Surrendering to Us

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  “I know you did. Hey, how about you take the rest of the day off and get in some golf? You haven’t been in ages. We can deal with everything here. The company’s not going to blow up if you leave. I don’t think,” I said with a wink.

  “So apparently, Lilia is some sort of html genius,” I said as Lucah and I lay on the couch after eating dinner. We’d made love so vigorously last night, and it had been a long day for both of us that I wasn’t sure if it was going to happen tonight. Besides, I was thinking of inviting Sloane over to watch movies with us anyway.

  “Imagine that. A girl who is good at computers.” He said it with sarcasm, so I knew he wasn’t serious. I also knew that Lucah had no problem with smart, independent women.

  “I know, right? So do you mind if I ask Sloane over? I haven’t talked to her since last night.” She’d sent me a couple of terse texts, but it wasn’t good enough. We needed to make up face to face. Even if I hadn’t done anything wrong.

  “Sure, I don’t mind. As long as I get you later. And as long as I get to pick one of the movies.”

  “Uh, I don’t think so. That’s not how this works. There are two of us and one of you. So we win. Sorry about that.” He just shook his head, because he knew it was true. In addition to getting me when he moved in, he also got my extensive DVD collection that Sloane had added to over the years. It included just about every movie that you could possibly need to watch during PMS, after a breakup, or to cheer you up if you’d had a crappy day. It just so happened that a lot of those movies were, um, romantic comedies and chick flicks. They weren’t all like that, but a lot of them were. Lucah didn’t have a lot of movies, because he watched most everything on his laptop and DVDs were a pain to travel with.

  I still hadn’t heard the extent of his adventures around the US, but I was giving him time, and I didn’t want to guilt him into telling me. I wanted him to want to tell me.

  “Just as long as it’s not Hugh Grant. I can’t stand that guy. I don’t know what it is about him, but I just want to knock his teeth in.” Sloane and I had done a Hugh Grant marathon once when Lucah was home and he’d whined and complained the entire time. You would have thought we were putting him through a rare form of torture.

  “Fine. No Hugh Grant. But anything else is fair game.” I could make this really terrible for him if I wanted to. But then he might withhold oral from me as punishment, and I definitely didn’t want that.

  I dashed down the hall to knock at my former apartment. I heard her walk to the door and peer at me through the peephole.

  “Movie night? Your theme choice. Only no Hugh Grant. Lucah vetoed.” I heard her sigh on the other side of the door, but the lock clicked and the door opened.

  “Fine. I guess. Do you have popcorn?” I shook my head, and she let me in. “Must I do EVERYTHING for you?” Man, she was grumpy. She went to the cupboard and got out the bottle of popcorn kernels. She was adamantly anti-microwave popcorn. Plus, she didn’t just put butter on it. Oh no, she made popcorn into an orgasmic taste experience. That was another reason I’d come over. And to make up. There was definitely that too.

  “Are you okay?” I knew she wasn’t PMS-ing because we were on the same cycle and had just finished.

  “Not really. I’m just really stressed. Finding people to believe in the new lingerie line has proved more difficult than I thought.” Sloane was used to talking and getting her way, and she always got in a terrible mood when she didn’t get what she wanted. Sometimes, like with Ryder, it got out of hand, but sometimes, like with her business, I felt for her.

  “Aw, I’m sorry. How can people not want to invest in it? Did you tell them about our success rate?” I had gotten laid every single time I’d worn one of her outfits and so had our friend, Marisol.

  “It’s just a really crowded market. That bitch Victoria and her damn Secret are hard to compete with.”

  “That whore.”

  “Yeah, screw her.” She got out the popcorn popper and started banging around and assembling other ingredients. From what I could tell, she was going with savory tonight, given the spices she was shaking together into a measuring cup. She also got some butter going on the stove and I waited for her to start talking. It was only a matter of time.

  “I just thought that this would be easy. I mean, it seemed like such a good idea and I was so sure of it. But now it’s like I’m failing.” She sniffed, her back to me as she stood at the stove so the butter didn’t burn.

