While Maddie watched, Julia brought her wet fingers up and inhaled Maddie’s scent from them before she placed the tips of them into her mouth, closing her eyes as she sucked them, shuddering at the first taste of her. Julia groaned around the fingers, the taste of Maddie sweet, tangy, and incredible. She found Maddie’s gaze locked on hers when she opened her eyes and slowly pulled her fingers from her mouth.
“Can I have you?” Julia’s voice was a rough and raspy whisper.
“You can have anything you want,” Maddie said.
Julia slid down between Maddie’s legs, lowered her head and ran her tongue through the wet warm folds. Maddie’s moan reverberated through the air as Julia explored, the first touches of her tongue tentative as she licked up and around her clit and back down. Julia was amazed at the appealing taste of Maddie and the utter and exquisite softness of her folds against her tongue. She felt Maddie’s hand pressing at the back of her head and she smiled. She had apparently found the pressure and the tempo that Maddie needed and she focused on bringing her pleasure.
Julia moved her hands to the juncture of Maddie’s inner thighs to hold down her jolting hips as she feasted. She more than enjoyed her ability to make Maddie moan and squirm and beg and she fed on the hard and fleshy clit and the warm wetness that poured from her. Maddie arched sharply and Julia found herself moaning against Maddie’s folds as she realized how much she was enjoying this, especially Maddie’s response. Much too soon, Maddie’s moans changed their pitch and her hips changed their cadence and Julia followed suit, increasing her efforts.
Julia felt the increase in the intensity of her movements and she heard Maddie muffle a small shout into her own fist as her hips bucked wildly, as wave after wave of sensation shook her. Julia held onto Maddie as she orgasmed, beautifully and openly, shuddering against Julia’s loving mouth.
“God, Julia,” Maddie whispered as she finally opened her eyes long moments later.
“I think I enjoyed that almost as much as you did,” Julia said, smiling.
Maddie returned the smile. “Not possible.” Maddie inhaled deeply. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before? Any of this?” Maddie asked.
Julia blinked in surprise. “I’m fairly certain I would have remembered. Why?”
“Everything you do…the way you touch me…the way you…just now…with your mouth…”
“It was okay?”
Maddie widened her eyes. “Okay? It was earth-shattering.”
Julia smiled. “Maddie, I’ve never wanted to touch anyone the way I want to touch you.”
Julia kissed her, moving over her and sliding their warm bodies together. Maddie pulled her closer and deepened the contact, the unmistakable scent of Maddie’s arousal in the kiss. Julia moaned into the kiss, their tongues sliding firmly and wetly before it intensified, their mouths opening wider in an attempt to become as close as possible. The kiss slowed gradually and they pulled away, watching each other closely for long moments. Julia shuddered at the glorious intimacy of it.
Julia smiled. “I wish I had the words to express to you what I’m feeling right now, just looking at you. You are so beautiful and you make me feel so damn good.”
Maddie hesitated. “Do you really want me more…than…?”
“More than I wanted my ex-husband? Yes. I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true.” Julia inhaled deeply as she caressed Maddie’s face. “This intensity was never there when I was with him. I loved him and it was good, but it wasn’t this.” Maddie swallowed deeply. “Too much too soon?” Julia knew her insecurities were showing.
Maddie shook her head. “No. I appreciate your honesty.”
“So be honest with me. This scares you, doesn’t it?”
“Of course. It’s a lot to take in. And you?”
Julia smiled and nodded. “Yeah, sure, but I couldn’t stop it even if I wanted to and I don’t want to.”
“I feel the same way.” Maddie suddenly widened her eyes. “Oh my goodness, I am a terrible hostess. I haven’t even offered you a glass of water.”
Julia smiled. “You offered something much better.”
“I’m glad you think so, but querida, you must be starving? Let me make you something to eat.” Maddie slid from the bed and strolled into the closet, emerging a moment later in track pants and a long sleeved t-shirt.
