. I’m sorry if I’ve said or done anything to hurt you.”
Maddie averted her gaze from Julia because she knew that no matter what she said, she was going to hurt Julia.
Julia watched Maddie fidget with the towel wrapped around her. Julia did not want to think that Maddie was trying to sneak out without saying good-bye. She wouldn’t have taken a shower if that were her intention, would she? Julia did not know what to think, except that she wanted Maddie back in the bed with her. Julia did not want to lose the connection that she had made with this beautiful young woman.
“When can I see you again?” Julia whispered.
Maddie gently cupped the side of her face. “Thank you…for…everything that happened between us last night…for dinner…for treating me with kindness and respect…for making me laugh and making me feel beautiful and sexy…for making love to me like no one ever has…” Maddie’s voice faltered and broke.
Maddie’s words were heartfelt and beautiful, but they broke Julia’s heart as understanding and cold dread set in. “You’re saying good-bye to me, aren’t you?”
Julia watched Maddie avert her gaze. “I think I have to. My life right now…I don’t know if I can do this— “
Julia stopped Maddie’s words with a finger to her lips, not wanting to hear any more. “You don’t have to explain anything to me, sweetie. I didn’t expect this, any of it…meeting you…feeling like this.”
“I’m sorry,” Maddie whispered.
Julia lowered her head in defeat. “Please don’t say that…don’t be sorry.” Julia tried to stifle her soft sob.
She felt Maddie reach for her, pull her close, the embrace feeling desperate. Julia turned her head and pressed her mouth to Maddie’s roughly and Maddie responded immediately, opening her mouth and plunging her tongue against Julia’s.
The kiss was wild and desperate as they clutched at each other, hands gripping heads and shoulders and waists, tongues dancing and plunging, their breathing deep and ragged until someone moaned. Julia felt the kiss gradually slow, their hands easing to caress instead of clutch, their tongues soothing instead of arousing. When Julia reached up to cup her face, she felt Maddie’s tears and her own tears started. They kissed tenderly, crying, until Maddie pulled away, sliding off the bed as she clutched the bath towel to herself. She slowly gathered up her scattered clothing and walked silently into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her.
Julia tried to pull herself together, wrapping herself in a sheet and wiping her eyes with the edge of it. When Maddie came out of the bathroom she handed her a business card, careful not to touch her and she saw that Maddie was trying very hard not to cry.
Julia cleared her throat. “This is my business card. I wrote my personal cell number on the back. I would very much like to see you again, but I won’t hold it against you. I also want you to know that this meant something…you, Maddie…mean something to me. So even if you can’t do…this again…it wasn’t just about the sex. I still would like to see you…talk to you…we don’t have to do…this.”
Julia watched as Maddie tried to smile, a few stray tears slipping over her lower lashes. “I’m not sure I could ever be near you again, Julia, and not want you with everything that I am.”
Julia nodded, knowing that she felt the same way. “I…okay but please…if you ever need me…if you just want to talk…no strings…if you ever need anything…call me day or night.”
Maddie’s eyes were wide and wet and she nodded as she took the card from Julia, clutching it in her hand as she picked up her purse and slowly walked to the door. Julia wanted to scream, to block her escape, anything to keep Maddie here with her, but she simply stepped forward.
“Maddie, sweetie, please, at least text me…to let me know…that you’re okay.”
Maddie didn’t respond, she simply clutched her purse as she opened the door and walked out of Julia’s hotel room, out of her life. The door clicked shut behind her and Julia clutched her chest as she slowly sank to the floor, the pain there greater than when they had cut her open to remove part of her breast. It felt as though she might never recover from it.
Chapter 7
Julia tried to keep her business persona firmly in place as the casual Friday morning staff meeting was winding down, several of her real estate agents talking amongst themselves as they slowly walked out of the conference room of the small storefront office that she kept in the center of town. Her daughter, Vivienne, was one of the agents and she stopped at the door, glancing in her direction. Julia politely asked her to shut the door to the conference room, waving her phone as if she needed to make a call. Julia had no call to make, but simply wanted to be alone. The door clicked quietly behind her and she inhaled deeply and willed herself not to cry as she looked out the large windows of the conference room that overlooked the harbor.
Julia thought she would feel better by now. She had been completely lost since Maddie had left her in her hotel room nearly three weeks before. She knew that people had noticed she was not quite herself, and Vivienne most certainly had, asking about her mother’s mood more than once or twice. She had been trying to act as though nothing was wrong, but she knew it wasn’t working.
Julia inhaled deeply again as she watched the moored boats bobbing gently in the harbor. As she had done too many times, Julia allowed her thoughts to stray to Maddie and the time they had spent together. She pictured Maddie’s dimpled smile, her warm brown eyes, her soft laugh and the way she looked and sounded when Julia brought her to an orgasm. Julia’s insides seized as the memories washed over her, the joy, the eroticism, and the anguish as Maddie walked away from her in the morning.
Julia had not heard a word from Maddie in the nearly three weeks that had passed since then and she wasn’t really surprised. Julia was a great believer in keeping her expectations within reason so she would not be constantly disappointed, but it hadn’t worked this time and disappointment was only one of the em
otions she was currently dealing with. A combination of shame and regret settled in her gut every time she recalled pleading for Maddie to let her know that she was okay. Julia automatically glanced down at her phone to check for a message from Maddie and finding none for the thousandth time, brushed away the millionth stray tear from her face and sighed.
Julia had spoken to no one of her encounter with Maddie in Boston, but she had thought about her almost constantly since then and it still hurt. It hurt more than she could bear some days and it made Julia angry, at herself, at the universe, and at Maddie. She was angry because she had been perfectly content with her life before she had met Maddie and now she was anything but content. There were moments when the entire encounter seemed like a dream to her, a happy and erotic dream. She decided she needed some perspective or simply someone to talk to about all of this.
Julia quickly scrolled through the list of contacts on her phone and stopped on a name she had not called in a few months. Deborah Stone. Julia smiled. Why hadn’t she thought of talking to Deb until now? Maybe because of that nagging shame and regret when she remembered pleading at Maddie to, at the very least, let her know she was okay.
Julia had met Deborah in a cancer support group when she had been going through treatment. Deb was brash, black, and gay and it became quickly apparent that she and Julia didn’t fit in with the rest of the group. They agreed to become each other’s support instead, continuing to meet and talk regularly, just the two of them, and they had become close friends.
That evening, Julia walked into the small but lively bistro that Deb had suggested, jazz playing softly in the background, the eclectic crowd enjoying quiet conversation. She found Deb waiting for her at a small table with a shot of what Julia assumed was tequila and a beer in front of her, and a martini waiting for Julia at the spot across from her. They embraced warmly and as soon as Julia sat down Deb leaned forward and reached for Julia’s hand.
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