  I walked over and put my hands on her shoulders.

  “You’re not a failure, Sloane. You have never failed at anything you’ve ever done. Everything you ever wanted, you’ve gotten.”

  “Except love,” she said in a small voice. Crap, I’d forgotten about that. But it didn’t undo my previous statement. She had gotten everything she’d ever wanted, career-wise.

  “You’ll find it. I promise.” She sniffed again and wiped her eyes.

  “Why the fuck am I so emotional? If I didn’t know that there was ZERO chance that I was pregnant, I’d be taking a test. This is all your fault, by the way.” She turned and I almost stumbled into the counter.

  “I mean, I’m so happy for you, but it’s hard. I miss it just being the two of us. You know I don’t like to share.” No, she didn’t. Except her food. And her clothing designs. Not much else.

  “I’m sorry.” Now I really felt like a shitty friend.

  She sighed and gave me a hug.

  “It’s not your fault. I’m just now realizing what it must have been like for you when I was with someone. But I was never as happy as you are. You bitch. Your life is a fucking love song.” Sometimes it felt that way. And then sometimes Lucah would drag me out of bed and throw me in the shower and yell at me to get ready or I’d be late for work.

  “I like him. I really, really do. Shit.” The butter started burning and she had to rush to the stove so it didn’t ignite.

  “Wow, Sloane Harris burns something. That has to be a first.”

  “Shut up,” she said, but she was smiling. I gave her another hug and helped her dump out the disgusting butter and then air out the apartment as she popped two giant bowls’ worth of popcorn, covered it in fresh butter, and then with herbs and spices. We each grabbed a bowl and went back down the hall.

  “My God, I thought you’d been kidnapped. I was about to go and make sure you hadn’t been.” Lucah’s eyes flicked from me to Sloane to make sure we were okay.

  “You can stop being weird, Lover boy, we’re okay. I’m not mad at you, I’m not mad at her, so we can all go back to normal and you can continue to appreciate everything I do for you, okay?” She handed him a popcorn bowl and flopped down on our couch.

  Lucah and I had picked out a lot of the furniture together, since Sloane had chosen most of the furniture at our other place, and wanted to keep it. There was definitely a lot more red in my new place. Lucah had always wanted the red ones. I’d give him a look and he would play complete innocence.

  “So, what’s the theme verdict?” Lucah said, sitting down on the other end of the couch so I could sit in the middle. Like they were trying to share me. Joint custody.

  “I’m thinking costume porn. Ball gowns and massive hair and jewels and guys with tight trousers.” I waited for Lucah’s reaction.

  “So that means period pieces. I can deal with that.” He smiled at me. We watched older movies a lot when we were alone, so I knew he was more than fine with it.

  Sloane hopped up and went to get the movies and put the first one in. It was the Pride and Prejudice with Kiera Knightly and Matthew Macfadyen. Definite costume porn.

  “I like the one with Colin Firth better,” Lucah whispered in my ear.

  “No talking. You’re ruining my costume buzz.” Sloane glared at both of us, so we stuffed our mouths with popcorn.

  We got a little rowdy as the movie night went on. Mostly due to the two bottles of wine we opened after we started watching the second movie, Marie Antoinette (with Kirsten Dunst) and also th
e drinking game we created. We drank every time a man was wearing pants so tight you could see his penis, whenever a woman’s boobs were stuffed into her dress so tight that they formed a shelf, and there were other rules that I didn’t remember in the morning. Sloane was so gone that she didn’t even make it back to her place and sacked out on the couch. That wasn’t the first time, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

  “So we have those interviews today,” I said to Lucah the next morning as he rinsed the shampoo from my hair. We’d decided to conserve water and shower together, even though my shower wasn’t as big as his had been and we were both a wee bit hung over and sluggish. It was a delicate dance of switching places without falling, or tripping over the other’s feet.

  “Any good candidates?”