Julia watched her with a small smile, simply enjoying the sight of Maddie moving. “Do you have something I can throw on?”
Maddie pulled an oversized white men’s shirt from the bedpost and handed it to Julia before she pulled a pair of yoga pants from a drawer, tossing those to her. Julia turned the shirt over in her hands as she slid to the edge of the bed. “Can I ask whose shirt this is?”
Maddie laughed lightly. “It’s mine, thank you very much. That shirt is my favorite thing to wear when I’m home alone. Would you like me to find you something else?”
Julia slipped the shirt on, the scent of Maddie on it unmistakable. “Absolutely not. Thank you.”
Julia sat at the small island in Maddie’s kitchen while Maddie quickly prepared a plate of fruit and cheese and poured her a glass of white wine. Julia smiled. “Thank you. This is lovely.”
“Now, what would you like for dinner? I can do Shrimp Mozambique or Thai Coconut Curry Chicken…”
Julia smiled and pointed at the plate. “Isn’t this dinner?”
Maddie shook her head. “No, that’s just to stimulate your appetite.”
“You’ve managed to stimulate everything else,” Julia whispered.
“Funny.”
“Not trying to be. Can I see the take-out menu?”
Maddie stiffened and then smiled. “There is no take-out menu. Those were the things I could whip up for you quickly. I just didn’t know what you were in the mood for. I could make you an omelet if you wanted something lighter.”
I took another moment for Julia finally understood that Maddie was offering to cook a meal. Just for her. She inhaled a breath. “You’re going to cook for me?”
“Yes.”
“And I just insulted you by asking for a menu, didn’t I?”
Maddie smiled as she walked over to Julia, leaning on the island beside her and reaching out to caress her face. “No, you didn’t insult me, you just surprised me. I have the ingredients for the Thai dish or the shrimp dish if you’re interested.”
“I am, I just can’t remember the last time someone made dinner for me…if ever.”
“Well, I’m going to make dinner for you.”
“I would really love that.”
“Do you like Thai?”
“I love it, thank you. Can I help?”
“Maybe next time. Relax, finish your wine.” Maddie kissed Julia lightly on the lips. “Make yourself at home. You can put your things in my room, if you’d like.”
Julia smiled. “I would like, thanks.”
Chapter 13
Maddie plated two servings of dinner and refilled Julia’s wine glass. Julia moved behind Maddie and wrapped her arms around her, kissing the side of her face. Maddie leaned back into Julia, thinking how good it felt to be simply held by this woman.
Julia whispered. “Dinner smells amazing. Thank you so much.”
“It’s a simple meal and it’s my pleasure.”
They sat close together and Julia moaned at the first bite. “This is incredible.”
“Not too spicy?” Maddie asked.
“No, just spicy enough, like you.”
Maddie smiled. “Was that a line, Jule?”
“No, not at all. You seem to be everything I ever wanted in a…partner,” Julia said, her gaze steady.
Maddie inhaled sharply. “Wow, you really know how to charm a girl, don’t you?”
Maddie’s cell vibrated on the coffee table in the living room for the second time since they had come out of the bedroom and she glanced over at it.
Julia looked at her. “I won’t be offended if you answer your phone.”
Maddie smil
ed. “Thanks, excuse me.”
Maddie had not answered because she knew it was her mother. She walked away to speak to her, keeping her responses short until her mother mentioned stopping by.
“It’s not a good time right now. No, I have company.”
Maddie ended the call and sighed.
“Everything okay?” Julia asked.
Maddie shrugged. “Just my mother…being nosy…and intrusive. She thinks she has a right to know what’s going on in my life.”
“She doesn’t know…about me?” Julia asked quietly, sighing.
“She knows I’m seeing someone, but I didn’t tell her it was a woman.” Maddie could not meet her gaze. “Baby steps.”
The loud knocking at the door startled them both.
“Layna…Layna!” The loud voice on the other side of the door caused Julia to sit up straight while Maddie groaned and lowered her head.