  “A few, but I’m sure the ones I like won’t get chosen.”

  “Maybe you’ll be surprised and the person you don’t want to hire will turn out fantastic.”

  “You wouldn’t be speaking of my last assistant, would you?”

  “Maybe. Maybe I’m talking about something completely different. My turn.” I faced him and squeezed some shampoo in my hand. He’d started using my shampoo because he said it gave his hair good volume, but I knew it was because it smelled like me. I scrubbed my fingers through his hair, being careful not to get any in his eyes.

  “There are actually a few women who made the cut and one who’s our age, which could be kind of fun.”

  “Oh really? I’d be shocked if they picked her, unless she’s super hot.” I made a disgusted sound.

  “You men. Always thinking with your dicks.”

  “Why do you think they call men who are jerks, dicks? For that very reason.” I’d never thought of it that way.

  “You’re smart sometimes.”

  “You’re smart and sexy all the time.” I used the shampoo to turn his hair into a mohawk before I made him tilt his head back so I could rinse his hair out.

  When we finally made it out the door, we grabbed a cab and stopped at a bakery near work. I didn’t know what Lilia might like, so I did the same thing Lucah had done on our first day. Got her one of everything.

  “You’re sweet,” Lucah said when he realized what I was doing.

  “No, I’m really not. I am a cold and calculating businesswoman. Don’t you think anything otherwise,” I said, pointing my finger at him and giving him my best glare.

  He held up his hands in surrender.

  “Okay, okay. You win, Miss Clarke.”

  “Don’t you forget it.”

  “Never, ever.”

  Lilia acted as if I’d given her the world, or at least a very expensive and rare purse when I handed over the bag of breakfast goodies.

  “Just take what you want and leave the rest in the break room. I’m sure they’ll get eaten in no time.” It was a universal truth that pastries left in the break room would not survive for long.

  I waited to see what she would pick as she dug through the bag.

  When she dug out the strawberry frosted donut, it was like kismet.

  “Good choice,” I said and she handed me my messages.

  “Oh, and your mother called, about five minutes ago. She said she tried your cell, but it went to voicemail.” What? I pulled out my phone only to find that my battery was completely dead. I’d forgotten to charge it last night. I really needed to stop drinking so much wine on weeknights.

  “Okay, thanks Lilia.” I took the messages and went to my office, closing the door. My mother calling me in the morning could be a catastrophe, or it could just be her STILL trying to set me up with Fin Herald. I happened to know, from Marisol, that he was currently in Japan, so it probably wouldn’t be that.

  I dialed out and she picked up after the second ring.

  “Hi Mom, everything okay?” I kept my voice light, but my heart was pounding and my hands shook a tiny bit.

  “Oh, Rory. I’m glad you called. You really ought to remember to charge your phone.” Yes, yes, get to the point.

  “I know, Mom. I’m sorry.” I waited and she sighed.

  “I’m worried about your father. He’s spending too much time at work, and it’s not healthy. I’ve talked to him over and over about it, but he won’t listen to me. Have you talked to him?”

  “Of course I have, but he won’t listen to me either. Yesterday I tried to tell him to take the rest of the day off and play golf, but I know he didn’t.”

  Mom sighed again. I couldn’t blame her. There really was nothing else to do.

  “Well, I made an appointment for him to go see Dr. Hale, and he’s going whether he likes it or not. I’m sure his blood pressure is through the roof.” And then my mother did something she didn’t do very often. She burst into tears.

  My mother was a composed woman. The only times I’d ever really seen her lose it was when I was young and would eavesdrop when I was supposed to be in my room.

  “I’m sorry, Rory, I just don’t know what to do. I’m scared I’m going to lose him.” Dad wasn’t old, but he wasn’t young either, and he’d had problems with blood pressure before. His job was high stress, but he’d always managed it. But he’d never had anything happen like this.

  “It’s going to be okay, Mom. Do you need me to come over?” I had no idea how to console my crying mother. This had never happened before. It made me feel like a scared child again, with no control.