“Who is that?” Julia whispered.
Maddie was horrified because she knew that her mother had a key that she would not hesitate to use. “Shit. I’m so sorry, Julia. It’s my mother and she has a key.”
“She wouldn’t let herself in?” Julia asked.
Maddie nodded, feeling sick. “Oh yes, she would.”
“Bit of a control freak is she?” Julia asked as she poured herself some more wine. She smiled at Maddie as she buttoned the next two buttons on the shirt she had borrowed from her. “I guess I’m going to meet your mother.”
Maddie slowly walked to the door, complete and utter dread at what might happen next. Even with their recent discussion, she knew her mother would not be afraid to push her weight around. Maddie inhaled deeply as she opened the door as her mother walked in, speaking loudly in her usual combination of English and Portuguese. Her mother and the ranting both immediately stopped as she noticed Julia sitting at the kitchen island.
Julia smiled brilliantly. “Hello, I’m Julia Sinclair. You must be Madalena’s Mom.”
Maddie watched, mesmerized, as Julia turned into a charmingly exaggerated version of herself as her mother was caught completely off-balance by it. Maddie watched her mother’s confusion as she tried to determine Julia’s sincerity and who she might be. Her mother stared for a brief moment and then smiled politely.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know Layna had company,” her mother said, her pleasant tone and lilting accent belying the glare of suspicion that Maddie could plainly see on her face.
“I just told you I had company,” Maddie said as she stepped forward, feeling as though she was caught in some weird experimental theater as her lover and her mother stared each other down, each of them smiling falsely.
“I thought you were just saying that,” her mother said and Julia’s eyebrows rose at the excuse.
Maddie realized that her mother had not bothered to introduce herself. “Julia, this is my mother, Celeste Francisco.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Celeste.” Julia looked at Maddie. “You didn’t mention your mother would be stopping by, Maddie. I wouldn’t have changed into something so casual.”
Maddie’s eyebrows shot up slightly in surprise at Julia’s falsely polite, but pointed tone of voice. She tried not to smile. “I wasn’t expecting her, Julia, I’m so sorry.”
Maddie’s apology seemed to make her mother angry, her glare jumping from Maddie to Julia. “I’m her mother and I can stop by whenever I want.”
Maddie caught the gasp that threatened to escape her throat. Maddie could plainly see the challenge on her mother’s face and she felt stuck between a rock and a hard place, knowing that she could not take sides here and wanting this to end as quickly as possible.
“But you shouldn’t, Ma. Julia’s a client at my agency and we’re behind schedule with a project, so we decided to have a working dinner. I’m working.” The convenient lie came too easily and Maddie internally cringed at her own cowardice.
Maddie saw Julia’s surprise which she hid by taking a generous swig from her wine glass. Her mother’s shrewd gaze indicated that she did not believe the lie, but Maddie shrugged, indicating to her mother clearly that she would say no more.
Her mother pressed her lips together in an expression all too familiar to Maddie. She was angry, but would not dare challenge her and jeopardize Maddie’s job. “Well, I can stop by another time.” Her suspicious glare jumped from Julia to her daughter, but Julia kept smiling at her and she had no choice but to retreat. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” she said to Maddie.
Maddie smiled at her. “Tell Dad I said hi.”
She held the door open for her mother and ignored her pointed glare as she shut it quickly behind her before she turned to look at Julia. She was embarrassed that she had lied about who Julia was and what she meant to her.
“Your mother is charming,” Julia said and Maddie could not mistake the sarcasm.
“I’m sorry.” Maddie sighed. “I told you she was…difficult.”
“I can see that. She’s also a bit of a control freak. I understand that she’s your mother, but you shouldn’t allow her to treat you the way that she does.”
“Well, that’s very easy for you to say, but you don’t know what my parents have done for me, and I can’t just blurt out something like this to her. I’ve already told Gabe and Maria, but I need to work up to telling my mother.”
Maddie breathed deeply as she thought about how her mother would react to her being with Julia. Maddie knew that her mother would never simply allow her to have this relationship. Maddie knew that if her mother discovered this, she would make Maddie’s life an absolute hell. Maddie knew that her mother would threaten and rage, would involve her brother Enzo and sister-in-law, Maria, and possibly even Gabriel. She had done it before for things that seemed petty and insignificant in comparison.
Maddie swallowed down her fear and shook her head as she realized that Julia was right. Her mother was a control freak, but she was still her mother.
Julia sighed. “And in the meantime? Are we supposed to continue to pretend that I’m a client? For how long?”
“I don’t know, Julia. I’m sorry but I need to do this my way. I know my mother can be difficult, I know that better than anyone.” Maddie inhaled deeply. “But I also know what she’s done for me. When she found out I was pregnant she flipped out, I won’t deny that, but she was also by my side for every doctor’s appointment and for the 15 hours I was in labor and scared out of my mind.” Maddie started to slowly pace as she continued. “For the first 7 years of Gabe’s life, she was there for both of us every day, taking care of him or picking him up from school, so that I could finish high school and then keep going to get my Associate’s degree. And she was working a full-time job the entire time. When I finally moved out on my own, she gave me some of her furniture and dishes and she sewed curtains for my windows. She’s difficult and she expects a lot but she gives a lot, too. I don’t expect you to understand how hard this is for me.”
Maddie did not want to lose her family but did not want to sacrifice what she had with Julia to keep them either. She felt sick and hollow and could not meet Julia’s intense and knowing gaze because she knew her denial had hurt Julia and she also knew that right now, she could see no way out of this corner she found herself in.
Julia could see the struggle of emotion on Maddie’s face and she could only imagine what she was going through. Julia could also easily imagine a series of clandestine weekend meetings and rushed trysts squeezed in between Maddie’s real life while Julia remained a secret to Maddie’s family and friends. Julia saw herself becoming the one thing she had promised herself she would never become.
“I do understand,” Julia whispered. “I can’t imagine how hard this is and I allowed you to deny our relationship to your mother, but I will not be your dirty little secret.” Julia licked her suddenly dry lips. “And I need to know where this is going. Or is this what it’s going to be?”
“What do you mean?” Maddie asked.
“Is this what we’re going to b
e, Maddie? We’ll sneak around to meet up for sex?”
Maddie looked shocked as she shook her head. “No. No. I’m sorry. I never want to make you feel the way I apparently keep making you feel. I want to be with you, Julia, I do…and…I want this…with you. Please don’t doubt that.”
“Honestly, Maddie, how can I not doubt it? I don’t know what to think. This is crazy. How can you live like this? Your mother is not stupid. It’s clear, to anyone who wants to see, what’s going on here.”
“She won’t take the chance that you actually are a client and I’m not sure that she really wants to know what’s going on here.”
“Well, that’s very sad. Will she come back?”
Maddie shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think so? How can you live like this?” Julia tried to control the level of anger in her voice. “Can’t you just change your locks?”
“I could but then she’d ask Gabe for his key and that’s not fair to him and she would make my life hell in the meantime.”
“She’s already making your life hell. Can’t you see that?”
Maddie nodded, rubbing her forehead. “I know. You’re right, but it’s easier to just go along to get along.”
“That is ridiculous and your mother is completely unreasonable.” Julia sighed. After Maddie’s denial of her to her mother, Julia knew she had no choice but to put all of this on hold. The realization made her feel as though she was going to vomit. “Listen, I’m not going to sneak around and pretend to be your colleague or any other ridiculous thing. I will introduce you to anyone and everyone in my life as my girlfriend, my lover, my…anything you want, but I will not lie and I will not sneak around. It goes against every fiber of my being. Honestly, I can’t even imagine it. I will not come between you and your family, but I will not let you into my life, into my daughters’ lives until you’re sure you can do this.”
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