  “No, no. Don’t be silly. I’m just having a little emotional moment. It will pass. But if you could talk to him again, or maybe talk to the Board? See if Hal, or someone could do something.” That wouldn’t do any good, and would probably just make Dad look like he couldn’t handle running his company. The last thing he needed right now was to look weak. We had to keep this on the down-low as much as possible.

  “I’ll talk to him again, okay? And why don’t you go have a spa day today. You know that always makes you feel better and you can flirt with the cute guy who hands out the towels.” That made her laugh, just a little. She blew her nose and cleared her throat.

  “Thank you, sweetheart. I don’t know what I would do without you. I’ll see you on Sunday.” Her regular voice was back, and I was sure within moments it would look as if she hadn’t been crying at all. My mother was magical like that.

  “Okay, I’ll see you on Sunday. But you call me if you need anything.”

  “Charge your phone, Rory.”

  “I will. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I hung up and had to sit in my chair and stare into space for a minute. Now I was the one who felt like crying. I tried not to dwell on the crisis, but sometimes I thought about it and it made me so angry my hands shook.

  Did those people who took that money have any idea what they’d done? What they’d destroyed? The money wasn’t all that important. It was everything else that went with it. I wished I could personally line them all up and give them throat punches. But they were all in jail and awaiting the trial. Their bail had been set so high that none of them could pay it, which was a little bit of a relief.

  I allowed myself a few tears, but I wiped them away as quick as I could, blew my nose and then ate my strawberry frosted donut. The sugar helped with the heartache and the remnants of the hangover, but I still didn’t know what to do.

  Lucah. I wished Lucah were here. I mean, he was, but not across from me. We couldn’t sneak off to the soundproofed conference room for a tryst like we could not that long ago.

  Now we couldn’t so much as have a conversation without drawing suspicion. I missed him.

  I allowed myself a few minutes of moping before I wiped my eyes, checked my mascara, turned my computer on and opened my door. I could feel Lilia watching me, wondering if something bad had happened, so I just nodded and mouthed, I’m fine. I wasn’t, but she didn’t need to know that. I wasn’t going to let anyone else know that things weren’t going well.

  So I threw myself into work, and tried to focus so I could get as much done as possible. I sen
t Lilia out to get me lunch so I could work straight through. I was so immersed that when the reminder for the Board meeting popped up on my screen I kicked myself for forgetting about it. We were having Board meetings more frequently now, just to try to get the company back on track, and make sure that no other shenanigans were going on. It was a pain in the ass, and it almost felt like a violation.

  They had ordered a review of nearly each and every piece of paper, every file and more background checks on employees that probed deeper than the initial checks. I called it the Inquisition in my head. It had to be done, but it was such an invasive process. They’d even looked into me, though they didn’t tell me about it until after the fact.

  There was a list of questionable employees that they wanted to get rid of, but they didn’t want to do it all at once, so as not to make it look bad. Instead they had been doing it gradually, and replacing those people with ones they had handpicked. In addition to the people they’d hired to do the investigation, they’d hired a headhunter and had spent plenty of company dollars wooing (stealing) rising stars from other tech companies.

  It wasn’t my idea, and I thought it was a little underhanded, but I was overruled, so now I was along for the ride.

  Without Lucah and the potential for groping, meetings had gone back to being dull again. Except when I walked in, everyone’s eyes turned toward me. They’d all been talking, and had immediately stopped upon my entrance. At least Dad was here, since the first item on the agenda was the final interviews.

  The first interviewee was, to put it delicately, a portly fellow who barely fit into the chair provided for him and burped (loudly) several times while answering questions, and never excused himself. The second was better, but he definitely leered at me a few times, and even though he was qualified, he set off my icky vibe. The third was Violet Cooper. She swept into the room with her head held high, and a smile on her face. She shook everyone’s hand, including mine, and she gave me a firm grip. This girl had obviously had handshake lessons.